Warnings: domestic violence

PART 1B FOUR: Life Lessons

Elle

Life is all about learning. You never stop learning, even if you think you do. And I'm not talking about school, because let's face it; no one really learns much there. You learn what you like, but only memorize everything else. Exams are all about memorizing the unit, not about learning. Unless, of course, you actually did learn. But what's the probability that you're going to remember how to find 'z' using an algebraic formula in ten years, even five, unless you're going into math or engineering or whatever you need to know that formula for?

No, I'm talking about learning important facts of life. Like that you have to make mistakes in order to know not to do them again. Because you know what not to do, you've learned. If you accidentally burned your hand on a hot pan when you were five, well, I doubt you've burned your hand since then. If you were distracted and started crossing the street without looking and almost got run over, then I'm sure you always look both ways now.

Throughout your childhood and teenaged years, you learned how to socialize better, haven't you? You've learned how to act around sarcastic people, around rude people, around nice people, around people of all types. You've learned which people you can't joke with and which ones encourage a joke or two.

As you grow up, you learn that the world isn't as safe as your parents always told you it was. You learn about murder and rape and kidnapping and pedophiles and so much more. And because you realize that, hey, those things happen, you start keeping a better eye on your surroundings when you're alone, maybe have a weapon on you, or maybe you always travel in a group.

You learn as you grow. You learn every day. You keep tripping on a bump in the sidewalk? Eventually you're going to step over it. You say something out of line in the heat of an argument? Now you know not to say it again.

You're constantly learning. The question is, will you acknowledge what you've learned and use life's lessons to your advantage?

Thursday, October 15

Nico and I had been dating for a little over a month. He was so sweet. I'd gone over to his apartment a couple of times. We went on a bunch of dates. It was amazing.

I still met up with Jason on the days I wasn't with Nico. I still thought about becoming a vigilante, too, but I hadn't brought it up. I'd improved a lot of my maneuvers and, although not often, managed to send Jason to the ground in a sparring match.

Tim and Bruce were working hard on a case. About what, I didn't know. They'd been working on it for a little over a week, now. I didn't know anything about it, but I knew that they were getting stressed out very quickly.

Dick kept pestering me about how my driving lessons were going (they were … going. Slowly). When he wasn't doing that, he was asking about how school was. I appreciated that he was concerned about bullies, but I didn't like how overprotective he was. Needless to say, I didn't mention anything about the bullying.

School wasn't bad. It wasn't great, either. My art grade had raised a lot. Math and science were still low, but they were passing. English was my favorite subject. I had a high grade in that class. The same group of students still teased me a bit. They called me names, still, and they continued to trip me in the hallways. Nothing I couldn't handle.

Today, Nico and I went to the mall, just to hang out. We went to the stores he liked. I was disappointed and a bit frustrated that he wouldn't let me go to any of the places I liked to shop in. But when some of Nico's friends came over and Nico started to ignore me, I took the opportunity to speak up.

"Hey, I'm just going over to that store, okay?" I pointed over to the shop that had music and DVDs.

"But, babe," I fought back a scowl at the nickname he'd come up for me. I hated pet names like that. "I thought we were going to the food court?"

Nico's friends watched us. One of them started checking me out. I shifted uncomfortably. "We are. But I thought you'd like to talk with your friends and I'll go look at the music."

"I'm hungry," Nico said. "Let's just go to the food court, okay?" He bade his friends goodbye and basically started dragging me by my hand.

"Ow, Nico, you're hurting me," I told him.

He spun around. I flinched at the furious look in his eyes. "Shut up," he hissed. "Just shut up." He took a breath. "Let's just go eat."

We picked up some food and then left the mall, eating as we walked. Nico didn't even talk to me until we were in a secluded area. Then he glared at me.

"Why'd you do that?" he demanded.

I blinked, completely lost. "Do what?"

"You made me look like an idiot in front of my friends!" he exclaimed. He threw away the remainder of his food.

I bit back my annoyance. "No, I didn't," I told him as calmly as I could. "I just wanted to go shopping at one of the places I liked."

Nico knocked the rest of my food to the ground. I took a step back in surprise. He'd never acted like this before.

"And then Kyle was checking you out!" he roared. I took another step away.

"How is that my fault?" I demanded.

