PART 1B SIX: Way of Life

Elle

Everyone lives in a certain way. Whether or not they realize this is different. For instance, there are different categories of wealthy people. There are the wealthy people who show off their money, the people who hide their money, the people who give away their money like it's nothing, the people who keep all their money to themselves, it goes on and on and on.

It's not completely about money – in fact, it rarely ever focuses on that one aspect. A person's life is compiled of several little factors meshed together. Money, family, job, personality, etc. Using my wealthy person example, said person could be a family man with a good job and is caring of the environment. Of course, a wealthy person could also be an old cat lady who inherited the money from her parents, but she is cruel and refuses to give any of her money to the public.

Different people live differently. It's that simple.

But it's not permanent if you don't want it to be. A homeless person could get his life back in order if he truly wanted to, just as a wealthy person could give away most of his money until he was part of the middle class. But it's more than money and a job. You have to be able to change your own personality, which is very near impossible. You have to work at it, over and over. It doesn't just change overnight.

I've tried to become more independent and confident, but the way I lived for most of my life – shy, insecure, more or less obedient – still controls most of my actions. It's not voluntary, most of the time. I have to fight myself to try to change how I live. Step one was learning how to fight with Jason. As soon as I start going out as a vigilante, I'm hoping that I'll change my way of life even further.

I don't want to be stuck a certain way forever.

Sunday, October 18

I hid in my room. I didn't even bother going for a run. I was so ashamed that I ignored Tim. I couldn't face him. And if he'd told Dick, then he'd probably told Alfred and Bruce. I didn't want to be interrogated at breakfast, so I didn't go. Alfred came up and knocked on my door, but I feigned sleep. It wasn't as if he could see that I was awake, and the door was locked.

I took my shower later than usual. There were bruises on my arms. Not too many. They hurt, though. I pretended it was just the water falling down my face, not tears. I wasn't crying. I wasn't going to cry because I'd made Nico mad, probably made Tim mad, too. Tim was upset last night, well, he was probably angry at me now that he'd had time to think.

I put on my clothes – including a sweater to hide the bruises; I didn't own any long-sleeve shirts – and curled up on my bed. I wanted to apologize to Tim, but that would mean I'd have to talk to him. Nico would find out and I didn't want him mad at me. I wasn't scared of Nico. I just wanted him to be proud of me, to be happy and sweet and nice like he'd been before.

"Elle, open up." I winced at Bruce's dark voice. He wasn't happy. The doorknob jiggled. "Elle, unlock this door. Now."

I didn't move. Maybe he would leave. Maybe he would give up. I just stayed sitting on my bed, knees drawn up to my chest.

"Elle, open this door, or I'll break it down," Bruce demanded.

I had a feeling he wasn't bluffing.

I crawled out of bed and unlocked the door. Bruce heard the lock click and opened the door himself. I didn't bother to stay standing. I went back to my bed and went back to my previous position. I didn't want to talk. I was ashamed. What must Bruce think of me?

I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater. All the more reason to hide the bruises. He would think I was weak and a coward. And then go after Nico. I couldn't let Nico get hurt. It wasn't his fault. It was mine.

"What's going on between you and Tim?" Bruce asked. I winced at the tone in his voice. There was no escape for me. I had to think of something to tell him. Something that was plausible.

"I'm just having a bad week," I said vaguely. Thinking about the bullying, it wasn't a lie. My mind flashed to Nico hitting me. No, stop, that was an accident!

"And you're taking it out on Tim," Bruce stated rather than questioned.

I felt my cheeks redden. "Sorry," I murmured into my knees.

Bruce put a hand on my shoulder. I flinched away. I froze immediately after doing so. Please, Bruce, don't look into that. Bruce removed his hand. Cautiously, I looked up at him. His expression was blank, but I was pretty sure he was confused. I hoped he wasn't analyzing me.

"Sorry," I whispered pathetically. "It's …" Think of something, think! "It's that time of month." Actually, that was last week, but still. "I'm having trouble controlling my emotions." Please buy it.

Luckily, Bruce was just like every other male on the planet when it came to girls and their menstrual cycles. His face reddened the slightest bit and his expression turned to one of awkward understanding.

"Oh. Okay." I giggled at seeing Bruce lost for words. He collected his thoughts and then tried again. "You should apologize to Tim."

I couldn't. I'd do my best to push it off. "I will later," I promised. I wished. I hoped. I hoped not. "I'm not feeling too good right now and I don't want to say something stupid." Too late, too late, too late.

Bruce nodded, seemingly accepting my answer. "Talk to him before the end of the day," he ordered. He was at the door when he called back, "Alfred saved you some breakfast. You should eat."

But then I'd have to leave my room, maybe cross paths with Tim. "Cramps," I pulled the excuse again. "I really can't eat anything right now."

Bruce left before I could say anything else. I chuckled to myself. Batman or not, Bruce was still uncomfortable when it came to 'female needs.' I closed and locked my door behind him, though, in case Tim decided to take the opportunity to get into my room.

I received a text from Nico. I released a breath, glad it wasn't Dick.

