Summary: Simians, geth, and pirates… Oh My! Throw in some rough terrain and the crew finds out why Joker teases Shepard mercilessly about her driving, while Kaidan gets a glimpse at the lengths the commander went to in order to reach her goals.

a/n: Much love and appreciation to LadyAmesIndy, Chyrstis, and MyParamour for their wonderful attention to detail. Also, a bit of good news, it would appear I may have beaten down the block on the next chapter so things might return to some semblance of normal in terms of updating.

12 Evaluative Maneuvers

i.

The Mako was packed as it sped across the mainly open terrain of Eletania. Admiral Hackett made it plainly clear in his message that retrieval of the data module from this probe was vital to Alliance efforts to combat the Geth on Eden Prime and developing fronts. The request sounded rehearsed. Likely, it was-the practiced precise words of some scrawny analyst in some tiny cubicle somewhere. Regardless, the mission presented as fairly straight forward until the team located said probe. The small electrocuted simian creature at the crash location suggested that things were going to get hairy, literally.

Liara sneezed as she placed one of the little creatures on the ground. "I think I'm allergic to them," she stated, sniffling a little.

Tali sighed slightly. "It's not here, Shepard."

"Yep," Shepard replied with an exasperated tone as she looked around the little nesting area for a moment. "Load up."

Tali was the last one in, well, before Shepard that was. She noticed quickly that the commander was always the last one to enter the Mako, or the Normandy, or any place she considered safe. Transversely, Shepard was always the first one out of the vehicle, or through a door. The quarian realized early on it was the officer's way of protecting them. Shepard placed herself between her team and possible danger. Upon entry, she would be the first one anyone saw, and the one most likely to become their target. It was Shepard's way of keeping them as safe as she could, given the circumstance.

Comforting as it may have been, the thought was wiped from Tali's head as the Mako skidded to a shrieking halt at the next location.

"Is that absolutely necessary, Commander?" Liara queried from beside the quarian in the back of the vehicle.

Kaidan looked back and shook his head slightly, discouraging the question, while Shepard ignored it entirely as she hopped out of the vehicle, weapon up, and Tali presumed eyes scanning the area from the way her head turned.

"Less worrying about my driving and more finding my module," she called over her shoulder toward the open door after a few moments.

Garrus had told Tali that Shepard got a little testy when people criticized her driving, while she was actually driving the Mako. The commander was not nearly so sensitive about it when he joked with her on the ship, or so it seemed, or maybe she just gave him a little more leeway then.

They finally located the module in a colony that had claimed an abandoned mine, but the geth had found the fire team in the same dark space. It was cramped quarters to say the least and even though the synthetics had only sent one squad there were way too many weapons in that tight space for any of the Normandy's team to be comfortable with.

Judging from the response, the geth really wanted whatever was on that module. The synthetics were pushing hard at the four-man team and seemed to be gaining the upper hand. Tali could not help the panicked little screech she made, although it embarrassed her to have reacted that way, a part of her was thankful for it. The reaction called attention to the charging Juggernaut, which Alenko launched backward with his biotics. The move allowed the pair of them to take it down easily.

The three snipers had been trickier, but Shepard made a suggestion that made smart use of her team's skills and quick work of the shielded synthetics.

"Overloads all around, and a singularity right in the middle of it, if you would, Doctor T'Soni," the commander ordered as she climbed up on top of a stack of crates with the lieutenant's help. Once the distraction began, the lithe blonde officer put down two of the three with the long rifle she carried; the third of which had been lifted by Liara's biotics became easy pickings for the rest of the squad.

Exiting the mine cautiously, they confirmed that the geth had either thrown everything they had at the Normandy's team, or opted to retreat after the same decimated their ambush. The second seemed the most likely given there were no signs of the delivery vehicle that dropped the platforms. Shepard's eyes scanned the area as her team loaded up, the commander was more attentive here than she had been at the simian colonies, Tali noticed, but that was not unexpected.

"All right, Doc," Shepard said, calling up the next location on the topographic map.

Tali'Zorah groaned a little more loudly than she intended when the location of the Prothean site came up on the topographic map. This is going to be an ugly ride. So much worse than Therum. Liara and Kaidan had been lucky thus far. Most of the terrain on Eletania was flat and Shepard had mostly kept the vehicle off the hills and rises. But there was no way they were going to reach that location without some off-roading, as Shepard gleefully referred to it, usually with a slight hint of the maniacal in her tone.

As the commander sped off, the young quarian tried to steel herself for what was coming, though deep down she knew there really was no way to prepare for that kind of terrain and the way Shepard would likely navigate it. When they returned to the Normandy, the three passengers scrambled out of the vehicle glad that they were in the hands of a much more talented and relatively calm driver on that vessel.

The loud thumps announced the return of the CO's crew, even though the ship had already made that announcement before any of them exited the Mako.

"Holy hell, Shepard," Kaidan groaned as he leaned against the side of the vehicle. "I thought they were just kidding."

Garrus and Wrex had already had their turns as Shepard's passengers, though the returning crew would have called them victims. The turian looked over at the lieutenant pointedly and said, "Turians do not joke about-"

"Anything," Joker interrupted over the intercom, which made the alien glare at the ceiling while the others chuckled in response.

Shepard hopped out of the Mako, both her boots landing with a dull clunk, it was much more subdued than the exits of her teammates. "I don't know what the issue is. The log says it stayed level almost the entire time."

