Brother on Board

by J0HNS1LVER

Sabo survives the encounter with Saint Jalmack and is fished out of the water by some mountain bandits. Years later, a different Sabo sets sail with his younger brother Monkey D. Luffy to form the Straw Hat Pirates, bringing along his rifle Bonnie Anne. See how the story you know goes differently when Luffy has his brother on board.

27. Princess Vivi

BROTHER ON BOARD

Guest 1 - Poor Vivi has no idea that Devil Fruit Powered Assassins are going to be the least of her worries.

The Patient One - That's only if Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine can get to Vivi first. Sabo's a dick in this chapter but that's mainly because of all his deep seeded grudge against nobles/royalty. It'll be up to Vivi to convince him that she's different. As for the 'LuNa'... that is not going to be a primary focus of this fic. So I'll never consider it a LuNa fic - per say. It's probably not even going to be a main subplot. Right now, they're at a point where Luffy notices Nami because she kissed him. So he pays more attention to the things she does than he did before. Nami is aware of Luffy's attention but so far isn't doing anything about it aside from making jokes because she knows the thought of his brother in a relationship makes Sabo uncomfortable. Maybe that will change as the story goes on. Drum Kingdom could potentially be a turning point. But honestly, I think I paid more attention to SaboxZoro (SaZo? SaRo?) in this chapter. But that was mostly for laughs.

TheREALMightyKamina - Sabo is One Piece English so making him drink tea kind of makes sense for him. A few of the Straw Hats have a signature drink. Zoro - Booze, Franky - Cola, Brook - Milk. I figured I'd alter things that I had previously glossed over to give Sabo one too. There's a payoff to tea-drinking Sabo coming soon. I thought making Sabo half conscious/half paralyzed during the fight would make it more unique. He didn't exactly shout 'to the pain' but it was a subtle reference. I actually included a full Princess Bride quote in this chapter.

Bluejay Blaze - One option for the artist appears in this chapter. But someone else has an issue with the Straw Hats taking him.

Lightsbane1905 - True. And if there's someone with powers like Sugar's then I suppose there could be a Devil Fruit User out there somewhere that can turn people into weapons. But that's not what I did. I'm trying to avoid adding in unnecessary OCs. I'm aware that Sabo already comes off as a bit of an OC since he's so different from canon. But a different situation inspires different characteristics and that's the basis for this story. Sabo may not be much like his canon-self but his appearance, origin and relationship with his brothers remain the same.

Guest 2 - Since 'well' doesn't mean being a homicidal prick about the situation... I'd say your statistic is fairly accurate.

rasEnshur1KEn - First of all, thanks for adding so much to the TV Tropes page. I don't know if I'm ever going to show Luffy drunk. But if I do it probably won't come until much later in the story. Maybe so everyone has enough time to 'forget' about Luffy's condition and be caught off guard by the absurdity of the situation. Sabo has some major issues that Vivi's actually going to be able to help him work through. Once Sabo gets over trying to murder her (I think that qualifies as a 'What the Hell Hero?' moment) they start a political debate that will span multiple chapters. Part 1 makes Sabo's position on 'politics' clear while Part 2 is where Vivi will rally back by bringing up Sabo's own noble status.

Lunapok - Caught ya Zoro! Sabo will let it go pretty easy in this chapter because there are more pressing issues. But it's safe to say that Sabo is never going to let Zoro live that moment down.

BedofRoses1989 - The Sabo-Vivi royalty rivalry gets a lot more intense in this chapter and it's going to be predominant for most of the Baroque Works Saga. Sabo has a lot of issues that Vivi is going to end up helping him work through. SaboxBonnie is going to stay the main ship. They are going to remain the Strangest Couple Ever for the rest of this story. You think the trapped-in-a-rifle thing is weird? I'm just getting started. Sabo and Zoro's relationship is going to remain mostly the same. They'll be constantly making fun of each other and looking for any excuse to ride each other's asses. Ugh... I just realized how that last bit sounded. I'm going to have to watch my phrasing about those two after last chapter.

Guest 3 - A fish? That was probably me putting something in subconsciously because I realized I missed a huge comedic opportunity to have Usopp slap someone with the Blue-Finned Elephant Tuna back in Loguetown. It's fixed now. Thanks.

MeatLover2014 - Only punch? The other guy was fake royalty. I think Sabo might have even suspected it from the start. Vivi is real royalty. Pray for her...

A/N: Hang on BoB crew! This is my longest chapter yet! It goes from the introduction of Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine to the debut of Nico Robin.

---

Princess Vivi-

"That swordsman's nuts!" a bounty hunter shrieked as he and two others ran out of Whiskey Peak.

"I can't believe he beat Miss Monday and Mr. 8!" one of his companions exclaimed.

"Let's get outta here before he gets us too!" the third bounty hunter resolved.

But the trio of bounty hunters froze in their tracks when they spotted two animals perched on the sign for the cemetery. The first was a small brown otter in a pair of big black sunglasses wearing a pale blue costume with purple dots all over it. The costume had long sleeves and hood that went over his head to hide most of his face. "MR. 13!"

The other animal was a large vulture with black feathers on her wings and a white ruff around her neck. Like most vultures she was bald exposing most of her pink head that wasn't hidden by her aviator's cap and dark goggles. "MISS FRIDAY!"

"IT'S THE UNLUCKIES!"

The two animals acted as messengers for Baroque Works… and also executioners.

"Uh… we weren't running away!" one of the bounty hunters blurted out.

"Yeah… we were just… uh… withdrawing to attack from another angle!" another lied desperately.

Mr. 13 and Miss Friday smirked maliciously and prepared to carry out their duty…

"Hold it right there!" a deep voice called out.

The three bounty hunters and the two animals all turned to see a man and a woman approaching.

The man was moderately tall with dark skin and black hair in spiky dreadlocks that made him look vaguely like Lenny Kravitz. He wore dark sunglasses, a large pink cravat and a long brown trench coat with the number '5' written on numerous parts of it.

The woman was slim with pale blonde hair and bright green eyes. She wore a yellow dress with an orange collar that had lemons on it along with a matching round yellow hat. She had an open yellow umbrella with a blue rings on it casually thrown of her shoulder.

"What's with all the commotion the middle of the night?" the woman questioned.

"Hmph," the man grunted, "I can't believe we had to come all the way out here to the front lines."

"Who are you?" one of the bounty hunters demanded.

"ANSWER HIM!" another one shouted, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"Mr. 5," the man answered.

"Miss Valentine," the woman replied.

---

"Hmmm…" Luffy groaned as he sat up and blearily blinked. "Is there any more of that meat left?"

He stood up and with his belly still swelled up like a balloon wandered out of the tavern into the night. With Luffy gone, Usopp and Sanji were left as the only ones still sleeping in the tavern.

---

"So… how many did you get?" Zoro inquired.

"You mean including those two?" Sabo asked as he pointed down at Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. "Two."

"HAH! I win this time," Zoro boasted. "I took out the whole town. Swords beat gun!"

"Okay, you win," Sabo agreed, "But to be fair, they drugged my tea with something special. I was half conscious for most my battle and didn't have any feeling in my legs until the very end of it."

"It's not my problem you got duped," Zoro retorted. "Don't make excuses. You still lost."

"Taunt me all you want," Sabo replied, "You're not gonna ruin my good mood. I caught you talking to your sword."

"That's your fault," Zoro growled, "I should've known that your rifle nonsense was contagious!"

"It's not nonsense if it's true!" Sabo cheekily pointed out, "So… are the others okay?"

"They were sleeping in the tavern when I left," Zoro recalled, "I took care of all the bounty hunters so they shouldn't have had a chance to kill any of them like they planned."

Sabo and Zoro made their way back to the tavern but were surprised to find only a sleeping Master Gunner and Ship's Cook still inside.

"Huh… where are Luffy and Nami?" Zoro wondered.

"Well… Luffy sometimes gets hungry in the middle of the night," Sabo reasoned, "He probably wandered off in search of a late night snack."

"A snack?" Zoro questioned. "After everything he ate? He went through three cooks."

"Never underestimate his rubber stomach," Sabo warned Zoro, "Now where'd Nami go?"

"I'm right here…"

Nami came out of a closet on the other side of the tavern with a bag slung over her shoulder. "That was disappointing. For a town full of bounty hunters I thought they'd have more money." She glanced around the tavern. "Hey, where's Luffy?"

"That's what we were just about to ask you," Zoro replied. "Were you passed out all this time?"

"Passed out?" Nami rolled her eyes, "Please. I can drink way more than that. Luffy was right over there just a moment ago. He must've wandered out while I was raiding their treasure hold."

"Those two will be okay," Sabo resolved as he looked over at Usopp and Sanji, "Let's find the Captain."

---

"Ugghh… I can't die here…" Mr. 8 groaned as he struggled to get up. "I have an important mission…"

"Are you really so pathetic that you lost to just one swordsman?"

Mr. 8 turned to see Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, "MR. 5! MISS VALENTINE!"

"Kyahahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed, "Oh give him a break. You can't expect a Frontier Agents with a handful of Millions to be as capable as we are."

"Did you come here just to laugh at us?" Mr. 8 growled.

"Nope!" Miss Valentine replied with a cheeky smile, "That's just a side benefit! Kyahahahaha!"

"We're actually here on business," Mr. 5 stated.

"Uggh…" There was a groan and they all turned to see Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday waking up.

"You must be here to serve as reinforcements!" Mr. 9 realized when he noticed the pair of new arrivals. He looked over at Mr. 8. "From the looks of you, I'd say you're having just as much trouble as we are. But with you two helping us… we'll be able to take all the pirates down easily."

"Quit messing around," Mr. 5 scoffed, "We're Baroque Works Officer Agents. Do you really think we came all the way out here just to be your back up?"

"What? Then what business could you have here?" Mr. 9 wondered.

"Kyahaha!" Miss Valentine let out a quick laugh, "Surely, you must have a hunch."

"…" Mr. 8 and Miss Wednesday glared at the pair.

