Chapter Seventeen

(Aka our penultimate chapter ahhhhhhhhh)

The Jaegers' kid turned us all in to Marley. I shuld of guessed, with my lucke. Ha, you are not readng this for me.

I can't let them be cot.

I was never the mom I shuld have ben.

Perhaps they'll do beter with you. But please, make shore they know I lov them.

Dawn was barely beginning to grey the skies when Jack finally spoke, at the same time Ilona and Kruger were prying themselves apart, at the same time Grisha lost his seventh finger and Zeke awoke to the fear that his grandparents hated him now.

Muriel had been waiting all evening, but she didn't want to rush him. She hadn't the energy.

"It's all set," Jack said, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"First all-nighter in a while?" she asked wryly.

"It might not be our last," he said, peering into her eyes. "Are you sure about this, Muriel? Are we even ready?"

Muriel groaned. Of course he would question. He was a journalist. "We're not, but that won't change my mind. Or yours, really."

"Mine could be persuaded by you."

She laughed. "Aren't you cheeky tonight. Or this morning, to be accurate. Well, I won't be persuading you, so you can put those thoughts to bed."

Muriel leaned over and kissed him on his forehead. "We ought to dress for today."

There's no proper dress for today, thought Jack. Still, he rose to follow her.

"Don't go." Kruger gripped Ilona's hand and tried not to scream. He would never see her again, dressed in his clothing and hat, looking not unlike when he'd first met her.

He'd been kidding himself to think he'd find peace with death.

"Eren, please." Her words felt like planets. Ilona stood on her tiptoes to kiss him one last time and tried to laugh. "Are you scared because you won't get to die alone, nice and neat like you'd planned?"

"Like I said, you ruin everything," he murmured, caressing her cheek.

Ilona pressed her forehead against his chest. Her voice shook. "I wish I could ruin more."

"Finding you to love was the best thing that happened in my life, Ilona." Kruger brushed her curls out of her eyes and drank in her gentle, smiling eyes. "I'm not you; I failed to love everyone. But I … I found someone. To love everyone, you have to start with someone, hmm? Maybe 'everyone' would have come with the time I don't have. I will hope so."

At any rate, he no longer wished to kill his colleagues, though he had chosen this bloody path. Perhaps a deity would welcome him, or at least understand him. He'd settle for understanding, even if he gained hell.

"I believe in you." Ilona swallowed. She now knew what Kruger had discovered long ago: that love only frightened because it carried the potential for loss. "Be – besides, it'll be for a moment, just a…brief moment. We won't lose each other, not here or wherever there is. I have hope."

"Godspeed," she finished, stepping back.

"To you, too." Kruger watched her back away. He had to meet with Lange before their ship departed; another moment and he'd be late. He couldn't risk tardiness today.

He called out, his voice higher, as if he were once more five years old. "I love you!"

She was ready to reply, "I love you too."

Ilona stretched out her hand toward him, let him see that she was terrified, too.

Kruger forced a smile. "Go ruin everything."

Ilona's curls obscured her face, but he saw passion through her voice. "See you later, Eren."

"Ilona!" Tiberius turned his tear-streaked face to her. In an unusual display, he ran forward and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Sally didn't move. She was still too frozen. "Zeke couldn't have."

"I don't understand," said Tiberius, wiping his eyes.

"Here." Ilona pressed her handkerchief into his hand. "I don't either, Tiberius."

"Tiberius says we can't see him again," added Sally, her lips trembling.

"Not yet, just yet is all," said Raina, rubbing Sally's shoulder.

Ilona cleared her throat. "It's going to be quite dangerous to see him for a while. You're…Eldians outside your ghetto. If Zeke or anyone else tells the military who you are, things could become dangerous."

"Deadly, you mean," said Tiberius soberly.

Ilona nodded, too overcome to speak. "It's so unfair."

"I don't want to leave. I want to go back and spy," insisted Sally.

Dieter cringed from his position in the shadows. He'd let this happen. These kids were his fault.

"We can't," said Tiberius angrily. Our life is dead! Stop talking about it!

"The military is looking for you," Ilona said carefully. "You'll be living nice and safe here, though, with the Wiesels."

