*Brittany's POV*
My heart just dropped and now it's resting in my stomach.
"What?" I heard Quinn say. This is ridiculous I can't believe Santana's Dad died.
"My Dad died. It was the day before we started out Senior year and I was so excited because Brit was coming home and usually when Brittany came back she would come straight to mine and we'd talk about what she'd done that holiday. So like normal I was so hyper about it. My mum told me she wasn't coming back until later that evening so I just sat in front of the door, cuddling this fat, over sized unicorn waiting for Brittany. It got to around 8 that night and I knew Brittany should've been here by now but she wasn't so I went into my Dad's study. He turned around in that big leather spinny chair of his and he just looked at me and tears began to fall down my face. He told me that he and I were going to watch our movie that evening…" Santana said. Her body had retreated into itself and she was not cuddling her knees and that fat unicorn.
"What film?" I say in a harsh tone
"Brittany! Have some God damn respect would you?!" Quinn had whipped her head round towards me and was speaking through gritted teeth.
"Sorry. But where's this going Santana?" I asked in a softer tone than before
"The film was Finding Nemo. And don't go laughing at me because my Dad and I had been watching it since it came out. It was our go to movie whenever I was sad or angry. Even heartbroken. Or if he had a bad day at work or something had happened with Mami or his family. This time was different I was so upset, I hadn't stopped crying for about and hour or something ridiculous like that. It's pretty stupid now hey. But because of this my dad decided to get me ice cream from that little convenience store on the corner it should've taken him about 20 minutes to get there and back. But it got to an hour and he wasn't home, the phone began to ring and I just remember watching my Mami break down she was crying hysterically and I ran to her I tried to comfort her, but she wasn't having any of it, then she said those 3 words that changed my life completely, she just whispered Santana, Papi's gone. Being all innocent like I was when it came to my Papi I just asked where and she just told me he'd died. My world was shattered. My idol. The man who meant everything to me was gone." Santana whispered those final words, the tears were falling fast down her face
"How did it happen?" I whispered. Watching my old best friend, the girl i once loved break down in tears was horrible.
"When he got to the store everything was fine. But then an armed gun man came in. My dad tried to grab the gun off him and in doing so he was shot. Multiple times. The gun man he got away, but the police knew who it was." Santana whispered her knuckles were becoming white from the grip she had on he clothed knees
"Santana? Why didn't you tell anyone? Why wasn't this on the news?" Rachel whispered as she held Quinn's hand. I wish I could comfort Santana but I knew it would do no good.
"I couldn't." Santana whispered. Now I was getting angry, not at Santana because I know it wasn't her fault but at myself, the police. Even damn Ice Cream.
"What the hell do you mean you couldn't?" I yelled. She winced at my words. I know it's not going to be simple but I don't just want my San back, I need her back and sometimes the only way to get through to Santana is to get angry at her because it makes her understand you're serious.
"The man who shot my dad was a police officer so they wanted to keep it under wraps as he was one of the best police officers in Lima. I know it's stupid and I should've said something, but I couldn't. And I know you're all thinking well why become a bitch then? I became a bitch because I didn't believe that anything was worth living for so I gave up with caring about people's feeling. And I picked on, no bullied Brittany the worst because I blamed Brittany for my father's death" I swear the anger level just rose.
"What? How could you blame me Santana?! Me! I was your best fucking friend no the god damn gun man who shot your dad! It wasn't my fault! I can't believe you'd blame me!" I stood up and stormed out of the room. I can't even look at her. Yes, I'm angry, but it also hurts to know I got blamed for her fathers death.
*Rachel's POV*
"Brittany?" Quinn whispered and followed Brittany. Brittany just stormed out. Oh My Fucking God! Brittany just left.
"Santana? Are you ok?" I whispered as I slowly walked over to the Latina
"No Rachel. I'm really not ok" And that was when I saw Santana slowly crack and break before me. I slid of the couch and walked over to the love seat where she was huddled into her self. She was rocking her body backwards and forwards clutching the stuffed unicorn and I couldn't watch anymore, I wrapped my arms around Santana and held her close until her sobbing subsided.
"Rachel can I continue? Do you think Britt and Quinn will come back and listen to what I have to say?" she whispered against my shoulder.
"I'm sure they will Santana. Do you want me to go and get them?" I asked as I stroked the back of her head
"Please." She whispered as she got up to get a glass of water. I walked over to the door of mine and Q's room. In case you hadn't guessed Quinn and I are together. We've been dating in secret since the summer Britt went to London. I know shocker. We decided to get an apartment together and Santana moved in, now Britt has as well. It's a full house.
I reached my room and heard yelling, it was mumbled, but I could just make out what they were saying.
"Brittany. Just let her explain. Then you can explain everything that happened to you because of Santana and then you can move on!" Quinn yelled
"Move on? MOVE ON? Quinn you don't get it. You were never bullied by Santana" Brittany exclaimed
"But I did watch her do it to you. I know that you want her back Britt. I know you miss the way you guys were. Just give her a chance to explain. Please. If not for her, then for yourself" Quinn said and I heard movement in the room the door swung open and I was face to face with Quinn who had Britt a few centimetres behind her.
