Summary: The return from Therum has everyone a little hot under the collar, but then barely missing a major volcanic event can have that effect on people. Liara tries to make her position clear to the crew of the Normandy by offering up any assistance she can muster. Meanwhile Shepard takes an unintended step toward the lieutenant, before trying to rebury her troublesome and growing interest.

A/N: As usual my sincere thanks to xForeverQuotex and MyParamour for their beta skills. I appreciate them more than words can express. Also my thanks to those of you reading, for your patience with real life and writer's block intruding on my planned schedule for things.

11 Excessive Heat Exposure

i.

Once the bay was sealed, Shepard unlocked the door of the Mako, and exited after the rest of the squad. "Nicely done, Mr. Moreau," Shepard called as she folded out of the Mako, her landing was relatively noiseless despite the weapons and armor adding to her weight. She had always been light on her feet, it was something she attributed to the etiquette classes her mother had foisted on her as a girl. "Have everyone assembled in the Comms in forty."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

The commander traded a glance with Williams.

"It was like playing tag in hell," the chief stated, trying not to yawn.

"Yes, it was a bit on the warm side for my tastes, as well," Liara noted in a delicate voice.

Shepard noticed the glare the chief cast in the alien's direction. The commander assumed, and hoped, it was from a lack of trust combined with irritation over the situation that had surrounded the seemingly oblivious scientist, whose unclear head had unwittingly given away the team's location in the ruin.

"All right, I'll see you in briefing. Gentleman, escort Dr. T'soni to medical please, once you've cleared her, as per procedure," the commander said to the pair of MPs as much as to the asari. "These men will remain with you until they bring you up to the briefing," Shepard directed to the doctor. And until I figure out what we're going to do with you.

The other two females were disarming on the other side of the bay. The officer crossed to the elevator and unholstered her pistol, flipping on the safety as the door closed. After clearing it and pulling off the barrel, Nyx inspected the weapon, before checking over part of the exposed mechanism. It had started acting up before they met up with the krogan. When the door of the lift slid open she was still studying the mechanism and nearly collided with Chief McMillan.

"Problem, ma'am?" he asked with a glance at her pistol.

"Probably not. It's just being temperamental."

He nodded once. "Edges tend to be. Might want to see if you can requisition up a Raikou-they pack quite punch and are pretty reliable little beasts."

"Thanks for the suggestion, Chief. I'll look into it."

She ducked into her quarters with a smile, glad that McMillan seemed to be a little less tense around her now. Nyx shed her armor and then made a beeline for the showers in the tank top and the black shorts she wore beneath the under mesh of her armor. After scrubbing away a mix of volcanic grime, sweat, and what she could only think of calling geth juice, she let herself just stand under a stream of cold water.

The heat on Therum still seemed to be roasting her-even in the Mako with the environmental controls working overtime, she still felt like her brain was baking in her skull, and Shepard was pretty well certain she was not the only one who was suffering similarly. She pulled on her BDU pants and t-shirt then went to the sink.

"C-O if you took all the cold water, I might just have to shoot you." Williams joked with a slightly serious note in her voice, which was entirely undone by her relieved smile. It seemed Ashley was glad to finally be within reach of some reprieve from the discomfort of the little volcanic world they had just left.

Shepard laughed and tried not to choke on her toothpaste. "No worries, Chief. I think there is more than enough to go around," she replied after rinsing out her mouth.

"Next time you wanna do something fun with the girls, let's find a better destination than Hell's twin sister."

"Roger that, Chief. Enjoy the cold water."

She padded across the deck in stocking feet-lime green socks with white and yellow stripes of varying widths-still not willing to put on more clothing. When the hatch to her quarters opened, she threw her things in the direction of the bed. Not caring if anything made it, she turned and crossed the deck to the coffee pot before changing her mind and reaching into the refer unit instead. Shepard hopped onto the counter and quickly downed two bottles of orange juice as she was about to reach for her third, she caught sight of the shadow.

"You all right, ma'am?"

Shepard looked up at him like a kid who had been caught in their father's liquor cabinet. "It was just really hot down there," she explained rather sheepishly. "I think I might be a touch dehydrated."

"You might want to go easy with the sugar." He walked over and reached into the back of the unit, pulling out a large cold canteen. "I read the scans planet side. Put several of them in here for you and the rest of the la- … ground team, … ma'am."

"Tell me you are not drinking coffee," Williams said, pulling her still damp hair up as she rounded the corner.

"Nope. Alenko hooked us up." Shepard tossed the canteen to her as Kaidan moved to grab a replacement.