"There's been a crime against our organization," Mr. 5 explained, "And it was serious enough that the boss specifically dispatched us to sort it out. The boss' exact words were 'my secret's been found out.' We don't know what the secret is… and we don't care. Our organization's motto is 'mystery'. No one is allowed to pry into other agents' personal lives… and that goes double for anything about the boss."

Miss Valentine smirked and continued where her partner left off, "We've learned that the perpetrators for this crime are royalty from certain kingdom that have managed to infiltrate Baroque Works."

"WHOA! HOLD ON!" Mr. 9 shrieked in alarm. "R-royalty? I may wear a crown but I'm not really a King!" He snatched the crown off his head and tossed it at the two Officer Agents. "Here, take it! This thing's more trouble than its worth!"

Miss Valentine shook her head, "Not you, you idiot!"

"It's over!" Mr. 8 thought to himself, "They know everything!"

"The two spies are from the Royal Kingdom of Alabasta," Mr. 5 stated.

Mr. 8 surged to his feet and fired a barrage of bullets from his rollers, "DIE! IGARAPPAPA!"

BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!

"I WON'T LET YOU HARM HER!" Mr. 8 bellowed. The bullets exploded on impact.

KA-BOOOM!

Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine were shrouded in a thick cloud of smoke.

"Mr. 8! What are you doing?" Mr. 9 wondered.

"IGARAM!" Miss Wednesday gasped.

"Igaram?" Mr. 9 repeated.

'Igaram' turned to face the blue haired girl, "When we started our infiltration I swore on my honor as the Captain of the Royal Guard that I'd protect you no matter what happened. Princess, you must run!"

"Kyahahahaha! That was futile!" Miss Valentine came flying out of the cloud of smoke completely unharmed and launched herself straight at Miss Wednesday. Miss Wednesday ducked to the side to avoid a kick but Miss Valentine's knee ended up connecting with the band binding her hair.

Krack!

The band fell off and Miss Wednesday's long blue hair came loose as she lashed out and swung at her attacker in retaliation.

SKISH!

Miss Valentine jumped over the attack and practically flew a clear twenty feet up into the air.

KA-BOOOM!

An explosion rang out and Miss Wednesday turned to see a smoking Igaram drop to the ground. "IGARAM!"

"The names of the spies…" Mr. 5 stated as the smoke cleared to reveal him completely unharmed, "…are Igaram, the Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard… and the Princess of Alabasta… Nefertari Vivi."

"You were a Princess. Miss Wednesday?" Mr. 9 blurted out.

"Now's not the time for that, Mr. 9!" Princess Vivi snapped.

"We are under direct orders from our boss to eliminate the two of you," Mr. 5 announced.

Mr. 5's death threat would have been more intimidating if he hadn't just stuck his finger up his nose.

"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!" Princess Vivi yelled as she drew her weapons, "PEACOCK…" She was cut off when Mr. 9 stood up and held one of his bats out in front of her. "Mr. 9?"

"I have no idea what's going on," Mr. 9 confessed, "But you're still the same girl that was my partner for all these years. I'll hold them off so that you can escape. Run for it, Miss Wednesday!"

Princess Vivi sniffed sadly knowing this would probably be the last time she ever saw her old partner. She turned and called out for her pet, "CARUE!"

"QUAACK!" The Super Spot-Billed Duck came charging out of a nearby alley and stopped in front of her. Princess Vivi mounted her loyalty steed and looked back at Mr. 9 who gave her a sad smile.

"Bye-bye, baby!" The acrobat launched himself at Mr. 5 with a series of slips while Princess Vivi raced off on Carue. Mr. 9 raised his bat and prepared to bring it down on Mr. 5. "HOT-BLOODED BAT OF GUTS!"

Mr. 5 pulled his finger out of his nose and flicked a booger at his attacker. "Nose Fancy…"

Fwip!

"GAH!" Mr. 9 shrieked as another man's snot landed on him.

"CANNON!" Mr. 5's snot detonated and blasted Mr. 9 off down the street in a fiery explosion.

KA-BOOOOM!

"She went that way, Mr. 5!" Miss Valentine called out as she floated in the air with her umbrella raised up overhead.

"She won't escape from us!" Mr. 5 resolved as he and Miss Valentine tore off after Princess Vivi.

"Uuugghh… noo…" Igaram wheezed as he laid on the ground charred and bleeding.

"I've got the strangest feeling that we just missed something important."

Igaram turned and saw Sabo, Zoro and Nami standing there.

"You! You've got to help me!" the exposed Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard exclaimed. "You're strong! Please! You must save Miss Wednesday!"

"Why?" Zoro asked, "You guys spent most of the night trying to kill us. Remember?"

"We did that as part of our cover," Igaram hastily explained. "Princess Vivi and I infiltrated Baroque Works to save our kingdom. But we've been discovered and now they're trying to kill us."

"Princess?" Sabo repeated. His expression faded and his face went blank.

"Yeah, did you say 'Princess'?" Nami inquired. "That means she's loaded, right? If you want us to risk our necks to save your Princess… then you've gotta compensate us for it."

"Please! They'll kill her!" Igaram urged them. He searched the pirates' faces for any sign of sympathy. Zoro appeared indifferent to the whole matter. It didn't concern him. Sabo's face was still notably blank. And Nami's face was dominated by a greedy smirk.

"We'll save her… for a billion berries," Nami proposed.

"A BI-BILL!" Igaram sputtered and nearly choked. "MAH-MAH-MAA! I am but a lowly servant! That's a matter you'll have to take up with the Princess. Please! This is a matter of life and death!"

"Oh, I see," Nami replied, "You want us to rescue her first."

"Do you wanna say something?" Zoro asked Sabo… who now had a grim smile on his face.

"Don't bother with him," Nami insisted. "I'm negotiating this deal! Zoro, go save her."

"What? Get her yourself," Zoro retorted, "I don't want any part of your moneymaking schemes."

"Is that the way you talk to someone that you owe money?" Nami challenged him.

"It's only a hundred thousand berries!" Zoro growled. "I already paid you back half of what I borrowed."

"Actually its three hundred," Nami countered, "Don't forget the two hundred percent interest. You owed me four hundred thousand berries but only paid back one hundred."

"But I gave it back to you the same day!" Zoro argued. "That can't count!"

"Of course it does!" Nami insisted, "If you couldn't handle paying off the loan you shouldn't have taken it in the first place. I'm not a charity. Because of the interest, the amount that you owe me will keep going up until you finally fully pay me off. But… I'd be willing to show you some leniency on the accumulating interest if you do me this favor."

"That's blackmail!" Zoro snarled, "Get someone else to be your errand boy!"

"I'll take care of it," Sabo volunteered. He slung Bonnie Anne over his shoulder and dashed off.

"At least one of you knows how to get something done," Nami berated Zoro.

Zoro scowled and shook his head, "You're such an idiot."

Nami glared at Zoro, "I'm an idiot!?"

"What else would I call you?" Zoro replied, "You just let the guy with a malicious grudge anyone noble or royal… go off to rescue a Princess."

"Whaaa…" Mr. 8 croaked then started coughing. "KOFF! KOFF! KOFF!"

Nami had gone pale at Zoro revelation… then she swore loudly, "OH SHIT!" She spun and ran off after the Quartermaster, "SAABOO! YOU SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU COST ME A BILLION BERRIES I'LL TAKE BONNIE AND SHOVE HER SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU'LL BE THE ONE SPITTING BULLETS!"

"Now that's an angry woman…" Zoro remarked.

"ZOOORRROOO!"

The swordsman turned to see a furious Luffy. "Oh, there you are."

"YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!" Luffy yelled, "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

"Excuse me?" Zoro questioned.

"These people welcomed us and gave us free food!" Luffy exclaimed, "AND YOU WENT AND BEAT EVERYONE UP, YA DIRTBAG!"

"Hey, hold on!" Zoro protested, "That wasn't what you think!"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY OF YOUR LIES!" Luffy hollered at him.

"Lies?" Zoro repeated, now getting offended, "I DON'T LIE!"

"Oh, yeah, what's that then?" Luffy said as he pointed at the wounded Igaram. "YOU DID THAT TO THE ROLLER-GUY! I LIKED THAT GUY! NOW I'M GONNA BEAT SOME GRATITUDE INTO YOU!"

Luffy shot his fist out at Zoro and the swordsman lunged to the side to avoid the blow.

KROOM!

Zoro's eyes widened in shock as Luffy's fist smashed through the stone wall of the building behind him. "Holy shit! You really are trying to kill me!"

"YEAH!" Luffy agreed, "SO DIE!" Luffy threw another punch at Zoro but Zoro knocked it away with one of his swords.

WHAK!

"I'll show you what everyone in this town learned the hard way!" Zoro growled, "No one tries to kill me and gets away with it!"

"WAAAAAIIIIIT!" Luffy and Zoro froze and turned to see Igaram sitting up. "I can explain!" And he did.

"OOOOH! So that's what happened," Luffy remarked, "I thought you attacked them 'cause they didn't have a dish you liked!"

"THAT'S SOMETHING YOU'D DO!" Zoro snapped at him.

---

Carue raced through Whiskey Peak with Princess Vivi on his back.

"I'VE FOUND HER, MR. 5!"

"FASTER CARUE!" Princess Vivi urged her duck. "There's a ship waiting on the other side of the Cactus Rocks. We can escape on that."

"Kyahahahaha," Ms. Valentine laughed as she dropped down out of the sky and landed on a stack of crates next to her partner, "such a futile struggle."

SKEEESH…

Carue skidded to a stop when someone barred his path.

"MISS MONDAY!" the former Miss Wednesday blurted out.

Miss Monday still had bruises on her face from her scuffle with Zoro and was now wielding a huge wooden support beam as a weapon.

"Go," Miss Monday said surprising the Princess. "If you cut through that alley you should be able to get to your boat. I'll do my best to hold off these guys."

"But…" Princess Vivi started to reply but Miss Monday cut her off.

"We all failed our mission because of those pirates. We worked together here at Whiskey Peak all these years… and since I'm going to be punished anyway… I might as well go down swinging and protect someone that I consider a friend. NOW GO!"

"I… thank you!" Princess Vivi called out as she raced off again.

"Another traitor," Mr. 5 noted when he found Miss Monday barring their path, "First Mr. 9, now you."

