**Trigger warning in Micah's second POV. Memory of attempted suicide as well as mentions of one in his first.**
I am not a man
I feel more like
emptiness, solitude
I am not a man
I feel more like
chemicals coming through
Cortana Ramslee, 18
District 3 Female
Misconceptions is the world's greatest flaw. Almost fatal if you ask me. They're unpredictable, and most of the time, they can end up being dangerous. People often times make an ass out of themselves with their misconceptions. Me on the other hand, I use them to my advantage.
Power doesn't come from the amount of authority you get from other people. Authority is fickle, and respect is wavering. Power comes from knowledge. It comes from knowing who you're dealing with on the inside and out. What makes them tick? What drives them crazy? What is their biggest fear?
Then you utilize it. That's the ringer. Some people aren't strong enough to use the information that they get. Me? I thrive on it.
The research lab is is packed full of the last year students who are desperate to get into the science program. Of course they won't all get in. There are around fifty students in every given year, and it's a competitive roller coaster ride to get to even this point. Each year the institute cuts 10 kids. I started with a class of 120.
They let 15 final year students in every year. My class was especially competitive. Add to the fact that I'm a woman, and out of the fifty of us there is only 9 other girls, it's been a real joy kicking the confident douche bags out.
"Who do you think is going to make it in?" ask Elroy to George as they sit at the table behind me. I have no doubt in my mind that George will make it into the program. George is really the only person, other than me, that is competent in this room. I have a respect for him in the sense that when I destroy him in labs and exams I try not to feel to superior. Elroy on the other hand, it's a miracle he even made it to this point.
Most people think the same about me though. Who would have thought that sweet, shy, and smiley Cortana had the ability to make it to the last fifty in the best program the district has to offer? Remember what I said about misconceptions? You have to learn to use them to your advantage.
"I'm not sure," replies George. "I don't see many girls getting in."
I'm not even turned around and I know he's staring at me. Little does he know, I beat him on the last exam by five point margin. Not that I'd ever announce that. It's the principle of the matter. Girls in district 3 have ALWAYS had to work harder than boys. Even though we get the same education, same training, same EVERYTHING. We have to prove ourselves in this field. It's the only way for us to move up in a district like 3.
The Dean for the institute walks into the room holding a list. He has a very stern look on his face, like he's about to crush everyone's dreams and nobody gets in. Even though I know it's almost impossible for me not to get in, I catch myself holding my breath. It's a lot to take in when your future is hanging from the thread.
"We had a lot of competition this year," says Dean Spark as he paces through the aisles back and forth. "You kids really brought your A-Game." he turns to us and smiles, and we all freeze. I'm pretty sure hell is about to freeze over because never have I EVER seen this man smile before. "You've really made me proud." he drops his smile. "And because of that, we have extended the program to sixteen rather than fifteen students. Here in my hand, I hold the list of every student that applied for our institute if your name is highlighted congratulations. If your name isn't, well, it isn't us. It's you."
He walks to the back of the room and sticks the pin into the board. He walks out, and after what seems like an eternity a boy in the back table gets up and looks at the board. You can tell he doesn't want to look at the names.
"Do you want me to just call out the names? Or do you want to see them yourself?" he ask.
"Call them out." says someone from the front of the room. He is facing the board and hasn't turned around. Even when Dean Spark was in the room.
"Ranked number one...Cortana Ramslee? Is this serious? It can't be right."
There is an audible gasp in the room. I don't want to say that I feel superior, but let's be honest. I am. I don't want to sound cocky, but I had these idiots fooled from the moment I entered this institute. Having them think I'm barely scraping by was something I prided myself on. It's all the more flattering when I get to shove it in these boys faces who made fun of me all these years.
