BROTHER ON BOARD
PippinSqueaks - I'm glad you liked it. It's a personal favorite of mine. I've had most of it written in my head since the Straw Hats entered the Grand Line.
The Patient One - Thanks for helping me out with this chapter. The snowbirds were just to hammer in that Wapol is a remorseless jerk who doesn't care about anybody. Everything in Sabo's Munch Munch Fruit stomach is digested in around 24-hours. But if Bonnie is Sabo's arm then she's not in Sabo's stomach is she? I think the parts that Sabo/Wapol use for their normal appearance don't get digested because they're currently part of their body.
Babyuknowme13 - Pirate 101 is fun. But I'm keeping the worlds separate for now with the exception of my favorite dimensional traveling fox.
UnderTakerxXxMadnesS - Just making sure that was clear. I still don't fully understand how Luffy's 'voices' ability works but I thought I did a decent job in showing it manifesting during his training years.
TheVampireDragon - The Munch Munch Fruit will hopefully allow me to be extra creative with Sabo's usage of the powers - besides having Bonnie as Sabo's left arm, of course. Bonnie's a little cautious so she won't pop out unless she knows someone is trustworthy which you'll see that this chapter. You don't have to worry about the Pirate 101 thing. I'm just including Bonnie Anne from the world. She'll make occasional references to it but knowledge of that game is not essential to continue reading this story.
Guest - Well... never say never. I'm sure Franky and Sabo come up with a substitute.
avatoa - Yup. Bonnie Anne's awesome. I'm glad you're so accepting of their bizarre inter-species relationship.
TheREALMightyKamina - Bonnie can only physically interact with her rifle so no ghost punch. Now I believe someone promised me their first born child if Sabo stumbled upon a Holy Hand Grenade. I'm in need of a baby to cover my end of a deal that I made with Rumpelstiltskin so fork it over!
The Keeper of Worlds - I wasn't actually going to admit that and spoil the surprise, now was I? I actually had an idea for Nojiko's hair ribbon where it was going to show up on ghost-Bonnie's arm as the only thing that wasn't blue. But I forgot to include it. And I'm not going to go George Lucas and change things that are done so that's a lost opportunity. The ribbon is still on the rifle. I made a point to have Nami mention it in this chapter. Also, thanks for reading and reviewing Gunshots!
Fairy of the Friz - Ace is next chapter. And the first encounter between Ace and rifle-Bonnie is going to be the second chapter of Brother on Board: Gunshots. I plan to keep ASL together longer than in canon.
Lightsbane1905 - Thanks. I've been striving to make this fic match the tone of the original series. Glad to know my changes are fitting properly.
Narya Anima - If you do end up making fan art let me know where you post it. I can't draw to save my life so unfortunately that's something I can't do for this story. It's gonna be a while before Ace actually meets the real Bonnie. But in the meantime, the second chapter of Brother on Board: Gunshots will be Bonnie's first encounter with Ace. Spoiler alert: It doesn't go well!
Dr. Zenkai - Get out of my head! You're spoiling the story for yourself! The Pirate 101 aspects won't be a large part of this story. The short version is that Bonnie was thrown through an inter-dimensional portal by a mad scientist but because it wasn't constructed properly her body couldn't make it all the way through and she wound up trapped in the rifle. I've posted the first chapter of Gunshots which has a more in-depth version of how Bonnie got to the One Piece world. But it also includes a lot more of Bonnie's Pirate 101 backstory. (I fixed the 'panty' bit. Thanks for pointing it out.)
Johnny Spectre - You'll learn in this chapter that Sabo's stomach-situation is an entity all of its own.
Bluejay Blaze - Ker-shishishi! Wapol go boom! There are a large number of anime's that I haven't seen. But whenever I try to start a new one I end up getting distracted and other things (like this story) fall through the cracks.
King-Dorado - That electro-bullets were actually a hint that Bonnie came from the Spiral. Pirate 101 is a family friendly game they don't have actual bullets there. Instead, the guns are 'spark throwers' which more-or-less taze people instead of blowing bloody holes in them.
kid - Thanks! It's probably my favorite too. It included a major change to Sabo and the One Piece World. And fully revealed Bonnie. I'm really proud of it.
TexasBean - I'm glad your a fan of the Strangest Couple Ever. I'm having fun with my tweaks in the series.
Miqila - Nope, she's okay! From what I've heard so far I managed to save Bonnie in true One Piece fashion. I also figured I needed some humor after putting everyone through the emotional gauntlet with the goodbye scene so I did my best to up the comedy after Sabo saved Bonnie. Sabo accepted Bonnie-the-rifle so easily because she landed consecutive kill-shots on Luffy. Random guns don't have the kind of accuracy. The scene where Ace stuffs Bonnie in a box is going to be chapter 2 of my Gunshots story. I'll be posting that next week. Remember, Bonnie only had three bullets when she first started firing at Luffy. Wanna take a guess who got shot with the other three? I WISH I could draw. Try to picture bolts like the ones around Wapol's mouth around the top of Sabo's hat and his shoulders. His coat now looks like blue metal armor and his forearm is a rifle.
Rikaeus - Good playing with you on Pirate 101. I managed to finish the Monquista storyline and now I'm about to head to Valencia for the first time. There's a long way to go between Drum Kingdom and Big Mom's tea party. It will be safe to assume that Bonnie won't be in the same state when they get to that point.
demonlvr - I've been toying with the idea of Kuina's spirit being inside Wado Ichimonji since that sword is her legacy that Zoro is carrying on in her name. And since Bonnie's a ghost she's the only one that can see her. What do you think?
luvBonnieAnne - I'm glad you decided to give this chapter a shot and I'm glad you liked my version of the Drum Kingdom Arc so much. I'd like to think that I made full use of what was more or less a side arc in the original so I could develop my Sabo and his strange relationship. As usual, you got all my references. Yes, those were P101 Spark Thrower rounds. And I'd also like to thank you for reading the first chapter of Gunshots
Guest - Yup. Bonnie Anne is Bonnie Anne. SURPRISE!
OrangeFrito - I don't have a problem with cats... but none of the Cat characters from Pirate 101 spoke to me so strongly that I decided to interject them into another world so I could play around with their character. Hopefully you'll still enjoy Sabo the Furry and Bonnie the Fox.
animefan29 - Thanks! It looks like my original brand of madness matches up pretty well with One Piece canon.
deant33 - Unfortunately, Sabo and Koala didn't have the years training together under Dragon to bring them close enough to become a potential couple. The fact that they've only met for fifteen minutes in Loguetown and Sabo's girlfriend is currently living inside him should probably tell you that there's not much of a chance in that particular ship sailing.
The Inkasters - Great to hear from you again! I'm glad you think my chapter matched the tone of the series so well. But I couldn't actually kill Bonnie. Some readers have gotten surprisingly attached to that rifle. I already had a lynch mob threatening me just for teasing her death. While this story has been primarily focusing on the comedic and creative aspects on One Piece... I'm happy to know that my first foray into writing serious One Piece drama was a success.
BOB
Bon Clay-
The Straw Hats left Drum Kingdom behind as they followed the Eternal Pose to Alabasta. Their mission on the kingdom of snow had been completed a day ago and now their navigator's illness was long gone and would no longer be a problem thanks to their new ship's doctor.
"Hey Usopp…" the doctor in question called out as he made his way over to the master gunner as he and their Artist shared some rice crackers on the deck. "Can you explain this 'brother' thing to me?"
"Sure," Usopp agreed.
"I'm still coming to terms with it myself…" Ayako mumbled.