The commander had a ritual to her return. Tali watched as she cleared her weapons, checking the safeties, before laying them on the table Gunnery Chief Williams proclaimed as 'her land.' The rest of the squad followed suit. Ashley was good with guns and took that chore as her responsibility. Along with Garrus' occasional assistance, she kept the team's weapons in prime condition. Williams also kept her eyes open for modifications and weapons that might better suit each of them.

Before they had left the Citadel initially, the chief had procured a light but strikingly powerful shotgun for Tali asking if it might be something that would work for her. Williams had even gone so far as to escort the quarian to the small Alliance range in the HQ there, where they tried it out. It had surprised the quarian, but made her feel even more welcome, like she was truly part of the team.

"Yeah, it's the almost that got me, I think," Kaidan retorted as he laid his pistol down on the table. "How the hell does a person even learn to drive like that?"

The commander shrugged, with a trace of a grin on her lips.

"That's not driving," Wrex interjected with a gruff grumbling chortle. "I don't know what the hell it is. But driving is not the word. Though I wouldn't mind knowing how you made her stand up and dance like that, Shepard?" he added, winking at the short blonde leaning against the lockers.

The commander laughed heartily. "I'm not giving you all my secrets, Wrex."

"Yes," Garrus interjected from behind his console, "but if you continue to drive like that you may find yourself alone out there."

"All right. Have it your way," she replied with a daring glare cast at the turian. "First person to plant a wet sloppy kiss on Wrex gets to drive next time we're groundside." She poked her thumb at the krogan to her right and raised her eyebrows, glancing around the bay.

No one moved initially. They all just stared at one another. Eyes moved around the room, from face to face, all of them waiting for someone to take up the challenge.

"What? No takers?" the commander taunted.

Finally Garrus slapped his hand on his table near his console. "All right, Wrex. Pucker up."

The krogan grabbed his shotgun and trained it on Garrus.

"Try it." The wry smile was equal parts playful and menacing, as was the very visceral growl underlying his voice.

Tali'Zorah decided to play along. While Garrus had Wrex distracted, she crept up on the krogan. His eyes turned to her when she set her hand on his forearm. He just watched her as she leaned her mask against his thick jaw. For the sake of drama and emphasis, the quarian punctuated the gesture with a loud and pronounced smacking sound.

Glancing at the surprised faces around her, she patted Wrex's arm. "Guess I'm driving from now on," she trilled.

Shepard shook her head and laughed as the bay erupted with enthusiastic cheers and clapping. Tali could feel it. They were becoming a team; they were becoming friends, with Shepard and with one another. They were beginning to get a feel for each other, who one another was, how they worked. And most of all they got along even outside of the combat and the missions.

ii.

Admiral Hackett had the Normandy on speed dial, or so it seemed. He also seemed to have given out her frequency to every officer with a star on their shoulder outside of the Sol system. After every mission debrief, Shepard met with Pressly to discuss the latest incoming information, which usually left Joker with an ever shifting set of coordinates.

While the team had seen more combat during the Normandy's initial berth at the Citadel than Shepard anticipated, it was on a highly limited scale which did not allow much of the team to find a rhythm with one another. Given the level of expertise and experience of the diverse personalities that had inadvertently found themselves as part of the Normandy's crew, she knew it would likely be a fairly easy transition from unit to team. The seven humans and aliens that comprised the Normandy's combat unit were incredibly skilled, some possessed even more combat experience than the commander. Operators of their caliber were hard to find, and to have assembled a team that skilled by chance was practically unheard of.

The missions and situations the Alliance forwarded her were calm by comparison to what she expected to find once they got some decent leads on Saren. In the back of her mind, she wondered if she made the right call in her approach. Anderson mentioned he could reel in a few favors and get her access to Pinnacle Station, though, since she was a Spectre the favors were probably moot. That was a safer environment to evaluate her team. But that was part of the point. Her team needed to be pushed not coddled.

Once they find a groove, we can hone it in a simulator, she told herself yet again. Prior to Eletania she paired them up based on skills, then moved on to considerations of style and weapon preferences. But over the next few weeks each one of them had the chance to work with everyone else on the team. It also allowed Shepard the chance to see how people worked with one another as well as how each of them fit with her particular approach and her operational tempo.

The topic of conversation after missions focused squarely on people's evaluations of one another's performance, as well as the overall successes and failures of the mission at hand. With operators of this caliber it was not uncommon to have them evaluate one another after missions. Shepard kept most of her comments to herself, but she did oversee the conversations between the squad mates. They were all experienced operators with their own styles and preferences, and she was hoping their differences would make for a stronger unit that knew and understood one another and could anticipate their fellows in the field.

Even Shepard was not immune from the evaluation of her squad. Wrex told her to trade in her pistol for a real gun. "A real gun requires two hands and all your attention," Wrex had noted in that rumbling voice that made Shepard smile. She considered his suggestions about the type of shotgun she should consider using in close combat situations, even though it was really one of her least favorite weapon types because of the range restriction. Just because she could charge into someone's personal space did not mean she did it all that often. It was usually a defense or protective mechanism for her, as were most of her biotics.

Garrus adjusted her prone sniping posture and taught her a breathing technique he swore would help her with her aim-the first few times she had tried it, though, it had made her dizzy and she nearly passed out. She tried to find a way to make that work without causing her to hyperventilate, but with limited success.

Shepard continued to dance around her feelings and though there was flirting and chatting, she and the lieutenant both seemed to be trying to keep things as close to a professional level as possible given her penchant to forget about the uniforms when they spoke. The commander found herself occasionally assessing the unfamiliar situation, which was almost more trying than her fascination with the man in her chain of command.