"Actually," I say getting up from my seat. "It is right. I worked my ass off in this institute. While the rest of you guys were having a pissing contest year after year, I buckled down and actually learned something. Expectations are your enemy. Flexibility is your friend. I learned that the moment I stepped into a man's world. Maybe if you weren't so petty, and did what you did Patty I wouldn't have seen the need to let you think I was an idiot, and this wouldn't be such a blindside!" I shudder as I flash back to Patty, the poor girl that got her face blown off in our third year. It could never be proven, but rumor has it the boys took her out because she was too good at the jobs presented to her. I wasn't going to be a Patty for them.
I walk out the room slinging my backpack onto my back and close the door behind me. Walking down the halls and knowing that I get to come back here for the rest of my life is great. Knowing that I helped my family in their time of need is fantastic. I'm a hero to women and them.
I take a deep breath when I reach the door. "In two days I'll be back." I say as I push the door and walk outside on this crystal blue day.
It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide, I
Don't have much money but boy, if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live
Micah Cobalt, 15
District 3 Male
"Dude man up and just do it." says Cord as he chuckles at the lockers we are standing at.
That's easy for him to say. I can't just do it. Just doing it is...is impossible! Elena Bright is not the "dude just do it" kind of girl. She is the girl. She's smart, pretty, and completely out of my league. Asking her out on a date will be the equivalent to me going into a kill match with one of the Victors from the Hunger Games.
If she's a shark I'm a guppy.
"I can't just ask her, man." I respond leaning against my locker and grinning like an idiot. "She's...she's perfect."
Put me in a room of people and I'm the life of a party. Send me to a party, and I'm the first to hit the dance floor. Have me ask a girl out and I'm a pile of inanimate mush just trying to be impressive. "I mean look at her!" I say to Cord as I indicate to where she stands with my arm. "If I was common man walking around, she's Zeus throwing thunder at my feet and making me dance." I pause and make a face after I realize the comparison I just made in my head. "Wait that didn't come out right. What I meant to say-"
"What you meant to say is that she's so beautiful you're so average. We get it. Same story every time, but honestly dude. I'm tired of it." he pauses and then gets a grin on his face as he turns to face me. He clears his throat and takes in a deep breath.
"ELENA CAN YOU COME OVER HERE?!" he shouts into the air. She turns away from her group of friend and then makes eye contact with me. She smile as she walks over, and Cord taps me on the back and walks away. "Good luck." he whispers as he is moving down the hall.
"Hey, Micah!" she says. "What's up?"
"I-I-" I begin. "Did you know that I like peanut butter. Like a lot?"
Peanut butter?! What the hell is your problem, Micah. You're literal buttcheeks. Any hope you had of asking this girl out is close to zero now.
"Oh really?" she says with a chuckle. "Yeah, I must agree. Peanut butter is kind of great."
Wait, she totally fed into that. Micah, play it cool. Don't scare her off. I stand up straight, no longer leaning on the lockers and smile. "I mean, we could eat it together if you want. Peanut butter that is. Wait, you probably knew what I meant, but yeah. Let's eat peanut butter together." I say probably a little to eager. I clear my throat and try to lean against the locker again, but I trip. "I mean, if you want." I try to say with a cool attitude as I brush my hair out of my face.
She laughs as she tucks her long golden blonde hair behind her ear. "Micah I'd like that a lot." she says.
My eyebrows raise. "Really?" I ask. "You have no idea how happy-"
My words fail me as across the hall I see a tall woman with brown hair a lot like mine, She let it fall in waves down her back, and she is wearing a red shirt.
She's dead. I tell myself to help me stay calm. There is literally no way that that's her.
My heart rate slows the woman turns around and she looks to be a teacher for the school. I take a deep breath and then turn back to Elena who gives me a weird look.
"Talking isn't your strong suit huh, dude?"
"Only when it's to a girl as pretty as you." I say "Tomorrow? At five after the reapings? I'll bring the peanut butter." I say with a wink.
"It's a date." she says with a smile as she turns around and goes back to her group of friends. They begin to jump up and down with excitement as returns with the news of our great peanut butter date.
"How'd it go?!" ask Cord, who literally comes out of nowhere, and slams me into the locker.