NICO: Late lunch? 3:00?

ELLE: Sounds like a plan.

NICO: Mel's Diner okay?

ELLE: It's perfect.

"Elle, will you please tell me what's wrong?"

I spun around. Tim stood next to my window. Angry at myself that I'd forgotten about the window, I glared at Tim. I had to make him hate me. I had to make him not want to talk to me. If he didn't want to talk to me, then ignoring him and pleasing Nico will be so much easier.

"Leave," I growled, ignoring the guilt. For Nico, I reminded myself. I wanted Nico to be happy again. I had to be the one to do it. And he told me to stop talking to Tim. I had to listen to him.

Tim took a couple of steps forward. I stood up, putting the bed between us. "What did I do?" Tim asked. I had to ignore the hurt on his face. I had to. For Nico.

"Nothing," I spat, frustrated. Why couldn't he just leave? Why did he have to make this so difficult?

My phone beeped in my hand. I looked at the text quickly.

NICO: Love you.

Tim watched me. "Who are you texting?" he asked.

"A friend," I replied as lightly as I could. Please, Tim, don't be all smart-detective-y right now. I wanted Nico and I to be a secret. I wanted Nico to be happy.

ELLE: Love you too :)

"You have friends?" Tim asked incredulously, watching me text.

"Is it really that surprising?" I snapped.

"I've never seen you with them," Tim said carefully.

"Because who I talk to isn't any of your business," I replied sharply.

"I just want to know what's going on," Tim said, frustrated.

"I'm going out," I said, not willing to listen any longer. I grabbed my purse and made for the door.

"Wait a minute," Tim said. He grabbed my shoulder. I whipped around and backed away a couple of steps, eyes wide. After realizing what I'd done, I wanted to smack myself. This was Tim. Tim wouldn't hurt me. But now he was watching my moves warily. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't tell what.

"Don't do that!" I exclaimed, trying to calm my racing heart.

"Why are you so jumpy?" Tim spoke slowly, carefully.

"I don't like being caught off guard," I said the first thing that came to mind. "Especially not since living in Gotham." Please buy it.

Tim nodded, but I could tell he didn't accept my excuse. "You've never done that before." His eyes narrowed. "Did something happen?"

"No," I said, perhaps a bit too quickly. "Just-just leave me alone." I hurried out the door and out of Wayne Manor.

I was starving, but I still had a few hours until it was time for my date with Nico. I spent my time in a couple of shops and the library. Anywhere I wasn't alone. At three, I met up with Nico, my stomach growling and my head light. I really should have eaten something.

We ate lunch and then went window-shopping. In other words, we just walked the streets of Gotham and pretended to find things in windows interesting. Although one particular necklace did catch my eye. I kept staring at it so that I wasn't paying attention where I was going. I tripped on something and nearly pushed Nico to the ground. Nico gripped my arms tightly.

"You're such a klutz," Nico sneered at me. I flinched. He pushed me to the ground. "Watch where you're going." No one seemed to notice what had happened. Or maybe they did and they agreed with Nico. It would make sense. I was too stupid to watch where I was going, after all.

"Sorry," I murmured.

Nico's hard expression softened. "No, I'm sorry, babe," he said, extending a hand towards me. I flinched and raised an arm up involuntarily in defense. Seeing he was just trying to help me up, I grabbed his hand and stood. Nico kissed me. "You just make me mad sometimes," he explained. I understood. Everyone gets mad at some point. "You just need to be more careful."

"I'll get better," I promised. We kissed again. Nico looked at the necklace I'd been eying. A few minutes later, he'd bought it for me and I was wearing it instead of my Batman one.

"I love you," he told me. I smiled and hugged him.

"I love you, too."

He dropped me off at the library, reminded me to not talk to Tim, then gave me a kiss goodbye. I walked up to Wayne Manor, pulling on my sweatshirt sleeves.

"Where have you been?" Bruce asked when he saw me.

"With friends," I replied. I left him alone. He didn't follow me.

"Elle, please just talk to me," Tim said, waiting in front of my bedroom door. How he'd known I'd returned was beyond me.

Remembering Nico's instructions not to speak to Tim, I pushed past him. Tim didn't let me slam the door in his face.

"You're acting different. It's not just me, either. What's going on?" Tim pleaded. I couldn't meet his eyes.

I didn't want to speak, in case I said something else stupid, so I went over to my bed and lied down. Tim tried for twenty more minutes to get me to talk, but when I refused to even look at him, he gave up and left.

DICK: What's going on?

I ignored my phone as soon as I saw it was Dick. I didn't want to do anything stupid. I didn't want to accidentally reveal I had a boyfriend. I had to make Nico happy. He was usually so sweet. I didn't need overprotective guys watching my every move, either.

DICK: Talk to me.

DICK: Did something happen?

Dick gave up after thirty minutes. I stayed in my room, not able to face anyone. I was hungry, but I could handle it.

NICO: Sorry about today.

ELLE: I forgive you.

NICO: Just try to be better, okay?

ELLE: Okay.

NICO: See you in class, babe.

ELLE: Love you.

Nico didn't reply.