"We're heading to Alabasta to meet Luffy and Sabo's brother… right?" the reindeer queried.
"That's one reason why we're heading there," Usopp said, "We're also going so Vivi can stop a war that's being caused by the criminal organization that Ayako and Miss Valentine were once in."
"I got that part…" Chopper told him, "I'm confused because Luffy and Sabo don't look alike at all…" The reindeer motioned to the lanky, dark haired rubber pirate sitting on the figurehead then pointed at his much taller, blonde-haired brother that was aiming his new arm off the side of the ship. "I don't think they're actually related…"
"They may not be blood related," Usopp admitted, "But that doesn't mean they're not brothers. Back before we met Ayako on Little Garden, Sabo and Vivi used to argue a lot. During one of their arguments Sabo mention that he hated that family he was born into and considers Luffy and Ace to be his real family… the family he found himself. The three of them shared a sake cup and swore to become brothers and that's all that matters to them."
"Family he found…" Chopper repeated mostly to himself as he thought back to his old herd who hadn't accepted him but the quack doctor who had and became his real father. "Okay… I think I understand. But then why do you call Sabo 'Sabro'? You didn't share a sake cup too, did you?"
"No, that's different," Usopp informed him. "I call him 'bro' because I look up to him. He's a distance fighter like me so I can relate to him better than Luffy, Zoro and Sanji. I still remember the first time we fought together. It was just the two of us defending my village from over two dozen vicious blood thirsty pirates. I pointed out how outnumbered we were… and do you know what he said? 'They should've brought more'. They charged us and he didn't back down. I followed his lead and together we took out all but one of them without getting a scratch on us. I'll never forget how brave I felt fighting beside him. I call him Sabro because he's a brave warrior of the sea and I just know that if I keep following his lead… I'll eventually be one too."
"You were really brave on Little Garden," Ayako pointed out. "I think you're on your way Usopp."
"I wanna be brave too…" Chopper confessed. He looked off to the side in time to see a familiar spectral fox pop out of Sabo's shoulder and tell him where to aim. "Someone you look up to…"
The same fox had shown him that it was possible for animals to live happily with humans. And he hadn't forgotten how brave she'd been in the face of her own death. She had been strong enough to say goodbye to everybody and even made sure to lead her mate to his new Devil Fruit so he'd be alright without her.
Chopper's face lit up with sudden inspiration. "BON-NEE!"
Usopp grinned, "Ooo, that's good!"
The master gunner, artist and doctor shared a look then shouted out at the odd couple by the railing. "SA-BRO! BON-NEE!"
Sabo blinked and turned around to face the three younger pirates.
"Do ye mind explainin' this 'nee' thing?" Bonnie requested.
"Well… 'nee' is short for 'oneesan' which means 'sister'," Sabo explained. "Sort of like how 'bro' is short for 'brother'."
"Aw, I'm flattered," the fox remarked, "Just as long as I'm not your sister. I can handle the fox-human interspecies bit an' I think we're both comin' t' terms with the ghost livin' inside ye part. But there is no way in hell I'm snoggin' my brother."
"Snogging?" Sabo repeated.
"It means prolonged kissin'," Bonnie stated. "Ye already look like ye're from Marleybone. I'm gonna teach ye some o' the vocabulary. But the point is, incest is a line that I'm not crossin'."
"Good to know one of you at least has some semblance of decency…"
Sabo and Bonnie looked up in time to see Zoro climb down from rigging. Bonnie shot Zoro a glare then sank back into Sabo and left the Quartermaster glaring after the Boatswain on his own as he made his way over to Usopp, Ayako and Chopper.
"It took a while but I've finished my inspection," he announced. "Even though there was a battle going on around it… the Going Merry doesn't have a scratch on it."
"YAY!" the three younger pirates cheered.
"And I think we have Ayako's brown paint to thank for that," Zoro continued. The Artist blushed faintly, unused to actually working and receiving praise for it. "I know you're our crew artist… but by my authority as this ship's Bosun… I'd like to offer you an official position as our new Ship Guard. Your job will be ensuring that the Going Merry stays safe while we're away from it. What do you say? Are you up for the extra responsibility?"
"Normally I'd automatically refuse any extra work…" the lazy artist admitted. "But if doing a little extra means that I can keep the Merry sailing… I'll do it."
"YEAH!" Usopp and Chopper cheered as they dragged Ayako and an extremely reluctant Zoro into a group hug.
"Now we can celebrate with more rice crackers!" Usopp exclaimed.
"Am I the only one that thinks it's weird to see him being active?" Sabo asked out loud. "He inspected the ship instead of taking a nap like usual. I didn't think he'd take the Bosun thing so seriously."
"It's not a bad idea though..." Bonnie supplied. "The kid's got talent but she's still only fourteen. If we know we're walkin' into a dangerous situation we can always leave 'er t' guard the ship."
"I suppose that works," Sabo reasoned as he turned back to the railing. "But back to shooting… I gave up my trigger fingers when I made your rifle my new arm. We're gonna have to work together at shooting."
Swish!
Bonnie's head and shoulders popped out of Sabo's shoulder. "Don't worry, hon. Ye just have t' point me in the right direction an' keep me loaded. I'll take care o' the rest. But I'd suggest bracin' the rifle with yer other arm. Ye have less leverage t' combat the rifle's recoil."
Sabo nodded then eyed Bonnie's 'blue' shoulders and how they were peaking out of the wide neck hole of her blouse. "Hey Bonnie... I noticed that you've been popping out of me fairly frequently and sometimes with a bit more than your head. What's that like? Is there a reason you can't get your whole body out?"
"Er... it's hard t' explain," Bonnie admitted. "But I'll give it a shot." Sabo smirked at the word 'shot'. "When I was dyin' an' became a full-bodied ghost for the first time... I was able t' phase through things. I retained that ability after ye ate my rifle. I told ye how my rifle was my anchor... well now since the rifle's part of yer body, yer whole body's my anchor. That's what allows me t' pop out from anywhere."
Bonnie sank back down into Sabo's shoulder.
Swish!
Bonnie's head popped out of Sabo's stomach. She grimaced and her neck, shoulders and arms slowly followed her head. "The problem is that I don't think I'm suppose t' be able t' separate meself from my anchor. It feels like... like I've got Luffy hanging off o' me tryin' t' hold me back. It's like rubber. The further out I get the stronger the force tryin' t' pull me back in becomes. I can only stretch my body out so far before I get pulled back in by the recoil."
"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Sabo asked. "I'll give you a hand. Grab the rifle."
Bonnie blinked as Sabo held his rifle arm out in front of him. The rifle was the only thing the fox spirit could physically interact with so she grabbed hold of it.
"Nghh..." Sabo and Bonnie both strained as the Munch Munch Man slowly began to pull more of his ghostly fox girlfriend's body out of his stomach. Slowly but surely Sabo manged to drag Bonnie's chest out of his stomach.
"Hey! Sabro's pulling Bon-nee out of him!" Usopp called out.
"GO SABRO!" Ayako and Chopper both cheered as they turned to watch the extremely odd couple.
Sabo lifted up his leg and braced it against the side of the ship for more leverage. Sabo strained and used his rifle arm to pull more and more of his girlfriend's body out of his stomach and up his body. Bonnie's stomach followed her chest but Sabo kept pulling until Bonnie's waist came out and the fox was eye level with him.
Bonnie gave an uncomfortable wiggle then smiled as her 'blue' tail swung out from Sabo's stomach and wrapped around er side. "That's much better."