"We have a date for tomorrow," I say still unable to believe it.
"ATTA BOY!" screams Cord. "MOVE OUT THE WAY PEOPLE. MICAH GOTTA DATE AND BOYS ABOUT TO GET HYPE!" he continues as we exit the school building and head home for the weekend.
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Cortana Ramslee, 18
District 3 Female
Every year, of this month, of these strand of days, my mom makes a casserole every night for the Cobalt family. Which I honestly don't have a problem with. What I do have a problem with is that every year, of this month, of these strand of days I'm having to bring the casseroles to them.
My mom was best friends with Ms. Cobalt. They went through all sorts of things together, they were friends since the sandbox. She committed suicide a couple of years ago. I think Annalise, who was is my age, handled it a little better than her brother Micah. He's a good kid. Good head on his shoulders, funny, but the whole thing really messed him up. He always talks to me when I drop these off like he's talking to an old friend.
I knock on the door and a few seconds later Micah stands at the door. He looks like he's a little sad, but he seems to be staying strong. I know it's approaching the anniversary of his Mother's death. Hence the casserole.
"Hey Cortana!" he says instantly getting slightly more peppy upon seeing me. "How're you doing?" he asked me.
"I'm doing good, Micah." I say holding out the casserole. "My mother made you this...uhm. To be honest I'm actually not sure what this is, but you don't have to cook today, so yay!" I say with a sarcastic enthusiasm. He chuckles to himself and steps aside so I can enter the room.
"Come on in," he says.
I walk into the house, and every single time I'm blown away with how clean it is. I see Annalise around school. She didn't make the program like me, but she's always so organized. I can't believe their house is the same way too.
"So how was classes today?" I ask him as I walk into the kitchen and set the casserole down onto the counter.
"They were pretty good." he responds as I hear him sit on the couch and turn the tv on. "I got a date for tomorrow!" he says. I can tell he was holding that in, but just couldn't wait anymore. I turn and leave the kitchen with a smile and a chuckle. I find a spot on the opposite sofa from him and plop down.
"Oh yeah?" I ask. "Who's the lucky girl?"
"Elena Bright!" he responds almost too excited.
She's a pretty girl. She's always been popular as well. Good on the kid for scoring a moderately decent girl. I'm just glad it wasn't some nasty hoe that seems to be popular in the "I'm not so smart" school. "She's a good kid." I say. "You've received my approval." I say with a joking voice.
His bubbly demeanor has returned for a split second, but almost as soon as it comes, it leaves. I look at him a little saddened and then do my best to be comforting. It's not something I'm used to doing.
"I know this is probably not my place to ask, but how have you been since your mom..well..you know."
A few minutes of silence goes by as his face sinks. No longer able to hide the pain he's been feeling this week a tear rolls down his face. "It's just kind of hard, you know? The last time I saw my mom we got into a huge fight over something stupid. I didn't even get a chance to tell her I love her one last time before she died." multiple tears are rolling down his face, and I'm immediately uncomfortable. I can't remember the last time I cried. So seeing someone else do it is hard. "I was the one who found her body.."
I actually didn't know that. That explains a lot actually, why he's so dependent on his sister. Why he's so scared of her or their dad walking out. He's a more complex person than I originally gave him credit for.
"I'm so sorry, Micah." and for once I actually mean it.
"It's not your fault. It's not like you convinced her to kill herself." he says as he rubs his nose and sniffles. After a few more seconds he looks up and smiles. "Besides. I have a hot date tomorrow after the reapings! If that doesn't cheer a guy up I don't know what will!" he says happily.
I laugh as I stand up from the sofa I was sitting on and head for the door. Before I exit their home, I turn and look at Micah. "Well, I'll be bringing another casserole. Same time tomorrow." I say with a nod.
"Tell Ms. Alexa thanks." he says as I exit the door.