All Nyx could decide about it was that the two of them worked well together. As a squad leader and an officer it was hard to overlook the way his skill set played well off hers. For that reason above others, she was loathe to complicate or jeopardize the mission or the team for something as simple as an attraction or an infatuation, which was how she chose to classify things. Thus she kept her interest to herself as best she could, though the lieutenant did not make that easy on her.

The archaeologist and the commander also became friendly. Shepard wanted to know more about the Protheans, in hopes that it could clear up the images and maybe give her some way to reconcile the nightmares that plagued her. T'Soni remained skittish around the officer, however, which Nyx just chocked up to the asari's different context of things. Applying her usual tactics, Shepard bred familiarity with all the members of the team, and each time they spoke, Liara seemed to relax a little more.

Toward the end of one particularly lively debriefing, in which Tali and Kaidan argued with Garrus over the proper application of omni-gel, Shepard ducked out only to have the XO grab her by the elbow as she exited the communications room. The two of them removed to her quarters to address a priority request from Admiral Hackett. Command had intelligence on a group of pirates kidnapping people of all species on remote colonies, and their signature had been picked up in close proximity to Alliance interests. As such command had issued a request for a preemptive interception of the group.

"I must say, Commander, I'm rather surprised that's the route they want to take with this issue," Pressly noted as the doors of her quarters opened.

"Really?" she asked in a tone thick with skepticism. "You were at Elysium."

"Yes, but this is not the same thing."

"Same type of people. Rush in disable everything they can, grab up as many bodies as they can stuff in the hold, and run. They've done it in a dozen systems or more, and now this band's signature has been seen near Alliance colonies."

Pressly shrugged and spoke a little more quietly as they moved toward the bridge. "But this group hasn't made a move yet."

"Against us. They have, however, hit a small salarian colony and they are believed to be behind the kidnapping of the crew of that batarian vessel that was found disabled in Caleston Rift a few months back."

"That is not our …" Pressly stopped speaking when her progress up the stairs halted and she stared up at him.

Shepard's eyes never left his, but she did take a beat before she said anything, then taking a step closer to him the commander spoke clearly though low enough to ensure they were the only two that heard what she had to say. "As long as I'm on this vessel it is our duty, our responsibility, and not just because the Council made me a Spectre. This is precisely what I do. What I've always done. First for the Alliance, and now I just have an extra flag to carry when I'm doing it. Are you reading me, Mr. Pressly?"

She could see him working his mind around what she revealed, coming to terms with the vague answer to the question he would not ask, knew better than to ask, almost feared to ask. There was more truth than he knew in her insinuation that the Alliance ran pre-emptive strikes against pirates, especially those targeting Council races. The Alliance was quick and especially quiet when going after batarian pirates, given the bad blood between the races and the regular threats from the Hegemony.

"Five-by-five, ma'am," the XO replied after a moment.

"Excellent. Now let's get this bird turned around," she said as they continued up the stairs.

She gave Joker a series of coordinates for Sharjila and told him to take the short route. The Alliance had forwarded her bits and pieces of intelligence on several people, places, and situations they wanted her to "look into", which usually translated into verbs and orders that usually did not fly well, even over secure channels. One thing was certain, the Normandy's inaugural cruise seemed likely to make a few people's heads turn, as well as being busy.

"Alenko. T'Soni. You'll be suiting up for this trip. We're going to ground in-" the commander looked at Pressly, her hand still on the console switch for the intercom which was broadcasting ship wide.

"Two hours and twelve minutes, ma'am."

"You heard the man. T-minus two hours. I'll see you both in the cargo bay."

iii.

Shepard was always the first one ready, so Lieutenant Alenko was not the least bit surprised to see her in the cargo bay when he arrived ten minutes prior to the prescribed time. He was, however, a little surprised to see the asari there. As such, he merely leaned against the Mako as Garrus scurried about, running the pre-drop checklist on the vehicle.

The commander sat perched atop the crates next to the chief's station, twirling that knife in her hands. He had not seen it come out in combat since that first visit to the Citadel during the incident outside Chora's Den, though Garrus mentioned her skewering some salarian once. Wrex had joked that all she managed to do was make him hungry by doing it. Shepard's mind seemed to be preoccupied, or maybe that was just his wishful thinking.

Shaking his head, he reminded himself if she even saw it, his attraction likely would not even make the list of things troubling her mind. So he observed, arms crossed tightly over his chest as he tried to appear relaxed. Liara yammered away, smiling and blinking those big blue eyes at Shepard. Something about the doctor set his teeth on edge. The rising tightness in his jaw went relatively unnoticed until Ashley appeared beside him, an audible sigh announcing her arrival.

"So, pirates, huh?" she asked absently, glancing over at him.

"Looks, like," Alenko replied tersely as he tore his eyes away from the flirtatious asari.

"Scans show anything good?"

He shook his head and winced, his eyes darting back to Shepard for a second, before moving to the turian's console sitting a few feet away. "Not really. Looks like a pretty standard pre-fab from the imaging, though the scans gave us nothing. Which only suggests they're running some decent tech."

"You worried at all?"

He looked at her quickly. "About?"

"Taking the good doctor, there. She's not exactly a commando with High Command."

"Evaluations say she can handle herself. She seemed pretty solid on Eletania-shouldn't be anything to worry about." He shrugged noncommittally.

"Except that all three of you are biotics," Ashley noted with a laugh. "It's like putting your eggs all in one basket."

The confidence in his smile seemed to surprise her. "If you're going to put them all somewhere, it is the place to go. Biotics can play off each other in some striking ways. You should peek over Joker's shoulder while we're on the ground-you might get a surprise or two watching that feed."

"I might just take you up on that," Williams replied with a laugh. "Good hunting, L-T."