"Your clothes," Nico told me through gritted teeth. "What, are you trying to get other guys to look at you?"

"What? No!" I protested.

"I can't stand it when other people look at you!" Nico shouted. He grabbed my arm tightly. I yelped in surprise and pain. "Why do you have to dress like that?"

"I can wear what I want!" I shouted back.

Nico slapped my face with his free hand. I would have fallen to the ground if he wasn't still holding my arm. I was shocked into silence. What had just happened? I ripped my arm away from Nico. I knelt on the ground and pressed a hand to my tender cheek, crying silently. Should I break up with Nico? Should I run? Should I tell someone?

Immediately after seeing what he'd done, though, Nico's face turned apologetic. "I'm so sorry," he said to me. He helped me stand up. I let him hold my hand. All of my instincts told me to run. But this was Nico. He was just having a bad day. Everyone had those. "I just got angry. And a bit jealous."

A grinned weakly through my tears and pain. "A bit?"

Nico pulled me into a hug. "I love you," he said into my hair. "It won't happen again. I promise."

I pulled back slightly and looked him in the eye. He looked so sad and distraught over what he'd done. It was just a one-time deal. I leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"I forgive you," I murmured against his lips.

Nico dropped me off at the library. I used one of their bathrooms to put cover-up over the red mark on my face. Nico hadn't hit me hard enough to bruise. It would be a bit difficult to explain the slight swelling, though.

I headed down to Jason's apartment. We did a bit of sparring before I had to leave. The entire time, I thought about … becoming his Robin. That was the only thing I could think of. Jason had wanted Tim to be his Robin at one point, hadn't he? Maybe that offer was still open. Maybe he would let me be his Robin instead. As I was leaving, I mustered up the courage to ask.

I bit my lip. "Hey, Jason?" I asked tentatively. Jason looked at me, waiting for me to go on. I took a breath. "Do you … Do you still need a Robin?"

Jason eyed me. After a minute, he said, "No."

I nodded in disappointment and made to head back to the manor. I should have known.

"But I need a Cougar," Jason told me.

I grinned widely, unable to believe it. I turned back to Jason. "You serious?"

Jason rolled his eyes, but I could tell he was amused by my excitement. "Am I ever not serious?"

"Thank –"

"But," Jason interrupted. My grin faded. There was a 'but.' That wasn't good. "You need more training before you do anything. Capisce?"

I nodded. That was fair. And understandable. "Capisce."

I was so excited. I knew there was no way I could ever tell Bruce, Tim, Dick, or Alfred because they had a different view on fighting crime. And I couldn't tell Nico because that would put him danger. But those were the logical sides of me thinking. A large part of me also enjoyed the fact that I would have a secret that was all mine, excluding Jason.

I sat at the dinner table, alone. "Where is everyone?" I asked Alfred.

"Master Bruce and Master Tim are at their night job, Miss Elle," he told me. "They send their apologies that they cannot make it to supper."

I nodded in disappointment. This case must be really important if they weren't here for dinner. Again. I had to remind myself that soon, I would be out there, too. Even if I had different morals.

"Can you tell me what the big case is, at least?" I half pleaded half-heartedly, knowing the answer already.

"You know the rules," Alfred said. "Master Bruce was quite clear in his orders to not let you know of anything that has to do with his night job."

"I don't understand why not," I mumbled into my plate. "I already know he's Batman."

"It is for your own protection," Alfred told me firmly. I knew better than to argue. I ate the rest of my meal in silence.

Afterwards, I wandered the halls of the building aimlessly. Alfred didn't let me help do the dishes, so I was left on my own in the big, empty house. I didn't want to go back to my room, the number one place I spent my time in.

I sat in the living room, flipping through the television channels. I was lonely and bored. And then I received a text. I smiled.

NICO: Come over for dinner tomorrow?

ELLE: I don't want Bruce to get suspicious.

NICO: Please?

ELLE: Okay. Six?

NICO: Six-thirty.

ELLE: It's a date. Love you :)

NICO: Love you too.

I deleted the texts, not willing to take any chances. If anyone found out we were dating, Nico would constantly have a Bat following him. Or I would. Or both.

That would be one easy step to losing your boyfriend.

Exhausted, I headed up to my room. I tore a piece of paper from a notebook and lazily doodled mask designs.

I hoped Jason didn't expect me to wear spandex.