*Brittany's POV*

So once again I am walking round the streets of New York, it's beginning to get dark and since the last time, I'm kind of scared to be alone. God! What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't know if I want to go back and see Santana. I don't know if I can deal with that. I love her so much, she's been my best friend for so many years and I do want to get back to where we were, but I meant it when I said I wasn't ready.

At least Quinn and Rachel will be there right?

I walked back towards their apartment, obviously I was walking at a fast pace because I'm still not over what happened. Any who it took some time to get there, it also took music. As I reached the apartment Songbird started playing through my earphones and it felt like I was being stabbed through the heart, this song has always reminded me of Santana and the thing we had. I miss her so much.

Fucking tears.

I got buzzed in and headed up to the apartment, knocking on the door praying Quinn or Rachel would answer. I guess I'll find out because the door just opened and unluckily I was met by brown eyes. Santana. I looked into her eyes and saw that they were puffy and all red, has she been crying?

"Brittany? I didn't know you were coming back" Santana snuffled and wiped ferociously at her eyes

"Sorry. I should've said. Are you ok?" I asked her. "Don't answer that that was a stupid question"

"No Britt its fine. And please don't use that word; I know how much it hurts you!" Santana whispered as she opened the door wider allowing me to walk in, I looked across to the sofa and saw and open copy of The Notebook with a take out pizza box laying on the coffee table next to a melting tub of Chunky Monkey ice cream. She is taking this really hard. The last time I saw her like this was when she was dumped by Puck after she refused to have sex with him, that was also the day she told me she was gay. God I remember she came round at about midnight and she looked terrified, her eyes were black, blood shot and puffy. She'd been balling her eyes out and it was obvious. I took her inside and she told me all about Puck and what he'd tried to do, I honestly thought I was going to explode that day I was so angry. I pulled her into a hug and we just stayed like that until she stopped crying she pulled away from me and I held her cheeks forcing her to look into my eyes, I made sure she was ok by just keeping her close by. That's when she began leaning in and next thing I knew her lips were connected to mine and she was sucking on my bottom lip. Obviously I kissed her back. I felt fireworks and it was the best thing to ever happen to me, but when she pulled away she broke down and told me repeatedly that she was sorry and that she didn't want me to hate her and that she didn't wanna loose me. I just told her to calm down and once she'd done that she told me she was gay and I told her I was too. We both hugged each other so tightly. Then we went to the couch and cuddled whilst balling at The Notebook, eating pizza and chunky monkey. Since then that's what we did when either of us was upset or heartbroken, whatever it was we did that.

So Santana must be heartbroken or really upset about something and I wanna find out.

"Santana. I know you. You only do this when you're upset or heartbroken. Why are you doing this?" I asked her as I followed her into her bedroom

"Leave me alone Brittany" she spat back

"No! Don't start this again Santana! We were both trying to work on what happened and I don't want you to do what you did senior year again" I yelled

"FUCK!" Santana yelled and then she slid her arms across her draws knocking every photo frame to the floor. She started to throw everything around her room whilst screaming. I stood in the door way in shock, she's been like this since the start of Senior year.

I heard thudding coming from her direction and saw her fist colliding with the brick wall repeatedly, her knuckles instantly becoming bloody. She fell to her knees and began to shake and sweat. I ran to grab my phone out of my bag that I'd left on the kitchen counter, once I came back her top and sweat pants were sticking to her skin. Then she looked at me and mouthed "I'm sorry. I love you" and then she fainted.

"Quinn answer your god damn phone!" I yelled down the phone whilst I crouched next to Santana's limp body. She's been out for about half an hour and I've left both Quinn and Rachel over 30 voicemails. Finally the front door opened just as I was about to call for an ambulance.

"QUINN! RACHEL! HELP ME! PLEASE!" I screamed, tears poured down my face and I heard footsteps running towards San's room whilst they shouted my name.

"Brittany? What happened?" Rachel said in a panic while Quinn ran towards Santana.

"I-I-I" I stuttered not knowing what to say or how to say it.

"Come on Britt. Let Quinn help now" Rachel said as she guided me away from Santana and onto her bed.

"Santana. It's ok. You're here. You're safe. Everyone is safe and ok." Quinn hushed Santana

"No Quinn! Don't lie to me! My Papi's gone! My Mami's gone! Brittany's gone! Brittany! Quinn where's Brittany? Is she ok? Is she alive? Is she dead? Where is she Quinn? I need to find her! I need her! I love her! Where did she go? She's safe right?" Santana yelled while she frantically looked around the room searching for me, I tried to step forward and go closer to her, but a small arm was holding me back.

"Rachel let me go." I said

"No. Brittany, I don't think that it's a good idea for you to go to her right now!" Rachel told me and then I pushed her away and ran over to where Santana and Quinn were.

Santana was struggling under Quinn's hold, she was not happy. "Santana? I'm here. I'm ok. I'm alive. I'm not dead. I'm here. You already found me Santana. You need me, I need you and I love you too! I didn't leave you, I never left you. I'm safe as long as I'm here" I told her as I slowly knelt down to her and put my hands on her face.

"Brittany? You're here! You're safe!" Santana whispered, her hands slowly coming up to cup my cheeks as if I was a glass girl.

"I'm here Santana I'm here" I whispered. Tears began to fall from both of our eyes and both of us just kept staring into each other eyes holding each others cheeks. This is where I belong with Santana. But it doesn't change what happened between us in Senior Year. I think I'm going to take Santana to counselling, both of us together to get out everything we'd been through. By now Quinn had slipped away and was holding Rachel in her arms while Santana and I entwined our hands and without thinking I leaned in and pressed my lips against Santana's.

Worth it?

Hell yes.

I felt a pair of soft lips enclose over my upper lip. Our lips moved together like they belonged upon each other. You know when you see and old friend after a long time and you get that funny feeling in your stomach like a mix of nerves and excitement? That's what was happening right now. I felt Santana's tongue swipe along my bottom lip and a soft moan escaped from me allowing her tongue to collide with mine. This is it. Heaven.

Then we heard coughing and we both pulled away as quickly as we possibly could, Santana's eyes were as wide as a rabbit caught in headlights. Quinn and Rachel were smirking at each other and I felt my cheeks become red. Great, what I needed.

"I-I-I I gotta gay! Go! Go I gotta go!" I stuttered and then ran out of the room slamming the door to my room shut, I leaned my head against the back of the door and brought my hand up to my lips. A smile planted upon my face.

"Woah" I whispered.