Cat's Pov:

I'm a slut.

I'm a whore.

I'm a hoe.

I'm a dumbass.

Now I'm a bitch. Tori was just trying to help, but I completely shut her out. I pushed her away, just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I have to hurt her as too. Ugh, life.

When I get in the door, I feel better. I feel great because my parents nor my brother is home. It's just me, just looney Cat.

The weekend is over, I don't have to see my dad until Friday or Saturday – if he comes. I go upstairs quietly, I'm home alone, but I hate noise. I hate making noise, because what if I'm so loud I don't hear him creeping up on me and…

I SCREAM.

I turn around but nothings there. I'm too wrapped up in my thoughts.

I close my room door and lock it. I hate it in here, so dumb, so bright, it looks like a unicorn barfed in here. My room is everything I'm not. Bright and happy.

I go through my closet. Where is it, Jesus – I lose this thing to much. Where is it, I'm about to go crazy when I remember it's under my pillow. I rush over to my bed and toss my pillow to the side.

Nothing makes me happier than my favorite piece of metal.

I go into the bathroom, and roll up my sleeve. Revealing a bunch of other old marks, some from him, some from me, some from this blade.

I do this to myself until my mother comes home, whenever that is.

I'm doing homework on my bed when I hear the front door open, "Cat! Honey you home?!"

My mom. Ugh.

I quickly rush down the stairs. "I'm here" "Good, go outside and help with these got damn bags" ugh she's grumpy, she probably just got off the phone with my father. They've been arguing a lot lately, about me, being me.

After I help her with the groceries, I go to dart back upstairs but she grabs my wrist. "Honey….Cat…we need to talk," Ugh, I already know what its about. "Your father wanted me to talk to you…about you" she takes a puff of her cigarette. "ok..." I back away from her.

"He's…I…We're concerned about you…and your mentality" here we go again. "Honey, well…your 16 and a half and you just don't act like it. The way you dress, the things you say, your hair…your fucking laugh. Hehe. Your like a… child. I don't see how you have friends acting like that, you're just…fucking abnormal. I can't even have a conversation with you without you drifting off or saying something...random." Thanks mom. "Don't take it personally…were just concerned. I mean…it's about time you act your age."

I only act this way because you make me sad.

"We think you need to mature, woman up, grow up"

I've experienced shit you can only dream of.

"I don't know why you're like this."

You and dad made me.

"I mean; we can't have another one of your brothers around here"

So I don't matter?

"His medical bills are already so can't have you add fuel to the fire"

So this is about money now?

"Caterina Valentine, do you hear me?"

Do I?

I drift off for a minute until I'm knocked back in to reality by a sudden jolt of pain to the face, my cheek to be specific.

"CATERINA HANNAH VALENTINE THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ALWAYS DRIFTING OFF IN TO OUTER FUCKING SPACE!"

I stay silent.

"ANSWER ME!"

Then I just ball, I cry, I sob. I get up and go upstairs to my room. I hate me, no – I hate Cat. I hate her, my parents hate her, my teachers hate her, my friends hate her ditzy ass. I wipe my face as much as possible, but I can't stop crying. I hate my parents, and they hate me.

I ball, I cry, I sob, as I try and do my homework. I hate myself so much. I'm fat, stupid, dumb, ditzy, delusional, crazy, mental and every other word in the book.

I cry, I cry so much I don't even think I finished my homework…and somehow I just fall asleep.

I wake up crying

I'm wake up sobbing, I wake up balling. I look at my phone, its 4AM. Here we go again. I decide to shower, and start another horrible day again.

I walk to school today, my parents think I'm fat so it would probably help me lose some of my fat. It's 7:30AM, I have a whole hour to kill. I don't know why I'm up and out the door so early. I guess I just needed to get away, and get some fresh air.

Becks Pov:

"She's not doing anything for me!" I shout at my girlfriend, Jade West. She's been arguing with me about my new neighbor who's a cheerleader….and volunteered to watch my siblings (yes I have those). "Jade, I don't ev-" *Click* She hung up on me. Ugh. I run my fingers through my hair and sign as I come to a red light. Jade's so stressful at times….

After five more minutes of driving I see a familiar red head walking, she looks sad, tired and scared. It's Cat. I pull over next to me, she ignores me…or just doesn't see me. "Hey Cat!" Her head turns, she looks like she's been crying. "ugh…hey, Beck…."

"Where are you headed?"

"School, duh"

"….and your walking?"

"well…..Ididn'thavearideandIalsowantedsomefreshairsoummyeah…"

"Ok…just hop in Cat"

"kk…"

She hops in the passenger seat. Hmmm….her cheek looks a little red….

"thanks Beck"

"Don't mention it"

As soon as I pulled in to the school parking lot, Cat quickly hopped out the car and went inside as if being alone with me in my car was the most award thing she had ever done. She's strange now, well not strange…but sad. She always has this look in her eyes as if she's pleading for help, but no one will help her, hmm…..

"Cat!" I catch up to her by her locker, "Yeah Beck?"

"I need to talk to you"

"Ok, go"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, why are you soo….so sad?"

"Am not"

"Lies"

"Beck"

"Cat"

"I'll see you in class." She walks away,

I don't stop her.

After Sikowitz, I walk closely behind Cat to her art class, or our art class – I'm in there too. I plant my usual spot next to her.

"Ok class, today we'll be drawing anything! You can paint, doodle, draw, sketch, shoot even use coal! Whatever satisfies you. Your only task? Tie it to an emotion, when I view your artwork, I don't want to say…"What does this mean?" Let it stand out, let it be sad, moody, happy, angry….just make it speak. After you go with the flow, choose a topic. It can be suicide, rape, happiness, bipolar, gay….anything, just let it speak. LET IT SHINE."

Cat heads to work right away, I was hoping she would do something happy but I'm wrong, I see her gathering black, white and gray paints.

"What are you doing Cat?" I ask.

"Something I can relate to" she mumbles angrily... and with that she puts her earphones in and sets to work.

This will be interesting…