Riley stood at the bathroom sink, staring at herself in the mirror, and not liking what she saw. She could not help comparing herself to the elegant forms of both Elena and Paige; both of which always seemed regally serene and perfect. Every one of Paige's deep brown hairs in place, her lipstick a glossy slash of red on flawless skin, while Elena's easy going approach meant her hair always seemed to do what she asked. The image Riley saw in the mirror was neither peaceful nor unblemished. Her hair was as wild as a banshee's, her red coils overwhelming a face that was pale and strained. 'I'm not myself.' She thought. 'Have I changed so much that I no longer recognise my own reflection? When did I turn into this stranger?'
Another memory of her tormenting nightmare washed though her mind and she closed her eyes, fighting to forget the images, resisting them as fiercely as though her life depended on it. Sheer willpower couldn't hold back the inevitable. Her mind was overcome with the pictures of her dreams, the feeling of the hooded figure's hands on her bare skin made her shiver and convulse while his words speared her heart like a hunter's spear catching his prey. Riley just rested her hands to the porcelain sink, her head resting to the cold object as she leant back to try and clear her head.
She lingered there with her head hung over the basin, not yet daring to leave the security of the bathroom. Thinking: I've been plagued with dreams for the last year, please just let me sleep. When her frantic mind finally calmed, she felt so drained she sat down in the corner of the bathroom by the wall, slumped sideways as her elbow rested on the closed lid of the toilet as she rested her forehead on her hand.
She thought back to the conversation she had shared with her pack earlier that evening. All the conflicting prospects in how to deal with this situation still nerved her, the frustrations of trying to tease out any useful information from this community of people who classed them as outsiders, or a police department who categorized Jeremy and his family as number one suspects. But she knew that they had plenty of leg work in front of them, the exhaustion of finding vital evidence that the police had missed due to their more sensitive senses meant she would have a great deal of work laid out in front of her; she would follow Jeremy's orders or obey commands given to her from Elena and Clay, after all she was anything but an alpha or beta within the Pack hierarchy.
Safe to say she wasn't the most skilled when it came to hunting. She didn't have a sensitive nose like Elena, she didn't have the strength like Clayton and Antonio and she wasn't like Nick when it came to keeping an open mind and being used as bait. Instead, she found her strength in books, in knowledge and being able to be as emotionally composed and detached; strengths that didn't necessarily help the pack when it came to bringing down the perpetrator.
But then, if someone walked in on her now, seeing the turmoil on her face Riley would shriek back, lock down all emotional barriers and refuse anyone to see how she was really feeling. That was how she dealt with things and she also knew that was the reason why she felt more alone than ever, even when she was locked in a room with hundreds of people. She knows she pushes people away and right now she wished she could finally let someone in.
Riley wanted to see Nick, more like needed to see him. He was the only one who knew about her dreams and how they were slowly become more of a problem. He would provide her with the outsiders point of view that she cherished, he could aid in trying to come up with some sort of answer and most of all he would not judge her, he would not say she was being ingenuous and he would give her the comfort she wanted, but interrupting his sleep at three in the morning would not be very considerate of her.
At last, Riley straightened and stepped out from the bathroom. Her head felt clear now, her stomach and mind settled; the ghost of the old Riley creeping back into its skin. She knew she needed a few more hours of sleep, to clear her mind of any and all her troubles and sleep until the sun rose, but as she looked towards her unmade bed the young Doctor was too awake to even consider sleeping. Riley just crept towards her bedroom door, her small fingers curling around the freezing metal and grimaced when the handle seemed to squeal like a terrified wild boar.
As the sound echoed through the vacant hallways and rooms of the building Riley had to concentrate her hearing, her most defined sense. She could both hear and feel her heartbeat thundering in her chest as she tried to listen for any signs that her squeaky door handle had woken any of her friends. Luckily she could still hear Clayton's heavy snoring and the inaudible mumbles of Nick's conversation as he spoke to himself while he slept.
When she knew the coast was clear she slowly edged her way out of her bedroom and slunk onto the landing. She passed several closed doors, trying to not make a sound, but as soon as she passed Nick's she couldn't help but slow as she heard his voice.
"The only thing I want in the world and it's right at my doorstep." He muttered in frustration as he unknowingly caused an affectionate smile to take hold of Riley's features as she stalked passed his room and towards the stairs.
It was only when she had made it into the safety of the kitchen did she realise just how cold she was. The biting chill of the winter air outside was freezing the droplets of sweat that had engulfed her body; goosebumps dominating the surface of her skin as her unnaturally warm body struggled to retain it's heat. Riley inwardly cursed at her idiocy of forgetting her dressing gown as she quickly moved towards the kettle to make her much needed tea.