Williams pressed the bottle to her neck. "L-T you are now my favorite person ever. I could so kiss you."

Shepard tried not to, but could not help but laugh, as she noticed the blush kiss his cheeks, before he reached into the unit again and set two more cold canteens onto the counter.

Clearing his throat as he stood, he looked down at Shepard. "Don't know if Tali can drink it," he announced, setting his fingertips on the top of a red canteen, "I think I followed the procedure right, but I'm not sure. She may not want to risk it."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate the effort, but we'll pass on the warning," the commander replied, returning the slight smile he gave her.

As soon as they heard him mount the stairs, Williams laughed wildly and Shepard smiled as she lifted the bottle to her lips. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't even think about it when I said it."

"Happens to the best of us. Besides, I'm not the one you need to apologize to, Chief." Shepard shrugged.

"It's just… Really, how can a hospitable planet be that damn hot? I'm starting to sweat again just thinking about it." Williams shook her shoulders uncomfortably at the thought of Therum, Nyx could sympathize.

Shepard's alarm pinged. Ten minute warning. The commander hopped off the counter. "Could you deliver these to our fellow sufferers?" she tossed the canteens to Williams. "Let Tali know the Lieutenant's a rookie and it may not be properly prepared."

Shepard shook her head at the idea as she walked to her quarters. Nice of him to give it a go. But it has to be a tough life. She was very interested to know more about the quarians. They were fascinating and heartbreaking all at once. A part of her wondered if Tali's life had resembled parts of her own, or if life on the Flotilla was more akin to life on the ground. She let the thought fall away as she pulled on her boots and the rest of her uniform before heading up to the communications room.

ii.

The taller man with the kind eyes glanced down at her. "Ma'am," he said softly, touching her arm when the door opened.

"Thank you," Liara replied.

"Please, Dr. T'soni, have a seat," Shepard suggested, looking up at her from across the room.

Everyone in the room was staring at her, well, she did not know for certain if the quarian was, but her head was turned toward the doorway, so Liara assumed she was as well. They had all been here for some time before the commander had called down to the medical bay and asked that the security personnel escort her upstairs. Liara could only think that the squad had been discussing her, and possibly her fate, as it were. The commander was the only one not looking at her; the little human's bright blue eyes were cast in the direction of her toes.

She looks much bigger in armor. The thought streaked through the doctor's head and it made her study the human just a little bit closer as she crossed the room. Liara stared at Shepard, in part because she was not looking back, but also because she had been intrigued by her from the point at which the officer shushed her-the point when the asari first realized the woman was not a hallucination. Shepard was leaning against a low railing, arms folded over her chest and ankles crossed in front of her. The pose suggested relaxation, but her eyes and the stress knitting her brow suggested the officer was anything but.

When she took the seat between the turian and the krogan she was struck by the reality of it. There were only three humans in the room. She observed each in turn as they spoke, human and alien; each presented their take on the mission on Therum, asked questions, and offered their insights into the encounter at the dig site. When T'soni looked at the other human female, if she recalled correctly the commander had called her Williams, her dark eyes bored into the asari, prompting Liara to shift her gaze to the man next to her. His eyes were much kinder, but more guarded.

The commander had been hospitable enough, but Liara had still been escorted under guard to the medical bay where she met with Shepard for a few minutes prior to the MPs walking her upstairs to that room. She understood procedure and from the questions at the dig site, the presence of the geth, and the krogan mercenary there to fetch her, Liara could certainly appreciate the caution being taken with her. They all wanted to be sure she was not some kind of spy or something more than she had admitted to.

After what happened on Therum and after seeing them in action, witnessing the skill they exhibited, Liara wanted nothing more than for them to know she had no contact with her mother. It was easy to recognize that this was not a group of people you wanted to be on the wrong side of. She had no idea what Benezia was doing, and whatever it was seemed like something Liara would want no part of. That moment was the first one in decades where the young asari was glad for the estrangement she and her mother were in the throes of.

Looking around the room, surprise was the only reaction she could muster, tempered with a little awe. Krogan, turian, even a quarian, and now an asari-how had this one woman, and a human at that, managed to ally herself with such a diverse group? And if the caliber of the commander and the team she had met on Therum was any measure, they were all very capable in their own right, the scientist guessed. Liara thought most humans feared or at least looked down on other species, but this woman respected them and listened to them-apparently counting them among her equals, if she were to judge from this example.

The most striking member of the ensemble, for Dr. T'soni, by far, was the quarian. She had only ever met two others of that species and they had been rather skittish visitors to the university in Thessia's capital, there to deliver a special lecture for a professor in the engineering department. Liara only seen them from afar, and never had the chance to speak with them.