"I don't think I can pull you out much further from this angle," Sabo confessed. He was actually beginning to feel the resistance pulling back on Bonnie.
"Don't worry, Sabo," Bonnie reassured him. "This is already amazin' progress." She pushed her rifle forward and the horizontal side of the barrel jammed against Sabo's big mouth. Bonnie leaned in and planted a kiss on the opposite side of the barrel from her boyfriend's lips.
Sabo blinked in surprise and Bonnie let go of the rifle. The ghost fox when shooting back into Sabo's stomach like a recoiling Luffy. Sabo was thrown off balance by no longer having something to pull against and toppled over onto his back.
THUD!
"Heh... we'll keep working on that..." Sabo resolved as he laid flat on the deck while Usopp, Ayako and Chopper all cheered and applauded. Zoro stood nearby and shook his head at the absurdity of the situation.
Nami and Vivi were standing together outside the galley. Sabo's experiment with his ghostly girlfriend had drawn their attention.
Nami rolled her eyes. "Strangest. Couple. Ever."
"Hypothetically speaking… do you think there's a chance that Sabo would ever be interested in a normal, human girl?" Vivi inquired.
The pirate looked over at the princess. "When I first met Sabo I tried flirting with him… he forced me away at gunpoint and said his girlfriend didn't appreciate my advances. I later learned that his girlfriend was his rifle. At that point I figured he was just crazy and that he wasn't attracted to women at all." Nami shook her head and shivered. "But that changed when he screwed my sister."
"Wh-what!?" Vivi sputtered. "But… what about Bonnie?"
"Are you kidding?" Nami replied. "I'm pretty sure it was the riflegeist's idea. Do you see that red ribbon tied around the rifle's barrel? That was hers. I don't like to think about how close the three of them may have gotten… but I'm under the impression that Nojiko was a special case."
"Oh…" Vivi said as she watched Sabo pull himself up and trudge back over to the railing.
"Although…" Nami added as a smirk spread across her face. "You may be pleased to learn that Nojiko is calm, patient… and has blue hair. So maybe he has a type?"
Vivi's face went red, "I wasn't… I'm not… I was just curious! I said hypothetically!"
Nami was distracted from teasing Vivi when Sanji emerged from the galley with a tray of drinks.
"Ladies, can I interest you in an afternoon drink?" the cook offered. "We've been having a lot of chocolate lately so I decided it was time for something healthier. I decided to use our fruit before it goes bad and made you ladies smoothies." Sanji used his free hand to serve an elaborate fruit smoothie with a straw to both women.
"Mmmmm! This is great Sanji!" Nami exclaimed after taking a sip. "Great job!"
"I am so pleased to hear you say that!" Sanji gushed. "And Vivi, Princess, how do you like yours?"
"It's very good Sanji," Vivi replied, "It's rare for me to have a cool, refreshing drink like this."
"As long as we have fruit in stock, I can make those for you whenever you want," Sanji assured her. "Enjoy ladies. Now I need to hand out drinks to the others."
The Ship's Cook headed down the stairs and stopped briefly to give Carue a small barrel with a straw sticking out of it then made his way over to the group consisting of Zoro, Usopp, Ayako and Chopper.
"Alright, gang, I've got drinks," Sanji addressed them, "Ladies first, Little Miss Ayako, this is for you…" The cook presented the artist with a fancy smoothie that had whipcream and a cherry on top. "And these are for you two…" Usopp and Chopper were given much less fancy smoothies. "I've also got bendy straws for you three…" The cook stuck a straw into each of the three smoothies. "Enjoy!"
"Wow! Thanks Sanji!" the young trio gushed.
"Whoever finishes last has to clean the dishes!" Usopp called out. The three immediately began slurping down their smoothies.
Sanji turned to Zoro and stuffed a rum bottle into his hand, "I realize that you wouldn't appreciate the effort I put into making a smoothie so I got you booze."
"Whatever," Zoro grunted, "I didn't need anything special."
"Yay! I win!" Ayako exclaimed as she finished off her smoothie. "No extra work! GAAH! Brain freeze!"
"In that case, you can give this soup to your uncle," Sanji offered as he gave the artist a steaming bowl which had previously been surrounded by smoothie glasses.
"Thanks Sanji!" Ayako chirped.
"Oh yeah, what happened with that guy?" Zoro wondered as Ayako headed for the anchor room. "He wasn't down in the men's quarters."
"He caught a cold from being left alone on the ship," Chopper stopped drinking to report. "Ayako and I moved him to the anchor room so no one catches it."
"HAH! DONE!" Usopp crowed. "You lose Chopper! That's what you get for taking your eye off the prize!"
"Aaawww…" Chopper groaned.
"Don't break any of the dishes, new guy," Sanji instructed as he turned and headed to Sabo with the two remaining smoothies. "Oi, this is for you."
Sabo turned and took the offered glass with his good and then stared down at the fancy smoothie in surprise. "This looks like something you'd serve Nami or Vivi…"
"Your new situation has my chivalrous nature in a conundrum," Sanji explained. "One of my biggest regrets when we nearly lost Bonnie Anne was that I hadn't been able to dote on her properly. So in order to rectify that… as long as she's living inside you, I'll just have to pamper her through you."
Swish!
Bonnie's head popped out of the front of Sabo's top hat. "Would that actually work? My senses are all tied t' the rifle… I haven't tasted anything but gunpowder in years."
"But now you're tied to me too," Sabo pointed out. "Have you tasted any of the other stuff I've eaten?"
Bonnie shook her head. "Ye've been eatin' really weird stuff. I haven't thought about tryin'."
"Only one way to find out," Sanji advised. "Drink up."
Bonnie closed her eyes and screwed up her face in deep concentration as Sabo sipped the smoothie. "Mmmm… I'm gettin'... fruit…" Bonnie reported. "Oh… that's good… reminds me o' the Yum I used t' drink back home… but there's no minty aftertaste." Bonnie opened her eyes and smiled at the cook. "Thanks Sanji! Ye've outdone yerself!"
"Of course Bonnie-channe, I live to serve."
Bonnie blinked and repeated what she'd heard. "Chan?"
"I base my nicknames for women off of the classic honorifics," the love cook explained. "I call Nami 'Nami-swan' because she reminds me of a beautiful swan but also because of the classic 'san' which in her case means 'Miss'. I prefer to call Vivi 'Princess' but I could also refer to her as 'Vivi-hime' which means the same thing. I can switch between calling Ayako 'Little Miss Ayako' and 'Ayako-chan' because they're more-or-less the same. For your personalized Sanji Nickname I've decided to fuse your name 'Anne' with the classic 'chan'... and so now you're 'Bonnie-channe'."
"First Bon-nee... now Bonnie-channe…" Bonnie recounted, "All these nicknames make me feel like I'm in Mooshu." Bonnie smirked, "I suppose I should return the favor an' take over for Miss Valentine by callin' ye 'Mr. Prince'."
Sanji blinked then smiled, "By all means," he encouraged her. "Now if you'll excuse me… I've got to get this last one to the Captain."
Sanji walked off and Sabo casually sat down against the railing. "You know… Sanji's got a nickname for you… Usopp, Ayako and Chopper all have a nickname for you… Nami's got a number of unpleasant nicknames for you… I'm starting to feel a little left out."
Bonnie sighed to herself the pushed herself further out from Sabo's top hat and hung upside down passed the brim so she was looking her boyfriend in the eye. "If it really means that much t' ye… You an' only you… can call me 'Annie'." With that, the fox slipped back into Sabo.
