The fluff is STRONG with this one.
Wrote this instead of doing my homework. Enjoy~
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They were washing dishes, when Kazahaya finally got up the nerve to ask.
Rikuo had been quiet, more so than usual, in the past couple weeks. He'd barely mumble a "good morning" like he used to, hell Rikuo had even stopped waking Kazahaya up in the morning... not that Kazahaya missed being rudely awakened or needed someone else to wake him up... And his teasings and taunts had almost completely diminished. Not that Kazahaya missed that either.
It was just weird, and... not very Rikuo-like, that was all.
"So," Kazahaya started, keeping his tone casual. "You've been pretty quiet lately..."
He let the words trail off expectantly, giving Rikuo a sideways glance.
Rikuo Hmm'd but said nothing else, passing Kazahaya another dripping dish for him to dry off.
Kazahaya took the plate, noticing purple bags under Rikuo's eyes that were never there before. He bit his lower lip. Rikuo had also been coming home late, from Kakei's missions, Kazahaya assumed. He could always hear the front door open and close in the wee hours of the morning.
"Are you getting enough sleep?"
Rikuo said nothing.
Kazahaya wanted to kick something. He had put off talking to Rikuo, hoping his roommate would say something about his behavior, but three weeks of silence and Kazahaya was ready to corner Rikuo. They were roommates and... kinda friends, shouldn't they be able to talk about this? Whatever this was? It irked Kazahaya that Rikuo's silence worried him, he'd never realized until now how much he enjoyed Rikuo and his interactions, even if they were confrontational or boarder line flirtatious.
Maybe that's what he missed...
Kazahaya could admit to himself that he was feeling ignored, and not just "my friend isn't speaking to me" way, but in another... that couldn't be explained.
Kazahaya missed the grinning and smirks that Rikuo always threw his way. He missed the way Rikuo would whisper in his ear, saying something obscene or silly, so their boss wouldn't hear. He missed how Rikuo had recently begun watching him, eyes boring into his back when he thought Kazahaya wouldn't notice, or when he would walk out of the shower shiftless, or when Kazahaya had to lean in close to say something during a shared mission; the stares Rikuo would send were obvious and would send an unknown shiver down Kazahaya's spine. He missed the way Rikuo would poke him at work, or tug his hair, or touch him at all.
Rikuo passed him another plate and Kazahaya tried to touch his fingers to Rikuo's during the transfer and when he did, Rikuo dropped the plate and it fell to the floor, shattering into watery pieces.
"Shit, sorry, I'll get that," Rikuo mumbled, shutting off the water and heading to get the broom and dust pan.
Kazahaya stood, bewildered. Yes, their hands definitely touched, Kazahaya made it pretty obvious that he'd done it on purpose. Why did Rikuo flinch away? Kazahaya frowned and stepped back as Rikuo swept the mess.
"Rikuo, can you talk to me?" Kazahaya tried again, deciding to be more straightforward. "We used to always be able to talk things out..."
Rikuo's movements slowed down. He straightened up and gave Kazahaya his attention.
"We never 'talked things out,' if anything we yelled it out."
"Well, do you want to yell things out then?" Kazahaya kept his voice calm though, raising his eyebrows quizzically.
Rikuo scoffed, shaking his head at the floor.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Kazahaya's frown deepened. "But I do."
Rikuo smiled sarcastically, meeting Kazahaya's eyes again.
"Well the world doesn't revolve around you, Kazahaya." His voice was like venom.
Kazahaya's jaw dropped. "No, but we live together and you should definitely consider my feelings when you ignore me for almost a month," Kazahaya's voice was beginning to raise in volume.
"This isn't about you," Rikuo's voice was still sharp, with a waver that sounded like he'd start shouting any second.
"Even if it isn't, I want to be there for you and hear what's going on in your life."
Rikuo almost interrupted Kazahaya with how fast he responded "Yes, it's my life," he released the broom handle so it clattered against the counter and slipped to the floor. "And I can choose what to disclose about it so back off."
Kazahaya's mouth opened wordlessly.
"Rikuo... I've held my tongue this whole time, waiting for you to bounce back or tell me what's going on. I've never pried or asked Kakei or anything," Kazahaya could feel himself shaking with suppressed emotion; the natural urge to shout in order to get his point across.