As the briefing proceeded, the doctor overcame her natural shyness in favor of self-preservation, freely offering up any information she had, whether she thought it useful or not. She knew that she owed these people her life and, while she did not know or quite understand what her mother was doing with Saren, she was sure that she would rather the commander and her squad not assume Liara's support lay along the same vein. In that moment she realized just how long it had been since she saw her mother last-nearly fifty years. It had been half a century since mother and daughter had last merely seen one another face-to-face. They had spoken since, a few times, but Liara merely felt herself buckle under the weight of her mother's expectations for her every time they made contact. So Liara had continued her work, relatively on her own.

After mention of the beacon on Eden Prime, and the commander's interaction with it, Liara found herself a bit distracted. She could hardly imagine how the petite human, leaning against the railing in a stance that made her seem smaller than she actually was, had been able to handle the experience. She's touched live, functioning Prothean technology. Even after having witnessed her powerful display against the krogan on Therum, the asari found it hard to get past the look of the young woman. She seems almost delicate. Liara could not reconcile the slight female with the type of strength one would certainly have to possess to withstand an interaction with a beacon like they described.

How could Shepard even survive? The doctor had heard of one asari academic who had attempted interfacing with a minor device, not even something as large as the beacons Liara had seen images of, and that researcher's brain function had been reduced to bare survival levels. She lost the power of cognizant speech and only retained the barest of motor functions for the two years she had managed to survive after her interaction with the device. And from everything Liara had read, asari were much heartier physiologically than the short-lived human species. Shepard's mere survival was miraculous, but to survive and maintain her personality and abilities. Needless to say, the young academic was intrigued.

During the briefing Liara found an eager audience for her knowledge. The commander did not seem concerned about her relative youth and welcomed her input. It was this response, tied to a scientist's natural curiosity that prompted the doctor to offer her opinion on the images that Shepard had received from the beacon.

"I could try to help you make sense of the images from the beacon," Liara suggested, scooting forward in her chair while trying not to look fervid.

Despite her eagerness to know what might have been transmitted through the beacon, Liara was concerned slightly, especially attempting this process in a room full of people that seemed to hold a great deal of respect for the honey-haired woman she was about to lay hands on. With good reason, she was concerned about the reactions of those present, not all, but some-namely the other human female who eyed Liara suspiciously throughout the entire meeting, and the krogan who seemed to growl unconsciously under his breath.

T'soni rose demurely and met the officer in the center of the room. She tried to prepare Shepard as best she could for what she was going to do, but there really is no preparation for the melding, especially when one or both parties are relatively unfamiliar with the process or the person they are trying to connect to. Melding with another was usually an immensely personal action and often incredibly startling the first time, even for many asari.

"Close your eyes, please. Relax your mind, but try to think about that day. It may make it easier," Dr. T'soni suggested.

She noticed Shepard wince slightly at the direction. It must not have been a pleasant experience. Setting one hand on the human's shoulder, Liara gripped the woman's upper arm in the other. She knew bare skin contact usually made the connection a quite a bit easier, but some of the more cautious glances concerned the asari enough that she opted for a more detached method of connection.

"Embrace eternity," the doctor gasped as she opened her eyes, which were now no more than inky black pools.

Though she had performed this type of interaction a few times before, Liara had never had anywhere near the difficulty she had with the commander. Though she knew it to be unintentional, it seemed like Shepard was fighting her every step of the way. She could feel the relative relaxation in the human female's arm and shoulder but her consciousness was not a very tranquil place. Her mind seemed to be swirling and racing, thoughts flowing freely and seemingly at random. It was like being caught in a maelstrom.

Liara placed her hands on the side of Shepard's neck, her brow furrowing slightly with the signs of the struggle. Fighting toward the images of the beacon was trying, to say the least, but she caught a glimpse of the tall thin obelisk, heard the pulse and felt the glow. Then it was replaced with the lifeless eyes of a young man and the stricken face of the lieutenant who had smiled and nodded at her not long ago. But it was immediately replaced with another image: the dead young man standing with several other soldiers, she assumed from the similar manner of dress; he was standing, holding his hands triumphantly in the air. In those moments, Shepard's grief, joy, fear, pride, anger, and hope were all starkly evident—she feels so strongly, vibrantly. Liara had not noticed any outward sign of this type of emotional investment since she met the woman.