Joker's voice rang through the cavernous space. "Ten minutes, Commander."

"That's my cue," the chief noted, punching his shoulder, before she crossed to the weapons locker.

With the announcement the commander sheathed the blade and slipped off the crates fluidly. The way she moved still took him by surprise; there was something graceful and delicate about the movements even when shrouded in thicker armor. Shepard's movement stopped the asari in mid-sentence and the sudden shift in the officer's demeanor seemed to rattle the demure alien. Kaidan strode across the deck to gather his weapons as well.

iv.

Shepard growled as she ducked back into cover. Liara glanced at her for a moment before the tech burst on the other side of the wall made the researcher instinctively cringe back.

"All right, that's enough dicking around," Shepard insisted as she rolled out of cover long enough to tug a man into the air.

Liara unconsciously gripped the wall when she felt it. A glance at the lieutenant and she knew she was not out of her mind. The way he leaned, eyes closing slightly as he fought the pull told her Alenko felt it, too.

"Ah, ha! Moving up," Shepard announced after a three round burst finished off the man she lifted.

Both the asari and the human male, laid down covering fire as the commander scrambled to a spot about twenty feet ahead them. When the little blonde popped up and threw a mercenary against a wall, Liara grabbed onto the lieutenant to steady herself against the forceful pulling sensation that seemed to accompany the commander's biotics.

"Is that her?" she whispered as she ducked behind a crate.

"I think so," Kaidan replied, popping a heat sync into his pistol.

"What is she doing?"

The lieutenant shook his head and shrugged. He overloaded a man trying to move around behind Shepard before moving in her direction himself. "Move up," Kaidan ordered, pulling Liara back to the situation.

Their enemies were dug in. The building offered a great deal of cover, which highly limited the success of Shepard's usual combat mechanics, which forced her to rely more heavily on her biotics. Once they neutralized the threat, Kaidan and Shepard searched the base for intelligence. Liara, however, occupied herself with trying to determine what happened earlier. Then she thought back on all the times she had accompanied the commander on missions.

"Goddess," she whispered, realizing that Shepard had never used her biotics when Liara was on the ground with the team.

"What's up?" Shepard asked from across the room as she downloaded the data off computer system the slaver had there.

"Umm … Nothing. I think," Liara replied slowly, her eyes darting from one officer to the other and back to the commander.

Shepard's eyes moved from the asari to Alenko, trying to pick up on something she might have missed. "Oh-kay."

Alenko unlatched the door of the wall safe he hacked open. "I think she just realized how often you don't use your biotics, ma'am."

Shepard furrowed her brow at him. "So?"

"Are you aware that you project your field quite wildly?" Liara asked rather demurely.

"Excuse me?" Nyx choked, turning from the safe.

"I think it saps your power. I mean when you lifted that one gentleman you really only got him a few feet off the ground."

"A few feet was all I needed to get my shot," the commander replied dead pan, crossing her arms over her chest rather defensively.

"She's right," Kaidan agreed carefully, looking over at Shepard, while backing the asari's assessment.

The commander turned her head slowly and glared at him. He laughed lightly and held his hands up in mock surrender.

"Has anyone ever suggested that you have an issue with your precision?" Liara queried.

Kaidan nodded as if to confirm that it had been noted in the past. Or perhaps he merely agrees that her control is lacking.

Shepard sighed. "Can we clear this place? The two of you can evaluate me later, somewhere where we're less likely to be shot at?"

v.

Despite her friendships with Liara and Kaidan, Shepard could not wait to get out of the Mako after they returned from Sharjila. Each of them was strikingly powerful, and well versed in biotic theory. Both were also very opinionated, the commander learned on the return to the Normandy. Dahlia Dantius' growing slavery ring's activities had been curtailed, but the two biotics were more focused on their evaluation of Shepard's biotic abilities than the intelligence that suggested her association with other independent bands of raiders passing through the sector. Her teammates distraction left the commander suddenly feeling like she was stuck somewhere between her old asari tutor Ceramea and her Alliance trainer Petra Vanek.

While it started in the pirate stronghold, it picked back up immediately after reentering the Mako. By the time they returned to the ship, they were no longer lecturing the commander at least. Instead, both directed their assertions toward one another. The argument was no longer about what her failures as a biotic were; they debated over how to best help her overcome it. Her shortcomings were the only thing the pair agreed upon.

"The amount of power she is putting into her movements is making them unpredictable and bordering on the uncontrollable. She needs to begin refocusing on precision," Liara repeated, for about the third time by Shepard's count, as the asari hopped out of the Mako.

Shepard escaped next, and really thought of it in those terms. Usually she was the last person out of the Mako when they returned to the ship, but Nyx needed not to be in the middle of that fight any longer. The commander was slowly losing her ability to listen. Their discussion of her biotics ran non-stop for the thirty minutes it took the team to rendezvous with the Normandy.

Kaidan followed, elaborating on his opinion much more calmly. "You cannot completely retrain someone from scratch in the middle of a combat situation. You just have to refine it in increments. Trying to rewrite it all from the beginning would be futile. Otherwise every time she went back in the field, she would fall back into what she's done all along. It would negate any progression made, leaving her right back at square one again."

Wrex and Garrus looked at the commander who had silently crossed the bay toward the lockers in order to disarm. Shepard shrugged and mouthed, "What?"

"It is clear that the only way Shepard can regain control and better utilize her substantial power is by completely retraining her mind to use her biotics properly." The doctor's tone suggested she was adamant.

Before the Lieutenant could make a retort, Wrex slammed a big hand on the metal containers behind him, interrupting the discussion and drawing all eyes to him. "Shepard's fine. She can take 'em down however they come. Leave it at that."