"Kyahahaha! What a joke," Miss Valentine scoffed.

"Your loyalty should be to Baroque Works above all else!" Mr. 5 growled, "YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR ORGANIZATION!"

Miss Monday swung her post at Mr. 5 but the Officer Agent ducked under it and smashed his arm into the muscular woman. His arm exploded on contact.

KA-BOOOOOM!

Miss Monday was blasted backwards and landed on her back.

"KYAHAHAHAHA!" Miss Valentine cackled as she floated overhead. "HEADS UP! 10,000 KILO PRESS!"

SHOOOOO!

Miss Valentine plummeted down out of the sky and came crashing down on Miss Monday

BOOOOOM!

The much smaller blonde dropped on Miss Monday and the incredible impact buried the larger woman a sheer ten feet in the ground.

---

Outside of Whiskey Peak, just ahead of the Cactus Rocks, Princess Vivi closed her eyes and struggled not to shed tears as another one of the friends she'd made during her infiltration likely died protecting her.

KER-CHOW!

"QUAAAA!" Carue shrieked in alarm as a bullet blew a large hole in the path ahead of them.

"That was your one warning shot," Sabo stated as he stood barring the path through the Cactus Rocks. "I'm not using rubber rounds this time."

"I have no quarrel with you, Dandy Man," Princess Vivi assured him. "Please, I have to get passed!"

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to forget about how you tried to kill me in my sleep?" Sabo countered. "You damn royals think you can get away with everything."

"I... that was part of my cover!" Princess protested. "I'm trying to save my country!"

"Right," Sabo scoffed, "And how pray tell does saving your country involve disguising yourself as a bounty hunter and murdering people?"

"I was undercover!" Princess Vivi insisted, "I've been infiltrating Baroque Works for three years as a spy!"

"And that magically makes what you did okay?" Sabo countered, "Don't think that I didn't notice that the tombstone needles on the 'cacti' behind me. How many sailors came to your town thinking that they had accomplished something great? That they had survived the unpredictable weather in the first leg of the Grand Line and were about to embark on the journey of their lives... only to be drugged and killed in their sleep by a town full of murdering cowards!"

Vivi flinched, "They... they were pirates!" the princess protested, "They were thieves and murderers!"

"Is that what you told yourself to justify your actions?" Sabo accused her.

"Yes!" Vivi insisted, "It's the only way I could sleep at night! And even then... who do you think started planting those tombstones!? Those are just a small portion of the lives taken by Baroque Works! I've been spying on them all this time looking for a way to bring them down. And now that I've finally found one... they've sent assassins after me!"

"Hold it right there!"

Sabo looked passed Vivi while Vivi looked back over her shoulder to see Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

"Oi! Piss off!" Sabo called out to the Officer Agents.

"That girl has committed crimes against our organization," M. 5 stated, "We're here to kill her."

"Well you're just gonna have to wait your turn!" Sabo snapped at them.

"Excuse me?" Mr. 5 dead-panned

"I caught her first!" Sabo replied, "That means I get to kill her. Go find your own Princess!"

"Well isn't that convenient," Mr. 5 remarked. He folded his arms across his chest, "Fine, then, kill her."

Miss Valentine looked over at her partner in surprise, "You're actually going to let him do it?"

"Our mission is complete as long as the Princess is dead," Mr. 5 stated. "It doesn't really make a difference to the end result if someone else does it. And in the meantime, there are four traitorous Frontier Agents that need to be replaced. If the kid's good we can put in a good word with the boss."

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed, "Works for me."

Sabo smirked and turned back to Princess Vivi. "Now where were we?"

Vivi now found herself between a rock and a hard place. Ahead of her was a pirate that hated royalty wielding a high-power rifle who would most likely kill her. Behind her were two highly skilled Devil Fruit Powered assassins from Baroque Works who would definitely kill her.

Vivi desperately threw herself off of Carue and dropped to her knees in front of Sabo, "Is this what you want? To see a Princess groveling at your feet? I know you hate royalty... but you have to spare me!"

"So I'm just supposed to forget about everything you did?" Sabo challenged her, "You tried to murder Laboon. That poor whale had been suffering in misery for the last fifty years. And then, Luffy decided to do you guys a favor and had us select our course specifically so we could take you home. And what do you do in exchange? You leave us to be drugged by your bounty hunter friends. What would've happened if you had actually succeeded, huh? We would've been dead. Just six more tombstones on your cacti. Bonnie would be all alone. And you'd still have assassins coming after you." Sabo shook his head. "You might think that because you're a Princess it means you're above the law... above such trivial things that we common folk have to face, like justice. But your royal lineage doesn't mean shit to me!"

Vivi was now openly sobbing. "Please... please don't... This is a matter of life and death!"

"Yeah… yours," Sabo agreed.

"NO! The lives of my people!" Princess Vivi exclaimed. "If you kill me... then thousands... hundreds of thousands of my people will die!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Princess," Sabo retorted, "You may think that the world revolves around you and that your country wouldn't be able to function without you to worship... but that's a load of crap. Your people will be better off."

"BAROQUE WORKS IS MANIPULATING MY COUNTRY INTO A CIVIL WAR!" Vivi shouted, "I learned who their boss is! I can stop it! But you have to let me go... PLEASE! You cared enough to protect that whale so I know you can't possibly be this cruel! If you kill me now then every death in my kingdom will be on your hands!"

"I'm still not convinced," Sabo admitted, "You lied about being a secret agent. You lied about being a bounty hunter. How do I know that this isn't another one of your lies because I've got you cornered in a bad situation?" Sabo raised his rifle, "What do you think, Bonnie?"

Vivi was suddenly staring down the barrel of a rifle pointed at her forehead. She let out a whimper and closed her eyes as tears ran down her face.

"Please… my people… they'll die…"

"QUAAAACK!" Carue quacked surprisingly menacingly and lunged at Sabo.

SWISH!

Sabo ducked under Carue's attempted tackle… then pulled Bonnie's trigger.

Click!

Vivi let out a sigh of exhausted relief. The near death situation had drained most of the fight from her.

"It appears that my better half wants to give you a chance," Sabo commented.

"Th-thank you… B-Bonnie…" the still shaken and sobbing Princess replied. Vivi didn't know what was going on with that rifle. But she'd do anything to save her kingdom. And if that included playing along with some psychopathic pirate's rifle obsession… then she'd do it.

"So in the end… you didn't kill her," Mr. 5 noted as he uncrossed his arms. "I guess you're afraid to get your hands dirty. We're not. We're professional assassins. Now we'll just have to kill you along with her."

Sabo shook his head and stepped passed Vivi. "You shouldn't have said that. Y'see, I may have decided not to kill her myself. But I hadn't decided if I wanted to risk my neck trying to save her. But now you've forced the issue by threatening to kill me. Ask the Princess… I don't take kindly to murder attempts."

"It's true…" Vivi admitted. "He doesn't. Thank you for saving me..."

"Stuff it, Princess!" Sabo snapped, "I'm not saving you. I'm defending myself."

"Right..." Vivi mused. Since Sabo wasn't actually looking out for her… she decided to focus on her own survival. Vivi crawled over to Carue and used him to pull herself back to her feet.

"One more victim… that's no skin off my nose," Mr. 5 replied before he stuck his finger up his nose.

Sabo flinched, "What are you doing!? That can't be what you meant by 'getting your hands dirty'!"

"I'm…"

"That's disgusting!" Sabo exclaimed. "What kind of sick bastard just jams his finger up his nose? Are you trying to gross me out and throw me off my game?"

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine couldn't help laughing, "Looks like he's calling you out, Mr. 5! Kyahaha!"

Mr. 5 raised his sunglasses with his clean hand and glared at his partner which was enough to silence her laughter before he turned back to Sabo. "I have Devil Fruit Powers from eating the Bomb Bomb Fruit. I can turn any part of my body into a bomb. And that includes my boogers. Nosy Fancy… CANNON!"

Fwip!

Sabo ducked to the side and Mr. 5's booger flew passed him and exploded when it hit the ground.

KA-BOOOOOM!

"AAAH! CAARUUEE!" Vivi screamed as the path exploded under her and blasted the duck up into the air. Vivi was sent flying as Carue came crashing down.

THUD!

The Princess stared at her cooked duck in horror.

"You can turn any part of your body into a bomb… and that's what you decide to use?" Sabo asked.

"HEY BLONDIE!" Miss Valentine shouted from up in the air. "I've got powers too! I ate the Kilo Kilo Fruit! I can change my weight from anything between one to ten thousand kilograms!"

"I mean seriously!" Sabo continued to complain, "That's the most disgusting Devil Fruit Power I've ever heard of! Granted, I don't know that many Devil Fruit Users. But at least the others all have a quiet dignity about them. Seriously, couldn't you at least use your spit? Nobody wants to have some sick freak's bodily fluids on them… but at least it's not mucus!"

"I hope you're getting scared!" Miss Valentine threatened, "I'm starting to increase my weight now! I'll squash you flat!"

"I don't need you to tell me how to use my powers!" Mr. 5 insisted as he dug for another bomb.

"THERE YOU GO AGAIN!" Sabo shouted. "THIS IS A FIGHT! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!"

"HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Miss Valentine yelled.

"DANDY MAN! THAT WOMAN—" Princess Vivi called out in alarm as she knelt over her duck. There was no love lost between her and Sabo but he was her best chance at surviving Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

"Can it, Princess!" Sabo ordered, "I'm busy with the nose picker."

"10,000 KILO PRESS!" Miss Valentine shrieked as she plummeted down out of the sky.

Mr. 5 pulled his finger out, "Nose Fancy…"

KER-CHOW!

Sabo fired Bonnie Anne who recoiled and threw him backwards two feet.

BOOOOM!

Miss Valentine slammed into the ground in the spot Sabo had just been standing in.

"AAUUGGH!" Mr. 5 screamed out in pain as he held up his hand… which was now missing fingers.

"There, problem solved," Sabo stated as he stood back up.

"YOU JACKASS!" Miss Valentine hollered as she climbed out of the crater she'd made in the ground.

"What's your problem?" Sabo asked the angry blonde.

