A/N:
Season's greetings to everyone!
Surely tis' the season to be jolly and all, and I am together with you into looking forward through the holidays, the gifts, the laughters and the WINES! But more importantly, let us not forget the real meaning of Christmas.
And since I'll be working straight till the 24th[ I'm doing the graveyard shift, actually], and I'll be going home to my country for a ten day vacation, chapter updates will resume at the second week of 2017. But don't worry. Here is a special chapter for you guys; longer than the usual, full of feelings, angst and love, and one that will surely make you look forward for the upcoming chapters :)
So without further ado, here we go!
#
He hated running. For him, it was the most cowardly act one could do, and Gray Fullbuster hated it.
The first time he was made to ran was by his teacher, Ur. Up and down and down and up the snowy mountain that was literally inhabited by heavy snowstorms and blizzards little Gray ran, despite the freezing temperature biting his sorry ass. He could've easily save himself from the deadly punishment and admit that he was a snotty brat, but he knew the moment he gave in, Ur will not let him hear the end of it. And as snotty as he is, he will never give her the satisfaction she wanted, whether he freeze his ass with a stick of ice. Damn her.
Lyon was with him the second time he was made to ran. It was a stupid, brother rivalry of who could annihilate the biggest block of ice just below the summit of the mountain they learned to call home, only for them to cause a huge avalanche that came crashing towards them. Yes, the only option was to run, and they were allowed to run for only a few meters until all went dark and cold and they have to wait for their angry as a demon teacher to dug them out.
The third time Gray found himself running was after his teacher told him to. She was ready to cast Ice Shell, and he knew at that moment that he fucked up, big time. There was no way his teacher would get away with it. Alive. She will be encased with ice, together with the demon responsible for the death of his parents. And it was all his damn fault.
Everything was his damn fault. If he had just listened to his teacher, he would never have to do laps around the freaking freezing mountain Ur called their training ground. If he was just not stupid enough to insist that between the two of them, he is the better pupil, then they wouldn't have to cause an avalanche that almost buried the little town at the foot of the mountain, risking lives just because of a stupid, childish argument, and they wouldn't have to see their teacher cry as she hugged him and Lyon, sobbing and shaking in fear.
From that day on, Gray swore that he will never ran again. That he will face everything. Gray Fullbuster will never ran.
But he saw her. And he ran away.
He saw her, gaunt face, her complexion the color of earth, her smell, death. And the moment he saw her dry lips still smiling, he knew he had to get away from the scene. Because he needed to kill the tiny, awful feeling inside him, he needed to numb himself from the searing pain making its way inside his frozen heart. He needed to extinguish the fucking butterflies in his stomach. Goodriddance!
"Keep it going."
Maybe he was really drunk or sleepy or tired, or he just didn't care that he never bothered to listen to what the barman was telling him. He needed distraction. And for once, the drinks were doing their damn job, and he will give them an A+. Tipping his glass once again and draining the last drop, the ice mage sloppily turned his head from the corner where he slumped, and he looked around and found out that he knew no one in that blasted place. Hell, does he even know where in Fiore is he right now? 'Fuck, this is all your damn fault,' he hissed, resting his chin in his palm to support his heavy, beating head. 'You just won't leave me alone, won't you, Juvia?' A bitter smile escaped his sullen lips and he quickly downed the drink the barman put in front of him, looking at him with irritation.
"I said keep them drinks coming." He scowled, and fought the urge to slam his fist on his face. He was drunk, but he was not Natsu, that he was still sure of. He was not Natsu. He was Gray Fullbastard. And just a bastard he will always be. And because he was a bastard, many people died. Ur died. Ultear almost died. Juvia died.
He almost throw everything out when the image of the water mage appeared in his mind. Sweet, crazy Juvia with her 'Gray-sama' antics. He cursed, trying to even out his breathing that went haywire the moment he thought about her. 'Leave me alone.' He almost desperately said as he cradled his pounding head with one hand, the other fisting itself on top of the wooden table. Once, again, he knew he had to get away from that place, fast enough that her ghost wouldn't be able to follow him.
'Gray-sama.'
"Stop it, Juvia." He growled, pulling at his hair and swiping his free arm at the table, sending the empty glasses flying and crashing to the floor. "Just stop it,"
"Fuck off, bastard," one customer, thank Mavis he didn't see which one or esle, bellowed.
'Gray-sama.'
"Please stop, Juvia." He pleaded, eyes closed tightly, teeth gnashing each other, body shaking, sweating, as he pulled some jewels out of his worn coat and slammed them on the table, not caring if the amount was off or not. He tried to stand, his foot wobbled and he ended up falling in his face on the dirty wooden floor, which was followed by jeers and stupid laughters echoing through out the pub, but all Gray heard was her voice.
"Gray-sama.'