The archaeologist concentrated harder. It's not right to allow yourself to wander. Focus on the beacon. Perhaps following the memories more linearly would make it easier, she thought. She saw a geth holding down a civilian who was immediately impaled on a large spike. She felt herself gasp. The struggle continued. A dead turian. The sight of a geth's head exploding through the sights of a rifle.

Then the beacon-finally, the doctor thought, as the fatigue of the exchange muddied her own mind. But then there was more. The strange pulsing of the device was a little off putting. She even heard Shepard's thoughts as she pulled the lieutenant clear of the device. Then she felt it-all of it. The constriction, the pressure, and the paralyzing sensation, but the images came, finally.

When she released Shepard, Liara felt light-headed, not only from the fact she had been holding her breath since the beacon grabbed the human in the memory, but also from the struggle to interact with the commander's mind. She now better understood why this woman could survive where the asari researcher had not. Shepard's will and her mind were strong; she was more robust and forceful than anyone Liara had ever encountered-more trying even than the turian engineer she had melded with on a dig, and their species were considered some of the hardest subjects to meld with and read. Shepard's mind was even more demanding than Liara recalled her own mother's being.

The doctor could only stare at Shepard, the things she saw and felt while within the woman's mind were striking and dizzying-enticing and consuming. Her balance failed her, but Shepard caught Liara's arm. The gesture spoke deeply to the asari. Even in the short time since she met the commander T'soni noticed her respect and consideration for her team. With that assistance and the suggestion to speak with Dr. Chakwas, Liara felt it was a clear communication of her inclusion. Nor did Shepard seem suspicious of her or concerned that the archaeologist might share her mother's agenda. Liara did not, but she was shocked to see a human trust her so quickly. Everything she had heard about them would have suggested otherwise. She expected the same suspicion the other human female cast in the asari's direction with every glance.

iii.

Shepard, hands clasped behind her back, tapped the button on her datacuff thrice, a clear signal of her intent, she just hoped that the helmsman knew it. Uncertain whether he had all that much experience with operational non-verbal comm signals, she sent the click command anyway and was thankful Joker understood her signal. The councilors disappeared in the middle of the turian ambassador's newest diatribe. The Council were in a tither over the fact that she brought T'soni aboard and was considering her as a potential resource rather than a criminal. Shepard's method for concluding the conversation was a message crafted to offer the Galactic Council a little insight into their newest Spectre-do not mess with her people.

"Communications cut, Commander."

Joker was trying to stifle his glee at having been able to hang up on the Council. He shared her disdain for politicians; he had also been fairly candid about it when he revealed to her that he barely liked most officers. Of course he had softened the blow by saying there were a few exceptions to that rule, while smirking at her. His explanation was one she could sympathize with-he mostly just put up with the uptight officers because it got him where he wanted to be-into the pilot's seat of some of the most advanced vessels the Alliance had to offer.

"Still feeling the heat, ma'am?" he asked playfully after a moment.

"Little bit, Joker."

"Maybe it was setting off a dormant volcano that got you all calescent."

Shepard looked up at the ceiling for a long moment. "You running a word of the day program up there, Lieutenant?" she asked as she crossed to the door.

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

She made her way to the cockpit quickly, polishing off the last of the water she sipped at since the returned from Therum. She did not reply until she was standing behind him. "You are never going to let me live that down, are you?"

iv.

Joker, not expecting her to come up to the helm, was startled by the sudden proximity of her voice. He grinned and shook his head as he replied. "Not if I can manage it. And, hey, how many times does a guy like me get something he can hold over an N7? Let alone a Spectre? Come on. No one's strong-willed enough to resist that kind of temptation."

At that she laughed heartily, not the usual reserved chuckle or amused sigh with a trace of a smile that she offered the rest of the crew, but an all out laugh. Joker just nodded with satisfaction, glad that he was able to have relieved some of the tension the Council's call seemed to have added to an already heavy mix.

The pilot decided to press his luck a little more. He glanced over at her, deadpan, and happily informed her that he preferred gold to silver for his medal. And the officer replied in kind reminding him that he would have to break out the blues and go all spit and polish, as well as shave the beard. That was the straw that broke that camel's back.

"No way I'm shaving this baby," Jeff chided, stroking his facial hair.

"Well, at least you've got your priorities straight."

"Yep, pretty simple list. Fly. Pick you up when you do something insane. Fly. And then become a real-life wookie."

"You're going to be your own Chewy?"

"Why the hell not?" Joker chuckled.

"Why the hell not, indeed?" Shepard agreed. "All right. Link us into a comm buoy so I can get Anderson and the brass their reports as well. And ask someone at command if we have anything on Saren or his synthetic army yet," she ordered.