"I don't want to," Sally repeated.

"We have to," said Tiberius.

"Where's Mom, Ilona? You have to know."

Ilona didn't, and she didn't want to. "Your mom is safe."

"Then why did she leave?" Tiberius began to cry again. "Why didn't she take us?"

"Because she wanted you to be safe. She left because she loves you both, I promise."

Ilona blinked back tears. If only she, or at least her parents, wouldn't draw suspicion if they suddenly inherited two children.

"It doesn't feel like love," said Tiberius.

"I know, sweetheart." Ilona embraced him again.

Dieter cleared his throat. Dawn spread fast. "We need to hurry."

"I know." Ilona avoided his gaze to squint at Sally. "Is that an old dress of mine?"

Sally cracked a smile. "Yes."

"I'm sure they'll buy you lots of pretty dresses." Ilona winked at her.

"Are you sure we can't come?" Raina asked. "I just – I want to ensure that they're okay."

"You've done enough. The less people know, the better. You understand." Ilona wrapped her arms around Raina.

"Ilona," said Father.

He wanted her to run to him, like when she was a little girl. But she just stayed there, staring.

"I'm sorry," he choked out.

You helped cause this, she thought with a flash of anger she didn't want to feel. "I am, too."

Repairs could come later. Right now, let her mourn the loss of three childrens' innocence, not to mention her husband.

"You really are a good soul," said Dieter. He'd called her that before, didn't she remember? He, he was a bad soul. Bad.

"Thank you." Ilona paused, then dared to say, "You ought to become one."

Tiberius felt bad for the man who'd stayed up all night playing dice with him, but Sally giggled.

"We ought to be along now." Ilona took Tiberius' hand and offered her other one to Sally.

Kruger heard the screams he'd heard a hundred times over for the last time, and somehow that made them more unsettling. He felt he deserved it.

"I told you everything I know – please –" Grisha's voice begged, the voice of someone weak and weary from a night of mutilation. "I'm begging you to s-s-stop!"

Kruger swung wide the door. "How about it? Did you find out anything else?"

Lenin squinted in the light as he dropped another finger into a bloody pail, and a plump, bespectacled officer looked up. Someone new, apparently. "We haven't discovered the Owl's true identity."

Grisha had new tears running down his face. He didn't recognize him, Kruger thought with relief.

"Damn. This Owl is dangerous. Hiding deep in our government, forming an Eldian resistance group…"

Lenin half-smiled then, hearing Lange's words in Kruger's. Perhaps this was what Kristoph meant by calling Kruger a kind man – a man who would warn them about their Colonel's displeasure. They had to torture this secret into the light!

"If it wasn't for his son giving us information, this would have ended badly for us," finished Kruger, his eyes glinting.

At the mention of Zeke, Grisha cringed.

Good, thought Kruger, angry for the child he'd never met, but whom Ilona loved.

"The boat is about to depart. Let's take you to Paradis," Kruger recited, as he had year after year.

Grisha sniffled as Lenin tied a blindfold over his eyes. His regret shone through regardless.

"Oh – Sergeant Major! Here's the rest of our information!" Lenin hurriedly shoved a stack of papers towards Kruger.

He glanced at it. Most of the information was boring, the same every other interrogator had provided.

And then – this was it. The page on royal blood. Of course her husband would mention it, to save her. Kruger silently apologized to Dina as he slipped the paper out of the stack before heading towards Lange's office.

"Here's the interrogation papers, sir. Nothing on the Owl."

"None of them have met the Owl," muttered Lange, shaking his head. "Can you believe it?"

"You're certain they're telling the truth?" asked Kruger.

"Nearly. They've given up everything else." Lange rolled his eyes. "Cowards."

Kruger eyed him.

"I wouldn't be much different in their shoes," Lange added hastily. "But then again, I'd accept responsibility for my people's crimes regardless."

Gross's face floated before Kruger, and he choked back a laugh. "Suppose one of them confesses more on the island?"

"Hmm. By pretending to offer a lighter punishment?" Lange folded his hands while he mulled over the idea. What had caused Kruger's merciful side to emerge so suddenly? He'd never done this before.

