Chapter 4: No Balls, But Plenty of Blood and Guts

(A/N: I'm not going to include the famous No Balls scene mostly because it's a moment too scared to violate with my writing, so this starts right after it.)

-(After Goku discovered the most important thing about women, it had annoyed a certain warper out of slumber.)-

"You will two can it, I want to sleep!" I said putting a pillow over my head.

"No balls!" Goku said frightened.

My solution was smash a frying pan over Goku's head to shut him up for a bit. Yeah, it was cruel but he'll get stronger from it. Besides, he'll thank me later. A few hours, we all break up for breakfast. We were going back on the road for the balls. However, I knew Bulma would do her hair so I was already outside with Goku hoisting rocks and and whatnot. So Goku found Turtle, and man was I glad to see him.

"Whoa! Put me down, I'm not a rock." He said sweating nervously.

Goku put him down and we all talk for a bit. Of course, I already knew Turtle was out gathering mushrooms when he got lost and could not find his way back to the sea for a whole year. I call out Bulma and she got the sea water. So Goku hoist him on his back determined to head for the ocean.

"Hey! Wait, the ocean is 120 kilometers from here. We can't do this now. I only have a month of summer break." Bulma whined.

"Wait, I thought it was 100 miles." I said to myself before I turn to Bulma, "For one minute, could you show some kindness? He's lost and needs help."

Goku already took off without us and I smirked as I snagged by BlackTab and my backpack. Getting on my motorcycle, I jet after them.

"Later Bulma, see if you can make nice with hungry or horny dinosaurs!" I yelled continuing to follow Goku.

Now Bulma didn't get what he went by "horny dinosaurs", until she realized she was all alone with the two people who could fight are miles away. Her face went red as she took for her motorcycle to ride after them.

"Ace, you little jackass, wait up!" Bulma said speeding after our "heroes".

Soon, all four of them were on their way to the ocean but an opponent would soon at the way stopping the lot dead in their tracks. An anthropomorphic bear who was watching them had came out of hiding to face them. He was a large one wearing the armor of the Kuma Menercary Clan (which is basically Chinese armor from the Ming and Qing Dynasties) wielding a mighty Chinese broadsword which he lovingly called "Illusive Azure*". This bandit was known as Kuma Mercenary

Rikanto. Or as Ace knew him as…

Bear Thief. I completely forgot about this waste of ink and paper. This guy was complete joke and I wasn't even scared. Considering all the people in Dragon Ball alone, he was low on the pecking order. Hell, I showed no fear looking at his dumb face. Goku nailed this guy with one punch in the anime, and a combo in the manga. So I decided that I would going to take this one, because I was itching to fight someone. And he was unimportant enough for me to beat up.

"What do you want, Smokey? Shouldn't you be shirtless and telling people to put out fires?" I said sarcastically.

"I…don't get it. Either way, I'm here for the turtle. Tonight, I want to dine on turtle soup. So hand him and the girl over, and I won't kill you." He said with a cruel smirk.

"No. I don't want to give you the turtle." Goku said defiantly.

"Goku! Ace! Quit being stupid! He's huge." Bulma said terrified of him.

I knew she was terrified of what he would do to her. Oh right, she forgot her guns back at the capsule house.

What a whine. I put down the kickstand to Kageyama, and I get off cracking my knuckles.

"Goku, I know you want to fight this ass. But do you mind if I take him on instead? You'd beat him easily." I said with a smirk on my face.

"All right, Ace. I'll watch the turtle and Bulma." Goku said. "I'll finally get to see you fight all out."

"Ace! Don't do it, he's armed with that s…" Bulma said before I face you.

"Bulma, if I beat him, you will owe me a favor. No questions asked." I said before facing the bandit. "And as for you, bring it because I'm not giving you a damn thing."