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" His eyes shot open, livid. Deadly. Black marks started appearing and crawling in his arm and torso, and as soon as his eyes settled themselves, the building's temperature suddenly began to decrease. "Shut the fuck up." In between heaves of breaths Gray picked up himself, glaring at anyone who got caught in his piercing gaze's range, daring them to make a move at him, his fist itching for a fight. His eyes darted to and forward, looking for a sign but he found nothing of the sort, but a building full of terrified looks. As though someone drenched him with freezng water, his mind snapped back to soberness as he tried to control the tremor coursing in his body. Guilt was eating him, and after three days since he fled from the graveyard, he seemed to gain back a little bit af his battered sanity. Fragments of his memories from the last seventy-two hours came crashing in his head; fleeing from the graveyard and numbing himself with alcohol until the owner with some burly mages for a guard had to drag him out of their establishment, how he slept in deserted, dark alley ways, how he tried to dull the pain on his second day by beating thugs after thugs and mages after mages that pissed his way, and how he ended up on that bar [Mavis knows he really didn't know how he did ended up on that bar] with nothing but a few jewels and his worn out, bloody coat. "Pathetic." He grudgingly snorted, thinking of his awful three days.
"Glad you realized it, Gray."
#
"How is he, Wendy?"
"Please tell me Lyon-san will be okay. He needs to be okay. Please,"
"I've done all I can. The rest is up to him. I'm so sorry. Chelia. Erza-san."
"Thank you, Wendy. Now Chelia, you also need to rest. You've also been throught a lot,"
"No. I need to be here when Lyon..."
"Chelia."
She knew she didn't mean to be harsh on her, that Erza only wanted her to take a rest as well. But the guilt that was swallowing her that time was far too big to let her allow herself a little time to rest, especially when she knew that hadn't word reached Fairy Tail in time and hadn't Wendy arrived quickly, Lyon Vastia would be dead.
"I was useless." Her voice broke. "I was useless. I couldn't do anything." She began to sobbed, quietly, and the moment Erza gathered her in her arms, her dam broke. "I was there. I was watching them. I was watching him die."
"Hush. It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself." Erza's voice was firm as her hand started rubbing the trembling girl's back. "Lyon is a fighter. He'll wake up soon, and when that time comes, he needs you to be there beside him. Come now,"
With a sniff as an answer, Erza led her outside Lyon's room, where they were met with the two dragon slayers; Natsu, upon seeing them, perked up from his perch while Gajeel just remained leaning on the wall in the corner, eyes glaring daggers on the poorly furnished floor.
"You all need to rest. Tomorrow, even if he doesn't gain consciousness, we will head back to Magnolia." She then left to take the girl to another room.
Her tone was with finality, and both knew that arguing would gain them nothing. Now that they have an unexpected twist of situation in hand. 'Shit,' he cursed inwardly, what transpired twenty fours hours ago replaying in his mind. The moment they saw the heavily injured body of one Lyon Vastia, all Natsu could think of was to look and beat the living shit out of the mage responsible for his friend's awful condition, until the one he so did not expect, even in a hundred years, appeared before them. And he realized right then that no matter how much he wanted to avenge Gray's brother, he could never do it. At that point, Natsu understood why Lyon Vastia, an S Class mage from Lamia Scale, was injured to death.
He was so caught up in his little bubble that he didn't notice the malicious aura emmiting from the other dragon slayer, who went inside the injured mage's room.
#
"Sober enough?"
Gray just scowled at him, throwing the used towel in his face, which he dodged so easily.
"You should stop being grumpy."
"And your master should stop meddling with people's business."
"Lucy never gave an order. I volunteered myself. And besides, when was the last time we bonded together? The S Class Examination? Man, that was ages ago."
"Listen, Loke," Gray started, trying to cool off his veins and his urge to strangle and kick the celestial spirit back into the astral plane. "I appreciate the concern and the effort, but can everyone just leave me alone?"
Gray watched him, eager for a positive reaction, that for once, someone would understand him in his need of space and peace. Knowing Loke, he would only be persistent with a girl, and he was, for once, thankful for his dedication to the opposite sex. Yes, they were, just like the pervy lion spirit had said earlier, partners during the S Class Examination, and even with the years that passed, his trust to the spirit didn't waver. Or juts began to waver when he flashed him an evil smirk.
"Stop that, it's eerie."
Flashing a much more disturbing one, Loke goofily approached him and slung an arm over his shoulder. "Nope, can't do that. And besides," he looked at the irritated ice mage with a silly grin, "you never told me to leave you when I had you bent over..."
"THE FUCK IS THAT, LOKE!" Gray roared, veins popping in his forehead, wrenching the mage's arm in the process, who was then guffawing in laughter. He would never, ever be a fan of innuendos, much more of this guy's.
"Hahahah.." Said mage was laughing with tears in his eyes, clutching his stomach and leaning his elbow in the sink for support.
"At least I'm making you happy. Now can you leave? Or I leave? Either way is fine." He said through gritted teeth. Loke was starting to pissed him off, but he knew he meant no harm.
"I was just trying to say 'when I had you bent over the toilet and throwing up'. Seriously Gray, you can't take a nice joke."
"Try me not when we're inside a stinking cubicle." Gray deadpanned.