Sabo had a thoughtful look on his face as he idly sipped his smoothie. "Annie, huh? I seem to remember you giving Luffy a lot of grief the one time he called you that."
"I didn't know ye then… Now I do…"
"Feel like sharing the story behind that?" Sabo inquired.
"Sure… why not…"
[JS AN: See Brother on Board: Gunshots - Chapter 1 for the story behind Bonnie Anne's real name.]
Sanji had finally made it up to the front deck with his last smoothie. "Oi Luffy, I've got a drink for you. I'm surprised you held still so long while I handed the rest out to the others."
"..." Luffy continued to stare silently off the front of the ship.
"Oi! Yours has extra bananas in it!" Sanji called out. "What's with you?"
"There's a dot flying towards us," Luffy stated.
"A dot?" Sanji repeated as he squinted in the direction that Luffy was looking. He was eventually able to make out a speck on the horizon. "Oh… so there is. Any idea what it could be?"
"Feels familiar," Luffy admitted as he reached back and snagged his smoothie off of Sanji's tray. He guzzled down his drink while they both waited for the speck to get closer. Eventually they made out a pair of wings on the speck and something riding on it's back.
"Oh, it's the turkey and the monkey!" Sanji realized.
Luffy beamed in sudden realization, "HEY GUYS! NEW BOUNTIES FROM BAROQUE WORKS!"
Sabo and Zoro shared a quick glance then raced for the front deck.
"YEAH! NEW BOUNTIES!" Usopp cheered. "I'll probably have one this time!"
"What's a bounty?" Chopper asked as he followed Usopp.
"I sign that you're a tough pirate," Usopp answered. He stopped and knocked on the anchor room door. "Come on Ayako! They most likely gave you one too!"
"Coming!" the artist replied as she followed her two friends up to the front deck.
"Here we go again," Nami grumbled as she and Vivi went after the others at a less enthusiastic pace.
BOB
The Unluckies eventually landed inside the ring that the Straw Hats had made on the front deck.
Sanji presented the otter and the vulture each with a smoothie, "Here, hopefully these will make up for what happened last time." True to form, Mr. 13's smoothie was rather simple while Miss Friday's was much fancier.
"I'm still suspicious about Miss All Sunday's motivations," Vivi insisted.
"Ca-caw!" Miss Friday stated.
"Um… she says they're none of your business," Chopper translated sheepishly.
The Unluckies turned to glance at Chopper while Vivi blustered.
"Hold on… does Crocodile know that we're still alive?" Nami demanded.
Mr. 13 shook his head.
"Caw-caw. Craaw!" Miss Friday supplied.
"She says Mr. 0 sent Mr. 2 to assassinate Mr. 3 because he didn't like his attitude during their snail call."
Ayako glanced over at Sanji, "What did you say on this snail call?"
"I had no idea who was calling at the time," Sanji confessed, "And then those two attacked me while I was in the middle of it. I told Mr. 0 that the Straw Hats hadn't been completely dead but that I'd fixed it. But he wasn't happy."
"At least we've got him with us," Usopp reasoned, "We just have to keep our eyes peeled for Mr. 2."
Sabo looked over at Vivi, "She didn't tell Mr 0 that we're alive… and like it or not she's also the reason you learned his identity. We don't know why she joined the organization in the first place and I doubt her pets will tell us. But it looks like she's trying to bring down Baroque Works from the inside."
Mr. 13 pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Sabo then he and his partner turned to their smoothies and started drinking.
"Alright… let's see…" Sabo resolved as he glanced at the stack of Wanted Posters. "First up… Luffy… you beat an Officer Agent with Devil Fruit Powers worth ten and made another one without powers turn traitor which was worth seven..."
WANTED DEAD: 'STRAW HAT' MONKEY D. LUFFY 47,000,000 BERRIES
"Hmm… it'll get bigger when we get to Alabasta and I beat up Crocodile," Luffy decided.
"Here's mine…" Sabo said, "I beat two Officer Agents with powers… that's ten a piece…"
WANTED DEAD: 'NOBLE PIRATE' SABO 43,000,000 BERRIES
"I'm catching up, little brother," Sabo noted. "Although… I wonder if she'd be willing to change my name to 'Steampunk' Sabo..."
"Quit wasting time," Zoro ordered, "What's mine?"
"Of the three of us… yours went up the most," Sabo remarked, "You beat me and I was worth twenty-three… but I think she's just humoring you since I'm not dead…"
WANTED DEAD: 'PIRATE HUNTER' RORONOA ZORO 41,000,000 BERRIES
"That's more like it," Zoro commented. "Now I should be able to beat yours when we get to Alabasta."
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Sabo retorted, "OH! Sanji… yours went up the most of anybody's. I guess she's taking you beating up her pets personally. They were both worth twenty…"
WANTED DEAD: 'LOVE COOK' SANJI 40,000,000 BERRIES
"Sorry about that you two," Sanji apologized, "But it looks like I've entered the game in a big way!"
"Did I get one this time?" Usopp asked.
"Ah… yup and so did Ayako," Sabo announced. "She got twenty for turning traitor and you got ten for melting the wax."
WANTED DEAD: 'ROGUE ARTIST' MISS GOLDENWEEK 20,000,000 BERRIES
WANTED DEAD: 'BRAVE WARRIOR' USOPP 10,000,000 BERRIES
"Aw… only ten…" Usopp complained. "That means I'm gonna have to actually fight an Officer Agent when we get to Alabasta..."
"And Nami, Vivi, yours stayed the same," Sabo added.
WANTED DEAD: 'CAT BURGLAR' NAMI 9,000,000 BERRIES
WANTED DEAD: 'MISS WEDNESDAY NEFERTARI VIVI 50,000,000 BERRIES
"Whatever," Nami grumbled. "I don't even want a bounty."
"Quack…" Carue let out a disappointed whine.
"He's upset at being overlooked," Chopper stated.
"It's okay Carue," Vivi reassured him, "You can share mine."
"Before our bounties totaled one hundred thirty million berries…" Sabo concluded, "But now that's doubled and our total is two hundred sixty million. Vivi's is still the biggest but four of us are within ten million berries of hers. Looks like it's gonna be open season on Officer Agents when we get to Alabasta."
"Caw-caw!" Miss Friday called out while Mr. 13 held out a final paper to Zoro.
"She says 'that's why the boss lady included this'..." Chopper translated.
A wide, shark-like predatory grin appeared on Zoro's face as he read the paper. "Well… if we needed any more proof that she wants to bring down Baroque Works from the inside… we just got it. She's put bounties on the heads of all the remaining Officer Agents."
MR. 0 - 50,000,000 BERRIES
MR. 1 - 40,000,000 BERRIES
MISS DOUBLE FINGER - 30,000,000 BERRIES
MR. 2 - 35,000,000 BERRIES
MR. 4 - 17,000,000 BERRIES
MISS MERRY CHRISTMAS - 20,000,000 BERRIES
"Looks like she's given us extra motivation for when we get to Alabasta," Sabo reasoned. "And if she's showing us this… that means our remaining enemies are likely to be waiting for us there."
"Would you mind bringing a smoothie to Miss All Sunday as a thank you?" Sanji asked the Unluckies.
"..." Mr. 13 silently stared at him for a moment… then nodded.
Sanji dashed off and returned less than a minute later with a small barrel filled with his fruity drink which he presented to the otter. "Fly fast to make sure the fruit doesn't go bad."
Mr. 13 took the barrel and hopped on Miss Friday's back then the Unluckies flew off towards Alabasta.
"I CALL DIBS ON MR. 1!" Zoro called out as soon as they were gone.