"On it."

He had known from the first time he met Shepard that she was going to be an officer he liked. It had become cemented when Moreau heard from Alenko that she planned a little biotics display using her staff lieutenant as a target. In that moment, he realized he was not going to be dealing with the typical uptight Executive Officer. No one had really known what to expect of her—N7, Spec Ops, trained with the turians, war hero—with a glance at her service record, the unclassified part, she seemed like someone you did not want to meet anywhere, let alone a dark alley, especially if you were the wrong sort.

But there was more to it than that. The news that she was going to go toe-to-toe, or brain-to-brain, as it were, with Alenko had inspired the Flight Lieutenant to make some more in depth calls. He had called pilots he knew, a few Special Ops guys he pulled out of some hairy situations, and even a guy he knew from the academy who had gone into intelligence. The shocking part was that it had been the intel squirrel that talked the most.

The commander tapped the top of his chair twice before she turned and headed back through the CIC. After the events on Therum, the pilot hazarded a guess that she was headed back to her quarters, or maybe the mess.

v.

Shepard did indeed make her way back to the crew deck, considering what he playfully said to her about his medal preference. He was dead right. Joker really had pulled her boots out of the fire. And he had also been right about what he said when they first set out-he was one hell of a pilot. He might just get a medal or two out of this tour, with the way everything was going down.

There was no struggle in writing the after-action reports. Everyone who touched the mission had completed their requisite paperwork and once she added her own, Shepard merely had to coalesce them into an official AAR. All the others would be attached with it for reference. Over the years she had learned, through success and failure, it was not her job to decide what went in the report, just to record what happened on the ground as she saw it. All the reports were loaded into the encrypted data transmission to be beamed to Command, as well as uploaded to her personal storage device off-site.

Chief Jensen had always called it her Save-Your-Ass-in-a-Pinch cache, though Shepard always thought that was just too long a title. It housed every report she had ever authored. Even the ones it probably should not house. But it was her safety net. That way she always had a place to go and grab the information so she could look back and be able to say, "No, that is not how that happened." And she planned on continuing the trend, especially since it had paid off in the past and kept her reputation clear from accusations.

Rubbing at the back of her neck, she decided to make the rounds. See if there was anything going on that required her attention. The cargo bay was quiet. Williams was breaking down and cleaning weapons and Garrus was running an after action inspection on the Mako with the vehicle's service crew. Returning to the crew deck she popped into medical to check on the asari. Chakwas gave Liara a clear bill of health, explaining that it was merely an expected reaction to the melding process combined the exhaustion and the stress of the attack on Therum.

"She's decided to make use of the medical lab in the back here. It's a nice quiet spot. And she seems a little shy," the doctor volunteered.

"We are still talking about the asari, right?" Shepard asked. "She wasn't shy in the briefing." Nor when she was yelling at us in that ruin, she thought remembering the encounter and how the doctor alerted the geth in the lower level of the ruin, in her confusion over whether the human was real or not.

"Your squad is an intimidating bunch, Commander."

Shepard nodded. Very true. Initially, the officer had not considered Dr. T'soni's forthcoming nature as a response to her people or the protocol she employed, but it was as likely an answer as gratitude for having pulled her out from under a bloodthirsty krogan and a gaggle of Saren's geth.

"Thanks, Doc," the CO said. Approaching the door to the lab, she knocked and waited for permission to enter.

"Commander, you didn't need to come down here and check on me," T'soni stated, shoulders hunched and looking up at Shepard through long lashes.

"That's just how I am. Dr. Chakwas says you're feeling better."

"She is very kind, and quite knowledgeable. And I am feeling much better, I was just a little fatigued. The last few days have been a little trying, and the joining can be draining, especially …" Liara shrank back slightly not opting to continue.

"Especially?" Shepard asked, trying to catch the asari's gaze. She preferred to look people in the eye when she spoke with them.

"I wouldn't want to offend you."

The commander waved it off and opted to sit down, it was a calculated move. She was shorter than the asari, but apparently still intimidating to her. In her experience, Shepard had found that sitting down could lessen that, by turning the table of dominance in a conversation. "You won't offend me. I put heavy stock in honesty."

"You are very strong willed, Shepard. And your mind is a … busy place." The archaeologist clasped her hands tightly behind her back. Shepard could not be sure she if the behavior of the asari was a sign of nerves or a result of the incidents on Therum, or some combination of the two.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make it difficult for you."