"Rach? What're you doing?" Quinn asked
"Santana she wanted you guys to let her finish explaining. Please just give her a chance?" I whispered and then I felt a wind go past me and I saw Britt had gone. I grabbed Quinn's hand and we all headed back into the living room and took our seats again.
*Santana's POV*
I'm still sat on the love seat huddled in a ball, salty tear stains plastered across my cheeks. I hate this, but if I want Britt back then I need to tell her everything.
"Well get on with it San-Santana" Brittany says and her little slip up with the nickname gives me the slight bit of hope.
"I blamed you because I thought that if you had of come round that night he wouldn't have gone to the store and he wouldn't have died. So I bullied you to make you feel the same amount of pain I felt. And I know how fucking stupid it was but I didn't think I had any other option. It was the only way I could deal with his death without wanting to die. I didn't know how to deal with it and because of the stupid cops I had no one to talk too, my Mami was messed up, she wasn't dealing with Papi's death at all well. So I was alone. And I should've gotten professional help when it happened. I never did. Even now. I've been having these night terrors for so long they almost became normal, it's not until I moved in with Quinn and Rachel that I realized they weren't normal. The night terrors always start of as dreams, dreams of Brittany and I being happy and having so much fun together, but then I relive that day, the ice cream and finding nemo, Papi not coming home. All of it. That's when I start to wriggle and cry and scream. But it only gets worst when I started thinking about Brittany and everything that happened. That's usually when Quinn or Rach come and wake me up, I can't handle it. I'm just so messed up and I need help, real help. I know what I did was stupid and I had no right to do that to you Britt, especially not when you were the only person who was there for me when I needed someone. Brittany, you were my best friend and I want to get back to where we were. I miss you Brittany and I miss how we were." I tell them, there may have been 3 people in the room with me, but I only cared about 1 persons opinion, Brittany's.
"Santana. I need to tell you about what your actions did to me, I'm doing this to make you upset or angry or anything, I just need you to know, we both need to know. I need to say it out loud and you need to listen. When you began bullying me, that first day, I was heartbroken. It killed me. You pushing me away like that, it's like being shot repeatedly though your heart. Then you started bullying me, and so did many other people because I didn't have you telling anyone who called me stupid to shut up or you'd go all Lima Heights on them. You know how bad it got Santana? How many nights I'd go home after school and get beaten up on the way home? How I began skipping school because it was so bad! How I started to cut myself?" Brittany yelled at me.
"You did what?!" I asked tears beginning to build in my eyes
"I cut myself Santana. I melted the plastic on my razor and took out the blade and then I slit my wrists, I cut ever piece of skin I could find! And now! Now I can't wear t-shirts without feeling self conscious. I can't wear shorts without feeling scared. I'm not the Brittany I was because of you. But that's not the worst part. You know when my parents found out I was gay they kicked me out of the house because I was finally honest with them after all those years of secrets and lies. And that was it, there goes my family. Not just my mom and my dad, my little sister was taken from me, none of my family speak to me anymore. Not one of them, they all blocked me on facebook, mom cut off my debit card, all the money I'd worked so hard for, I spent every week day working at the Lima Bean, every evening working at Breadstix and every weekend helping teach children to dance so I had enough money to buy a plane ticket to NYC. I got that plane and headed to New York, no plan, no money and nowhere to live. I had nothing, so I ended up living on the streets of New York begging people for money I barely had enough money for food and water. I knew that this was how I was going to die and I was ready to die. I wanted to die. I needed to die. Life had nothing left to give me! I had nothing left. The day you found me I hadn't eaten for 3 days maybe 4, I hadn't had much to drink either. So I collapsed on the sidewalk outside your apartment building, I was praying that that was the end, that life would be over. That I wouldn't have to wake up again. But I did, I woke up here. Santana you broke me. And I hated you for what you did to me! I hated you! But you know what pissed me off the most? I never stopped caring about you, I never stopped loving you! And that annoys me the most, because even after everything I'm still that stupid, brainless, bubble head who followed you around like a lost puppy. I'm still that girl who loved you despite everything people said to me. That's still me! And it's not fucking fair Santana!" Brittany yelled
"You know if I could go back I'd change everything that happened between us! Brittany S. Pierce, you know me better than anyone and I know you better than anyone. I need you back Britt. I've missed you more than anything. I've never missed anyone as much as I missed you, I miss my Papi. He's my idol and I know he would be so disappointed in me for what I did to you and made you do. He loved you so much Brittany, you were like his second daughter and I know he would slap me silly, with a fish. I swear to you that I'm never going to hurt you ever again Brittany, you're my best friend and I love you. Give me a chance? Please Brittany." I begged, tears were falling freely and I could see Quinn and Rachel looking between the two of us neither of them knowing what exactly they should do. Then Brittany spoke up.
"I'm sorry Santana. I can't. Not now. I missed you too, but I'm just not ready to forgive you yet. Not after everything that happened. But I love you Santana Lopez. I do. I just can't do this now." Brittany whispers and then she runs out of the apartment.
This time, I know she'll come back. She has to come back.
A/N Longer chapter this time because I felt bad for not updating for a while so sorry. Please give me your feedback