"Perhaps. I meant more that the mere sight of death is enough to frighten cowardly men into clearly their consciences," said Kruger.

"Ah." That was more in line with Sergeant Kruger's behavior. "Well, I'm sure you'll give me a full report. We can't let this Owl operate much longer."

"I'll keep ready for any suspicious activity."

"Please spread the warning to your comrades."

"Yes, sir." Kruger saluted before he exited his superior's office, and hurried down the stairs.

An figure awaited between floors, bobbing up and down with nerves.

"You asked me to meet you, sir?" Kristoph asked. "No one's here," he added in hushed tones.

"You wouldn't be stupid enough to be here elsewise." Kruger half-smiled, certain that Kristoph understood the compliment.

"Deliver this note to my wife in an hour."

"Yes, sir."

Kruger nodded and hurried outside, heading towards the harbor. Gulls circled above, and the salt air was warm with a spring he wouldn't see.

"Are you going to Paradis, too, sir?" Miller waved from the dock, and Kruger's heart sunk.

Lenin should be here, not you, he thought. Miller could have done good.

I'll kill you quickly, he promised, returning the private's smile with a curt nod. Why was the world so broken that mercy involved killing?

As the steamboat chugged away, filled with crying prisoners and soldiers ranging from smug to terrified, Kruger told himself he oughtn't look back.

But some sentimental part must have endured in his heart, because he disobeyed his philosophy to look back for the city of Ilona.

"To tell you the truth, I allowed that article to be published. I could have axed it. I didn't to protect myself, and now I can't forgive myself," said Jack, wiping his brow. The coffee was too hot and he was drinking it too fast, but so be it.

"If you didn't, someone would have written something more salacious," pointed out Muriel.

"Maybe. We'll never know, will we?" Jack sipped his coffee, listening to the faint sound of crickets Muriel had managed to cultivate even in the city center. Through their kitchen window, he watched three figures sneak into their garden. "They're here."

Muriel threw open their back door, summoning a brilliant smile. "Hi!"

"Hello, Muriel," said Ilona, returning her smile. She nodded towards the short man shuffling towards them. "Jack."

"Greetings," he said gruffly.

"You look like a bear," accused Sally.

Tiberius gasped, tightening his grip on Ilona. But Muriel burst out laughing. "He doesn't, doesn't he?"

"The bear's called Jack."

"She just told them your name," teased Muriel. He rolled his eyes in response.

"Can I pat your beard?" Sally asked suspiciously.

"It's quite prickly," said Muriel with another giggle. "Jack, let her."

Jack knelt dutifully as Sally stroked his auburn beard. "I wish I could grow one."

"Someday," Tiberius said slyly. He didn't like jokes, but they seemed to. He'd be what they wanted.

Ilona pursed her lips at him; at least one adult understood.

"You must be Tiberius," said Muriel, extending her hand.

He took it gingerly. "Yes."

Muriel squatted down to his level, just like Ilona used to do. "I'm so happy to meet you."

Tiberius wondered if he should believe her.

"You'll be safe here," Muriel promised.

"Really?" asked Sally anxiously, glancing around the garden, where rosebushes were decorated with budding leaves and adorned with yellow crocuses.

"Really," Jack confirmed.

"Jack and Muriel are two of the most trustworthy people I know," Ilona added.

"So was Zeke," Sally said.

"I know, sweetheart." Ilona swallowed. "I shouldn't be here much longer."

"And I've a newspaper to print. Keep Muriel company for me today, all right?" Jack smiled at the children. Their children, now. It was too perfect to believe, except for their true mother on the run.

"You'll come back, right?" Tiberius asked as Jack slipped back inside and Ilona edged towards the fence.

"As soon as I can," Ilona promised. She could bring her parents to alleviate suspicion, if it ever quenched.

"Please do." Tiberius grabbed her hand. "Will you see Zeke, too?"

Ilona hesitated.

"I know we can't, yet." He blinked back tears.

"You will, someday," said Ilona, relieved he didn't blame his friend.

"But can you see him now? Please?"

"I'll see what I can do," she said softly.

"For most adults, that means no." Tiberius peered up at her. "Please let it mean yes for you."

"Okay, sweetheart." When Ilona embraced him, he returned her embrace what felt like a hundredfold.