"No, I just didn't expect it. And it was quite interesting." She laughed lightly and slipped into her chair. "For a military officer, your mind is surprisingly circuitous. I melded with a turian once, we were studying a ruin together," Liara explained, the meekness in her voice and the look on her face suggested she did not want Shepard to get the wrong impression. "His mind was very ordered and linear. Yours, however, was nothing like his."

Shepard just nodded, with the barest hint of a smile.

"And I am rambling." Liara closed her eyes and shook her head.

"It's fine."

"I'm very sorry, Commander."

"It's all right, Dr. T'soni," the officer repeated, setting her hand on the asari's forearm. "Though it is a little strange to hear someone talking about roaming around in my brain."

"I'll try to refrain in the future." The timid demureness returned to the alien's voice, replacing the momentary excitement she had shown moments earlier.

"We're heading for the Citadel. I'm going to speak with the Council about placing you under their protection," the commander divulged with a note of finality.

"Oh," Liara replied as she looked up at the commander again.

The look on the asari's face was surprise, mixed with a little fear. Shepard raised her eyebrows in question. "You had something else in mind?"

"I rather think I might be safer here. On this ship."

Shepard just watched her for a moment, considering the option. Given the information she had on Dr. T'soni, Shepard had decided not to propose it. The little bit she knew about the woman, and her demure nature combined in the officer's mind to suggest she might rather not be part of what was happening around her. The commander, uncertain the archaeologist possessed skills she could utilize beyond the information on the Protheans, knew full well that a briefing on that could be had from a well-read intelligence analyst, but there something in that careful gaze that suggested the asari might be more than she seemed at first glance.

"I could help. I've spent most of my life studying the Protheans, and I was trained, in biotics. I've also had weapon training." She detailed the civilian training she had in using her biotics, which all asari receive, and the fact that she also used it to protect herself on very remote dig sites prone to being raided. She also divulged the extra training her mother had insisted on.

"I could help," she pleaded, repeating herself; her voice becoming slightly smaller under the Spectre's gaze.

"You're sure?"

Liara nodded, wide-eyed. "Absolutely."

The Spectre stood and looked down at her. "If you decide it's all too much. Just let me know. Don't be afraid to tell me if you feel out of your depth. Honesty, remember?"

"Thank you, Shepard."

"Welcome aboard, Dr. T'soni."

With that the human slipped out of the lab. Lieutenant Commander Shepard offered a quick nod to Dr. Chakwas on her way out of the medbay. She figured within a few days the scientist would be settled enough to join in the combat evaluations she was planning on conducting with the team. Her training was all civilian, but that did not really discourage the commander. It was likely there could be some situations where having a powerful biotic could come in handy. And as a source of information on the Protheans, T'soni could not really be easily replaced.

The Normandy's dance card was filling up fast and there were several requests cluttering her proverbial appointment calendar that needed to be kept on their return to the Citadel. Since the asari planned to stay aboard, the commander decided on the fly that she was going to postpone their return to the station. There were a few requests that asked for priority consideration. As such, she messaged Pressly quickly to let him know that they would need to rearrange the plans after the next mission to accommodate those other requests. Plus, by delaying return to the Citadel she might just reinforce the little non-verbal communication she had delivered to the Council earlier.

Slipping out of medical, Shepard stretched her arms over her head as she rolled her neck from side to side feeling the disadvantage of taking a cold shower after the mission. Her hands kneaded at the tight muscles there as she winced slightly at the discomfort. Cold showers always made her muscles tight afterward. Though after the volcanic heat of Therum there was no way that Shepard could have even considered a hot shower, which was her preference. In fact, despite the tightness in her neck and shoulders, the heat of that planet seemed to stick with her.

Shepard knelt by the unit near the coffee maker and looked in. She could not help but smile. "Alenko, you are a prince among marines," she said softly as she reached for the canteen.

"Appreciate the thought, Commander," he replied from across the room.

She shut the door a little harder than she had intended.

"Sorry, Shepard. Didn't mean to startle you."

She smiled slightly recalling that the phrase was precisely that she had said to him in the wards, and for a second she wondered if it was intentional.

"So you, uh, … cut comms on the Council, huh?" he asked with a trace of a smirk on his lips as he glanced over at her.

She laughed as she turned. "Damn, I am gonna kill Joker."

He shook his head in disagreement. "I was on the bridge when it happened. I heard the click command."

She nodded as she raised the canteen to her lips and took a drink. "So by that, I take it you are the reason Joker knew what it meant?"

"Yeah. He's been around the block, but that was a new one for him. I worked with a few guys from an Arcturus Team once, and happened to remember."