"I HATE BEING IGNORED!" the blonde snapped.

"Oh, is that all?" Sabo questioned, "Ten thousand kilograms, right?"

"I… yes," Miss Valentine answered, surprised that he'd actually been paying attention.

"There's a reason I didn't concern myself about your powers…" Sabo stated, "They're not impressive." Sabo wound up and smashed the Officer Agent with his rifle. "KNOCK BACK!"

WHAAAM!

Miss Valentine when flying backwards and slammed into her wounded partner. The two of them smashed through the front of a house and completely demolished it.

KROOOOM!

"AND THEY'RE OUTTA HERE!" Sabo cheered.

"I… I didn't realize you were so strong," Vivi stammered.

"How far did I send you flying with that attack?" Sabo reminded her as he turned to face the Princess. "How's your ostrich?"

"He's—" Vivi rested her head on Carue's chest and cut off her attempt to correct him when she felt a heartbeat. "HE'S ALIVE! I think he'll pull through!"

"SOOON OOOF AAAAA BIIIIITCH!"

WHAM!

Sabo was caught off guard when Nami ran in out of nowhere and tackled him. He hit the ground head-first and was knocked unconscious.

"Hey there, Princess," Nami greeted Princess Vivi as she climbed off of Sabo, "I'm sorry for any trouble the Dandy Moron gave you. Unlike him, I'm fully willing to help royalty."

"Oh… um… thank you…" Vivi replied, "But… actually… he agreed to spare me…"

"He did?" Nami questioned. "I'm surprised."

"Well… he wanted to kill me," Vivi recounted, "But his… um… Bonnie decided not to."

"You're damn right she did!" Nami growled as she glared at the rifle, "Smug bitch knows I would've broken her and her boyfriend in half if she cost me a big payday like this one."

"I… um… right…" Vivi said. Apparently this pirate was a violent psychopath too, "Uh… payday?"

"Well, I said I was willing to help royalty," Nami stated, "But my help comes at a price…"

Vivi swallowed. Make that a greedy violent psychopath. "And now I'm feeling decidedly less safe…"

"C'mon, you're a Princess, you can afford it," Nami reassured her, "I'll make sure you get out of here safely… and you can pay me a nice even one billion berries."

"A BILLION!?" Vivi gasped, "I don't have that much!"

"Why not?" Nami questioned, "You're royalty. Aren't you loaded? I'm not about to get stiffed!"

"You must not know anything about Alabasta," Vivi realized, "My Kingdom has been suffering through a horrible drought for years and is on the brink of civil war. No one has that kind of money now."

"Well now I'm suddenly feeling a lot less motivated to help you out," Nami remarked. "You've got assassins coming after you. I'm not about to face that kind of trouble and stick my neck out for free."

"He was…" Vivi pointed out as she motioned to Sabo. "Even though he tried to kill me… I think I'd prefer to negotiate with him… He's very rude to me… but to be fair… I did try to kill him first... And isn't he your Quartermaster?"

"Yeah, but he's indisposed right now," Nami reminded her, "So I'm taking over."

KER-CHOW!

"YAAH!" Nami yelped and twisted to the side as Bonnie's bullet skimmed her hip. "YOU BITCH!"

Vivi looked over at the angry pirate and then over at the rifle that was lying on the ground three feet away from Sabo. "Wait… he's definitely unconscious this time. Is there something wrong with that rifle?"

"Only that it's possessed by the biggest bitch on the planet!" Nami snapped.

KER-CHOW!

"YAAAH!" Nami yelped again and dodged to the other side to avoid another bullet that ended up skimming her other hip.

"Whoa!" Vivi gasped in surprise as Nami's short black skirt suddenly dropped to her knees. The Princess was suddenly treated to a view of the pirate's pale blue panties with a beri sign on them that were surprisingly fashionable and matched the pale blue sleeveless top she was wearing.

"EEEP!" Nami squealed in alarm and yanked her skirt back up. She had to hold it in place on account that Bonnie's 'missed' shots had torn through the waistband. "YOU SKANK! THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SKIRT!"

"WAIT!" Vivi yelled as she dove in between the embarrassed pirate and the rifle and held out her arms. "That rifle… Bonnie… She… shot accurately enough to tear through your skirt… even with you flinching… and with no one pulling the trigger. Once might have been a coincidence… but to do it twice? You're not crazy… the rifle… it really is possessed."

"Not for long!" Nami growled, "I'm about to perform an exorcism!"

"No! You can't!" Vivi exclaimed.

"Why not?" Nami challenged her.

"Because… she… saved my life… I think…" Vivi answered uncertainly. "My partner and I tried to kill your Quartermaster earlier. He had been drugged by something Igaram put in his tea. He was unconscious… or asleep. Either way, Bonnie defended him. She used those rubber bullets to hit Carue and my partner. And she even used the last one to wake her… boyfriend… when I had him entranced." Vivi looked down at the rifle. "Sorry about that, by the way. It wasn't personal." Vivi looked back at Nami, "And… when Sabo had her pointed at my head… he said he still wasn't convinced… he pulled the trigger… and she didn't fire." Vivi knelt down and tentatively picked up Bonnie Anne. "You saved me… thank you."

Click!

Vivi blinked and looked over at Nami, "Um… does that mean something?"

"The hell if I know," Nami replied. She went to fold her arms over her chest but her ruined skirt immediately started to slip again so she quickly dropped her hands to keep it back up. "She hates me so I interpret anything she says to me as some sort of curse. You want a translation? Ask her rifle-loving boyfriend." Nami rolled her eyes and muttered, "Strangest couple ever…"

Vivi slid closer to the unconscious Quartermaster and, still very aware of the fact that they had both tried to kill each other in the span of the last hour, cautiously grabbed his shoulder and gave it a shake. "Um… Mr. Dandy Man?"

KER-CHOW!

Vivi's close position meant that Bonnie fired right near Sabo's ear. Vivi was thrown backwards by the recoil and landed hard on her back. But the loud weapon emission was enough to wake Sabo.

"What happened?" Sabo sat up and saw the Princess holding his rifle. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Sabo reached out and snatched his rifle back then hugged his girlfriend to his chest. Sabo looked passed Vivi and spotted Nami. "That was a cheap shot, Nami."

"Serves you right," Nami retorted, "You nearly cost me a billion berries."

"I'm not paying you a billion berries that I don't have!" Vivi insisted as she sat up and rubbed her back.

"NAMI! SABO! WE'RE HERE!"

Sabo, Nami and Vivi turned to see that Luffy and Zoro had arrived.

"See, Zoro? I told you we were going the wrong way," Luffy pointed out, "To find Sabo all you've gotta do is follow the gunshots."

"Whatever," Zoro grumbled. It was a sad day for Zoro when even Luffy had a better sense of direction than him.

"Are you the Princess?" Luffy asked as he pointed to Vivi.

"Um… yes," Vivi answered.

"The funny roller haired guy asked us to bring you home to Arablasta," Luffy announced.

"That's Alabasta," Vivi corrected him.

"Really?" Luffy asked, "I thought my way sounded cooler…"

"Did Igaram actually ask that?" Vivi questioned.

"He said he had a plan," Zoro stated, "And that we were supposed to take you home."

"You didn't agree to it, did you!?" Nami demanded. "It turns out she's broke!"

"Sure, I did," Luffy replied, "We don't have anywhere better to go."

"Oh, hell," Sabo cursed, "Now we're stuck with her…"

Nami desperately turned to Zoro, "You're not going along with this, are you?"

"He's the Captain," Zoro reminded her, "He may be an idiot but unlike you, he's a genuinely good-hearted person. I'll gladly support any of his decisions."

"Where is he? I'll kill him!"

Everyone turned to see Mr. 5 climb out of the rubble from the house he had destroyed. He'd lost his sunglasses and had his mutilated hand bundled up inside his coat.

Ms. Valentine could also be seen in the wreckage but she had taken the full brunt of Sabo's attack and hadn't stirred yet.

"You bastard! I'll blow you to smithereens!" Mr. 5's immense rage gave him tunnel vision and when he spotted Sabo he completely ignored Luffy and Zoro as he stomped toward him.

Luffy looked over at his brother sitting on the ground with his girlfriend propped against his chest… then back at the bleeding man that had just threatened to kill him.

POW!

Luffy's fist slammed into Mr. 5's face and the Bomb Man went flying clear across Whiskey Peak and smashed through three houses along the way.

"Who was that guy?" Luffy wondered.

"Don't worry about it, Luffy," Sabo reassured him, "I doubt we'll ever see him again."

Luffy shrugged, "Okay then."

"Now then," Sabo resolved as he turned to Vivi, "What's going on in Arablasta?"

"That's Ala-Basta..." Vivi corrected him.

"I'm aware," Sabo stated, "But Luffy's way of saying it sounds cooler."

"Told ya!" Luffy chirped.

"It doesn't matter if its cooler," Zoro scolded them, "Knock it off and let her get to the point." He looked over at Vivi, "I only know the basics about your former organization. Why don't you tell us what you know about Baroque Works so we have a better idea of what we're up against?"

Luffy smiled eagerly and scrambled over to Sabo, who was still sitting on the ground with Bonnie in his lap, and dropped down next to him. Zoro rolled his eyes at the Captain's enthusiasm but couldn't hide his own curious expression as he sat down as well. Nami refused to sit on the ground and eventually found a large enough rock to take a seat on.

"I suppose I can fill you in until Igaram gets here," Vivi reasoned as she knelt down near Carue and patted her wounded duck comfortingly. "As you know by now, Baroque Works is a criminal organization. Its members are comprised of assassins, bounty hunters, pirates and other lowlifes that hide their identities using codenames. The really dangerous ones are the Officer Agents. They're the ones with male members whose codename range from one to five. Most of them have Devil Fruit Powers that make them powerful enough to have bounties outside of the organization. All the way at the top of the organization are the boss Mr. 0 and his Vice President Miss All Sunday. They're the ones running the whole operation. Mr. 0 claims that Baroque Work's objective is to create an ideal nation… a Utopia."

"Sounds good to me," Sabo remarked, "Why are we fighting these guys again?"