"Will do." I respond
I'm still trying to wake up from
From this nightmare, from this nightmare
Where everything is in it's right place
But you're not there, no you're not there
Micah Cobalt, 15
District 3 Male
I wake up hearing a noise in the kitchen. It's the middle of the night, and everyone should be asleep. Tomorrow is mom's funeral, and I had just gotten to a point where I dozed off when the noise happened. It sounded like a thud.
I get up from my bed and walk over to the door of my bedroom and tip-toe out of my room. I head down our long hallway and into the living room where the light is on in our kitchen. Stumbling through the living room I end up in the kitchen with my dad lying face first on the floor in a pile of blood. I scream as my sister comes running down the hall and upon seeing the state he's in springs into action. She ties his wrist closed with a pair of towels on the counter and orders me to call a PeaceKeepers.
I awake with a start and covered in sweat. That's a night that haunts me every time around this year. It's always been a family secret that dad tried to kill himself. The PeaceKeepers never actually did come, and it was a miracle that he stopped bleeding.
"You okay, Sport?" ask Dad as he stops in front of my bedroom door and sees my covered in sweat. You'd have never guessed that this man was once suicidal.
"Yes, I'm okay. Just a bad dream."
He nods and then smiles. "Well, it was only a dream." No dad, it was reality two years ago. "Go ahead and start getting ready for the reapings! It's your sister's last one." he says as he continues down the hallway and into the master bedroom.
I take a deep breath and walk over to my closet and search for clothes to wear. I honestly haven't thought about the reapings, because all I've been able to think about is my date with Elena. It's been a beacon of hope in this trying week for me.
I decide to settle with a plaid blue and white button down and a pair of khaki pants. I throw a a pair of white tennis shoes on and then head to the living room where Annalise is already waiting for me. She's become my mother figure. She has her life all planned out. She's engaged, and they're getting married a month from now. I just hope she doesn't stay around for me. She feels she has this responsibility almost to make sure I'm okay all the time.
We leave the house and begin the long walk to the square. We talk about casual things, and when we finally get to the check in line we separate and go to our respective places. After I get pricked I find the 15 year old boy section and look for Cord. He standing at the very edge of the section talking to the girls that are on the other side.
"Hey," I say as I slide next to him. He sees me and gives me a highfive and then looks at the girls he was talking to.
"Sorry ladies, you'll have to settle for me. This fella here is off the market!" he says laughing as the escort walks onto the stage and taps the microphone.
"Hello, District 3,.." she says with a big smile. "This the reapings of the 31st games, and I bet you can imagine how excited I am to be the escort for District 3."
She's probably lying. All the escorts want Career districts.
"Let's get started." she says as she walks to the back and pulls out a girl's name from a bowl. She walks back and clears her throat and begins to open the envelope. "The female tribute for the 31st Hunger Games is...Cortana Ramslee!"
My jaw drops and there is a small yelp that I hear coming from the 18 year old girl section. She doesn't move as the PeaceKeepers go and grab her to carry her to the front. When she gets to the front of the stage she just stands there with her jaw open. She takes a deep breaths as the escort ask her a ton of questions, but none of them seem to be making impacts.
"Okay, well, let's move on then!" she says excitedly. She walks over to the boys bowl and pulls a name from it. When she gets back to the stage she opens it and smiles as she reads out the boys name.
"Micah Cobalt"
What the actual hell.
"NO!" screams my sister as she runs for the stage.
The PeaceKeepers pull her back as I walk by and she reaches out her hand for me as she cries. When I get to the top of the stage I stand next to Cortana who still has the same slack-jawed facial expression. I reach out and grab her hand, and that seems to snap her into reality.
"You're going to be oka," I say
"You too," she whispers as she squeezes my hand.
Of course, we both know that we won't both be okay. In order for one of us to be okay. Someone has to die.
"DISTRICT 3 I GIVE YOU YOUR TRIBUTES! CORTANA RAMSLEE AND MICAH COBALT"
Well I always try to have at least one District where they were connected in someway. This just seemed fun. What did you think of these two? Like them? Predictions?
Keep it classy,
Caleb