TWENTY

BLAST FROM THE HEART

Note: Again, apologies for the late update, due to some unforeseen circumstances I wasn't able to finish this chapter on time. But for overall progress, this chapter comes 2 months early since the original plan is to release this chapter around Valentine 2016. So even though I "slack" the last 2 months, overall I am ahead schedule.

Reply Corner

Johca: Thank you!

jdoug4118: At this point Saskia didn't know what really happened. She didn't know which one was telling the truth, so she went with her guts. This chapter explains a little bit about it.

New Helic City,
Central Continent, Planet Zi,
February 24, 2128

Racing back to New Helic City in a stolen buggy was not Saskia's choice. It was the first time she had to abandon a zoid, and she felt terrible. A zoid was more than just a machine. It was a complex bio-machine, complete with a "beating" heart and loyalty to serve its partner. Some would even swear that zoids had souls. And to leave all that in the field of battle felt undignified. It was wrong.

But considering the situation, the Leostriker was already dead before she left it. It had no energy left even to walk. Utilizing the Leostriker as a diversion was the only thing she could do. Saskia didn't know if the Leostriker had the tenacity of her Gilvader, but she thought the lion zoid would be proud to serve her to the last end.

Which brought her to another matter: was Royce worthy of the life of the Leostriker? Zoids exuded only loyalty and honesty. They didn't have the capacity to tell lies. Humans, like Royce, were of completely different nature. Saskia thought she knew her traveling partner well, but in half an hour everything she believed in turned out to be lies. Or were they? Did he or did he not tell the truth?

Saskia wished everything was as simple as dealing with zoids.

"The most esteemed handiwork of a zoid fighter, to unlock the secret of Fuzors," Royce blabbered, consumed by the thrill of fuzor. "Mind conceived but the truth: the zoids' senses of danger trigger Fuzor sequence! Behold, Command Striker! Did eyes catch its gleaming power ripping heart from Cassiopeia's sundered chest? Did heart swell as cannons roared and enemies took flight like roaches? Did mind comprehend what this mean?" He grabbed Saskia's shoulder and pulled her close. "You and me, champions of Zi! We shall stand titans above all zoid fighters! Nothing comes in our way!"

"We are no champions," Saskia shrank away from Royce. "We are defeated and absent zoids."

"An honorable feat, considering our first attempt," Royce scoffed harshly. "We must procure experience to press advantage against Cassiopeia and the other hag! Fuzor is strong yet brief. Much is needed to stretch its life span to secure victories."

"Much more is needed to secure zoids," Saskia mumbled incoherently. "Another respite in pressing toward primary goals."

"You're unimpressed by our achievement?" Royce shot an irritated stare at Saskia.

"Achievement?" Saskia shook her head. "What achievement? We have none. We lost the battle."

"We gave life to Fuzor!" Royce yelled.

"We still lost!" Saskia yelled back. "Fuzor is awesomely mindblowing but it is a mere jest, a pale shadow of trust and teamwork! And you are so disturbingly blinded by the glimmer of Fuzor that you still think we have won the battle!"

Royce suddenly slammed the brakes. The tires screeched as the buggy snaked left and right. Saskia grabbed her chair tightly, grimacing as the buggy twisted around as if trying to throw her out. As soon as the buggy stopped moving, Royce jumped out and dragged Saskia. He slammed her onto the buggy and pinned her, his breaths hot against her face.

"What is your meaning?" Royce growled. "That we have no trust?"

"Do we?" Saskia tried to match Royce's intensity but she was a little taken aback by Royce's sudden roughness. "Everything you have told me is no longer true!"

"And all of these because of… what? Cassiopeia's fabrication of truth? You heard her once and set heart to accept words as fact? Far removed from everything we went through?" Royce hit the frame of the buggy so hard Saskia thought he broke it. "Your loyalty is as deep as a mud pool after a deluge, Saskia! It dries up upon the first sunshine!"

"Honesty gives voice to trust, and trust gives voice to loyalty!" Saskia saw the opportunity to lash Royce for everything he put her through. "I have nothing of sort from you."

"I have never doubted your integrity!" Royce hissed. "And I expect equal regards from you!"

"And I defended you at every turn, yet the longer I walk by your side, the farther away I stand removed!" Saskia leaned away from Royce with a heavy sigh. "I regard you a titan, towering above all priorities, but you put me on a pedestal of doubt and leave me to take plunge alone. You made it difficult to honor our bond."

"What do you make of me? A liar?"

"What spurs your intent toward me?" Saskia stared deep into Royce's eyes.

"None of sort," Royce backed up. "Your zoid was the only one to serve my purpose, to see it fall into proper hands, and not the Neo Zenebas partisans." He paused briefly. "I told you this first time we met. Having me to recite my objective again doesn't make it more or less true."