His speech had remained unchanged for a decade and a half, but today Kruger felt disconnected from his body. "For treason, you will receive your life sentences here. You will be mindless titans, conscious of nothing but your ability to detect humans, seek them, and devour them until death."

Grisha twisted around to see his face more clearly, the eyes of a man hopelessly desperate to stop this injustice. Good.

"The problem is after you transform, you'll probably never die," Kruger finished, and for the first time he felt envy. He didn't want to die, not now.

Grisha stared at the stone wall he knelt on. "I've…seen you before."

Kruger stiffened, though he's been waiting for this. He deserved it. When he spoke, his voice was dull. "Do you still remember?"

Grisha's fury reignited. That day was the reason he was here! "What happened that day – how could I ever forget?!"

I'm glad you didn't. Kruger, however, said nothing as more Eldians were amassed on the wall.

"Hurry up and move," said Miller nervously to the blonde man he'd seen before, somewhere around Liberio. Why hadn't he known back then that he'd be exetuging him today?

"I'm begging you!" The man burst out. "Just kill me, please. I don't want to become a titan."

Miller swallowed and looked to Kruger, who shook his head. Pleas such as his were so common he barely heard them anymore.

"Grise," whispered Grisha, clamoring for the comfort of friendship.

"Grisha!" cried the man as Miller lifted his blindfold. "Is that you? Why? Why did Zeke turn us in? What happened?"

Grisha choked back a sob.

"Hey, why won't you talk to me? You said my name in the first place! Weren't we friends? What causes a son to betray his family? What kind of monstrous person are you? What did you do?"

Grisha moaned then, squirming against his ties.

"You piece of shit! You were all talk in the end! We were blind to trust you with the Restoration and especially with Dina!" If they'd nearly sent the mayor's Marleyan daughter to a breeding program, what sort of horrors awaited sweet Dina?

Grisha had no response. He deserved it.

"Why won't you answer me?" sobbed Grise. He'd thought confronting his leader would give him courage, but all he felt was emptiness.

"I'm sorry," gasped Grisha.

Grise shook his head, determined to release the last of his venom, to dig himself straight to hell. "How could we have trusted you? Eldia is dead."

"Well," said Gross's slick voice behind Kruger. "This one seems quite energetic."

Grisha froze, and Kruger's heart sank. He'd thought allowing Grise's outburst would prepare Grisha for his duty to come, but now it would kill this other man.

"Let's free him." Gross licked his lips.

"Sir?" Miller was shoved aside as Gross delivered a well-aimed kick to Grise's spine.

"Grise!" shrieked Grisha as his friend – his friend whose critique came too late – tumbled to the sand below. "Grise!"

"Oh, he'll be fine. The sand's all soft and nearly as welcoming as the titans that will be chasing him soon. Hey, buddy! You better start running north! Maybe you'll reach the walls!" Gross cackled.

"S-Sergeant Gross?" stammered Miller. Ilona was right, Ilona was right.

"Oh, Miller. You're new here, aren't you? Well, see, titans can't go near the ocean. They'll be drawn away by one sacrifice. It's very efficient, isn't it?" Gross smiled as the terrified creature below. They were always like this. Frozen, confused. They'd expected an unconscious existence, but still an existence, and now they had none.

"He'll be gobbled up quick, right, Kruger?"

"Yes," Kruger said, stiff as always.

Gross clapped his hands together, as much from glee as leadership. "Al right, everyone! We've got a lot to attend to, so let's move!"

"No!" Grisha screamed as needles jabbed his friends' necks, as he had to watch them fall into mindless monsters, as Grise stumbled and fell, then picked himself up, running with his hands still tied behind him.

He deserved this. He'd caused this, hurting Zeke. Maybe – maybe family wasn't too late – "Stop! My brothers! That's Grise!"

"Ah, Kruger, he's so annoying. Turn him already," snapped Gross. Why the fuck hadn't his partner helped out?

I'm not giving into you ever again.

"No, I will question him more." Kruger watched the monster men chasing their prey, as he always did, a penance of sorts.

"Fine, fine. You put too much heart into your work," scoffed Gross. "Ooh, what a woman next. Pity she's a devil like the rest of these runts."