"Why can't you just talk to me? You know I won't judge or-"
"Because," Rikuo stepped over the pile of broken glass to get in Kazahaya's face, who shrunk back against the sink. "It is none of your business."
Rikuo's glowing green eyes had never intimidated Kazahaya until now. Kazahaya never realized how much bigger Rikuo was either, how easily he could put him in the ground, if Rikuo wanted to.
But then again, Kazahaya knew Rikuo would never hurt him.
They'd never had a fight like this, where both of their voices were quiet. A beat passed before Kazahaya inhaled a shaky breath.
"But I'm worried about you..."
Rikuo's tired, angry eyes softened a bit, glancing down.
Kazahaya's racing heart stopped and started again for a different reason.
Is he looking at my lips?
Rikuo flicked his eyes to meet Kazahaya's again. "Then stop, please."
Kazahaya's lips parted. "I can't..."
Rikuo closed his eyes and sighed irritably.
"You're my friend, Rikuo. I'll always worry about you, whether you like it or not."
Calling Rikuo his friend sounded wrong in Kazahaya's mouth though. Even when he said it, Kazahaya hesitated on the word. But he didn't know what else to call their relationship. This odd, on and off flirting and fighting, bickering and laughing, glancing and touching. But nothing ever concrete, nothing really substantial. Always dancing around the subject, Kazahaya getting defensive when asked about it by his boss, Rikuo acting indifferent about everything. Maybe these were factors Rikuo could easily brush aside, but Kazahaya couldn't. Something had been growing between the two boys and Kazahaya was curious to find out what. So curious it hurt. And now that Rikuo was ignoring him out of the blue, it hurt even more – how could Kazahaya not take it personally?
Couldn't Rikuo understand Kazahaya's insistence?
"Why are you being so distant?" Kazahaya mumbled quietly, casting his gaze down to the floor.
Kazahaya watched Rikuo's hands relax at his sides and move to gently take him by the chin to tilt his head back up.
Kazahaya's heart rate slowed as Rikuo caressed his hands up Kazahaya's jaw line, thumbs reaching under his eyes and stroking out to his hairline. Kazahaya felt a calm wash over him as his eyelids slipped closed, Rikuo's hands continuing to slowly move around his head and down his neck and shoulders. He heard Rikuo sigh and step closer, feeling the warmth of his body barely touch his.
Rikuo brought a hand back up to cup one side of Kazahaya's face, which the smaller teen leaned into. Kazahaya took the hand on his cheek in his, letting the pads of his fingers barely lace in between Rikuo's knuckles.
A moment of calming silence passed before Rikuo spoke again, voice agonizingly soft.
"I'm not being distant," he started, waiting as Kazahaya opened his eyes.
"I chose you, Kazahaya, over someone else... I chose to stay here with you."
Kazahaya didn't understand. His puzzled eyes reflected in Rikuo's.
Rikuo sighed again, pulling Kazahaya against his chest, touching his lips to the top of his head.
"These past few weeks..." Rikuo spoke into Kazahaya's hair. "I have been keeping an eye on Tsukiko-"
Kazahaya whipped his head back up so fast he almost smacked Rikuo's chin.
"You found her?!"
"Yes..." Rikuo's expression remained soft. "And she's fine, and knows I'm okay too."
He combed his fingers through Kazahaya's hair, smiling softly at Kazahaya's beaming face.
"But she immediately wanted me to run away with her. She's in a tight situation and requires protection, but see..." here Rikuo griped Kazahaya's shoulders hard.
"I'm selfish. I love her, and I want her to be safe, but I can't leave you. I physically can't."
Kazahaya blinked. "Yes you can. What if something else happens and she can't help herself-"
"No, I can't," Rikuo spoke seriously, leaning down to be more eye level. "This is why I didn't want to tell you, this is why I don't want you to worry." Rikuo's fingers moved from Kazahaya's shoulders to grip blond hair.
"I'm keeping tabs on her, and she's a strong woman, she's made it this far even without my help..."
Kazahaya tried to understand, but all he felt was confusion, with underlying elation.
"I still care for her, of course, but... I care for you more. And I want her to be happy, but I want you to be even more so; over-flowingly excited. And I want to be in your life to see your happiness, to experience it with you."
Kazahaya's lips had parted minutely, eyes shimmering with moisture, cheeks reddening with excitement.
Rikuo tapped his nose to Kazahaya's.
"I love her, but I'm in love with you, Kazahaya."