"Cassiopeia said you were after my zoid…"

"Cassiopeia said anything to procure advantage," Royce growled. "You don't switch allegiance at the whim of random claims, least of all a serpent's like Cassiopeia!"

"She merely confirmed doubt. Your actions deny own account."

"A meager misunderstanding, born of mistaken intent."

"Then shed light for me," Saskia sighed. "After the first encounter with Cassiopeia you rushed to move out of the city, disregarding your own well being, to race Cassiopeia to Wolff Muroa. Yet we found a Leostriker and you forwent our mission and paid every minute detail to raise Fuzor, to the point you pay no more regards to our mission."

"Fuzor helped us survive against Cassiopeia, should we met again. I merely prepared us for upcoming confrontation."

"At the cost of time and opportunity. If we were to keep moving with two zoids, Cassiopeia would never catch up with us. Your decision to stay and learn Fuzor allowed her to cut us off here."

"I did what was best for us."

"Yet Fuzor didn't help us much, did it?"

"It helped us dispatch Cassiopeia. We failed to beat the other one because we didn't know that Fuzor had a time limit. Victory was within grasps. It slipped because we lacked the understanding of it. Next time we shall come out as victors."

"Next time Cassiopeia knows the undoing of Fuzors," Saskia shook her head in desperation. Despite the limited success of the Command Striker against the Arosaurer, Royce seemed to stick with it. It made her mad, knowing that she would have to use the same formula that has been proven ineffective. "If we use the same maneuver, she will kill us both. For the last time, Royce, leave Fuzors behind and move forward on foot. It is easier for us to move around absent zoids."

"I would not see us finish mission absent zoids!" Royce snarled.

"Are we still of a singular mission, or has its purpose slipped from head's grasp?" Saskia growled back, almost as menacingly. "We are nigh invisible absent zoids. Cassiopeia will be hard-pressed to track us down."

"You want to infiltrate Neo Zenebas base absent zoids?" Royce scoffed.

"We'll find a way…"

"Your head is reaching beyond reason," Royce miffed. "Foolish Saskia, talking in vanity and valor, only to find self lacking. Any military base, even the pettiest one, is equipped with identification radars capable of sniffing enemy presence, man or zoid, from miles away. They will vaporize you long before you can find an entrance."

"Then call in reinforcement," Saskia rebuked, irritated by Royce's lack of respect. "If you are still among Rottiger's rank, call in your brothers in arms once we spot the Neo Zenebas base. Isn't it what Rottiger's created to do? To destroy the Neo Zenebas? What stops you from said action?"

Royce didn't reply immediately. He backed up a little, giving Saskia some space, and averted his eyes. Saskia remembered Cassiopeia saying that Royce was not a Rottiger agent anymore. In fact, both Royce and Cassiopeia claimed that the other one had been discharged from Rottiger. But Royce never attempted contact with Rottiger, while Cassiopeia at least made a claim that she used Rottiger's assets in her pursuits.

"Words got stuck in throat, and the accompanying truth with them," Saskia pushed forward. "You are no longer with Rottiger, are you, Royce?"

Royce let out a long, exasperated sigh. "Not after this mission is over."

"What meaning do you insinuate?" Saskia frowned. "This mission is illegal?"

"This mission does not even exist. I own all action. I learnt the fact that Neo Zenebas leader Wolff Muroa was doing secret experiments. I pitched this information to Rottiger brass, but got spurned over Rottiger conventional approach to seek and destroy Neo Zenebas pockets all around Zi. I went on with my mission, and upon knowing Rottiger dispatched Cassiopeia to bring me back for court martial.

"Now you know why I did not attempt contact with Rottiger assets. There's a bounty on my head, and Rottiger agents all over Zi are on the lookout for me."

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Saskia grimaced.

"Would you see yourself with a Rottiger runaway? Would you aid my cause, knowing I was a wanted man? You would see me as nothing but a brigand making attempt at your zoid, like Fat Bob your nemessis."

"I still prefer honesty."

"I merely did it to protect you."

"Protect me?" Saskia scoffed. She liked the idea that Royce wanted to protect her, but still he shouldn't have started by lying. Nothing good ever came out of lies. "Protect me from what?"

"From yourself," Royce huffed. "I read your profile. Your hands move absent mind. You sacrificed own career, even life, for your zoid. You could've had a brilliant career at Helic Military, yet you threw it all away in exchange of your Gilvader. You would do absolutely anything to get your zoid back. Absent reining, you would see your head dive straight into Neo Zenebas stronghold, and the decapitating of it."

"I thought you cared nothing of me," Saskia blurted.

"I didn't."

"Didn't?" Saskia noted Royce's use of past tense.

"I didn't. Yet I saw some merits worth saving in you. You are resourceful. Not so much patience, but your ingenuity brought us this far. It would be a shame if said virtues are lost in the lacking of strategy and organization."