Everyone just looked around the room for a second without a word.

"Debrief in twenty," the commander announced, laying her pistol on the table near the chief. Nyx retreated across the space without another word until she made the decision. She topped, pointed at the two biotics, and stated, "And if either of you says anything about my biotics in the next forty-eight hours, you're sleeping in the Mako for a month."

She turned and stepped onto the elevator. Her first stop, as usual was the showers, where she considered the argument she had been unable to escape. It was a criticism she had heard from the start. Anytime her biotics were evaluated there were always the same lines: lack of precision and bleeding magnitude. It mostly went unnoticed in the field because she had always been the only biotic on her teams. Occasionally she worked with them, but it had been rare in her specialty.

No matter how many times she heard it, Shepard never really had the occasion or desire to address it. Working with two powerful biotics might offer the chance she was never willing to take in the past. Of course, she decided, she would speak with them one-on-one. That fight was not something she wanted to restart. Speaking to each in turn might curtail the revitalization of that argument, because there was no chance in hell Shepard would broach the subject in front of the pair of them again.

None of the criticisms or conversations about the prowess of their fellows had ever taken the bent that Dr. T'Soni and Lieutenant Alenko's conversation had. It was a little strange to see the two that everyone counted among the calmest of them all reacting so vehemently. Shepard chalked it up to their desire to help compounded by the strength of their conviction and belief in their chosen method.

Regardless of why they were both so intent, she was entirely serious about her threat. Nyx's relationship with her biotics was tenuous at best; she did not seem destined to become the shining example of vanguard prowess that her Alliance trainer or her asari tutor had wanted. And after sitting between two arguing biotics for near on an hour, the commander had heard enough on that subject for the foreseeable future.

vi.

The Normandy's arrival on the Citadel went mainly overlooked. The crew received a shift of leave, which was all the one-day turn around could accommodate. That time would also allow for a full resupply while the Alliance offloaded the unexpected cargo the team picked up on Edolus. Shepard and her team had located Kahoku's men and she made the decision on the ground that they would forego standard procedure and return the remains to the Alliance themselves. It had created a bit of a tense situation between Shepard and Wrex, but that worked itself out as those things usually did. Pressly and Adams remained on board left to handle turning over that precious cargo, while Shepard donned her blues and took on the task of delivering the news to the admiral.

This type of conversation was not one she relished, but it was a necessary evil of command. This notification was neither her first, nor would it be the last time she would have to dispense that type of news. It was a burden she bore with the dignity and respect due the men who had perished on that planet. The circumstances, however, still hung in the back of her mind even as Kahoku tersely thanked her for doing what she could. The admiral seemed more agitated than expected and said he would keep in touch before he dismissed her to attend to his own declarations. Shepard knew from experience, that of the announcements to be made in this matter hers had been the easiest by far.

Despite wearing her blues, the commander wandered around the wards for a while, just to have some time off the ship. Her walk took her past the outlook and through the markets, but she wound up standing in the presence of the mass effect relay statue on the Presidium. Nyx could just barely sense that strangely comforting hum as her mind turned to evaluations of her teammates once again.

Having spoken to Dr. T'Soni before she left the ship, Shepard knew the asari felt a comprehensive retaining process would be the best option to overwrite the bad behaviors Nyx exhibited in the use of her biotics. Just thinking about the process the asari had suggested made the commander's head spin.

Shepard still barely thought of herself as a biotic, it was not something she ever concentrated or relied on. Too often, she knew, it was something she turned to as a last resort. Part of her determined long ago that this trend was due, at least, in part to the ways people had reacted to her when they found out. Hell, it had been the way she reacted to herself, when she found out. While most of the people she worked with took it in stride once they saw it and experienced it, and others simply ignored it while remaining concerned and nervous about her, there were those who responded negatively or with extreme prejudice. Early on in her career, Shepard even had one soldier remove his consideration for her team when he found out she was amped.

Nyx was heartily aware of the ways she used her biotics and the evaluations of the same. She had been a crack shot since the age of twelve; she had foolish dreams of laying hands on a sniper tab. At least until she turned fifteen, when she found out she showed "biotic potential." She was implanted shortly thereafter, just a few years before she enlisted. It was at that point she thought her whole future felt like it had crashed down around her feet.

Surprisingly, the person that had been most against Nyx's career goals was the one that went out of her way to try and save them. Her mother, Hannah, had found the Asari tutor, Ceramea-former mercenary vanguard, extremely powerful, and a raging bitch. A nearly sixteen-year-old girl with a soft spot for guns of all types and big dreams of joining the Marines was not the most open and willing biotic student. To no one's surprise, Shepard was not much better about it when she went through the Alliance's vanguard training. Her substantial power and the implanting pegged Nyx as a versatile biotic, or so her file read, though it was not evident in her tactics or combat style. The instructors all claimed Nyx had a great deal of ability, but Shepard only ever saw her biotics as supplemental to her other skills.

She leaned up and let her eyes travel the lines of the relay wishing she could put the idea out of her mind. Wondering why the issue stuck in her brain, Shepard pushed her hands against the metal banister she had been leaning on. In part, she thought it was this place. Being on the Citadel just reminded her that she was a Spectre now, beyond everything else she had to contend with. New expectations might call for the reconsideration of her outlook.

"Commander?"

There was hesitance in the familiar voice that made her stiffen in response. "Lieutenant. Good to see you're taking a little time off the ship."

"Yeah," he said, laughing lightly. She noticed him take in the uncommon uniform. "Think I was experiencing some of that stir crazy you mentioned."