He caught Kruger's glare and grinned. Ah, to aggravate both the vermin and his partner in one. He felt the most powerful man present.

"Dina," whispered Grisha in disbelief.

"My dear." Dina set her jaw, staring straight ahead at her fate.

"Wait! Didn't you understand what I told you? She's important to Marley; she has royal blood!" shrieked Grisha. He may have failed Zeke, but he would not fail Dina!

Oh. My. Holy. Ymir. Fear shot through Kruger, and he slammed Grisha's head into the stone.

"Huh?" said Gross. "What the fuck?"

"Shut up," Kruger growled to Grisha.

"I can't listen to him anymore. You shut him up and turn him already. He can live as titans with his beloved."

"Grisha, it doesn't matter what happens. No matter what, I'll find you," whispered Dina, even as the needle slid into her spine, because sometimes the best opposition was done in whispers.

"How perfect. You can find romance as titans." Gross threw her off the wall, and Grisha screamed from his soul, the scream Kruger wanted to release himself.

"This cannot be real." Dieter Minsk stared at the newspaper in his hand.

"It's real, sir," said Della. "Freshly printed, even." She glanced at the inkstains on her fingers.

"Dieter!" Adler burst into the room. "Have you seen the paper?"

Dieter waved the pages in his hand.

"Just what is your daughter trying to accomplish?" Adler demanded. "Stopping all our hearts?"

"Starting, more like," murmured Dieter, as his throat tightened.

To Punish Eldian Ancestors, Marleyan Military Punishes Their Children

By Ilona Minsk

She was eight. Like many curious children, Eldian and Marleyan alike, she ventured beyond her ghetto to see a Zeppelin. A kindly officer offered to take her home while her brother was beaten.

The next day, her half-eaten body surfaced in the river.

"Where is Sergeant Major Gross now? We ought to question him immediately," declared Adler. "We can't – we're the righteous ones. We can't protect a sadistic child killer. Good God, she was eight."

"Della!" Dieter shook his head. "Call General Truitt and Colonel Lange in for questions now."

"Then again, perhaps this is an exaggeration? Gross did arrest her, after all. Perhaps she's taking her revenge," said Adler.

"And risking sullying her reputation more? Ilona does not speak lies," Dieter said.

"Besides." Della straightened, willing all courage to enter her veins. "Lars Gross, his son, was in my class. He's everything his father is. I believe your daughter."

Adler's mouth opened as Dieter narrowed his eyes.

"My God. The people are going to riot, and I can't fault them!"

"We have to restore their trust. Della, if you're comfortable, send for the Military leaders immediately. This is an emergency," said Dieter.

He couldn't look away anymore.

"Bahahaha!" Gross doubled over. These screams were the best; they tingled every nerve in his body. They made him want to fuck something. "Look, she never listened! She just went after Grise. Any chance he was her side-lover?"

"Shut up!" screeched Grisha.

"Excuse me?"

"It was you! Fifteen years ago, you fed my sister – my eight year old sister – to the dogs!"

Yes. Kruger clenched his fists. Finally, someone mentioned what everyone in Marley would soon know.

Gross grinned at the memory as a short man – Ryder Braun – was dragged forward. "Hey, is he the last?"

"Yes," said a soldier.

"Leave him to me." Gross shivered with excitement.

"All of you, return to the boat," barked Kruger. He felt as if he was made of steel.

"What's going on?" Miller asked in a high-pitched voice.

"It's the Sergeant's personal fun-time." Wolfe rolled his eyes.

"But – even if she was an Eldian – doing that to an eight-year-old…" Miller trailed off. Ilona was right. Ilona was right. He glanced at the titan horde in the distance. Who were the real monsters?

Gross lit a cigarette and offered it to Kruger, who shook his head fiercely. "I have an idea for quite the performance. I remember now, young man. So you know what? I'll make It equal. You'll be eaten by him."

He shook Ryder's shoulders as the man whimpered.

"He'll be a three or four meter titan." Gross emptied most of his syringe. The pink liquid evaporated with a hiss upon the stone. "I recommend resisting longer."