"What?" Sabo asked.
"You got to fight your King and Luffy's got a date with Crocodile," Zoro pointed out, "Well, I'm calling dibs on Mr. 1. He's got the biggest bounty of everyone else."
"Then I've got Mr. 2," Sanji quickly announced.
"You jerks… we're not even there yet," Sabo complained as he snatched the sheet from Zoro. "In that case… I'm gonna take down Mr. 4 and Miss Merry Christmas."
"You're really gonna fight them both alone?" Usopp asked.
Swish!
Bonnie popped out of Sabo's shoulder, "An' what makes ye think he'll be alone? He's got me!"
"Unless, of course, you would like to team up with us?" Sabo suggested. "Then maybe we'll both go up thirty-seven million."
"Uh… maybe…" Usopp answered noncommittally.
"Who am I supposed to fight?" Chopper questioned. "I wanna be a tough pirate with a bounty too!"
"Process of elimination leaves you with Miss Double Finger," Ayako informed him. "I've never met her but I've heard she's really strong. Good luck."
"Boys," Nami groused, "No one cares about your stupid dick measuring contest."
"SAYS THE ONE WITH THE SMALLEST DICK!" Luffy shouted.
Everyone froze and then as one turned to stare at their clueless Captain.
"What?" Luffy asked.
"Even I know why that's wrong…" the fourteen year old artist piped up.
"You know what…" a red-faced Nami said as she smirked and looked over at Sabo, "This sounds like a Sabo problem. Sabo, would you be so kind as to explain to Captain Dumbass why his last statement is one of the most moronic things he's ever said?"
"But I…" a pale Sabo protested.
"Yup! Totally a Sabo problem!" Zoro quickly agreed.
"Come on, everyone," Sanji called out, "I'll get started on dinner early."
The Straw Hats quickly left the front deck leaving the Quartermaster alone with his brother.
"Uh Bonnie… a little help…"
"Don't look at me," Bonnie replied, "He's yer brother. I'm not givin' 'im the talk. Good luck, though." The fox promptly vanished back into her boyfriend.
"Sabo… what are we supposed to talk about?" Luffy asked as he scratched his hat in confusion.
"God damn it, Nami…" Sabo grumbled as he rubbed his forehead while preparing for the most awkward conversation of his life.
BOB
The next day, Sanji was confronting Luffy about some missing food.
"What… I don't know what you're talking about…" Luffy mumbled who was acting notably shifty.
"Then why won't you look me in the eye?" the cook demanded. "What's with the shifty expression, huh? Answer me this, Captain… When I locked up the fridge last night there was still enough dinosaur meat left in it to last us until Alabasta. Why was the refrigerator ransacked and left empty?"
"Mmmurp…" Luffy attempted to stifle a burp and continued to avoid eye contact.
"You're a terrible liar," Sanji informed him. He blinked then leaned in and pointed to the edge of his mouth. "Oh, you've got something on your face there…"
"GAH! LEFTOVERS!" Luffy shrieked.
"I KNEW IT!" Sanji hollered as he pulled his leg back for a kick and prepared to dispense justice.
"SANJI! WAIT!" Sabo interrupted as he ran in and planted himself in between his brother and the angry cook. "Look... I know Luffy's eating habits better than anyone… and I know he's guilty… but I can't let you punish him for this one. This time it's not his fault."
Sanji folded his arms across his chest, "This I've gotta hear…"
"It's my fault… I'm still getting used to my new Devil Fruit Powers," Sabo explained. "One of the side effects seems to be that I get hungry more often. I swear I tried to curb my appetite. I ate three cannonballs, a barrel and a length of rope… but I was still starving. I even went to Chopper to see if something was wrong with me..."
Chopper looked back over his shoulder from his perch on the railing where he, Usopp, Ayako and Carue were trying to act nonchalant while fishing. "I discovered that Sabro actually has two stomachs."
"Two stomachs?" Sanji repeated.
"Yeah…" Sabo confirmed, "The first one is my normal stomach which makes me hungry and digests regular food. But my second stomach grew when I ate the Munch Munch Fruit. That's the one that stores all the weird stuff I eat so I can incorporate it into my body. But no matter how much I put in my second stomach… it doesn't satisfy my first one. So.. I went for a late night snack..."
"I put a lock on the fridge to prevent that sort of thing!" Sanji insisted.
"Yeah… I ate that too…" Sabo admitted, "Sorry... Again though, I only intended to have a quick snack. But Luffy caught me and he wanted a snack too. I tried to stop him but you know how he gets… we ended up tearing the door off of the refrigerator. And well… that's when things sort of spiraled out of control… We didn't want the food to go bad overnight so we tried to eat it all… then Usopp, Chopper, Carue and Ayako showed up and we made a late night party out of it."
"YOU RAT!" Usopp exclaimed.
"Don't worry Sanji!" Ayako called out, "We'll catch some fish to replace what we ate!"
"Quack!" Carue agreed.
"Damn it… none of you have any self control…" Sanji grumbled.
"I'll take responsibility for this one," Sabo told him. "You can kick me if you think it'll serve a purpose."
Sanji growled, "You know I can't do that because of your passenger." The cook glared at Sabo's left arm. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself? I half-expected it from the rest of these miscreants but I thought you were more responsible."
Swish!
A sheepish Bonnie Anne popped out from Sabo's left arm above her rifle. "I never actually got a chance t' taste the dinosaur meat before... I wanted t' give it a shot…"
"Heh… shot…" Sabo chuckled quietly.
Sanji sighed and shook his head. "It's against my nature to force someone to go hungry. And I absolutely hate to waste food. If seven of the twelve of us got to eat it then I guess it wasn't a complete waste…"
"I made sure no one touched the dry stock," Bonnie supplied. "So at least there's somethin' left… but anythin' that was edible right then got eaten… Sorry…"
Sanji glared at Sabo, "If you didn't have a lady living inside you… I'd kick your face in. I guess I'll have to scrape together a decent lunch for a dozen with whatever's left."
The cook turned and headed for the galley but left a furious Nami standing in his wake.
"I, however, have no such reservation," the Navigator announced as she drew her staff.
WHOMP!
Sabo went flying and slammed into the far wall.
"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed, "Thanks for taking one for the team Sabo!"
Nami turned to face him, "Let's do one more for good measure…"
WHOMP!
Luffy slammed into the far wall and crashed to deck next to Sabo.
Nami turned to survey the extremely nervous quartet sitting on the railings. "Since our Captain and first officer are a pair of morons… I'm taking over. You guys spent all night eating our food so I don't think you're going to be needing lunch. You can have dinner once you catch it."
"So much for the lock…" Vivi sighed from where she and Zoro were standing behind Nami.
"At least I've still got my booze stash…" Zoro resolved.
Nami, Zoro and Vivi headed headed for the galley.
"DON'T WORRY, CREW!" Usopp exclaimed. "I've got an idea how we can catch a big fish! But it's gonna take all of us working together."
"Yeah!" Ayako and Chopper cheered. "What do we do Usopp?"
"Well… first we're going to need some better bait…" Usopp stated as his eyes drifted over to Carue.
BOB
Vivi exited the galley a little over an hour later, "How's the fishing going?" The Princess froze on the steps and stared in shock at the sight that greeted her. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
"We're fishing, Captain Usopp style!" Usopp announced. He looked over his shoulder at Carue who was dangling from the fishing line. He had a familiar red symbol painted on his side. Chopper was in his big Heavy Point form and was holding the fishing pole. "I realized that we needed bigger bait to catch a bigger fish. Carue volunteered to help us out."