That was a bit disappointing. Saskia thought Royce finally talked about how he felt about her romantically. It was hard to believe that, after spending days and weeks fighting odds together, Royce didn't even show a scant sign of attraction toward her. Maybe it was his personality: he didn't mix business with pleasure. But he was romantically linked to Cassiopeia, the evil woman that tried to kill him. And he knew Cassiopeia for… what, a week, before he screwed her brains out? That wasn't even a fact, but in her state of mind, Saskia couldn't tell the difference anymore. Facts and lies had crossed the dividing line, far into each other's territory.

"Is that how you see Cassiopeia?" Saskia couldn't contain herself any longer. "Virtues worth having sex with?"

"Cassiopeia is a good Rottiger agent, the best I have ever commanded!" Royce flared. "The reason to keep her alive – and in use – rests with Rottiger! What we did in bed has nothing to do with who gets to ax whom! What is wrong with your system? Why is this important?"

"Allegiance defines the nature of relationship," Saskia replied cynically. "If we are to continue this collaboration, we must know where the other one stands."

"You know where I stand," Royce spat. "Even though I am not carrying Rottiger's banner, my mission stays true."

"Do you love Cassiopeia?"

"What?" Royce shook his head. "Of all questions about allegiance, that is what spurs your intent?"

"It's but a simple question. Do you love Cassiopeia, yes or no?"

"No, for Zi sake, no! I never loved her in the first place!"

"She seems to still hold flame for you…"

"And how did you come upon this?"

"I saw the chemistry between you two…"

"And you jealous?"

"No…" she replied, but immediately regretted her decision to lie. Was she jealous? Of course she was. She'd been developing a strong attraction to him for some time. Did she want Royce to know how she felt about him? Yes, but not like this. It was undignified to be caught red handed. She felt like a complete hypocrite, accusing Royce of dishonesty, and then lied to salvage her face. She invoked high standard and violated it at the same time.

"Now you hold tongue against me," Royce said as he came forward, seeing that Saskia actually kept a secret of her own. "Is it hypocrisy I sense, Saskia?"

"Alright, alright, I was jealous!" Saskia didn't see any other way to get around it, not without lying.

"So all these nonsense you have dumped upon my integrity… the questions about allegiance, the truth about my past… they are not entirely true, are they? You're just pissed off because I slept with Cassiopeia, aren't you, Saskia?"

Saskia's face turned as red as tomatoes. "Apologies," she muttered, half whispering. "The truth is… I uh… I have been… "

"Do you fancy me?" Royce blurted.

"I may… take… the liking of you…" Saskia buried her face in her palms. "But I give words, my feelings shall not affect professionalism and conduct on the field. I will regard you with the same honor and respect."

Royce leaned on the buggy, enjoying the view of Saskia sinking into her miserable self. It made her even worse; his eyes felt like stripping her off layer by layer until none of them left attached. And the moment of silent was torturing her with the absolution that never came. Not that she would like the absolution, whatever it might be.

"You should've told me earlier," finally Royce broke the silence.

"I can't," Saskia sighed heavily. "You will see me differently. Our synergy will fall."

"It will but release burden."

"Burden?" Saskia squinted. "Burden of what?"

"Burden of mood," Royce walked up to Saskia, piercing deep into her eyes with his stare. "I, too, take the liking of you."

"Oh my god…" Saskia felt her spine turned to mush. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears. All this time, her feelings for him was reciprocated. "But why hold tongue against me?"

"You loved zoid more than yourself. I didn't think you wanted human companion."

"Why… that is absurd," Saskia chuckled awkwardly. "I love my zoid yet I'm but flesh and blood."

"Then let us see this end denials," Royce advanced, ran his fingers on Saskia's dank hair, then lowered his face very slowly. Saskia's muscles turned so tensed she couldn't move at all, and just stood like a statue when Royce broke through her personal space. His breath was hot against her cheek, and when his lower lips grazed against her upper one, her breath got stuck in her throat. Royce parted his lips and gently mashed them against hers, creating a total body sensation for the inexperience young maiden. It was nothing like she had ever felt. Her eyes turned completely shut and she moaned into his mouth, but he swallowed her voice, putting his hands around her back to support her standing, since Saskia was clearly unable to do it by herself.

The kiss lasted only seconds but it took a minute for Saskia to regain her composure. She opened her eyes and saw Royce smiling inches away from her face. She knew she looked foolish in this state, but nothing else could be done. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"So what do we do next?" she asked clumsily.

"We go back to apartment, then I would see you filled with pleasure until voice left throat."

"That… that… that was not my meaning," Saskia's face turned red hot. "I mean, what would become of us? Our collaboration? Our work? Our mission?"

"Worry later," Royce led Saskia back to the buggy then started the engine. "Tonight, we love."

"But I know not what to do," Saskia whimpered. "I have not been in a man's companion before."

"No experience necessary," Royce winked. "Just relax and enjoy the journey. I shall take care of the rest."