However, as she waited for the water to boil she could not help but be attracted towards the large windows that dominated the far wall that led to the back garden. What she saw was something from a Christmas card. In the night, a blizzard of snow had engulfed Stonehaven meaning the white powder covered the garden furniture, hung on leaves and was piled high on top of tree branches; but what took Riley's breath away was the quietness and tranquillity that seemed to rapture her surroundings. There were no signs of any wild animals, no birds not even an owl calling for its mate. The beauty of the undisturbed snow lying in front of her momentarily distracted her from her troubling thoughts before the whistling of the kettle pulled her from her reprieve.
Nevertheless, before Riley settled with her beverage she manoeuvred herself to the opposite side of the table, her eyes taking in the large cluttered bookcase that dominated the side wall opposite the kitchen appliances. A small contented smile briefly engulfed her expression as her womanly fingers trailed over the worn bindings of a large leather bound journal. She pulled the book from the shelf, the young werewolf having forgotten the weight of the diary before she quietly placed it to the glossed wood of the dining table.
As she heaved at the cover, her eyes fell to the first page, her eyes twinkling with recognition as her fingertips gently trailed the intricate lines that connected various names to others, while other lines seemed to overlap or connected several names to different people on multiple occasions. Her eyes however were drawn to one whose name was, at this moment in time, far more important than any others. She could see Jeremy's family tree. His name was placed directly underneath his father Malcom's face while Clayton's was located underneath his. She had made it so that Elena, considering she was bitten and no werewolf heritage, was connected to Clayton's name just so future generations could see where one of the female werewolves belonged. Unlike Elena, she had no idea who her father was so her name was settled just to the right and nearer the bottom of the page.
After she had finished studying her scrawl against the pages, she continued to flick between the pages, noticing how each of the members of her Pack had a medical profile. Her eyes taking in the relevant information when it came to confirmed blood types, height, weight, medical allergies and other relevant information she may need if she had to treat one of the Pack. It had come in handy too, considering if any of them ever needed a blood transfusion any individual of the Pack could provide while Elena was the unlucky one with the universal blood type O. It seemed she could be called upon whenever someone needed blood.
But after a while a frown was plastered to her eyebrows, confusion spiralling through her veins when she took in the unfamiliar handwriting that replaced hers, and keeping up with her excessive journal keeping. Recent injuries had been noted, detailing the medical care given, whether that be for a minor scrape caused by a friendly tousle that had been a little rough or the serious injury Clayton had suffered after facing a mutt.
"Can't sleep?" a soothing voice sounded, forcing Riley from her thoughts as she snapped her eyes towards the man who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. A welcoming smile took hold of her features when she realised Jeremy was drowsily stumbling into the room and collapsed into the chair facing her.
"How could you tell?" Riley countered, lifting her mug to her lips as she took a large sip of her drink.
"Coz you're awake." Jeremy replied with an unusual smile of his own. "We should have known you would struggled with some sort of jet lag, you're not a seasoned traveller like Nick and Tonio." Jeremy finished as he too poured himself a steaming mug of tea from the teapot in front of them.
"I'm partly to blame, I shouldn't have taken that nap this afternoon." Riley replied as she poured the milk for her Alpha, slowly relaxing as Jeremy's calm demeanour soothed her frantic nerves. Jeremy just smiled at her.
"Yet you still look tired, and not because you're still on English time." Jeremy inquired as he too took a large sip of his drink, a knowing glint shining within his eyes. "And before you even consider lying to me, don't forget that I was the Pack doctor long before we found you." Jeremy finished, interrupting the protest that Riley was about to utter. She just closed her gaping mouth, let out the breath of air she was holding in a deep sigh of resignation.
"I've not been sleeping well." Riley started, her fingers cradling her hot mug as she refused to look towards Jeremy whose intense gaze would have even the most confident husky running.
"As in insomnia?"
"As in dreams." Riley uttered, finally moving her eyes to his. His expression was as emotionless as usual, but considering she was just as adept at hiding how she was feeling, she knew that she was one of the best people to ever read the Pack alpha. As she took in his eyes she could see the twinkling of concern that was almost hidden under the surprise and confusion that remained hidden from his expression.
"What do you see?"
"Images of what I believe to be medieval England. I see horrific battles, the killing of mythological creatures and a great king discussing a war between an enemy I have yet to identify. But what scares me is that most of the time they don't even feel like dreams but more like memories; its kinda like I'm watching videos of my life or a past life I may have lived." Riley explained, her eyes desperately searching Jeremy's for any sign of reaction; she wasn't surprised when she didn't see one.