"QUAAAACK!" Carue shrieked. He didn't appear to be a willing volunteer.
"REEL HIM IN RIGHT NOW!" Vivi ordered. "What if something tries to eat him!?"
"That's why we've got Sabro," Chopper said as he looked back at Sabo, who was kneeling blindfolded on the deck behind him with his rifle-arm aimed below the red-painted duck.
"It's already worked once," Ayako stated as she pointed at the full-sized shark lying on the deck with a bullet hole in its head. She was sitting on Luffy's back and there was a green symbol painted on the rubber pirate's vest.
"Fish… is good…" Luffy mumbled as he stared at their catch and drooled.
"You see," Usopp said, "The red paint entices the fish and makes Carue look like an extra tempting target… and the green paint keeps Luffy from messing everything up and eating whatever we catch."
"I had my reservations but it actually worked pretty well," the blindfolded quartermaster admitted. "Bonnie and I got that shark just as it jumped out of the water to get Carue. It never even touched him."
"Yay team!" Ayako cheered.
"Would you mind calling Zoro out here to cut up the shark?" Usopp requested. "Then we can have Sanji cook it for dinner."
"I'm still not happy about you using my duck as bait," Vivi insisted. But then she glanced off the front of the ship and her eyes went wide in surprise. "What's that?"
"Hmm… it looks like smoke," Sabo noted as he looked in the indicated direction.
"It looks like cotton candy," Usopp observed.
"Ooo! I love cotton candy!" Chopper gushed.
"Cotton candy… is good…" Luffy mumbled.
"I'll get Nami," Vivi decided.
"And Zoro too!" Ayako called after her.
"NAMI!" Vivi yelled as she ran into the galley. "There's something up ahead! It looks like smoke! And Zoro… the others caught a shark and wanted you to cut it up…"
"A shark?" Zoro repeated as he put down his mug and stood up.
"My curiosity is peaked," Sanji admitted. He, Zoro and Nami followed Vivi back out of the galley.
"Whoa… nice job you guys," Zoro remarked as he eyed the shark lying on the deck.
"That thing looks big enough to feed us for dinner and breakfast," Sanji noted.
"That's not smoke," Nami stated as she overlooked the shark in favor of the weather phenomenon that she'd been called out for. "It's just steam."
"Steam? From the ocean?" Chopper questioned. "You mean it's not cotton candy?"
"Nope," Nami answered. "It's a hotspot. There's an underwater volcano down below us. That steam is where the magma comes out."
"There are volcanoes underwater?" Chopper inquired.
"There are actually more volcanoes underwater than there are on land," Nami informed him.
Sabo frowned, "I don't like magma. It's too hot and it burns everything."
"It has it's good qualities though," Nami told him. "In thousands of years the hardened magma from the volcano will eventually form a new island here."
"NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji swooned with hearts in his eyes, "YOU'RE AS BRILLIANT AS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"
Swish!
Bonnie popped out of Sabo's top hat. "Are ye sure it's safe? 'Cause we're about t' sail right into it…"
"I'm positive," Nami assured her, "I'm even willing to make you a bet, furball. If I'm wrong about this… you can be Navigator."
"There's nothin' wrong with havin' fur!" the spectral fox insisted, "From my perspective ye're all just extra naked under yer clothes! Right, Chopper?"
"Right, Bon-nee! Extra naked!" the reindeer agreed.
Bonnie glared at Nami then sank back down into Sabo.
"Steam… is good…" Luffy mumbled.
"Here, I'll rub the paint off," Ayako offered, "Something tells me you won't want to miss this…" The artist reached down and smeared the green symbol on Luffy's vest.
Whup!
"Ooof..." Ayako was knocked over as Luffy sprang back up to his feet.
"WHOOAA!" the rubber man exclaimed. "HERE WE GO! INTO THE MYSTERY CLOUD!"
"It's not a mystery! I just explained what it was!" Nami growled as the steam obscured the ship in a thick blanket of white.
"Koff! Koff! Blah! It tastes like sulfur!" Luffy complained.
"Definitely not cotton candy!" Chopper noted.
"Oooh! I like cotton candy!" a strange voice called out.
They emerged from the steam and everyone turned and stared in shock at a strange-looking man that was hanging off of Carue.
"QUACK!" Carue wailed.
"Oh, really!" the strange man blustered as he stared at the teary-eyed duck. "This is getting out of hand! One of these days, I need to stop jumping on every random duck I see!"
"EEP!" Ayako squeaked in alarm at the sight of the strangely dressed man. She was still lying on the ground from when Luffy had knocked her over and quickly rolled closer to the railing then pulled out her paintbrush and drew a familiar symbol on her chest. "Colors Trap… Boring Brown…"
"Who's this guy?" Chopper wondered as he stared at the strange man on his fishing line.
"GAAH!" the strange man shrieked as he lost his hold on Carue and plunged into the ocean below.
SPLASH!
"You have to help me, PLEASE!" the man cried out from below as he splashed frantically. "Ah! Get me out of here, please, I can't swim!"
"I guess he's our second catch of the day," Sabo reasoned. "Carue… help us save that guy and you can stop being bait."
"Quack…" the duck reluctantly agreed as Chopper drunked him back down under the water.
A moment later, Carue emerged with the soaking stranger clutched in his beak. The Bullfight Red had been washed off by the water. Chopper swung the fishing line over the railing and deposited both the duck and the strange man in the swan-themed ballet costume on the deck.
"Looks like we caught an Okama," Usopp noted.
"Ye're gonna have t' help me out with this one… what's an okama?"
"A transvestite. He's a man who likes to dress up as a woman."
"We don't have those in my world. The closest we've got is Catbeard. An' for the record... no woman with the slightest bit o' fashion sense would be caught dead in an outfit like that."
The okama shook his head as he pushed himself up to his knees. Despite his sudden bath, the okama's makeup wasn't running. Chopper shrunk down to his tiny Brain Point form while Nami and Sanji came down from the upper deck and joined the others in crowding around the stranger.
None of the Straw Hats noticed Ayako as she scrambled over to the main mast and ducked behind it. And none of the Straw Hats noticed Luffy as he slipped over to the shark and started eating it raw.
"I thought I was going to die there for a minute…" the okama gasped then he grinned in sudden realization, "HEY! You saved me! Swan thanks!" the strange man in the swan-themed costume gave a strange salute. "I never imagined my life would be saved by a group of complete strangers. I'll never forget your kindness!" The okama bent low and the deck and gave the pirates two quick bows. But then he pushed himself back up and smiled sheepishly, "Although... could I trouble you for a cup of warm soup?"
"Want some shark?" Luffy offered as he held up a fin that he was gnawing on.
THWAK!
"Damn you!" Zoro berated the Captain. "That was for everybody!" The swordsman grumbled at looked over the strange man. "As you can see… we're having a hard time feeding ourselves."
"It's okay…" Sanji said, "We've got some soup left over from lunch."
"Oh thank you so much!" the okama gushed. "You're a dear!"
"Yeah… sure…" Sanji said as he suppressed a shiver and slipped passed Vivi into the galley.
The okama's eyes followed the cook and spotted the blue haired princess on the upper deck. "Oh, wow! You're just an absolute cutie, aren'tcha? Oh, yeah, sexy!" He put a palm to his face and blew a lopsided kiss at Vivi.
The princess recoiled and muttered quietly, "He's so weird."
"So who are you, stranger?" Sabo inquired as he sat down next to the okama.
"Oh… you can call me 'Bon'..." the strange man offered. "Or 'Ben' if you'd like."