Shepard nodded with a wide smile as she tapped the toe of her shoe against the glass. "So, what brings you to the Presidium?"

"It's quieter than the wards," he observed, leaning on the railing, his eyes raking over the relay in miniature.

"That it is."

"You?"

"Delivered the news to Kahoku."

"Oh. Sorry. That can't have been an easy conversation."

Shepard turned and leaned her back against the glass balustrade. "I think he was expecting it. But even given that, it is never easy to have that conversation. Even when it's just telling the C-O; letters to the family are worse. By far, the hardest has to be putting the flag in their loved one's hands, though. But it's always like they've said it for too long: if everyone doesn't come home, none of us can ever fully come home," she said, concluding any further discussion on that topic.

Neither of them was too concerned with the silence swirling around them. It was oddly comfortable, which made Shepard straighten and tense up.

"When's the ban up?" Kaidan asked playfully, wearing a mischievous grin.

Nyx just closed her eyes and shook her head at the artificial sky. "Do you really think it's that bad?"

"Well, it's not as bad as your driving," he started and she punched him in the shoulder gently. He chuckled in response. "Come on now."

The commander grinned a little.

"Maybe bad is the wrong word," he began again, turning toward her and leaning against the railing. "It's uncontrolled. Just a bit wild. Which runs counter to everything else about you."

"You sure about that, Lieutenant?" she asked with a flirtatious lift of her eyebrow. Nyx regretted it as soon as the words came out of her mouth, but tried not to show it outwardly.

He glanced up at her, with a sly smile that prompted her to turn her attention elsewhere as she mentally chastised herself. He just felt too comfortable, she realized. Standing there with him, talking; it was too easy to be around him, to just be herself around him. It never felt like he expected a particular response or anything from her, really. After stealing a glance in his direction, Kaidan seemed to be unaware of her distraction or maybe he was just ignoring it, though she hoped for the former.

When he continued, Alenko's tone was measured, as if unperturbed by her comment, which made Nyx breath a little easier. "You're a consistently high caliber marksman," he said, his eyes on hers, "qualified on nearly every type of weapon in the Alliance's arsenal. You're martial prowess is well-documented. And I'll be honest, I've never heard of, let alone seen, anyone take down a turian the way you did in the wards."

"That was all Nihlus."

"Might have been his information, but the execution was all yours," Alenko argued.

"That wasn't much more than a standard takedown, and just remembering the right place to put the blade," she explained, trying to remove the extraordinary from that event.

Alenko straightened, making her shift in response in order to keep eye contact. "Well that's what I'm saying. You are precise, controlled, and skilled in all aspects of your combat, except your biotics. And I think some of that wildness saps the power and result you could be getting. You're, by far, one of the most powerful biotics I've ever seen. But that uncontrolled field is eating up your effectiveness."

Shepard nodded. It was the first time anyone had put it quite that way. "All right. I'll bite." He just looked at her for a moment so she asked, "So, how would you address it? Fix me, Lieutenant."

Nyx closed her eyes for a moment and tilted her head away. She knew she should be more judicious in her conversations with him. But she felt comfortable around him and in the moment she just acted with him the way it felt natural to, like she did with everyone else. It's just in this case, what felt natural was also against Alliance regulations and highly frowned upon.

vii.

Lieutenant Alenko turned back toward the statue, gripping the balustrade for a moment before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the balustrade. "I've only done a little bit of research," he lied, but he figured his commanding officer would prefer not to know that the lieutenant had been looking into ways of addressing this exact issue since their little sparring match. "But the most successful route seems to be in a technique they simply refer to as honing. Think of it like sharpening a blade, you draw it to a finer and sharper edge. Slowly and steadily, you guide your power into a more efficient effect."

"And one would go about this how?" Shepard asked as she studied him.

"It's equivalent rote memorization, like with tables in basic math or learning to dance. You learn the steps, the basics first, which you already have. Then keep doing it. Changing it minutely, making it fit your needs, your style. And eventually you're tripping the light fantastic," he started, casting a tentative smile in her direction before easily falling into the discussion on the research he had been doing.

"The biggest difference between biotics and everything else is the field. But that can be equalized by focus. The sharper your attention when repeating the abilities should naturally help you channel it better and reduce some of that power bleed. But the repetition is the key. Just do it over and over again until the ability is completely directed at your target. Thereby lessening the field projected. Then all, well most, of the power will be funneled into the ability and you won't bleed a massive field and freak people out," he suggested, letting his grin widen.

Nyx returned the smile and nodded thoughtfully as she started to stroll up the walk, Kaidan followed. They talked procedure and theory for a while as they rambled along the pristine walkways of the Presidium. Kaidan was able to comfortably lose himself in the conversation about the methodology and his research. These were the types of exchanges that offered him the most confusion later. He knew eventually they would stop just being two people and be reminded of precisely what and who they were beyond that moment, which would be the point when the luxury of relaxed conversation would end.

"In the end, biotics is like anything else really, outside of the headjack. The more you practice, the more you use it, the better the field control will become." Kaidan shrugged. "I think if you used your abilities more in combat it could help, too."

Shepard nodded with a trace of a wince. "I know. I've heard that enough times before."

"Why don't you?"

"I'm not entirely sure," she replied, stopping near an empty bench and sitting down.

She sat forward a bit and crossed her ankles, before folding her hands delicately in her lap. Waiting for her to continue, the Lieutenant studied her posture. While the finesse and agility remained in her movements, there was something uncharacteristically demure about it.

The look he cast him when she tilted her head up toward him, froze him to that spot. "I kind of always knew where I was going, you know? I had this grand plan."