"Because… that objective is a lie!" Vivi insisted, "Mr. 0 deceives his underlings by claiming they'll have positions of power in the Utopia once their plans are complete. But his real plan is to form the Utopia by taking over Alabasta."

"Right, I figured as much," Sabo stated, "I wonder if Mr. 0 will let me be the new Mr. 8… I come equipped with my own partner."

"Sabo, you can't join a criminal organization and take over a country," Luffy reprimanded him.

"I don't see it as taking over as much as liberating it from a tyrannical dictatorship," Sabo stated.

"BAROQUE WORKS ARE KILLERS!" Vivi insisted, "They're the ones that ordered us to murder all the pirates you were defending earlier! Those deaths are just to fund the organization. They're going about the conquest of my country in the most cruel way possible! Baroque Works is stoking a rebellion that is causing my country to split in two. The dissent has become so bad that rebels formed an army. The last time I checked their numbers were around four hundred thousand soldiers. The royal army has six hundred thousand soldiers. When those two armies finally clash there will be heavy casualties for both sides!"

"Here's an idea," Sabo suggested, "Why doesn't your father just give up his crown? No civil war. Arablasta is saved. Problem solved."

"See, it sounds cooler," Luffy pointed out.

"The Nefertari Family has ruled Alabasta for generations!" Vivi told him, "Thousands of years! My father comes from a long line of kind and generous rulers!"

"Sure, you'd think that from living in a palace your whole life, Princess," Sabo retorted, "But newsflash, there's gotta be something wrong with the way your father runs his country if four hundred thousand people got together to form an army to oust him from power."

"MY FATHER IS A GREAT MAN!" Vivi snapped. "HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG!"

"Your father…" Sabo stated, "…is hanging onto an outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in society. You're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class—"

"Zzzzzzz…" The talk of politics had put Luffy and Zoro to sleep. Luffy was currently drooling all over Sabo's shoulder while Zoro was sleeping flat on his back. Even Nami was nodding off as she rested her chin on her hand.

"It has nothing to do with class!" Vivi argued.

"Of course it does," Sabo insisted, "That's what it's all about. And if there's ever to be any progress—"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Vivi interrupted, "My father was framed! He – Have you ever heard of something called Dance Powder?"

Sabo shrugged, "No. Is it important?" Sabo's movement was enough to jostle Luffy partially awake.

"Yes! It's the main reason the rebellion started!" Vivi told him.

"I've heard of it…" Nami chimed in and stifled a yawn. "Uhh… it's too late for all this political talk… Dance Powder was created long ago by a country with no rain. When it's burnt it emits a mist-like vapor that rises up into the air and speeds up the creation the creation of rain clouds which then create artificial rain. The creators were so happy with the rain that they danced with joy and decided to call it Dance Powder."

"The Navigator's a weather expert," Sabo noted, "I knew there was a reason we kept you around."

"Shut up, I'm not done," Nami growled at him, "There's a downside to the Dance Powder. Because it sped up the maturing process of the rain clouds… the neighboring countries that would have normally received that rain when the clouds naturally matured were deprived. Basically, the Dance Powder steals rain from other countries. It caused a war which had enough casualties that the World Government banned the manufacture and possession of Dance Powder."

"Alabasta is a desert kingdom," Vivi explained, "We never get much rain but there was always some. But then around four years ago it completely stopped. The only place that received any rain was the capital city of Alubarna. One day… there was an accident the port town of Erumalu and a merchant cart spilled its ware… It was carrying Dance Powder. The merchants claimed they were delivering it to my father."

"So Sabo's right!" Luffy blurted out, "Your father's the bad guy!"

"No! He isn't!" Vivi insisted. "He allowed a full search of the palace to be conducted to prove that he wasn't using Dance Powder… but some was found in the cellar."

Sabo opened his mouth but Vivi quickly cut him off, "It was planted there to frame him! The merchants were Baroque Works Agents who staged the accident. And the people who planted the powder were Baroque Works Agents that had infiltrated the Royal Guard. I know this because I came across the three perpetrators while they were discussing their successful mission and were talking about being promoted in their organization. That was the first time that I heard about Baroque Works. I confided with Igaram. He's the Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard and has looked after me for as long as I can remember. The two us managed to infiltrate Baroque Works and rose through the ranks to become Frontier Agents. Thanks to my new position, I was able to learn about their plans as well as Baroque Works' most well-kept secret… the boss – Mr. 0's true identity."

"Oh, really?" Luffy questioned, "Who is he?"

"I can't tell you that!" Vivi shrieked, "Ask me anything but that! His identity is top secret! They sent assassins with Devil Fruit Powers after me as soon as they learned that I knew it. They'll do the same to you if I tell you. Anyway, now that I know everything about Baroque Works… I can return home and stop the rebellion. I can stop the impending war and no one else will die."

"Yeah, you'd better not tell us about that," Nami reasoned, "That Mr. 0 definitely doesn't sound like someone that I want coming after me."

"Exactly," Vivi said, "You wouldn't stand a chance against the Warlord Sir Crocodile." Everyone froze. Vivi immediately went pale when she realized what she'd just said.

"Who?" Zoro inquired he sat up. He'd woken up at the word 'Warlord'.

"Did you just… tell us the thing you weren't supposed to tell us?" Sabo asked. "Thanks Princess…"

Vivi clamped her hands over her mouth while Nami gaped at her in utter shock.

Scritch-scritch-scribble-scribble…

The five of them looked up to see a vulture perched on a nearby building. There was otter on the vulture's back drawing on a large notepad.

"…" the pirates and the princess stared up at the two animals.

"…" the Unluckies stared right back.

Miss Friday flapped her wings and took off with Mr. 13 on her back.

WOOOSH!

Nami ran over to Vivi and grabbed her by the collar, "THE OTTER AND THE VULTURE! WHO ARE THEY? ARE THEY GONNA REPORT US? WELL!?"

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Vivi whimpered as Nami shook her back and forth, "IT JUST SLIPPED OUT!"

"I'M GONNA HAVE ASSASSINS AND A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION COMING AFTER ME BECAUSE SOMETHING JUST SLIPPED OUT!?" Nami hollered.

"Wow! A Warlord!" Luffy exclaimed, "Hey, we agreed that I get to fight this one!"

"When did we agree to this?" Sabo inquired.

"On the way to Arlong Park," Luffy answered, "Zoro had his fight with Hawk-guy, I called dibs on the next one, and Sanji said he wanted to fight one too."

"Your brother also suggested that you'd probably want a crack at one," Zoro informed him.

"Oh, okay," Sabo agreed, "That's fair. I can… uuhh…" Sabo trailed off when looked over at Nami attempting to strangle the Princess, "uh… wait my turn…"

Nami let Vivi drop limply to the ground and sobbed, "We just entered the Grand Line and we've already got one of the Seven Warlords after us…"

"Uh… Nami…" Sabo called out, "I know you're in the middle of a massive freakout… and I certainly don't want to make you feel any worse… but uh… look down."

Everyone looked down and saw that Nami had lost her skirt again when she'd gone to shake Vivi. Her pale blue 'beri' panties were once again on display. Luffy's eyes bulged and he fell over in shock, Zoro flushed faintly and looked away while Vivi whimpered another apology from the ground.

"Good color choice though," Sabo remarked.

"Oh this is just perfect," Nami groused as looked over at the skirt she'd left over by her rock. Right now her fear for her life overruled any potential embarrassment. "You know what? SCREW IT! I've had it with haunted rifles, suicidal lunatics and criminal assassins!"

"Wait, she forgot us," Luffy protested.

"I think we're the suicidal lunatics, Luffy," Sabo supplied.

"Oh, okay," Luffy replied.

"KEEP THE SKIRT!" Nami yelled. Still clad in only her shirt, shoes and panties she stomped off, "I QUIT!"

"Nami? Where're you going?" Luffy asked as she went passed him.

"THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE YET!" Nami yelled back, "I'M GETTING AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM YOU NUMBSKULLS!"

"Hey, Sabo, can I walk around without my shorts on?" Luffy requested as he picked up Nami's skirt.

"No, no, you can't," Sabo answered crisply.

"But Nami is!" Luffy pointed out.

"Nami is two seconds away from a nervous breakdown," Sabo countered, "She has an excuse."

WOOOSH!

Miss Friday landed in front of Nami and Mr. 13 showed her the sketches that he'd drawn of her, Luffy, Sabo and Zoro.

Nami put on a big fake smile and applauded the otter. "WOW! Those are so good!" She turned around and screamed at the others, "NOW THERE'S NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN!"

"Holy crap!" Sabo exclaimed, "Did that otter just draw us!?"

Nami grumbled furiously to herself as she stalked back over to the Straw Hats.

"Here's your skirt back, Nami," Luffy said as he happily held it out for her.

Nami stopped to snatch her skirt back then beat Luffy over the head with same hand.

BONK!

Nami stepped back into her skirt and hiked it back up then climbed back onto her rock, buried her face in her knees and started sobbing.

Vivi cautiously crept over to the crying pirate and patted her on the back consolingly. "I have five hundred thousand berries saved up… you can have that if you want…"

"Hey Luffy! Check this out!" Sabo instructed from where he was standing facing Mr. 13 and Miss Friday. "This otter can draw! He's an artist!"

"REALLY!?" Luffy asked as he popped back up off the ground.

CLICK! CLICK!

Miss Friday unveiling a double-barreled cannon and trained it on the rifle-wielding pirate.

"Whoa, easy!" Sabo reassured the vulture. "We're cool! We're cool!" Sabo slowly and deliberately crouched down and placed Bonnie Anne on the ground then took a big step away from her while remaining in his low crouch. "Can I see those sketches again?"

Mr. 13 stared warily up at Luffy who was now standing eagerly behind his crouching brother then held up his sketches and fanned them out. The Straw Hats had all been captured in the exactly moment of when Vivi had revealed Mr. 0's identity.

Sketch-Luffy had an eager gleam in his eyes and was grinning like an idiot. His straw hat and the shoulders of his vest had been included in the frame of the sketch.

Sketch-Sabo was giving an annoyed glare (to Vivi). The top of his top hat was cut off but Bonnie Anne was included since Sabo nearly had her pressed against his face while she was propped against his chest.