"Why?" gasped Grisha, the same question Kruger had asked for years.

"Why?" Gross blew out a stream of smoke. "For fun. Why else? Isn't the idea of monsters eating humans interesting, even if some find it hard to watch?" He winked at Kruger, who tightened his grip on Grisha's shoulder.

"Human nature craves violence. We've been peaceful from Eldia for too long, no? We call peace good, but we need violence to feel alive, hmm? I don't know how we live thinking of death every day, but that's normal in our world, isn't it? You want to know why? Because I think peace is bullshit."

Because it turns you on, Kruger thought.

"Oh, I'm always prepared for death. But I understand the cruelty of this world. I looked violence in the eyes and knew it. It was educational, actually. Did you know, your sister's death was education for my sons? And they turned out all right, so I think I did well." Gross kicked Ryder off the wall.

"Does…your heart not ache?" whispered Grisha.

"Ha! I get what you mean. Would I feel different if my son were fed to dogs? Well, it's not like he never did anything unforgiveable."

Grisha and Kruger were both burning now.

"My sister," Grisha managed, "only wanted to see the Zeppelin. She dreamt of riding to faraway lands."

"What a shame. If only she wasn't an Eldian." Gross shrugged. "Look there. At that guy."

Ryder's titan glowered up at them.

"That's your true form," hissed Gross, sidling up to Grisha. "No one else can become Eldians. Just you all. The entire world hates you and desires your extinction." He clenched his fist.

"What?" Grisha trembled. No. Zeke had to live. He had to. He deserved life.

"You asked if my heart would ache? How could it? You call us the murderers? What were you planning once your restoration took place?"

Grisha understood. Kruger saw the horror on his face. Good.

"No," Grisha said. "Your history is wrong. Ymir used her power to cultivate, to build – Marley lied!"

Oh, come on. Kruger needed this doctor to listen to his instincts once more, like he had fifteen years ago.

"Ha! Your history is glorious, eh? Ha! I've been waiting so long to see this. You better make a good show out of being eaten, all right? Too bad it's not your wife, eh?" Gross grappled Grisha away from Kruger. "Stop struggling!"

"You're a damn lunatic!" screamed Grisha.

"Go see your sister! I deserve entertainment, and I'll have it!" Gross laughed and grabbed for Grisha again.

Kruger stepped forward ad, with a surge of strength, knocked his partner off the wall.

For Ilona, for Faye, for Dina and Grisha and Zeke.

He shook with adrenaline as he drew his knife. He wouldn't let Gross occupy another minute of his life, not even to see his death.

The blade slit through his palm. "Mark well, Grisha – this is how you use the power of the titans."

A knock on the door was hardly what Ilona expected, much less wanted.

"Yes – oh, Kristoph." Dressed proper again, Ilona looked like she'd spent a typical morning tidying their home or whatever women were expected to do.

"Sergeant Major Kruger asked me to deliver this to you." Kristoph handed her a letter, unsure why she went all teary-eyed on him. "Uh – are you okay, Mrs. Kruger?"

Ilona forced a laugh. Mrs. Kruger. The name felt so foreign. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you kindly, Kristoph."

"Is there anything you need?"

"You're very sweet. Stay that way," Ilona said, shutting the door to leave a bewildered soldier on their steps.

Away all day. Take care if you partake in Eldian relief today. Our blabbermouth is spreading rumors of special blood, and I'd hate for you be caught in this mess.

Love, Eren

Ilona caressed his signature with her fingers, as if she could touch him through the ink.

Clearly his letter was more than a warning. He wanted her to be caught in this mess, to shut Zeke up about his special blood.

The guards' hands on her shoulders, Gross's hair on her cheeks –

Ilona doubled over. They wouldn't send a child to breed, would they?

Perhaps, perhaps not; at the very least they would groom him for it. An orphaned child. She'd draw suspicion again to stop a child's exploitation, and Kruger knew that.

Fuck danger. Ilona clenched her jaw. Finding Zeke's location wouldn't be difficult. The difficulty would be finding him alone and forcing him to believe her.

No. She couldn't force. She could only hope.

Please, if Anyone is listening, let Zeke know he's worth everything. Ilona slammed her palm against the splintered wall.