It's then I noticed a light purple glint in his scarred eye for a second before readied to attack. Either someone's screwing with this universe or I'm seeing things. He swung his sword and I got out of the way swiftly. He was a lot faster than I thought he'd be. It was then that my BlackTab, which was still strapped to my side, started playing, strangely enough, Fierce Battle from Metal Slug 5. Don't know why, but it only seemed to make this more intense. Backflipping out of his range, Bear Thief let loose a shockwave by slamming his sword into the sword. That's when I noticed his sword glowing purple and he released an energy attack through his sword. I tried to deflect it, and I learned my first lesson in living in this world. Don't be cocky until I could back it up. I was sent crashing into the dirt.

"Ace!" Goku said about to set the turtle down to fight him.

"No! He's mine!" I said scrambling up to my feet.

No more game! I charged at him and he swung his sword at me once again. Leaping over his attack, I let him talk to my left foot as it collided with his skull. Seeing the blood spew out made it oh so sweet a sight. The big bear went down on the ground, and my injuries slowly begin to heal. The music cut out on my BlackTab.

"Ace, you did it!" Goku said excitedly.

Ace had expected this to be over, and our three heroes were readying to go on their merry way. But it wasn't over yet.

"Boss-sama!" A female voice cried out.

Ace was confused and the four surprised with two new people entered the scene. A woman with Rapunzel length orange hair, bluish skin, blue eyes, and pointed ears had came along along with an amphibian-like warrior. Both were armor similar to Ritanko. In this timeline, Ritanko had allies. The demon witch Mamba and The demon frog warrior Susha. The reason why Ace didn't recognize them was because they were found a certain special Ace wanted to forget. Mamba attended to Ritanko shaking him awake. Ace had cracked the boar's skull and pretty much jacked up his scarred eye worse.

"Urggh…Mamba, Susha, you're here." He said slowly staggering to his feet. "Seems this punk, Ace, here has some fight in him."

"Don't move, we'll deal with them." She said before turning to Ace and Goku. "I hope you punks are going to leave now before I'm going to kill you and devour your meat off your corpses."

"If that's the case, I'll just have to kick ass then. Bulma, watch Urigame. Goku, take this bitch on. The frog one's mine." Ace said cracking his knuckles.

Goku put Turtle down, and he scurried behind Bulma. Goku walked up to take a fighting stance.

"Humph, you just got lucky. You won't be this time." Susha said liquefying himself into a puddle.

-Ace vs. Susha-

Ace looked at the frog warrior at first thinking that is going to a tough fight, then he realized that Susha being a liquid made him water. Ace contemplated on how to fight him while dodging his strikes.

"I could boil him with fire, but I'm unsure of the fire technique will even work. The ice is a no go until I train some more. I could fry it with electricity though." Ace said.

To Ace, he thought it was odd he could use electricity easily and seemed to be immune to it. He didn't know that it was his mixed blood giving him that. At the moment, he just found it convenient.

"I don't know if the universe is begging me to try out making my own technique, but I won't look in a gift horse in the mouth." Ace said to himself.

"See, boy. It's useless to fight me because all can do is dodge me!" Susha bragged.

Ace focused an amount of ki into his left hand in tandem with charging a bit of his own bio-electricity into it.

"Supākutatchi (Sparking Touch)!" Ace said slamming him palm down on the puddle electrocuting Susha.

Susha screamed in agony as his inside were fried due to them being liquid. To everyone (except Goku), the puddle exploded with blood, gut, and pieces of Susha's armor flying everywhere. Ace wasn't shocked but numb. Bulma was horrified, but she was glad it was one less person to deal with.

"Susha, no! You killed my closest friend you…." Mamba said before getting her skull cracked by a swing of Goku's Power Pole.

Said blow send her flying up until she was a mere twinkle in the sky. Ritanko was now alone once again, but Ace wasn't going to let him live this time. Ace bolted toward Ritanko sliding under the bear's sword strike and delivering a rising double kick up to the bear's jaw. As Ritanko stumbled backwards, Ace focused all his ki and bio-electricity into his whole hand.

"Shi no denki-tekina ejji (Electrical Edge of Death)!" Ace yelled slamming his fist through Ritanko's armor and hitting his flesh.