"Somethin' smells fishy… he's playin' the name game…"
"Well… if we're playing the name game," Sabo mused, "Then you can call me Dodger."
"Gaaa hahahaha!" the okama laughed. "Oh, you're fun!"
"What're you doing out here in the middle of nowhere all alone?" Zoro inquired.
"I'm not alone," 'Bon' told them. "I was with my crew on my ship. But then we sailed into the smoke. I couldn't see anything until I suddenly spotted your duck and I couldn't help grabbing onto it…"
"We're heading to Alabasta how 'bout you?" Sabo asked.
"Oh, I'm headed to Alabasta too," 'Bon' answered.
"Then feel free to stick with us until your crew shows up," Sabo offered. "Since we're heading to the same place they're bound to show up eventually."
"Gee THANKS!" the okama exclaimed. "You're too kind!"
"Here's your soup…" Sanji announced as he came back with a steaming bowl and placed it down in front of the stranger before handing him a spoon.
"OH WOW!" Bon gushed after trying a few quick spoonfuls. "This is DE-LISH! I used to say that chicken noodle was my favorite… but this is WAY better! You've got to give me your recipe!"
"The funny thing is we're kind of short on food right now," Sanji admitted, "I made that using a number of scrap ingredients that we had left."
"It's still DE-VINE!" Bon assured him. "The fact that you could make something so good with scraps speaks wonders of your skills! I dabble in cooking myself. The Okamas of Kamabakka Kingdom have a special Attack Cuisine that consists of ninety-nine special recipes! They're said to strengthen the body immeasurably."
"Ooooo!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper all cooed.
Zoro smirked at Sanji, "Can your food do that?"
"Shaddap," Sanji snapped.
"I managed to learn two of the recipes… sadly I'm only self taught," the okama confessed, "But my dream is to one day meet the Okama Queen Emporio Ivankov and study under him so I can eventually learn the other ninety-seven!"
"It's always nice to meet someone with an inspiring dream," Sabo remarked, "Good luck with that."
"YEAH! GOOD LUCK IN FINDING EVIL-KOV BON-BUDDY!" Luffy exclaimed.
The makeup-wearing okama didn't bother correcting him and instead beamed, "Thanks, new friends! I never expected to receive such a warm welcome!"
"I guess he's not so bad for a crazy-looking weirdo…" Nami whispered to herself.
"I've gotta warn them..." the unseen artist whispered to herself as she hid behind the mast and surveyed her unsuspecting crew.
"So you really can't swim, huh?" Luffy asked curiously.
"That's right. You see, I ate a Devil Fruit so I can't swim even a little bit," the okama said carelessly.
"Yeah? What kind of fruit?" Usopp asked with interest.
"Let's see," the okama mused as he got to his feet. "Well, since I can't go anywhere until my ship picks me up, there's no harm in a little fun. For saving my life, I will show you."
Luffy and Chopper perked up eagerly. "OOOO!"
"Get ready, this is my POWER!" the okama sang loudly. Then he suddenly reared back and slammed his palm into Luffy's face.
WHAM!
The rubber man went flying back and landed with his butt hanging over his head.
"WHAAA!" the Straw Hats gasped in shock.
Most of the crew just stared in shock apart from Zoro, who immediately drew Wado Ichimonji and Yubashiri and adopted a fighting stance. "YOU—!"
"Wait, wait, hold on a second!" the okama said, his hands held out in front of him and hiding his face. But what caused Zoro to freeze was that the strange man was speaking in Luffy's voice. "This is all just for a little fun, remember?" Zoro gaped in abject shock as the okama turned around… to reveal that he was now an exact copy Luffy… except for his weird outfit.
"Hey, now, mean guy," the okama cattily cooed, leaning forward with a wide grin plastered over Luffy's face. "Relax!"
"Wait," Luffy gasped as he flipped back over. "That's ME!"
"Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun!" the other Luffy laughed as he struck an odd pose while the rest of the crew gaped in shock. Then he straightened and opened his eyes. "And if I touch my face with my left hand—" he began, performing that exact action. "—I'm back to normal!" the okama finished, his original makeup-covered face back in place. "Now, that is the power of the Clone Clone Fruit, you see."
"Amazing," Nami breathed.
"The body and the voice matched perfectly!" Usopp exclaimed after a moment to get over his shock.
"DO ME NEXT!" Sabo exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Sure!" Bon agreed as he casually touched the Quartermaster's face. "I didn't actually have to hit him. I was only having a little fun…" He touched his own face and suddenly he was Sabo.
"Roger Dodger!" the oddly dressed Sabo-clone called out in Sabo's voice.
"Whoa!" Sabo gasped… but then he looked down. "Oh… um… you missed a spot."
Both Sabo's looked down to stare at the original's rifle-arm and then at the clone's normal arm.
"Oh, I'm sorry, this never happens to me!" the okama sputtered in apology. "Normally my disguises are seamless!"
"I'll explain why it didn't work…" Sabo offered, "I've got Devil Fruit Powers too. It's called the Munch Munch Fruit. I can make anything I eat a part of my body. I ate this rifle and now it's my arm. I guess there's no Devil Fruit Power that let's you copy other people's Devil Fruit Powers. But to your credit… your arm looks just like my old one did."
"That is impressive," Bon remarked, "Looks like I learned something new today! Thanks new friend! Here… I can do the same with the rest of you…" The okama pushed himself up onto his toes and did a quick pirouette that allowed him to touch the face of all the pirate's gathered around him.
WHISH!
Except for Zoro who was suddenly yanked out of the way by an unseen artist who was currently crouching behind him.
Bon touched his face and it became Sanji's. "Look, now I'm a cook!"
"WOOOW!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper cheered and applauded.
"It's like staring in a mirror…" Sanji commented as he marveled at his clone.
Zoro shook his head and suppressed a faint shiver, "Call me paranoid… but I've got the strangest feeling that we just screwed up by allowing those two to meet." He suddenly felt someone tugging on his arm. "Huh?" The Boatswain suddenly noticed the fourteen year old girl clinging to his arm. "Where have you been?"
The Artist pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and quickly whispered urgently into the swordsman's ear while still unseen by everyone else.
"HE'S WHAT?" Zoro yelped as he staggered away from the stranger in surprise and watched him with sudden suspicion.
Sanji's clone touched his face and transformed into Usopp, long nose and all. "All I have to do is touch my right hand to you!" he crowed in a perfect copy of Usopp's unique voice.
Another touch, and Usopp shrunk down and sprouted fur and antlers as he became Chopper. "As you can see, I can mimic anyone."
Another touch, and Chopper grew to become Nami. "That's not all, I can change...bodies, too!"
The Nami-clone grinned widely as she pulled open her coat and flashed the gathered crowd of Luffy, Sabo, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper. "WHOOOAAA!"
WHOMP!
"STOP THAT!" the real Nami yelled as she stood over the groaning okama who was now sporting a large 'goose egg' on his head and reverted to normal.
The red-faced Navigator turned to her gaping crewmates.
"NAMI-SWAN! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!" Sanji gushed.
"I've never seen anything like that before!" Luffy blurted out which caused Nami's blush to get darker.
"Hey… are you okay?" Usopp asked while Dr. Chopper prodded at the lump on the okama's head.
"Wow…" Sabo dead-panned.
"Don't act so impressed. Big tits don't mean anythin'. Who would ye rather have fightin' with ye?"
"You, hands down," Sabo quickly answered.
"Exactly. So havin' big, useless udders doesn't matter."
