A/N: I'll get to the fun part, I promise!
Chapter 9
She keeps her head low when Maura opens the door.
Her surprised Kate! fades in silence as she immediately spots the dark shadow on her left cheek, and her arm, securely kept around her stomach. And, of course, Maura also notices the glistening of her eyes when she raises her head.
Kate watches as she blinks, straightens her back, shouts out all her questions. She lets her enter, with her hand on the small of her back she guides her inside. When she hears the soft click of the door, she slows her walking. She turns toward Maura, buries her head in the crook of her neck without preamble.
She stirs, exhales, but her perfume has already calmed Kate and she doesn't move away. Maura feels her chilly breath against her neck, the spasm of her injured cheek. Her hand comes up to caress the back of Kate's head, slowly strokes her locks as her other arms circles her waist carefully.
She could stand in the middle of the hallway with Kate in her arms all night, comforting and waiting for some sort of explanation, but the side of her that tells her Kate needs treatment is just too strong to ignore. She physically can't focus when she knows someone is not alright, her mind races to all the possible cures and her hands hitch. Waiting is just too dangerous, she learnt it.
"Let me take a look, Kate," Maura whispers, rubbing her back in circles under her denim jacket. She tentatively takes a step backward, trying to loose her hold on Kate, but she doesn't let go.
Maura has to maneuver them around the apartment, her room, almost tumbling down a couple of times. But Kate smiles, so she tries again. When she manages to sit Kate on her bed and distance herself, she notices the slump of Kate's shoulders, her eyes that she can't keep open.
"Wait for me, don't fall asleep," she whispers, bending on her knees to reach Kate's eyes. She simply nods, trails with her gaze the kind pat Maura leaves on her kneecap before she rushes out.
The room smells of vanilla.
Everything is in its place. A series of books adorns the desk, a suitcase rests next to her closet and an odd shadow lies under the chair. The light of the bedside lamp is not strong enough to show it clearly, but the round of its exterior is curious and certainly unusual.
"Is that your pet?" she murmurs as soon as Maura enters, her hands full of creams and first-aid kit items. She places them on the comforter next to Kate, turns briefly to follow Kate's gaze.
"Yes, he is. His name's Bass. African Spurred Tortoise."
"He looks all mysterious," Kate observes, still watching him. "A little like you."
Maura smiles, hiding her smirk with her hair as she picks up the instant cold pack. She nudges Kate's legs open with her feet, forcing her to straighten her back as she comes nearer. Kate stares up at her, her lips slightly ajar.
The dimness of the room makes her eyes look bigger. So open and black and intriguing.
Maura can't resist caressing her unhurt cheek, her sharp cheekbone. She slides her fingers in her hair, wishing she could slow the beating of her heart, but Kate closes her eyes, leans in. It should feel easier with time, after the kisses, but maybe it's still too early, because the reaction Kate causes in her is still amazingly deep.
It's affection, for sure. But it's also yearning.
Not the physical kind.
She dies to figure her out.
"What happened?" she whispers, lifting Kate's head and sliding her hand away. She places the pack in her open palm and watches as Kate presses it gently against her cheek, flinching in pain. With her eyes closed, she shakes her head, ending her curiosity.
"Then let me take a look at your stomach," Maura answers, taking a step backward to give her space. "Lie down."
She displaces the comforter behind Kate, the soft thud of Kate's shoes falling to the floor is followed by a groan she lets out as she moves.
She looks good in her room, Maura realizes. In her bed. She fits among her things, taking the space nobody has ever filled. She wants all she can have with her.
"Don't be nervous," Kate mocks, using the free hand to lift her t-shirt up enough to expose her stomach. "You have already seen me without a shirt."
Maura straightens the wrinkles of her pants as she sits next to her legs, her eyes study the dark, angry swell of her skin, ignoring her comment. She underestimated the situation. She takes her wrist instantly, presses with her index and middle fingers.
"Have you been drinking?" she asks firmly, checking with her wristwatch Kate's pulse. Kate denies, furrowing her brows at the sudden change of topic. Maura rubs her palms against her thighs a couple of times before pressing on the side of Kate's stomach.