"Appreciate it," she replied.

"How's Dr. T'soni doing?" he asked as she crossed the room.

Shepard could see he had something he wanted to say. "Chakwas cleared her. She wants to stick around."

He looked at her quizzically. "She's a civilian, ma'am."

"So are Tali and Wrex. Tali has even less combat training than that little archaeologist, given the biotic education all asari receive from childhood." Shepard was not arguing the fact, just trying to point out that Liara's inclusion would not be unique.

"I heard about that. It's like part of the core curriculum, right?"

"Reading. Writing. Arithmetic. And Moving Stuff with your Brain. Very advanced," Shepard chided.

"Your training was like that too? With the asari tutor?" he asked curiously.

"Not in the least. They didn't find me until I was fifteen." Most biotics were detected early and monitored by medical personnel and implanted in early adolescence to allow their brain to adapt and "grow into" the implantation. Then after the healing process was deemed complete, usually about a few months after they were amped, they were trained to use their biotics for the first time. Though Shepard had been in the typical age range for implantation, between 13 and 16, she had almost slipped past them.

"That old?"

Shepard smirked at him. "Yeah. Looking back I think Mom and Da knew, or at least suspected. But they didn't know any more about it than I did. And I think it spooked them, even more than everything else. Or maybe they didn't think I was amp-able and kept it under their hats," she disclosed with a shrug as she watched her fingers toying with the lid on the container in her hands. Then she turned the tables. "How about you? What was your training like? Just the Alliance crash course after basic?"

"Not quite." Kaidan stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down at his boots. "No. I was part of a pilot program a while back. The Biotics Acclimation and Training program run out on Gagarin Station, they called it BAaT."

Shepard had heard of the program, but only barely-she knew the name, but nothing specific about it.

"It was mostly L2s, some of the older kids were L1s. It was only in the works for a handful of years before they shut it down." He looked up at her and he bit his bottom lip quickly. "Conatix brought in a turian to train us."

"Turians, really?" That was surprising given not only turian-human relations on the whole and the Hierarchy's speculation about biotics. They were cautious with anyone showing signs of biotics and it seemed strange to her that the Alliance would opt for a turian instructor for a human program, especially given the dominance of other races in biotic theory. "Why not the asari?" she asked, realizing quickly that was not the point.

They both knew it was a rhetorical question, and he did not really address it, because there really was no answer for that question. "Conatix was still untouchable. No one questioned them. Everything they touched was gold as far as the Alliance was concerned. Kids just wound up there. You'd come home from school, some guys in suits and lab coats would should up and sell it hard. They made it seem like the only real option for people like us." He glanced up at her for a moment.

His voice was a bit strained as he continued, "The way my Dad bought into it, you'd have thought it was a personal request sent down from Command. The exposure scared him. He spent most of my life wondering what he was going to do with me. Like I was some ticking time bomb. The more he read about eezo exposure and biotic potential the weirder things got at home. By the time I got to Jump Zero, it was almost a relief." Kaidan shook his head at nothing then crossed his arms over his chest.

"But Brain Camp was not what any of us were expecting from what we were told," he admitted straightening and stuffing his hands back in his pockets. His inability to decide what to do with his hands clued Shepard in to his discomfort with the topic. "They pitch it like boarding school with some biotic training that would help us master our abilities. It wasn't quite that way. You either came out of there a Superman or a wreck. A lot of kids cracked," he stated, looking up at her guardedly.

When his eyes met hers, he went silent. He was gauging her response. And from the look on his face, she was nearly certain he wanted her to say something.

"I had no idea. I'd heard the name, but beyond the barest insinuation about it," Shepard stated, shaking her head at her lack of information.

"Yeah," he added, swallowing audibly as he struggled to maintain eye contact with her. "After it shut down, people tried to brush it under the rug. No one wanted to deal with any of it."

"What happened?"

"Kind of what's happening to you now, ma'am. If you don't mind me saying?"

"Speak freely, Lieutenant," she replied with her brow furrowed at the suggestion.

"I mean people are just dropping you into the middle of something they really don't know anything about and expecting a miracle. Expecting you to Superman it or crack." He leaned toward her. "Doesn't it feel a little off? Like they really don't want you to be able to do it?"

"It's not the first time I've been given an assignment like this," she noted, sensing his concern. "They are being cautious. The Council knows I'm Alliance. They know I'll utilize those resources, which means anything that comes to me goes to Command. I'm not going to speculate about what they may or may not be holding back, because in the long run, it won't do us any good. We just have to work with what we have and what we can scrounge up."