Sketch-Zoro had his arms folded behind his head and his eyes were only half opened since at that moment he had only just woken up from his politics-induced nap.

Sketch-Nami's eyes had gone wide and her jaw was dropped in horror. It wasn't a flattering sketch but it hadn't been a flattering pose.

"Those are actually really good," Sabo complimented the animal artist, "They look just like us. Hey, can you draw a frame around them like they're wanted posters?"

Mr. 13 reached up with his free paw to raise his sunglasses so he could pointedly narrow his beady black eyes at the pirate's request.

"Yeah, we don't have wanted posters yet!" Luffy chimed in.

The otter shook his head.

"Aw, come on," Sabo pleaded, "You're gonna give those sketches to your bosses so they can kill us." Sabo cupped his hands together, "Please? Think of it as a last request from a doomed man. And besides, don't you want your sketches to look professional?"

The otter cocked his head to the side then shrugged. He placed the sketches back on his pad, pulled his pencil back out and started drawing.

Skitch-skitch-scribble-scribble-scribble…

"Oooo! Look at him go!" Luffy cheered.

Mr. 13 eventually turned around his sketches to reveal that he'd drawn a frame around the pictures and had written the word 'WANTED' at the top. Below that the poster said 'Dead' where traditional wanted posters usually said 'dead or alive'

Luffy and Sabo applauded the otter's efforts. "Oooh! That's so cool!"

"Wait… he didn't give us actual bounties…" Sabo pointed out.

Mr. 13 shrugged.

"Say… how'd you like to join our crew?" Sabo inquired. "This guy really wants an Artist."

Mr. 13 shook his head.

"You don't even want to think about it?" Sabo pressed him. "Your friend can come too."

Miss Friday shook her head.

"You make me sad," Sabo sighed.

But Luffy wasn't ready to give up yet, "JOIN US! WE HAVE CRACKERS!"

Mr. 13 once again raised his sunglasses so the two pirates could see him rolling his eyes at them.

"Well, if that's your decision we might as well—" Sabo cut off as he lunged and grabbed Mr. 13. "GOTCHA!"

WHAP!

"SKREEE!" Miss Friday let out a loud shriek as she shot forward and slammed into Sabo and swiped his top hat as he fell backwards and bowled over Luffy.

WHUMP!

Miss Friday circled around overhead with Sabo's hat clutched in her talons then swooped down low enough for Mr. 13 to leap up onto her back. Miss Friday flapped her wings and took off into the sky.

WHOOSH!

"HEY! GIMME BACK MY HAT!" Sabo yelled as he scrambled over to Bonnie Anne and aimed her at the vulture that had stolen his top hat. He shook his head and lowered his gun. "Ah hell, I can't shoot 'em… I'd sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like him."

"So…" Zoro prompted, "Were you guys actually trying to recruit that monkey… or was that all a desperate hair-brained scheme to try and steal the sketches back?"

"Um… yes," Sabo lied, "That was my plan all along. Nami was having a nervous breakdown so I tried to solve the problem by getting the sketches back."

"But Sabo… you grabbed the otter… not the sketches," Luffy pointed out.

"Shut it!" Sabo hissed at his loud-mouth brother, "They didn't know that until you blurted it out."

"Either way your plan failed," Zoro chided him, "And the turkey stole your hat."

"Well if you're so smart why don't you come up with a plan then," Sabo retorted.

"Idiots… they're all idiots…" Nami complained. But only Vivi was close enough to hear the hint of fondness in her voice or see that her eyes had dried and that the corners of her mouth had quirked upward in the barest hint of a smile. For that one moment she had forgotten about the impending assassination attempts and had found amusement in the natural comedy that came along with having three crazy morons for Nakama.

"HAVE NO FEAR! HELP HAS ARRIVED!"

The Straw Hats and Vivi all turned to see Igaram. But his outfit had drastically changed from the fancy suit they'd seen him in last. He was wearing lipstick and a blue wig braided in a ponytail. His clothes consisted of a dress and a blouse with a spiral pattern sloppily painted over his large stomach and padded 'breasts'. In short, the Captain of the Royal Guard had done a shoddy job at crossdressing as Princess Vivi. He also had four dummies tucked under his arms.

"Well… that's something I can never unsee," Sabo remarked as he stared wide-eyed at 'Igaram'.

"Whoa! That outfit looks really great, mister!" Luffy praised the crossdresser.

"On who?" a disturbed Zoro wondered.

"I'm surrounded by idiots…" Nami complained.

---

Igaram revealed his plan which was for him to take the Eternal Pose and sail straight to Alabasta as a decoy for the Princess and the four Straw Hats that Baroque Works had identified. He intended to lure Baroque Works off their trail while Vivi sailed with the Straw Hats and took the less direct island-hopping route. Eventually, even Sabo was convinced to go along with the plan.

The four Straw Hats, Vivi and Igaram had gathered on the far shore of Whiskey Peak on the other side of the Cactus Rocks. Igaram had loaded the decoy Straw Hat dummies onto the boat that Vivi had originally been intending to escape on with Carue.

Speaking of Carue…

"Why am I stuck carrying his guy?" Zoro complained as he looked over his shoulder at the huge horse-sized duck strapped to his back.

"Because the ostrich is injured and I'm carrying Bonnie," Sabo replied as he motioned backwards to the rifle that he had strapped his own back.

"That's a cop out and you know it!" Zoro protested.

Meanwhile, Vivi was saying her final goodbyes to Igaram. The Captain of the Royal Guard shook hands with the Princess.

"The journey ahead of you may be dangerous," Igaram warned her, "So please be careful.

"You too, igaram," Vivi replied.

"Farewell Princess," Igaram said, "I have complete confidence that you'll be able to save our kingdom. Take care and may we meet again in our homeland."

Igaram boarded the boat and sailed off as the decoy.

"Aw, he left," Luffy noted, "That guy was funny until the very end."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Vivi said, "He's always been dependable."

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The horizon was lit up by a huge fiery explosion.

"HOLY COW!" Sabo exclaimed. "Um… nobody tell Sanji that I said that."

"THEY GOT HIM ALREADY?" Zoro yelped.

"HEY! I LIKED THAT GUY!" Luffy hollered at the horizon.

"…" Vivi stared silently at the massive fire that was burning on the horizon.

"Nami, is your compass-thing ready?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah… the Log's set…" the shaky Navigator answered.

"Then we've gotta get the hell outta here!" Sabo resolved, "Luffy, go grab Usopp and Sanji from the tavern. Zoro, Bonnie and I will hurry ahead to the Going Merry and get her set to sail. Nami…" Sabo trailed off and motioned to Vivi who was still staring in silent shock, "…get the Princess to the Merry."

Luffy, Sabo and Zoro all raced off and left Nami with Vivi.

"Vivi! We have to hurry!" Nami instructed, "if we don't escape now… then Igaram's sacrifice will have been for nothing."

"…" Vivi said nothing as she stared at the horizon struggling not to cry. She'd just seen the person that had taken care of her and looked out for her since she was a child die in a horrific explosion. She struggled not to break down and bit her lip so hard that it started to bleed.

Whup!

Nami pulled the Princess into a hug, "I'll be alright. I swear we'll get you to Alabasta. Those guys… they might not look like much but they saved the East Blue all by themselves. Even a Warlord won't stand a chance against them!

---

Eventually they all reunited on the Going Merry and set sail.

"Turn the ship around and head down the river!" Vivi instructed, once the sails were set and the anchor was raised, "That's the fastest way to reach the ocean."

"Hey, what happened to those two?" Nami asked as she looked over at Usopp and Sanji.

"I don't know," Luffy answered, "They were screaming and shouting on the way here. Maybe they went back to sleep?"

"Or… maybe they were knocked unconscious from the way you were dragging them," Sabo suggested.

"Nah, I don't think that's it," Luffy replied.

"So… how many enemies are going to be coming after us?" Zoro inquired.

"I can't say for sure," Vivi admitted, "Baroque Works has two thousand employees. There are more towns like Whiskey Peak that are filled with Millions. One of them is called Renaisse…"

"So you mean we could have a thousand people coming after us?" Nami asked as she held up her skirt with her hand.

"It's possible…" Vivi confessed, "Knowing the boss' secret is a very series crime. There's no telling how much effort they'll put in to keeping it quiet."

"Well… the sun's already starting to rise… it's almost morning…" Sabo pointed out, "Which means the only sleep was got was from when we were drugged." He shook his head, "I guess all those stories about the Grand Line being the big time were true."

"And all this fog is really dangerous," a woman observed, "You'll have to be careful not to crash the ship into the rocks by the shore."

The pirates and the princess all whirled around to see a dark haired woman sitting on the railing outside the galley. She wore a purple cowgirl hat, a matching laced up corset vest and skirt as well as a pair of purple high heeled boots.

"Hello," she casually greeted them, "This ship is nice."

"WHO'S THAT!?" Nami shrieked.

"I must tell you, Miss Wednesday," the mystery woman addressed the princess, "I met up with your friend Mr. 8 a little while ago."

"Does that mean… you…" Vivi stammered.

"HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING ON MY SHIP?" Luffy demanded.

"ANSWER HIM!" Vivi shouted, "What are you doing all the way out here, MISS ALL SUNDAY?"

"Wait… wait… you said that name before," Sabo realized as he tried to recall where.

"She's only the highest ranking agent is Baroque Works short of the boss!" Vivi exclaimed, "She's Mr. 0's partner and is the only one in the organization that knows his true identity. That's why Igaram and I followed her…"

"Well… technically I let you follow me," Miss All Sunday corrected her.

"So she's a good guy?" Luffy questioned.

"I know that!" Vivi snapped. "And I bet you're the one who told him that we knew."

"Oh… then she's a bad guy," Luffy decided.

"WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?" Vivi demanded.

"Now, now, there's no need to get so riled up," Miss All Sunday reassured her, "I only let you follow me because you looked so desperate. It was too amusing not allow it to play out. A single princess foolishly thinks that she can take on the entire organization of Baroque Works to save her kingdom."

"Take care and may we meet again in our homeland."