The poor bear had to suffer the fierce blow and having his inside electrocuted. It didn't help his Ace's hand was soaked Susha's guts and blood. The boars blood-curdling screams were music to Ace's ears. After about twenty agonizing seconds for bear, Ace pulled out.

"The Kuma Mercernary Clan…will….have….your head for this..gahh!" Ritanko said falling over to the dirt dead.

His body smoked and burnt from being electrocuted, Ace casually took up Ritanko's Azure Dragon sword which would have fried Ace if he wasn't immune to electricity.

"That was rough, Goku." Ace said a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, that old witch was tough too. She kept trying to strangle me with her hair." Goku said dusting himself off.

"Well they wouldn't be a threat anymore, and I got a new sword. A sword like this should get a name." Ace said raising the sword in the air.

I was trying to think of a badass name for this sword. My brothers would come up names for their weapons. I was thinking Dragon Soul or Death's Razor, but something tells me those names were taken. I noticed the spark of electricity off the sword and I had a name in mind.

"I got it! I'll call it Rakurai." I said looking up at it.

"That's a nice name for a sword." Goku said.

"Calling your sword a thunderbolt, Ace? Fine, suits you I guess." Bulma said.

I had Bulma and Goku go on ahead with Turtle to the ocean, because I had something I needed to do. My BlackTab got the results of who those two clowns and I was shocked to know that those rejects from that bastard timeline here.

"Well I hope I won't see Lord Yao. But, that might not be a bad thing. Someone that I can fight is a bonus." I said to myself. "Now, for you Bear Thief."

I stabbed it several times with Rakurai mostly to ensure he's dead and to leave that bitch Mamba (if she lives) with no way to fix him. Afterwards, I hop back on Kageyama and ride off to the beach to catch up. I arrive to find Turtle already gone and Goku and Bulma playing in the water. Stabbing the sword into the stab, I joined them. I need a bit of piece of fun, plus to get the bloodstains off of me. Soon enough, Master Roshi arrived. I introduced myself, but stayed silent while canon went on. Goku got the Flying Nimbus, and then we got to the infamous scene.

Turtle berated Roshi for asking such a dishonorable request talking about code and so forth, but Ace shushed him. Bulma had was having second thoughts, so I gave her a reassuring look. I did have my BlackTab on record for this. Why? I can say I witnessed it, and material to laugh at later. I did realize something…Bulma could really use a shave. I kept recording the whole glorious scene. In the end, I put away by BlackTab, and thanks Roshi for gifting Goku.

"Eh…wait, Master Roshi. Ace helped in the fight as well, and as much should be rewarded as well." Turtle said.

"Oh right. Sorry, I don't really have anything of value. But Turtle did mention you having some good fighting skills. So how about a chance to train under me?" Roshi said scratching the back of his hand.

I was already planning to go to him with Goku anyway, but I accept. I did point out that I had an obligation with the "hot young scientist" and I had to handle it.

"Oh, I see. Well then, take your time. When you're done, do come by my island." Roshi said handing me the address which I didn't really need.

We said our goodbyes and we were on our way back.

"I can't believe I had to flash that old guy." Bulma bemoaned.

"Come on, Bulma. It could have been worse, trust me. Ero-senin could have easily asked for sex or worse." I pointed out.

Considering the amount of doujins, this was both ironic and true.

"Ero-sen'nin?" Bulma said before breaking out into laughter. "Ok, now I am going to call him that if we meet again."

Despite all that, it was still morning as they returned to the capsule house. Ace now carried Rakurai on his right side with his BlackTab now on his left side. Bulma entered the capsule home to change only to scream in terror that she had no panties on.

"The old man saw everything!" Bulma said horrified forgetting about Ace for the moment.

Of course, Goku innocently told her that he took them off while she was sleeping. Ace rushed inside and told Goku to wait outside. Ace told in a machine gun toting Bulma's way.

"Bulma, I know you're mad, but you shouldn't shoot him. One of my regrets was not teaching him sex ed. He truly doesn't know better." Ace said trying to calm her down.