"Does anyone else know? Do you have any contacts at Bart's that could help you?" He voiced, concern audible within his tone as he placed his now empty mug to the tabletop in front of him. Riley just shook her head and looked towards her hands.
"I've only told you and Nick; it's not in my nature to go around screaming my problems." Riley voiced "I've managed so far, I can deal with my troubles just like I always have."
"But things are different now Riley, you have a family who love you, who worry about you." Jeremy said with a tone she had never heard him use with her before, she was even more astounded when he gently placed his hand over hers. "I'm not going to lie, this last year was hard, for all of us. You bring a unique calmness to the Pack, able to qualm Clayton and Elena when they argue, or make each of them see passed they're anger when a situation doesn't go they're way. I will also go so far to say that I needed your medical expertise a few times this year and Elena has missed your company."
"I've missed her too." Riley whispered as she looked towards her alpha through her long side fringe that had fallen over her eyes.
"Then what's keeping you away? What's so bad that keeps you from you're family?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know or you wont tell me?" Jeremy asked with a cocked eyebrows and a small smirk, Riley just provided him with one of her own.
"I think a little bit of both." She voiced and looked away, obviously signalling to him that the conversation was closed. However, as Riley took in the still surroundings of her home she couldn't help but momentarily look back towards her elder; Jeremy was also observing the quietness of his back garden, the white snow bringing a peaceful beauty to the place. He was not surprised when he turned back towards the youngest of his Pack to see her observant eyes studying him.
"What is it?" He asked with a light smile, a tranquil expression on his features as he shared an early morning tea, and small revelation.
"I just wanted to know why you kept updating the journal." Riley expressed, one of her hands resting gently on the leather cover of the book positioned in front of her. "It wasn't your duty, god knows you have enough of them."
"We may all have our own responsibilities within the pack, but considering the year we've had when it comes to medical assistance it was reassuring to know past ailments."
"I don't understand."
"I'm sure Nick informed you of Clayton's run in with a mutt when he saw you last, but he was in pretty rough shape. Safe to say, that if you hadn't determined blood groups for each individual, Clay probably wouldn't be here with us." Jeremy informed, his eyes unjudging, his eyes only gentle as he observed Riley's reaction to the news.
"If he was so badly hurt why didn't you contact me?" She questioned, lifting her beverage to her lips as she awaited Jeremy's answer.
"I knew you needed some time and space to yourself, you remember that we gave enough to Elena when she was going through her transition from human to werewolf, it was only fair that I gave you the same courtesy."
"But what if I was waiting for that phone call, a message to say that I was needed. You know I don't deal well with having to pick up the phone, or anything like that for that matter."
"I know of your anxieties Riley, I know you worry that your replaceable, that we don't need you, but trust me, I know for certain that at least one of us does." Jeremy resounded before he got to his feet, placed an uncommon kiss to the top of his head before he withdrew. "Try to get some sleep, I fear it maybe a long day tomorrow."
0-0-0
Riley could feel the strong tug of unconsciousness slowly withdrawing from her body as she cautiously stretched her tiny limbs with careful movements so not to disturb whatever or whoever has occupied the bedside next to her. She flickered her eyes; the warm sunlight identified the arrival of morning while her sensitive hearing picked up on the clattering of pans and the blustery wind spiralling over the building that correlated to countryside estates instead of the busy city life with which she was used to. However, as she brought in a lungful of air she repositioned her head against the soft pillow, angling her head so her eyes could finally fall onto the figure that was gently whispering her name. She couldn't help the smile from taking hold of her lips as her foggy mind immediately recognised the half dressed form lying next to her.
"Nicky?" Riley asked with another unknowing smile as she once again stretched out, readjusting her position as she laid on her other side. Nick simply modified his own position, lying on his side so he was facing her while his strong arm was able to support his torso so he was leaning over her. His warmth comforted Riley as he was unknowingly lying almost on top of her.
"Pretty good wake up call huh?" He said with a smile as he folded his arms in front of him, his handsome chiselled smile resting on his lips as he gazed down towards the young woman below him. He could see her dark auburn locks were shimmering behind her head as she rested on the pillows that she was slowly repositioning as she heaved her torso to the back of the headrest, a contented look on her sleepy features which only encouraged the ecstatic smile that was washing to his lips as he watched her wake. "You look so adorable when you wake up." He voiced, the older werewolf unable to resist the temptation and reached out his large hand to softly brush the stray stands of her hair from her face, curling the locks so they were neatly tucked behind her ear.