"Does it hurt?" Maura asks, applying pressure gently, testing the swelling. She's too focused to notice Kate has closed her eyes, enjoying her care.
"When you touch it, yes, a little bit. And when I move."
Maura lifts her gaze from Kate's belly, studying her, contemplating the possibilities.
"Although you seem not to have difficulty in breathing, you haven't consumed alcohol and I felt no particular bump, you should still go to the hospital," she states. "I can't be certain you are not bleeding internally without X-ray, Kate."
Kate can detect the small change in Maura's voice, she made her name sound broken and she sounds clinical. So she raises her head from the pillow, slides her hand on the comforter until she meets Maura's.
"I am fine," she stresses, tightening her hold to emphasize her words. "They caught me off guard, but I was faster. I avoided it as much as I could, the hit wasn't direct."
"What do you mean they, Kate?" Maura writhes out of her hold, clenches her jaw as she hisses. "Your pancreas, liver, kidneys, or bladder may be injured, Kate, I-"
She stutters. Two, three times. Her eyes widen in Kate's, her hand flies to her heart, her neck, checking her own pulse. She turns away, protecting herself, trying to hide the reddening of her neckline. She looks terrified.
"This- I can't do this," she breathes out, with her back to Kate, clenching and unclenching her hand. "This is why I don't work on living patients, this is why I will never be-"
Kate's arms hitch to hug her, to suffocate her sighs against her chest and wipe away all of her insecurity; but Maura distanced herself from her touch, turned, hid. She suffers alone.
"Maura," Kate whispers, moving to be in a sitting position, her face above Maura's shoulder. "I didn't come here looking for a doctor, so don't look at me like a living patient. You won't be held responsible for my own choices. I need you. Just you, Maura."
Kate sees her lip quiver, glimmer at the pale light as she contemplates her words. She knows she shouldn't touch her but she seems too far away to take her back in any other way. With the tip of her fingers, Kate traces the lines of her locks from her hairline down to her shoulders, caressing her cheek and exposing her neck.
Maura breathes out her name at her caress and she marvels at how little it takes to have a reaction from her.
"Please," she begs, her voice low and little.
Kate dips and her lips kiss the soft skin of Maura's shoulder. She breathes there with her eyes closed, slowly, blissed out. She feels Maura exhale and she opens her eyes, knows she convinced her with her plea. She whispers to her to lie down and Kate complies, hiding her smile in the dark of the room.
Maura doesn't meet her eyes, but she chooses the lotion carefully, analyses the various boxes multiple times. She warns her it's cold before applying the cream on her stomach and Kate hums, she watches closely her movements, her face, how she blinks when her hand touches her skin.
She's extremely gentle and light in her strokes, she pays attention to her every bruise and Kate feels the fatigue starting to weight. She gets used to Maura attention quickly and her eyes flutter closed. Maura's hands gain confidence and start to wonder lower on her stomach, even where the bruises are paler. She knows she can feel the goosebumps under her fingertips and the way her muscles contract at her touch.
She recognizes the path that Maura starts to caress, she's stroking her stretch marks. She travels them up and down with her thumb and the persistent move almost make Kate drift off to sleep.
But when Maura stops a little later and Kate feels her move, she stops her immediately with a hand around her wrist, whispering her not to go. It's impossible for her to let her walk away and the thought of not having her near makes her restless.
"Kate, you need-"
You, she thinks. But she's too tired to answer. So she drags herself back on the bed, against the wall, without opening her eyes, never letting her hand go. It makes Maura sighs.
"I should get changed," she replies at her silence, but she's already climbing on the bed. She lies on her side with her face to Kate, drags the blanket on them both and forgets about her proposition.
Kate's breath is evening out rapidly and in the dimness of the room she lets her head rest mere inches away from hers. She studies her profile and she aches to trace it with her finger but she doesn't. Instead, her hand moves under the blanket and find Kate's. Their fingers interlock even if Kate is already asleep and doesn't respond to her hold.
She watches the movements of Kate's chest, listens to her breathing, wishing she could kiss her. Wishing it could quiet her need down.
"Why do you make me feel like this?" she whispers to herself. "Why do you always make me feel so naked?"
TBC