"So it's your fault, then!" Bulma said firing on Ace. "You asshole!"

To Bulma's disappointment, this didn't hurt Ace at all and he rolled his eyes as she emptied the clip of bullets on him.

"Whatever. Let's just pack up and get on Goku's cloud." She said putting on a new outfit.

"Bulma, you can't even get on the cloud. You need to be pure-hearted, and you are not." Ace remarked.

"Oh yeah, I am pure of heart! I'd bet on it." Bulma said.

Bulma pulled the trigger for Ace's benefit. Ace betted Bulma she couldn't get the cloud. Bulma went out and tried to get on the Nimbus only to fall face on her face.

"I guess you're not pure enough to ride the Kinto'un, Bulma!" Goku said innocently only for Goku to be punched off the cloud by Bulma.

"I guess being too beautiful is a crime." Bulma said.

"Say that to Boa Hancock, Chun-Li, and Lana Kane. Bet they deck you for that." Ace said being a sarcastic jerk about it.

"Piss off! I bet you can't even get on the damn thing." Bulma said angrily.

Ace pointed out that he knows this, but shoots back with that he didn't boasted he was pure. Bulma gritted her teeth.

"And I won the bet, and I know what I…" Ace said before dragged inside the capsule house by an angry Bulma.

"Girls are certainly strange." Goku said in thought.

Bulma threw Ace on the bed looking at him clearly flustered.

"So what will it be?" Bulma asked arms crossed. "And no, I am not going to swallow."

Ace started to laugh and pointed out that sexual stuff wasn't what he wanted yet. He told her he had other plans in mind.

"Are you sure you don't want to fool around a little?" Bulma said nervously.

Two minutes later, I was outside waiting with Goku. What did I do to Bulma? Well, I decided to give her a makeover because she was our Ms. Fanservice. I had Bulma dress up as Boa Hancock, and Bulma unwillingly came out of the house to de-capsulize it. However, I wasn't a complete jerk and modified it. The top wasn't as revealing as Boa's with an added white tube top, and sarong wasn't that loose. She also wore sneakers, but I had her wear the snake earrings and even styled her hair similarly.

"Ace, thanks for…not making this outfit so bad." Bulma said with a thin blush.

"No problem. I'm not a heartless asshole." I said getting on Kageyama with my duffel bag on my back and my gear on my side.

"Well you're still a perv, but one who can do hair. Where did you learn to do that?" She said getting her radar out and getting on her motorcycle.

"My mother had trained me so she could have someone to do hair. My dad wasn't really good with that." I said calmly.

"Wait, your mom? I thought you were an orphan like Goku." Bulma said to me confused.

"I didn't say I was." I said starting up Kageyama. "But it doesn't matter at the moment, where's the next ball?"

"Well it seems to be in that direction." Bulma said pointing East.

"There's a village in that direction. It'll take us about two to three days to get there. I think it's Aru Village or something like that." I said taking off.

Bulma and Goku follow along and we were all off to continue the adventure. I knew she was going to change clothes by the time we get there, but I had a plan for it. Heh…

(A/N: Easily, my favorite chapter to write. I mixed element of manga and the anime well in this one. One thing I kept from the manga was not having Pilaf appear yet. Just assume his shenanigans with his minons is off-screen. Also, this chapter is littered with references, and the ones in bold you'll have to look up.)

-Ace's Special Attacks-

(A/N: This list is for the attacks that Ace has created on his own, or modified from previous ones to create new ones. After every chapter, this will be posted underneath each chapter to describe each one if I create any new attacks for Ace.)

Supakutatchi (Sparking Touch) - An attack focusing on electrocuting a foe by focusing ki in tandem with one's bio-electricity into one hand. (Can be used as a palm strike or punch)

Shi no denki-tekina ejji (Electrical Edge of Death) - Ace's version of the Heavy Impact. There two versions to this attack, the lethal one that can kill an opponent and the restrained one which is mean to severly injure an opponent.