"I only heard half of the conversation," Nami growled, "But I'm STILL insulted!"
WHOMP!
Sabo crashed to the ground next to Bon.
"I'm… terribly sorry…" the okama groaned as he sat up. "If you're so upset maybe I shouldn't demonstrate my power anymore..."
"NOOO! DO MORE!" Chopper cheered while Usopp whistled.
"Yeah!" Luffy gushed, "Show us Nami again!"
"Yes! Please!" Sanji added eagerly.
WHA-WHOMP!
The Captain and Ship's Cook hit the ground on both sides of Quartermaster.
"OK! If you absolutely insist, I guess I can show a little more!" Bon agreed for his remaining audience which had dwindled to just two. He stretched his right leg up so that his foot nearly touched his head and raising his arms in a circle.
"Jerk shouldn't be so careless with someone else's body…" Nami grumbled as she stomped over to Zoro who was hanging back by the storage room door with the 'invisible' Ayako hiding behind him. "What's with you?"
The boatswain leaned in and whispered what the Artist had told him to the navigator. "HE'S WHAT!?"
"Well, in that case, I have something even more incredible: I'm equipped with a memory feature!" the okama declared as he struck another pose where she shifted all of his weight on his left foot. "I remember every face I've ever touched!"
"YEEAAAH!" Luffy cheered along with Usopp and Chopper once he'd recovered from his Nami-induced concussion. Sabo and Sanji had also recovered but were hanging back with slightly less enthusiasm.
"'Kay?" the okama said, raising a hand to his face again. "Clone Clone... Memory Montage!"
"OOO!" the audience gasped as Bon's face became childlike with buck teeth, short black hair, eyebrows in the shapes of dots, and an overall mischievous expression.
"HAHAHAHA!" They laughed as the okama became a dopey-looking man with a stubbled beard, pointed dark brown hairstyle, and a large round nose.
"WHOA! HAHAHAHA!" the enthusiastic audience continued to laugh as Bon became a man with a round head with two mustache halves coming from his nostrils, a slightly open lemon-shaped mouth, narrowed eyebrows and dark circles under his eyes.
"Whaa…" They yelped and reared back when the strange man's face became older and wrinkled with long black hair, a stern expression and a long pharaoh-like black beard.
"What the..." Vivi hissed to herself as she stared at the familiar face in shock.
But then it was gone and replaced by a rectangular head with short brown hair and a crescent-shaped grin that had Luffy, Usopp and Chopper in stitches again, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Bon returned to normal and began to spin on his right toe. "Around and around we go!"
"WOW! THAT WAS AMAZING!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper gushed while Sabo and Sanji were more restrained and settled for giving a polite applause.
Over on the other side of the ship, Zoro, Nami, Vivi were no longer amused. Ayako cautiously peeked out from behind Zoro and Nami.
"Well?" the okama asked. "Did everybody enjoy my very special secret talent? It's quite impressive but I almost never show it off!"
"Oh, yeah!" the five oblivious pirates cheered.
Luffy, Usopp and Chopper joined Bon in a can-can line. "THIS AIN'T NO JOKE! THIS AIN'T NO JOKE!"
The dancing quartet didn't notice Nami as she crept over to her two blonde crewmates and grabbed their ears so she could repeated Ayako's warning.
"I KNEW somethin' smelled fishy!"
"Do you want me to kick his ass now, Nami-swan?" Sanji offered.
"No… hold on…" Sabo cut him off. "Maybe we can put him to some use first…"
"Hey weird guy… is that your ship?" Zoro called out. He discreetly turned so his large body completely concealed the small girl hiding behind him.
Everyone turned to see a large pink-sailed ship with a swan figurehead moving quickly towards them.
SKISH!
Bon sprang across the deck with one bound and landed gracefully on the railing. "It's time to say goodbye already? What a shame!"
"NOOO!" Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper cried. But they were the only ones that did. Everyone else - even Carue who had yet to be untied from the fishing pole - had a grim frown.
"No! You can't leave, please don't go!" Usopp begged.
"Try not to be sad," the okama advised, "Journeys must always include farewells! And yet, I will never forget you or today. It's been brief… but true friendship isn't determined by time. DON'T CRY, MY NEW FRIENDS!" The okama flashed them a thumbs up and wiped tears from his eyes then leapt from the Going Merry onto his own ship.
"SEE YA, COOL GUY!" Luffy called after him as he and a sobbing Usopp and Chopper ran over to the railing and waved goodbye
"Now, quickly, let's be going!" the okama called out to his men as his Swanda pulled ahead of the Going Merry.
"Yes, sir, Mr. 2, Mr. Bon Clay, sir!" one of the men saluted exuberantly. And with that, the swan ship paddled away in seconds.
"MISTER...TWO?!" Usopp managed to gasp through his dropped jaw.
Ayako rubbed the brown paint off of her chest and finally stepped out from behind Zoro. "YOU DUMMIES! You let him get away with all your faces!"
"You mean you recognized him?" Vivi asked.
"Of course!" the former Miss Goldenweek replied. "My uncle made sure I knew what he looked like. He said if we ever screwed up Mr. 2 was most likely the Officer Agent that Mr. 0 would send to assassinate us. The Unluckies told us yesterday that the boss dispatched Mr. 2 to kill Mr. 3 because of Sanji's snail call. I mean… didn't you see the 2-shaped necks of the swans on his shoulders? When he's not in disguise Mr. 2 is the single most recognizable agent in all of Baroque Works!"
"I've never seen Mr. 2 or the Mr. 1 Pair…" Vivi confessed, "I didn't even know he had powers. But I did hear rumors that he was a big okama, talked like an okama, and dressed in an outfit with 'Okama Way' written on the back…"
"ARE YOU BLIND!?" everyone blurted out.
"But that's not the worst part!" Vivi warned them, "One of those faces he showed from memory… was my father's! What's he doing with my father's face?"
"A creep like him posing as a King could cause a lot of damage," Zoro reasoned.
"We let a really dangerous enemy get way…" Usopp realized.
"An enemy…" Chopper whispered.
"That's still not the worst part!" Nami insisted, "He's seen all of us! And once he realizes who we are he can show Mr. 0 our faces!"
"Then the solution is simple," Sabo spoke up. "We follow him and make sure he never gets a chance to show our faces to anyone else. We know he's heading to Alabasta. And I told him that we were healing there too. It won't seem suspicious if we're following him."
"Don't worry Nami-swan!" Sanji reassured the Navigator, "I'll avenge your honor and kick his ass!"
"LOOK ALIVE, YOU IDIOTS!" Boatswain Zoro shouted. "Go grab the paddles! FULL SPEED AHEAD!"
"AYE-AYE!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper chorused as they ran off to gather the paddles.
Sabo went over to Ayako, "Go wake up your uncle… I just came up with a use for your baggage. We're going fishing again. But this it's for a Baroque Works Officer Agent. Candle-guy will be the perfect bait."
"READY ZORO!" Luffy shouted as he, Usopp and Chopper came running back with the paddle.
"Alright, boys, put your backs into it!" the Boatswain barked as he, Luffy, Sabo, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper all grabbed the paddles and started rowing after the Swanda. "FOLLOW THAT SWAN!"
BOB
Sorry about the delay but here's the chapter. An extra special thanks goes out to the Patient One for helping me get back on schedule.
This chapter was a lot shorter than my last few but I'm using it as a reset chapter at the beginning of the Alabasta Arc. But in case you couldn't tell from that last scene, I'm going to be majorly shaking things up in Alabasta to the point where you'll barely recognize it.
Silver signing off