Vivi glared furiously at Igaram's murderer and yelled, "DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!"

Click!

At Vivi's shout, the Straw Hats were suddenly armed. Sabo had Bonnie Anne aimed at Miss All Sunday while Zoro drew a sword. Usopp and Sanji had woken up and were standing on the landing outside the galley on either side of the mysterious woman with a slingshot and a pistol aimed at her respectively. Nami glanced down at her skirt and decided to let the boys handle this.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Usopp asked.

"No," Sanji admitted, "But anyone that causes my dear Miss Wednesday distress will face my wrath."

"Hey! Sanji!" Sabo called out, "Since when do you use a pistol?"

"I bought it in Loguetown," Sanji answered. "Since you and your rifle were so successful on Commi Island is decided to get a gun of my own."

"Something tells me he's not talking about Sabo's success during the battle," Nami grumbled.

"Do you have any self-respect?" Zoro berated him, "You got a gun to pick up women?"

"Well… that was the plan…" Sanji admitted, "But now I've realized that my target is a beautiful woman… I don't know if I could ever bring myself to pull the trigger."

"I appreciate that," Miss All Sunday remarked, "But all the same… I would appreciate it more if you wouldn't point such dangerous weapons at me."

WHUP!

Usopp and Sanji were suddenly shoved by an invisible force and went flying over the railing.

KLAK-KLAK!

Wado Ichimonji and Bonnie Anne hit the ground. But the rifle fired on contact with the deck.

KER-CHOW!

Miss All Sunday's blue eyes widened when she felt the bullet whiz over her head and tear through the top of her cowgirl hat.

"Take that! Scary person!" Usopp exclaimed as he scrambled over to Sabo and hid behind him, "We've got a rifle!" He leaned down and whispered, "Nice going, Bonnie."

Sabo stood over Bonnie Anne with his arms crossed, "That was a warning shot. You get one. Now as much as I enjoy seeing the Princess agitated… why don't you tell us what you're doing on our ship?"

Miss All Sunday reached up and plucked her hat off of her head. She frowned as she eyed the large bullet hole going through the top. "That was rude. This was my favorite hat."

"Oh, my apologies," Sabo drawled, "I'll be sure to welcome you properly the next time you decide to stowaway on our ship! Answer the question, Baroque Works, what're you doing here?"

"Well… I was going to give you this," Miss All Sunday stated as she held out her hand.

Whap!

A glass ball dropped into it from overhead.

"This is the Eternal Pose to a vacant island right before Alabasta," Miss All Sunday explained. "It's uninhabited and our agents don't know about it. It's a much safer journey than the one you're on."

"Why would you give us that?" Nami wondered.

"I said I was going to give it to you," Miss All Sunday repeated, "After that rude reception… I've decided against it." Miss All Sunday placed the Eternal Pose in her ruined hat then spun and tossed them both off the side of the Going Merry. "Now you'll just have to try your luck on Little Garden."

"GOOD! KEEP YOUR THINGY!" Luffy told her, "WE DON'T NEED IT! YOU DON'T DECIDE OUR COURSE!"

"And that would make you the Captain Straw Hat Luffy," Miss All Sunday reasoned as she motioned to Luffy and then Sabo, "And you Quartermaster Sabo. I remember reading about you in yesterday's paper. The fact that you're siding with the Princess against our organization is a professional conflict. But I also have a personal grievance with you two."

"What did I miss?" Sanji wondered, "And what did you bastards do to that woman?"

"I dunno," Luffy replied, "We just met her. I think she's lying."

Snap!

Miss All Sunday snapped her fingers and Miss Friday suddenly flew in with Mr. 13 on her back and landed on the roof of the galley in front of Nami's tangerine patch. Mr. 13 was holding Sabo's top hat.

"You two attempted to turn my pets against our organization," Miss All Sunday scolded them. "I spent years training them to carry out their duties. I don't appreciate you trying to steal them."

"Did you see the Wanted Poster sketches that your otter did of us?" Sabo countered, "Why wouldn't we want him?"

Miss All Sunday looked back at the Unluckies and held out her hand. Mr. 13 pulled the sketches out from Sabo's top hat and tossed them to Miss All Sunday. "Oh, he really did make wanted posters for you."

"Yeah but they didn't include bounties," Luffy grumbled, "Rip-off."

"I'm afraid I never got around to teaching them math," Miss All Sunday admitted.

"Can you give us bounties?" Sabo requested.

"Bounties! Bounties!" Luffy cheered, "What's the point of being wanted if you're not worth something?"

"If anyone's qualified to place a bounty I think it would be the boss' partner…" Sabo pointed out.

"Are we really wasting our time with this?" Vivi objected.

"Quiet… they're distracting her," Zoro whispered. Vivi, Nami and Usopp all stared at him in surprise. "You saw what happened to the decoy. And we all saw how easily she disarmed us. I'd bet my life that she has Devil Fruit Powers of some kind. But we have no idea what they are so we have no way to stop her if she decides she wants to blow us up like she did with the crossdresser. Keep quiet and don't provoke her."

"I like this plan!" Usopp whimpered as he continued to hide behind Sabo. "Let's not provoke the scary lady with the mysterious powers."

"Oh look," Miss All Sunday pointed out as she turned one of the sketches around to show a number of doodles. "The Unluckies kept track of your activities tonight. If I use these I should be able to come up with a price for your heads."

"YEAAAAH!" Luffy cheered, "BOUNTY!"

"You're too loud," Miss All Sunday scolded him, "So now you're going last. Stand there and wait patiently or you won't get one."

Luffy visibly deflated and stood straight. But there was no hiding the giddy smile on his face.

"Wow… she handles Luffy better than you do," Usopp noted as he peered out from behind Sabo.

"She's treating him like a child," Sabo countered, "He's my brother so naturally I'm gonna try to look after him and keep him from doing anything overly dangerous and stupid. But when I let him run wild it's because I don't doubt for one second that he's the man who will become King of the Pirates."

Miss All Sunday raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Luffy who was still eagerly awaiting his bounty. She casually flipped over the first sketch and studied the doodles Mr. 13 had drawn of Miss Monday, Igaram and some crudely drawn bounty hunters and the word 'ALL' written next to them.

"Let's see, first we have 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro," Miss All Sunday announced as she turned the sketch over. Zoro's eyes widened at the fact that the mystery woman knew his full name. "You declined our initial invitation to join Baroque Works by killing our original Mr. 7. And tonight you defeated one hundred of our Millions along with Miss Monday and Mr. 8. I'll give you five million for each Frontier Agent and three million for the hundred Millions. That gives you a grand total of eighteen million berries." Miss All Sunday smiled and turned around the completed Baroque Works Wanted Poster.

WANTED DEAD: 'PIRATE HUNTER' RORONOA ZORO 18,000,000 BERRIES

"Not bad," Sanji remarked, "That's bigger than Don Krieg's."

"I'll take it," Zoro decided.

"Next… is Quartermaster Sabo…" Miss All Sunday continued, "Hmm… Do you have a preferred nickname I should use?"

"Dandy Man!" "Noble Pirate!" Nami and Zoro answered at the same time.

"You can call me anything you want if you give me my hat back," Sabo proposed.

"No, I believe I'll keep it," Miss All Sunday refused, "a hat for a hat."

"You lost your hat because your boarded our ship without permission," Sabo argued.

"You also tried to kidnap my otter," Miss All Sunday countered.

"Do know what he can do!" Sabo exclaimed, "Can you really blame me? He's awesome!" Sabo sighed then hung his head to look properly apologetic, "I'm sorry I tried to steal your otter… please forgive me. Plus, that hat doesn't even fit your style."

"I suppose you're right," Miss All Sunday conceded, "That'll do." She nodded to Mr. 13 who tossed the top hat back to Sabo who caught it, flipped it over his hand and put it back on. "Now then… Noble Pirate Sabo…"

Zoro smirked pointedly at Nami while Sabo grimaced but managed to hold his tongue.

"Tonight you defeated Mr. 9, Miss Wednesday and Miss Valentine," Miss All Sunday casually recounted, "That's five for each Frontier Agent and ten for an Officer Agent with Devil Fruit Powers. You also attempted to turn my pet, Mr. 13, against the organization. That'll count for another three million."

WANTED DEAD: 'NOBLE PIRATE' SABO 23,000,000 BERRIES

"HAH!" Sabo gloated to Zoro, "Whose plan failed now? Rifle beats swords!"

Miss All Sunday seemed amused by the competitive banter and quietly sighed to herself and her pets, "Boys, they're always comparing sizes and trying to see how much they measure up."

"HOLD ON!" Zoro objected, "I beat a hundred bounty hunters! How does sweet talking an ugly monkey count for the same amount?"

Miss All Sunday glared at him, "Did you miss the part where I said I taught him how to sketch? I spent an entire year training the Unluckies to be proper messengers. They're irreplaceable assets to our organization and I consider it a personal affront that he attempted to undermine all of my hard work. Now, you called my adorable pet 'an ugly monkey'… want me to lower your bounty to sixteen million?"

"No…" Zoro conceded. He folded his arms across his chest grumpily and had been suitably chastised.

"What happened to not drawing attention to yourself?" Nami reprimanded him. But that just drew the woman's attention to her.

"I'm sorry, dear," Miss All Sunday said as she held up the sketch that depicted a terrified Nami, "but I don't know your name."

"And you're not getting it!" Nami insisted, "I don't want a bounty! Tear that sketch up and I'll be happy!"

"That's not how this works," Miss All Sunday replied with a shake of her head, "Our organization wants you dead whether you like it or not. And if you don't tell me your name I'll just have to make one up. How does 'Kitty' sound to you?"

Luffy, who had been bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently waiting his turn, blurted out, "She's our Navigator, Nami! She used to be a pirate thief!"

"DON'T TELL HER THAT, YOU BLOCKHEAD!" Nami ran over and hit him over head.

BONK!

"Hmm… the only person you beat was your own Quartermaster," Miss All Sunday noted as she eyed the doodles on the back of Nami's 'poster', "But you did steal all the money our agents had collected… and you have very cute taste in underwear."

