~BEXLEY POV~

"What's going on, Bex?" Sloane asked as she carefully lay down next to me in the grass. I stared up at the stars as images of Spencer and the kids filled my mind.

"Am I a terrible person?" I finally asked and I didn't have to look at her to see the confusion on her face.

She sat up then and said "What do you mean?"

I felt the tears gently slide down my cheeks and I looked away from the stars to the ground. "He wants kids, Sloane. He wants a baby so bad and I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready and I don't even know if I can."

"That doesn't make you a terrible person. Bex, you've been through a lot." she said and I could tell that she wasn't sure of what to say to me in that moment.

I took a deep breath before looking back at her. "What do you think I should do?"

"I'm not sure." She said and put a hand over her stomach. "This is my first time being a mom. I wasn't very happy to find out I was pregnant but now… I can't wait to hold him or her. This baby is the best thing that's ever happened to me besides Tyler."

I felt my next question rising up and it tore my heart apart before I even asked it out loud. "Do you think he'll leave me if I can't have kids?"

"I don't know. I'm not the one you need to ask about that." she stood up and I wiped the tears from my face. "I'm going to the bathroom but I'll be back."

I didn't have time to say anything before she walked off. I laid back and stared back up at the stars, wishing that my grandmother was here with me. She'd know what to do much better than I would.

I heard footsteps and didn't open my eyes as I said "That was the quickest bathroom trip ever."

I heard laughter that didn't come from Sloane and opened my eyes to see JJ standing over me. I sat up quickly and ran a hand through my hair nervously.

"It's okay. Relax a bit." She said and gently sat down on the ground next to me. "Sloane sent me out."

I fell back on the grass and couldn't even hide the frustration I felt. "Of course she did."

"She's just looking out for you, kiddo." I felt a smile pull at my lips at the nickname.

I relaxed a bit before saying "I guess if anyone knows Spencer, it's you."

She laughed before lying back on the grass. When she spoke, I could hear the motherly tone in her voice as well as the comfort she was trying to give. "What's going on, Bex?"

"He wants a baby." I finally told her and she smiled sadly.

"I know. Bex, if you're not ready for a baby, then you're just not ready. He understands that. He's not going to make you do something that you aren't ready for. Can I ask you something though?"

I stayed quiet as I waited for her to ask her question. "Are you worried about Spence being like your dad?"

I sat up then and I could tell that I'd surprised her with my reaction. "No. No, he would never hurt me or his child. He's protected me, been understanding, and kind. He would never hurt me."

She smiled then and I realized that I'd said what I'd felt out loud. I realized then that I truly did trust him and I knew without a doubt he wouldn't hurt me. I thought I'd been trying to convince myself but by saying it out loud, I proved to myself that I had no doubts in him.

"Then what's wrong, Bex?" She asked softly and sat up beside me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

I felt tears begin to sting my eyes but refused to let them fall. "What if I turn out like my mom? JJ, the world is full of hurt and I can't see myself getting lucky enough to have a baby just to let them get hurt. I'd kill someone who hurt my child but what if I wound up being the one who hurt them the most?"

"You're not your mom. You couldn't be even if you tried. You've proven time and time again that you care too much to abandon anyone. Have you thought about therapy?"

I laughed humorlessly and said "I don't really do well with strangers."

She smiled then and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Then how about you talk to me?"

"JJ, I'm not sure that's going to help. You have two beautiful and healthy kids." I told her and I knew that she wouldn't truly understand.

"Bex, my dad may not have beaten me but I had a miscarriage and I had a sister commit suicide. I may not understand the exact situation but we've all got our stories. Derek would be a good person to talk to if you didn't want to talk to me." she said and I immediately got slightly uncomfortable.

I took a steadying breath before saying "I'm sorry. I didn't know about the baby."

"No one did for a while… except Spence." I looked down at my feet as she spoke and tried not to think about my own worries.

I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and looked up to smile at her. "Thanks JJ."

I looked back and saw that Sloane was now sitting on the couch with Tyler, along with everyone else. Spencer was still holding Michael while Henry and Jack were crowded close to him. I could see Derek and Savannah laughing as Hotch made wild gestures with Eleanor, Dave was in the kitchen with Will now and it looked like they were getting ready to sit down and eat.

"We'd better get going. We wouldn't want to upset Rossi by letting our dinner get cold." She said and I couldn't help but laugh at the truth in her words.

I stood up and held out a hand to help her up. We started walking towards the backdoors and she walked a little ways a head of me before turning around.

"One more thing: Spence loves you. He's crazy about you. You're not going to lose him." She gave me a reassuring smile before walking through the doors.

I followed quickly behind her and walked inside to see his smile widen when we walked in. I walked over behind him on the couch and leaned down to kiss his cheek. I heard Michael laugh and looked down to see him smiling up at us.

I made a promise to myself that as soon as the case was over with my mom, I'd talk to him again about having a baby. The more I watched him interact with the boys, the less afraid I was to have a baby. I would do everything I could to not be like my mom and hopefully talking to JJ would make me a little surer of that.

"Come on everyone. Fix yourselves a plate." Dave said as he walked into the room and everyone immediately got up. Will walked over and picked Michael up, a smile spread across his face as he watched JJ help Henry fix his plate. Aaron came over and grabbed Jack before going to help him as well.

As soon as we all sat down with our plates, Dave cleared his throat and we all looked up at him. JJ gave me an approving look and smiled before turning her attention back to him.

"We've all been through a lot these past few months but we've managed to come out on top again. We've shared smiles and we've shared tears. Above all, we've gained a new member of the family. Bexley, you're officially stuck with us." He said and raised a cup full of the expensive grape juice as a toast.

I smiled before placing my hand over Spencer's and gently squeezing his hand. "David, I think that's the best thing I've heard all day."

The team laughed and I watched as several different forms of love filled the room. I saw Derek sitting between Penelope and Savannah, picking and teasing. I saw Dave kiss Eleanor's hand before lightly teasing her about her gray hair. I watched Aaron watch Jack as he and Henry talked about the latest cartoon. Will and JJ held hands as they fed Michael and Sloane smacked Tyler's hand as he tried to grab the last piece of toast from Sloane's plate. I felt Spencer's hand on my knee as he talked with the team and felt my heart flutter at his touch.

Hearing their laughter brought comfort to me in a lot of ways. It was such a change than what I'd known throughout my life. Here with them, it felt like a real family. Love, trust, protection, honesty, and happiness were all around them and it was what a family should be. For the first time in my life, I had a family.

***Well that's the next chapter everyone. I hope you are all still enjoying the story. Please R&R and tell me what you think. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Thank you for reading.