"Why am I not surprised to find you here?" She voiced with a knowing expression that slowly moved into one of contentment as Nick continued to scoot closer towards her. Riley just smiled as she took in Nick's un-styled hair, the perfect lines of his sculptured arms and chest as his well-defined shoulders leant protectively over her.
"Like you'd want me to keep away." He started. "Besides, I've missed you and I didn't really see you yesterday."
"Well, I think you've made up for it." Riley replied as she leant her head to the right, unknowingly looking at Nick through her side fringe as he repaid her statement with a smile of his own. "Yesterday was pretty busy on my part."
"Yes, because an eight hour flight, plus a four hour bus ride was just an average day for you. But let me be the first to compliment you on how rested you look considering the day you had." Nick expressed as he lifted one of his balled fists so it was resting on his head, still hanging close to Riley who had collapsed into the pillows propped up behind her.
"Must be the baggy t-shirt." Riley joked as she momentarily looked away from Nick as she ran her fingers through her side fringe before observing Nick whose eyes fluttered down to her apparel.
"Could've been worst." He answered with a gentle smile "Not everyone has to follow my fashion tips. You look amazing!"
"Coming from the man who doesn't think hair-stylists, fashion magazines and skin cream are only for woman you would have thought I'd done something right." Riley said with a genuine laugh that made Nick smile deviously towards her.
"Would you just take the compliment?"
"Or what?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Wouldn't you like to try." Riley countered with her own sneaky smile as she moved her shoulders before leaning back to the tops of her pillows, her eyes closing blissfully as she felt Nicky letting out the air in his lungs and looking down to her covered form as she slowly woke for the day. "To be honest I've not felt like I've had a good night's sleep in a long time. Last night was probably the most I've slept in over a year."
"You still having bad dreams?" He asked her gently as he lifted his hand and placed them over hers as she nervously twiddled her fingers. Riley just dropped her head to the pillow so she was looking at him again, receiving all the consolation she craved last night.
"Nearly every night." She said with a nod. "So last night's dream didn't come as a surprise."
"I wish there was something I could do for you, at least someway I could ease…"
"You already do enough just by letting me talk with you." Riley interrupted as she gave him a weak half smile. "Especially when I call you in the early hours of the morning when I'm sure you have better things to do or you would rather be sleeping."
"I would never turn you away, I know how bad they can get, defiantly after how I saw you react back in London. It's just a shame we can't go for a run"
"You have no idea." She breathed as she shook her head gently before turning back towards him "It's been so long since I've been able to run freely. London can only provide so much green." Nick just returned her statement with a smile, a smile that was quickly removed from his lips as the pair of them looked towards the door at the ringing of a bell. "Breakfast is served."
"Well, more like an early lunch." Nick countered as he turned back around to face her. "Dad's been at the grill for the last half hour." He said again as he observed Riley's contented smile and peaceful closed eyes as she slowly got over the hold her troubled sleep had on her body. "Best hurry before Clayton eats it all, and god forbid he should miss his breakfast." Nick finished with a perceptive glint in his eyes considering he knew the companionship and support she needed when it came to Clay. Riley just grimaced as she heaved the covers towards her face and she shrieked away from the idea of facing her pack mate. The older werewolf simply moved closer to her once again, his head moving to the right as he watched Riley peaking at him from behind the duvet, the pair of them only inches apart. "Or I could just stay in bed with you all day."
"I'm sure you would love that, but I'm going to have to decline." Riley said with a fond smile, one of her hands coming clear of the quilt as she slowly pushed Nick away from her by the face, her mind not failing to recognise the stubble that pricked at the skin of her hands. "So go, run along little puppy, I need to get dressed. Go" Riley finished with a large genuine smile. Nick simply adjusted his position so he was sitting, one of his hands helping him sit as he raised his eyebrows and looked back towards her, comforted to know that she was far more relaxed in his presences than anyone else's.
"Little puppy?" Nick countered with a nod of his head.
"Yeah." Riley just smiled, beaming when she noticed him flinging his portion of her duvet from his body and spinning back around to face her once he had pulled his figure to its feet.
"You've seen the bone I can bury." He said in all seriousness, before he broke out into a smile when he noticed Riley laughing. He quickly ducked as he dodged the flying pillow that his pack mate had tossed in his direction. He lunged towards her once again as he leant over the bed and placed an affectionate kiss to her cheek before bolting from the room to give her time and space to change.