Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot idea and a few side-character OCs.
Special thanks goes to:
1) Shippooliver, GreekGoddessHestia, tea-rex, TJ, Serrure, and bluejustic13 for reviewing! Thanks so much, all of you! (Since I can't respond to non peoples on , I'll answer you here:
Serrure: Aw, thank you! :) So happy that you think so!
TJ: I admit, I lap up that stuff too. ;) It's a lot of fun when it's well done, but I'm sometimes a bit annoyed by the way some people ignore everything BUT the angst in Kylo Ren's character- he's too multi-dimensional to just leave it at "he's emo and tortured and we'll just redeem him through feels". But that's just me, and it doesn't stop me from enjoying it when I'm in the mood. ;)
I think it's safe to say that we don't know what's going on inside Ren's head, yet, so the drastic change may be more of a mask than is portrayed at the moment. Not going to say that's the case; I'll only promise that I've worked pretty hard on making him realistic rather than pushing him into my own little box of "what Kylo Ren should be".
Hope you like how everything plays out! Thanks again for reviewing- I really appreciate it.)
2) I know I'm horrible for not naming everyone who followed and favorited this story, but I nearly spewed out my drink when I saw how many had done just that. Thank you thank you thank you, all! I'm really pleasantly surprised at the positive feedback I've gotten, and it's definitely inspiring. :)
Feel free to message or review, as always~
~Willow
.:Kylo Ren:.
Chapter Six: Promises To Keep
"You need to understand something, Rey of Jakku..."
The fire crackled a happy tune, shadows dancing cheerily around the decrepit hut's interior, but Rey paid them no heed. Crouched crosslegged on the dirty floor of Skywalker's home, the Scavenger girl watched intently as her host stirred a second bowl of soup, adding a few sprigs of spice to the dark, watery liquid. The Jedi sounded as weary now as he had on the shore; his head was bowed, the brown hood obscuring his face and beard.
"You were right to think of me as lost." He continued. His shoulders were taught and hunched. "I have been... lost... for some time now." Every word was painful, as though drawn from his tongue by a fishhook and string.
The hood rose, and half-closed, deadened blue eyes met Rey's searching gaze, their depths hauntingly sad, like twin wells of unshed, unacknowledged tears. But Skywalker was not one for weeping, it seemed - even with as little as she knew him, Rey knew that the old man felt no need to cry, as she had. The glistening in his eyes were tears that weren't meant to be shed - tears that were like droplets of acid to his soul.
Rey blinked, stiffening her lips and frowning resolutely. She felt no pity for this man - not after what he had said and done. All she had known of Skywalker had been betrayed by his own admissions, and the explanation he was about to offer her was justly owed and long overdue.
The silvery beard ruffled as the Jedi heaved a sigh, pausing in his soup-stirring to stare at her almost apologetically.
"I failed, Rey. You cannot know how painful it is to fail... not as I have. I lived to see the salvation of my family and my friends - the redemption of my father and the victory of our people." From the corner of her eye, Rey saw the wrinkled hands shake. "And now-"
The deep voice broke, cracking into a rasping shudder that reminded her of shattering glass, and Luke Skywalker crumbled in upon himself before her eyes, head bowing, one clasping at his shadowed face.
"Now I live to see my father's memory disgraced by the boy I could not tame, my people hunted by forces that refuse to die and leave us in peace- my sister tortured by my failures, and my friends-" Wretchedness muffled the words, distorting them with wet gasps, and the old man's body heaved with sudden emotion as painful shame consumed him. "What have I done... oh God- what have I done-" He sobbed, and the sparse walls echoed his grief.
Rey realized that wet warmth was trickling again down her cheeks. She brought trembling fingers up to scrub away the tears, sniffing roughly and clearing her throat. Her breath was as shuddering as Skywalker's, and her heart ached with sympathy she wished she did not feel.
"You left them all, Luke." She managed to croak, blinking rapidly to clear her gaze - fixing him with as steady a gaze as she could. "You left them all to die. That's what you did..."
But you can help us! She thought desperately, and her resolve shook. You can help us now, and everyone will forgive you for before...
The Jedi shook his head, his face still hidden behind his trembling hand. "No, Rey. I can't help any of you... not like this. I'm a broken man. I can see that clearly enough."
Shock that he had listened to her thoughts gave way to sudden rage that brought Rey sharply to her feet, hands fisting at her sides. She bared her teeth, glaring down at the hunched, robed figure before her.
"That's not good enough." She hissed thickly, tears still dripping from her chin. "They're depending on you!" The last words were nearly a shriek - a snarl she could not contain. "They need you- I need you!"
"You're wasting your ti-"
"No, you're wasting my time!" She couldn't stop anymore - there was too much desperation and fury; too much pity and pain. It had to stop. There was no respect to stop her from forcing the Jedi master to listen to her, now- he'd lost it the moment he sent her away.
"Your father committed sins - he made mistakes - and he was redeemed! He brought himself back from the Dark Side, and he saved lives doing it. Are you so arrogant that you think your sins are too great for redemption?"
Her shoulders were shaking - her lips were wet with salty tears of pure frustration and uncontrollable disgust. Skywalker stared up at her, now, his clear eyes wide and startled into blank shock. The hot soup was spilling over his hands, poured accidentally from its forgotten bowl. Rey didn't care - she wasn't finished.
"How DARE you think that!" She roared, stamping her foot against the unforgiving stone. "People need your help, Luke Skywalker, and you won't give it to them because you're too proud to try again - to accept your faults and move the fuck on with your life! You're too busy mourning the dead to bother with saving the living...!"
With a gasp, she broke off. Words almost choked her - there were too many to say, and she was too lost in memory and passion to piece them together. Every word brough back images - one chief among the rest.
-Dark fingers around a cold, shining handle - red blade in the white night- Finn's scream-
Sudden, agonizing fear and sorrow chilled her bones, and Rey trembled, hands coming up to fist against her weeping eyes. Her teeth bared as she sobbed, and she fell weakly onto her knees, head falling forward as she caved into herself.
"I was so scared..." She hiccuped, the words a hot whisper against her own lips as she struggled to breathe. "I was so scared... people were dying, and I couldn't do anything... I couldn't help him- he was going to die-!
"They all told stories about you- but now I can't believe them, and there's nothing else for me to do but watch while everyone else dies... if you don't help me learn the Force, Kylo Ren will find me-" She shivered, choking on a sob that threatened to break free. "I should've killed him when I had the chance... Now I can't forget him - the way he killed Captain Solo - and I'm terrified..."
A rough hand tentatively enclosed her thin wrist, a calloused thumb rubbing a gentle line against her veins. Rey froze, her swollen eyes aching against her stiffening fists, lips sucking in cool air.
When she lowered her hands, letting her eyes open to squint in the light, Luke Skywalker was kneeling before her. His pale, wrinkled fingers held her wrist firmly, and his expression was soft- understanding and wet with tears of his own. His blue eyes were clear and warm, mirroring her sadness and her despair.
"We both are weak." He murmured. "But you are far wiser than I..."
He smiled slightly, voice weak but resolved.
"...Take heart, young Padawan. We begin tomorrow."
A.N. short chapter is short - sorry, everyone... :( But the rest of what I was writing wouldn't fit well into this chapter, so I'm saving it for the next one.