"So you're good with just being left to twist in the wind?"

Her gaze sharpened and he straightened a little in response, noticing he pushed on a nerve. "Seems to be a trend I'm caught in the middle of right now, Lieutenant. And I'll handle the Council doing it like I did the Alliance. I'll suck it up and do the job anyway. Apparently, it's what I do," she added as a biting aside, recalling the conversation she had with Anderson before they left the Citadel.

"Sorry, Shepard."

"No," she replied. "You're good, and it is frustrating. I don't like not knowing what's going on. And I haven't heard back from Intelligence about the contents of the files that the Council turned over. Our guys can't seem to break Saren's encryption, and there is no word if the Council has either. Add to that the shocking lack of information we had on T'soni when we set out. And in all honesty I really thought we'd at least have a breadcrumb on Saren to follow by now. "

"I'm sure they're working on it," he started. When she looked up at him incredulously, they both laughed.

"Yeah, they are," Shepard said. "But it doesn't mean we'll get what we need when we need it. But I'll work it out. Always do," she added, looking at her hands. "I should probably get out of your hair, and Command is probably waiting for me to file the final reports."

"Listen, Shepard. Umm… Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time."

"Sure thing," she replied, hoping it seemed casual. She turned to head back to her quarters.

"Commander?"

Shepard stopped and looked at him over her shoulder.

"Do … do you make a habit of getting this personal with everyone?" he asked her with a great deal of hesitation in his voice. Possibly because he realized he had just told her more about himself than he had since they met, or possibly because he realized he was being more open than he usually was with the people he served with.

"I do like to get to know my people."

He did not look relieved, as he tapped his palm with the tool he had picked up off the panel when she started to leave.

"And, no, I don't make a habit of getting this personal," she replied carefully, realizing both the truth and the implication of what she admitted.

She suddenly realized that she knew very little about the childhood of very few of those she counted as friends. Shepard only knew those things about the people she was closest to-Caz, Lin, Jensen. She knew several people professionally, their skills and talents, even their quirks. But she knew very little about them personally. The realization struck her sharply, especially because she found herself wanting to know those types of things about the lieutenant.

His gaze was unwavering and she seemed to see the moment the significance of what she said hit him. His warm brown eyes narrowed on her and uncertainty seemed to knit his brow. And there was something else there, but she could not quite classify it. Or maybe she was just afraid to.

"We'll talk again later. And thanks again for the water." She turned, finally escaping around the corner and into her cabin. Shepard noticed she was breathing a little heavier and tried to calm herself by pressing the still cool canteen to her neck.

When the door slid closed she leaned against the bulkhead and stared up at the overheads in the ceiling. This was not something she was used to. She was not this woman-she did not lead with her heart. Nyx had always led with her head. And right now she was out of her depth.

"What the hell are you doing, Shepard?" she whispered to herself.

She felt light-headed and her pulse was racing. Nyx slid down the wall and opened the canteen. After downing several large swallows, she rested her elbows on her knees and looked up at the ceiling.

Is it the situation? Is it the stress? The magnitude of it all? Questions piled on top of themselves in her head. She really should not be concerned with why she was attracted to him. As she drew back from herself and looked at everything they were facing, this seemed like such a tiny little thing. But when she started to look at what was right in front of her, the situation gained more prominence. In all her questions about the external factors that might be pushing them toward one another, she overlooked a different more pressing one.

Could it just be him? Could she just be drawn to him? Then came the inevitable questions. Why? Why him? Why now?

It rang in her head a moment and she started to look back. Even before things became unwieldy it had been there. Even before she knew who he was it was there. When she had playfully commented on the tightness of his t-shirt, snapping the sleeve against his bicep, it had simmered there under the surface. Hell, it had been a struggle only to kiss him on the cheek; control that she was thrilled to have exercised the next morning when she saw him on the bridge of the Normandy and found out precisely who he was. But now it just seemed that the speed and force with which they were being drawn together had multiplied exponentially.

For a moment she allowed herself to wallow in the idea. Then, just as quickly, another part of her doused the warm feeling, literally. With a quick movement she splashed icy water from the canteen in her own face and sat there blinking as the cool liquid chilled the skin of her face and chest. "You are his commanding officer," she scolded herself. "You cannot use your influence in such a manner. You're a better officer than this, Shepard. Would you really throw away your whole career for something like this? You did not work this hard to throw it all away from some hormone-laden fantasy that's probably all in your head anyway."

She took a deep breath. A shiver overtook her, and made her smile in the hopes that the heat of Therum had finally dissipated.