Certainty, like the kind she spoke of, was something Kaidan had never really known, especially in terms of his future. So much of his life seemed to happen to him, rather than him choosing this path or that. Despite this, he nodded anyway. It was easier to feign awareness than trying to explain.

"Even before my dad gave up his field work and went ship-side, I knew this was where I was headed." She chuckled distractedly as she ran one hand along the hem of her skirt, tugging at it lightly before returning to her lap. "Pissed my mom off to no end."

Her blue eyes met his. The playful sparkle intensified when they widened, as she continued with a little laugh. "Her head almost exploded when I responded to her question about what I wanted to do for my ninth birthday."

"How so?" he asked, unable to contain the smile that bloomed in response to her.

"Told her I wanted to go to the shooting range. It was then she found out that Da had let me take lessons from the Security Chief on the boat he'd been assigned to. God, she was so mad." Shepard shook her head and smiled up at the artificial sky above them.

"So this must be like living the dream?" Kaidan observed, sitting near her but leaving an appropriate amount of distance between them after he gave it a moment of thought.

"It was," she said a little reservedly.

When he glanced over at her, the brightness in her eyes faded. "I figured all this would be right up your alley."

"Seems to be a common thought," she said darkly. The silence stretched for a few moments, and Kaidan was completely uncertain how to proceed or if he even should. But, thankfully Shepard spared him. "When I was a six, I announced to my family I'd be a marine. By twelve, I'd picked my specialty. At fourteen my father asked me what I wanted most. You know what I told him?" she asked, glancing to her right.

Kaidan shook his head. "What?"

"An N7 tab," she replied, unable to hold back the careful but proud smile. "I had it all laid out in my head. I got lucky in the end, with the timing, but I had a plan. Of course a year after I made my grand declaration, I thought it was all over."

"When you were detected?" he asked, recalling their earlier conversation. Her eyes shot to his, she seemed to be surprised that he remembered.

"Yeah." When she turned slightly on the bench, facing him more, Kaidan decided to do the same, laying his arm across the back of the bench. "I'd always been a freak-one of the outsiders. I mean, I literally, spent my life training for this."

"So, you're saying you're part turian?"

She laughed lightly and he beamed in response. "Something like that. On the ships, sometimes I was the only kid. People liked my Da, so they watched out for me, too. And I wanted to learn anything anyone would teach me-programming, marksmanship, even military history and philosophy. Hell, I learned hand-to-hand from an old chief with six daughters of his own after he saw a few of the boys picking on me."

Kaidan could not imagine it, it seemed lonely. The idea of being the only kid, even on a ship the size of the Normandy, seemed like it would have been daunting. In the changes in her tone of voice he could sense the joy and the struggle. There were definitely some things about her childhood that she seemed to savor, but it was also clear that it was just like anyone's upbringing and had its downs, too.

"Then that damned doctor." Nyx placed her hands on the bench, leaning on them, as she looked out at the lakes. "He was so nonchalant about the whole thing. 'Mr. and Mrs. Shepard, I'm sure you've already noticed' …" Shepard shook her head. "Then he told them that I was a prime candidate for amping and that it should be done as soon as possible for the best possible result. I didn't want it," she admitted, turning her head and meeting Kaidan's gaze again, her chin resting on her shoulder.

"Doc sold it hard though. Then my mother mentioned something about the service, and the guy knew he had his hook. Told us the Alliance wouldn't touch a candidate with biotic potential who wasn't amped."

"Son of a bitch," Kaidan muttered. He realized it had been out loud when the smile curled her lips.

"My thoughts exactly."

The doctor's claim was not entirely true. Kaidan had met a few people in the service that were exposed to Element Zero and developed biotic ability. Some of whom were either considered too old to amp by the time the potential was discovered, or they had simply managed to avoid the procedure. But it was nowhere near a requirement. Sadly, a lot of doctors still tried to make the amps look like the only viable option, despite the possible side effects still associated with the devices.

"Is that when your asari commando came into the picture?" the lieutenant asked.

"Not at first. I went through a bit of a bitch phase first," she said with a clipped laugh as she turned back to the water. "Figured my future was over. And even after I met Ceramae, I still thought everything I planned out couldn't possibly happen." She chewed at her bottom lip for a long time before she continued. "She basically told me biotics could be another tool. Guess she was as good a salesman as the doc. She got me to want to learn it."

"But you didn't buy into it all?"

Her sharp eyes were on him again. "No. I'd seen one or two of them in some of the teams that came through my dad's medbay. Biotics were outsiders, hell, still are outsiders-on the fringe. I'd spent my whole life there, and I wasn't looking to keep going along that path."

"In a way you were. You wanted things that were bound to put you on the cusp," Alenko observed. The look in her eyes was a mix of shock and understanding. He shifted slightly and leaned toward her. "You didn't just go looking for a combat specialty, you went special warfare. Not a lot of …," he halted for a moment before he voiced the sad but still too true statement. "Not a lot of women go out for that gig, even fewer make the cut. And your brass ring was N7. Come on, Shepard."

"Being on the outside because you worked your ass off is one thing. Being on the outside because people were afraid of you is wholly another." She shifted away from him slightly and her voice held a note of disdain for the idea.

"People are scared of you," he chided, his eyes moving along the tranquil surface of the lakes. "They'd be stupid not to be. That's why the Council chose you. Even if they didn't think humanity was ready, they could see you were. Your reputation precedes you. Strong, dedicated, capable-you get the job done. And I'll be honest there are times I've wondered how you achieve it myself." He shook his head at his hands. "There were people digging for dirt on Saren for years, like Garrus. You managed to find it and clip his wings in a matter of days."