"THEY PUT THAT?" Nami shrieked and shook her fist angrily at Mr. 13, "PERVERT OTTER!"

"No…" Miss All Sunday calmly replied, "You lost your skirt when you hit your Captain over the head."

Almost everyone looked down to see that Nami's pale blue beri sign panties were once again on display.

SPLURT!

Usopp and Sanji were sent flying from sudden nosebleeds. Sabo and Zoro quickly averted their eyes while Vivi was still silently glaring daggers at Miss All Sunday. Luffy hadn't even looked down.

"NOT AGAIN!" Nami screamed and yanked her skirt up then clubbed Luffy over the head again.

BONK!

"What'd you hit him for?" Sabo asked.

"He was closest," Nami hissed still red in the face. "But there's a kick coming with Bonnie's name on it."

Miss All Sunday looked back at the Unluckies, "You're right. That temper of hers is very scary. I'll give you nine million berries… and that's being generous."

WANTED DEAD: 'CATBURGLAR' NAMI 9,000,000 BERRIES

"My turn! My turn!" Luffy chanted eagerly as he popped back up off of the deck.

"Yes, thank you for waiting," Miss All Sunday acknowledged him, "'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy. You're the Captain of the crew and beat all the big name pirates in the East Blue. That's good for ten million berries since this is a Baroque Works Wanted Poster and they have nothing to do with our organization. And tonight you beat Mr. 5."

"Who's Mr. 5?" Luffy asked.

"The guy you punched in the face," Sabo informed him.

"He was also a Devil Fruit Powered Officer Agent so that'll give you an additional ten million berries," Miss All Sunday continued, "Hmm… but that's only twenty million… a proper Captain should have the highest bounty on his crew…" Miss All Sunday stared down at Luffy curiously and crossed her arms over her chest then called out, "SEIS FLEUR!"

"WAH!" Luffy yelped in alarm as six arms suddenly sprouted out of nowhere. Two came out of the deck and grabbed his feet while four others grew out of Luffy himself and grabbed his shoulders and sides.

"CLUTCH!" The arms on Luffy's body wrenched backward with enough combined strength to break a normal man's back.

WOING!

But Luffy was made of rubber so his spine remained intact even when the arms bent him all the way back until his head was touching the deck.

Ploom!

There was a flutter of flower petals and the arms disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. Luffy dropped to the ground in surprise while everyone else stared in shock. The failed attack had been so sudden and that no one had any time to react. Not even Nami who had been right next to the Captain.

"Fufufu…" Miss All Sunday chuckled softly, "You have Devil Fruit Powers too… now that's interesting."

"Yeah," Luffy replied as he scrambled back up, "I ate the Gum Gum Fruit and became a Rubber Man. What about you?"

Miss All Sunday decided to humor him and answered, "I ate the Flower Flower Fruit when I was a girl. My powers allow me to sprout any part of my body anywhere at any time." She demonstrated her ability by holding up her arm an sprout other arms out of her elbow until they fanned all the way around it like flower petals.

"COOOOOL!" Luffy exclaimed.

"So that's how she disarmed us so easily," Zoro realized.

"Wow," Sabo remarked, "You must've had a lot of fun growing up with those powers."

"GET AWAY, MONSTER!"

"THAT GIRL'S A FREAK!"

Miss All Sunday sighed softly, "Not as much as you might think." She shook her head and changed the subject, "I'll give you another ten million berries for the Devil Fruit Powers. So that brings you to thirty million."

WANTED DEAD: 'STRAW HAT' MONKEY D. LUFFY 30,000,000 BERRIES

"AAAAWEEESOOOOMEEE!" Luffy cheered.

"That brings us to a grand total of eighty million berries for the pirates," Miss All Sunday concluded. "I'm sure Crocodile can afford it. And that's impressive enough to send a high-ranking Officer Agent after you."

"WAIT! HOLD ON!" Sanji protested, "What about me?"

"And me?" Usopp chimed in hopefully.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Miss All Sunday inquired.

"I'm Sanji: Ship's Cook Extraordainaire and lover of beautiful women like yourself."

"And I'm Usopp," Usopp added, "A Brave Warrior of the Sea!"

"Don't tell her that, you idiots!" Nami scolded them.

Miss All Sunday looked back at the Unluckies again but the otter and vulture merely shrugged.

"I'm sorry but my pets don't appear to have a record of you two doing anything tonight."

"What?" Sanji complained, "You gave those other three big bounties! You've gotta give me something!"

Miss All Sunday gave him a stern glare. "You have to earn a bounty and you two haven't. You fell for the Welcome Banquet trick and just woke up now on the ship. You completely missed any chance to fight and you were knocked out again by the sight of your Navigator's panties. So you get nothing. You lose. Good day, sirs."

Sanji and Usopp visibly sagged from the harsh dressing down, "She's as beautiful as she is cruel…"

"Geez… you can have mine if it means so much to you," Nami told them.

Sabo reached out and patted the depressed duo on the back, "Don't worry, that just means you guys are our trump cards. Any enemies that we encounter won't know what to expect when they face you. That'll give you guys a chance to beat them and earn Baroque Works Bounties for yourselves."

Usopp and Sanji perked back up, "YEAH! They'll never see me coming! I'm Usopp the Wild Card!"

"Wait for me, beautiful!" Sanji called out to Miss All Sunday, "You'll hear my name soon enough!"

Miss All Sunday smiled, "I'll keep my eyes and ears open then."

Skitch-skitch-scribble…

Mr. 13 tossed Miss All Sunday another sketch Wanted Poster. "Oh, thank you." This one included an angrily glaring Vivi. "We saved the best for last… Princess," Miss All Sunday announced. Everyone turned to look back at Vivi who had been silently glaring at Miss All Sunday since she started with the Baroque Works Bounties. "You infiltrated our organization, spied on us for three years, betrayed the organization and caused two Frontier Agents to defect while they defended you. During your traitorous tenure you learned Mr. 0's secret identity and then revealed it to these pirates. That puts you at the very top of our hit list."

WANTED DEAD: 'MISS WEDNESDAY' NEFERTARI VIVI 50,000,000 BERRIES

Being addressed directly finally made the Princess to break her silence, "IS THIS A JOKE TO ALL OF YOU? SHE KILLED IGARAM! SHE'S PART OF THE ORGANIZATION TRYING TO DESTROY MY COUNTRY!"

"Yes but she's also the reason you learned Mr. 0 true identity," Sabo pointed out, "And she gave us cool bounties… and unlike the other Baroque Works Agent on this ship who will remain nameless she hasn't tried to kill me despite the fact that Bonne used her last bullet ruining her favorite hat."

"The Princess does have a point though," Miss All Sunday admitted. "I am your enemy. I plan to distribute these to another pair of Officer Agents so that they can kill you. Maybe Mr. 3, he's always had a wonderful taste for dramatic flair when eliminating targets."

"You mean we can't keep them and put them on the fridge?" Sabo asked.

"I'll tell you what," Miss All Sunday offered, "If you beat our Officer Agents and manage to find these posters that they were using… you can do whatever you want with them."

"Great! Thanks!" Sabo replied.

Zoro looked over at Sabo, "You do realize that we could've done that anyway, right?"

"Yeah, but it's always polite to ask first," Sabo informed him.

"Well I've taken up enough of your time," Miss All Sunday decided, "I admire your optimism but you have a dangerous journey ahead of you. Your first stop is an island called Little Garden. There are disease carrying bugs, enormous animals and numerous other monsters that can kill you in a hundred different ways."

"EEEP!" Nami and Usopp both shrieked in terror while Luffy and Sabo stuck their fingers in their ears.

"HEY! No spoilers!" Sabo complained.

"Anyway, it's a lovely place…" Miss All Sunday continued, "But it's also very likely that you'll all die there. But if you're lucky… some of you will survive and make it to Alabasta. Maybe I'll see you then."

"We're calling it Arablasta 'cause it sounds cooler," Luffy told her. Vivi twitched in annoyance.

Mr. 13 hopped on Miss Friday's back and the vulture took off and flew away. Miss All Sunday stood up and calmly walked over to the railing then leapt over it onto the back of a turtle half the size of the Going Merry.

"Let's go, Bunchi!" Miss All Sunday called out to the turtle who swam off.

"WHOA! A TURTLE!" Luffy exclaimed as he and Usopp ran to the railing.

"Goodbye, Straw Hat Pirates," Miss All Sunday said with a final wave, "If you die I'll try to use your Wanted Posters for your obituaries."

Vivi dropped to her knees and signed, "I just wish I knew what her end game was…"

"Don't waste time worrying about it," Nami advised.

"We're used to scheming women around here," Zoro stated, "And at least we know about her powers."

"Aaah, there goes a mysterious woman," Sanji swooned once Bunchi was finally out of sight. Then the Ship's Cook turned to the others, "Now does someone want to tell me what the hell I missed?

---

Thank you, Robin! The Straw Hats now have bounties… well, Baroque Works Bounties at least. And yes, Robin quoted Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka. It's a little late for a tribute but I felt that it fit the scene. I wanted to have some extra fun with Robin's Brother on Board debut so that's how it turned out.

I fully believe that Robin was responsible for training the Unluckies. Do you honestly think that Crocodile would waste his time training an otter and a vulture? He had to keep up his public appearances as a Warlord. Nico Robin manages Crocodile's casino and had nothing but time on her many hands while she acted as his glorified secretary and waited for them to get closer to the Poneglyph. The 'direct orders' from the boss that the Unluckies relay could just as easily be from his partner/Vice President. Plus, Friday the 13th has an ominous connotation for being bad luck and that just screams 'Robin'.

The Brother on Board TV Tropes page has grown substantially since I mentioned it back in chapter 24. Thank you to everyone that has edited and added to the page since then. An extra thank you goes out to my buddy rasEnshur1Ken who added the 'Funny' page to it. Anyone with a TV Tropes account that laughed at some point while reading this story can feel free to add the moment that made them 'LOL'. This will actually be very useful to me because it'll help me gauge my audience's sense of humor.

By the way, I'm going to be taking a week off in between arcs. So I'll post the first Little Garden chapter on October 17th. I hope to see/hear from you all then!

Silver signing off