"I never heard you complaining when we're at it."
"Fuck. Will you stop that? You should know my fists are itching for three days straight." His patience was thinning out, and as though the celestial spirit had sensed it, his face turned into a serious one.
"I need to take you back to Fairy tail."
"And if I said no?" Yes, he had no intention in going back. Yet.
"You will regret it." Loke cooly said, looking at him through his glasses.
"Regret?" Gray spat the word, and it burned his tongue. "What's there to regret?" He answered the spirit's gaze with a vicious one.
"Yeah. What's there to lose, Gray?"
#
Whe they were training under Ur, they would always argue on who is the better pupil. Of course, being the first pupil and the older one, Lyon would boast, much to the annoyance of the younger, raven haired boy. They would bicker and compete in even the silliest of things, as to who could wear their socks faster, who could stole their teacher's clothes while she was taking a shower (which they realized was a great mistake as their teacher seemed to have no problem in walking around the snow in her birthday suit), and who could strip in the most fashionable way. The petty, childish competitions turned to sibling rivalry, and as times passed, Gray realized he hated him. He hated Lyon.
He hated him because everything seemed to be handed to him in a silver platter, while he had to endure failures, hardships, pain and suffering for everything he wished for. And for that everything not just a simple consequence was demanded. He would lose someone dear to him.
He envied him. They were talented in their own ways, but with every little step he took forward, it seemed his adopted brother would leap a feat steps ahead of him. He was always ahead of him. And it seemed like he would always be the little brother admiring his big brother from the side.
Many years had passed since they crossed each other's path, and as time unfolds, the fierce rivalry he felt for Lyon somewhat turned to just plain sibling rivalry, when both were just trying to get in each other's nerve, not like the past where they would literally try to bite each other's heads off. And it was then that he realized that the competition was only in his head. And as he realized it, he swore to himself that he will try to be a better, if not, then not so much of a bastard for a brother.
He had decided that when they meet each other again, he would apologize for all the shitty things he did, and he was not expecting to see his adoptive brother in such a state two mornings after he arrived in the guild.
"What the hell happened?" It was all he could say as he watched a semi-conscious Lyon, covered in blood stained bandages, lying in a stretcher being carried by Natsu and Gajeel, who only looked at him for a while, then continued walking up toward the infirmary on the second floor. He was about to follow them, in need to get an answer when an arm held him at bay. It was Erza.
"Follow me, Gray."
He was pissed because he felt that he was being left behind, but who could he blame? When he was the one who isolated himself, who left on his own accord, and refused to have a friend by his side? No, as much as he liked, there was no one to blame but himself.
"Gray,"
"Oh, yeah," he all but answered. He then saw that Nab had closed and locked all windows and Freed and Levy was putting a sealing rune on each and everyone of them, and an unwanted sensation began settling in the pit of his stomach. Just like that night.
Shit. It was just like that night. It was just like that night, he mentally slapped himself. How could he let himself be fooled? It was just that night, when he let himself hoped and believed, only to be slapped in the face by the truth that the dead never comes back life. He is an ice mage, but at that time, he felt a sudden chill from his feet crawling up to his body, and all he wanted was to disappear from the surface of the guild. Move, dammit, he desperately hissed, willing his feet to take a step, but he miserably failed. This is not happening, this is not happening...
'Gray-sama.'
This is not happening, this is not happening...
A sudden tap on the back brought his clouded vision into focus as he started to make out Loke's form beside him, looking at him with a worried face. "You okay? You're pale."
"I'm...I'm fine, really," he almost choked at his words when he felt the bile in his throat. He wiped the sweat on his brow with his sleeve and sighed.
"Listen, Gray," Loke rounded in front of him, and Gray could tell that the lion spirit meant business. "No matter what happens, no matter what you hear, stay. We need you to hear everything they needed to say. Is that clear?"
In a normal situation, Gray would've been offended in Loke's treating of him like a four year old, but because at that time, not much had made sense to him, so he ended up nodding in agreement.
"I don't need you to nod. I need you to swear..."
"What the hell, Loke..."
"Gray," Loke was boring holes in him. "Remember what I told you before? So I need you to trust me in this. Swear." He hastily said.
"I need to take you back to Fairy tail."
"And if I said no?" Yes, he had no intention in going back. Yet.
"You will regret it." Loke cooly said, looking at him through his glasses.
"Regret?" Gray spat the word, and it burned his tongue. "What's there to regret?" He answered the spirit's gaze with a vicious one.
"Yeah. What's there to lose, Gray?"
Understanding nothing but that they were in a dire situation, he muttered a silent 'okay' and with just that, the pervy, playful lion was back.
"Good, now follow me. Lucy and the other's are waiting."
He really doesn't understand anything, and the sensation in the pit of his stomach was getting worse with every painful minute that passed. They were the only people left inside the building, and he was about to ask the celestial spirit when he noticed that the latter had opened the door leading to the place where Fairy Tail's greatest magis was once kept.
"Welcome to the cradle of Lumen Histoire,"