"It's not talent when the chips fall on the table just as you get there," she muttered at the distance.

Alenko tipped his head. "Maybe not. But it takes something special to grab them up and run the table with them."

Shepard stood and walked over to the glass retaining wall a few feet away.

"I never thought about it before but it's got to be hell for you," Kaidan noted.

"What?" Shepard asked over her shoulder.

"All this," he replied, standing and gesturing at the calmness around them. "You had what you went out for-what you wanted."

"Yep," she said, as he joined her at the edge of the walkway and looked down into the water. "Then someone decided to throw my name in the proverbial hat. One I didn't even know existed. And here we all are-chasing a turian Spectre no one can find a stitch of information on. Making it all up on the fly."

"You're pretty good at it though." He chose not to look at her when he noticed her head turn out of the corner of his eye. Kaidan preferred not know if she was wavering again. He just wanted to enjoy the conversation while it lasted. "I've never been quite that adept at planning things out."

"Me either. If you haven't noticed, all my plans seem to go to hell."

"You nailed the big ones."

"True enough." She leaned on one arm and looked over at him. "So, how did you wind up here? Since I've been so forthcoming."

"This was always the plan, once Conatix stopped by for afternoon tea with my parents, at least."

"You didn't have big dreams about going space and discovering the unknown. Saving the galaxy from pirates and evil. And stuff." Shepard's eyes were bright; her tone was joyful and unhampered. Even the way she moved seemed more fluid than it had moments earlier, as if in that moment there was nothing weighing on her. It was nice to see.

Kaidan laughed light-heartedly. "I guess I read those stories and saw those vids. You know, man goes to space to prove himself worthy of the woman he loves. Or for justice. Or something," he replied nervously, trying to backpedal. "But I didn't know what I wanted. I was still figuring it all out. And after … after the procedure it didn't seem to matter much anymore. Things were kind of laid out for me. Gagarin Station-BAaT, which promised a commission after."

"So that's it? That's the whole story?"

When he glanced back at her, she was looking at Kaidan like she actually saw him. Her smile was relaxed; she seemed content. Some of the tension that always seemed to be present around her eyes and in her stance was less prominent than usual, or so his observation suggested. Alenko did not want to spoil that, and deep down he worried whether Shepard would be able to look at him the same way if she knew about his past. Everyone he knew looked at him differently once they found out what really happened to him on that station, what he had done. His attention returned to the water. If he were honest with himself, Kaidan would prefer Shepard not look at him the way everyone else did, like a section 8 waiting to happen. He knew he could not handle her pitying him.

"Mostly," Alenko concluded with a shrug after his moment of reflection.

"When you said you were a career man, I just sort of figured you came at it the way I did. Just that thing you always saw yourself doing."

"Hell, I figured growing up on ships, it was forced on you," he retorted, finally looking back over at her.

"Oh, not even. Mom and my Móraí, my grandmother, were dead set against it from the first time I said anything. Once they found out about the shooting lessons, I had to trade etiquette classes for range time."

"Seriously?" Kaidan laughed, leaning on the balustrade again. "Like which fork to use and place settings and things?"

"Yep. The whole nine," she disclosed with a laugh. He found it a little hard to believe, though it did make some things a little clearer, like the deliberate way she sat down earlier and the strict carriage. "Oh. I even have proof. Class ran late one day, this was during Da's leave and I think we were on Arcturus, though it could have been Exeter"-she shook her head as she tapped at her omnitool-"no matter."

His draw dropped, literally; he could hardly believe what he was seeing. Kaidan grabbed her hand, and pulled her closer to get a clear view of the image she had punched up-she must have been ten, maybe twelve, hair tied up like she wore it now, in a carefully crafted bun. It was accentuated by little pearl drop earrings, lace gloves, tights and short buckled heels, but the dress. The dress made the picture. It was a fluffy mountain of frills-all ruffles, lace, and bows. Then there was the Edge pistol she held in a two-handed grip. The weapon seemed massive in her hands and so out of place taken in light of everything else.

"My Da took it," she revealed with mirth in her voice.

When he looked down at her, those big blue eyes blinked back up at him. For a moment his brain muddled, she was pressed against him with one hand on his back, as his arm lay draped over hers; while her other hand was clasped tightly in his. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to close the few inches distance between them, to press his lips to hers, but the stark white letters of the N7 tab on her uniform slammed his brain back into gear.

Alenko cleared his throat as he untangled them and released her hand. She tapped the interface closed, her shoulders straightening. The lieutenant knew in that moment that the easy conversation between the man and the woman who happened upon one another on the Presidium was over; the officers' personae replaced the casual interaction with something more structured, even though the topic did not change right off.

"He said it was proof of my determination."

"I'll say," Kaidan agreed.

"When he sent my mom a copy, she flipped. Yelling about me getting gun oil on the dress or something else as inane," Shepard added.

Watching the stiffness and tension return to her movements, as they continued the walk that started earlier, Kaidan wanted nothing more than to stay locked in that limbic space with her, where they could just be two people, rather than two officers in the same chain of command. A part of his brain argued that she was a Spectre-it was an argument he had with himself before. He clipped it off before it started. Spectre or not, Shepard was Alliance first. He had seen signs of that more than enough times since the little impromptu ceremony in the Citadel Tower. She still introduced herself as Commander Shepard, only rarely did she mention her Spectre status. So Alenko resolved to just enjoy barest remnants of the moment while they lasted, which he presumed might continue until they reached the elevator that lead to C-Sec HQ and the Normandy's berth.