Facing Fears

But I know a thing or two about pain and darkness...

-Lane Boy, Twenty One Pilots

This chapter's probably the shortest I've written - I think anyway. But enjoy! If you'd be so kind to leave a review, I would love that!

"You coming?" DiNozzo asked to Ziva. It was the end of the day and Gibbs had told everyone to go home.

"I think I'm going to stay and finish this paperwork." She smiled to him as she gestured to the small pile of folders on the edge of her desk. He was hoping she would say that so he could get back and prepare for his plan of getting her to talk.

"Alright. See you at mine in a bit then?" She nodded sleepily with a smile.

DiNozzo arrived at his apartment about half an hour after he left the Navy Yard. Traffic wasn't the best, but it could've been a lot worse. He was just grateful he got back with enough time to cook.

He entered his apartment, got changed and headed into the kitchen. Following his Italian roots he decided to cook lasagna. Tony laid out all of his ingredients and got straight into cooking it. Around an hour and half later, the lasagna was in the oven.

"I'd forgotten how long it took make from scratch." DiNozzo said to himself.

DiNozzo had just finished laying the table when he heard the door open. He walked over to Ziva, kissed her quickly, then gestured to the table. Ziva's mouth opened in shock. This was the last thing she expected. The dining table had a bottle of white wine chilling in the middle, two wine glasses either side, and a sprinkling of various colour petals.

"Is there an occasion I should have remembered?" Ziva asked in a playful tone, although she was worried she'd forgotten something important.

"Just felt like surprising you!" Now, this wasn't a lie. He'd been meaning to surprise her with something nice for a while and it just so happened that it would be the occasion that he asked her why she didn't want to move in together.

DiNozzo got the lasagna and served it up onto each of their plates and sat down to join her. He decided to work strategically into the topic of living together.

"Did you manage to finish that paperwork?" He asked just before he took his first bite of the lasagna.

"All but a few paragraphs. It got to a point where I just couldn't be bothered anymore." She chuckled as she took a sip of wine. "This tastes great by the way." She complimented the chef as she continued to eat.

"Yeah, paperwork makes everyone feel that way. And yeah, I didn't think it would taste good but it's not too bad." The next few minutes passed in silence until Tony decided to move onto the actual point of the meal.

"So, there's something I want to talk to you about..." He trailed off until she responded.

"Go ahead." She replied as she enjoyed her lasagna.

"I think we should move in together." He decided to just talk about it in small chunks rather than just throw it at her all at once, but she had different idea.

"Not this again." She got up from the table and was about to walk off until DiNozzo grabbed her wrist gently.

"Ziva, you can't avoid this forever no matter how much you try. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." Ziva avoided even looking in the same direction as him at this point.

"I'm tired, can we just talk about this some other time." It was more of a statement than a request.

"No, we can't." She felt his eyes cutting into her and decided to just finally give in. She snatched her wrist back and joined him back at the table.

"Ziva, I don't understand what's wrong? Every time I mention moving in together you freak out on me. Is it something I've done?"

"It is not you at all." Ziva replied quietly as she stared down at her hands.

"Then what is it? Ever since you came back we haven't spent a night apart. We're practically living together anyway so what's so wrong with making it official?" He honestly couldn't think of a reason why she was so opposed to the idea. She didn't answer for a few seconds until he raised his eyebrows, pushing her for an answer.

"Because then it's real..." She raised her voice at him.

"I don't understand?"

"When I came back, I didn't expect things to work out like they did. To go so well. Moving in together makes it real. My life has just got back on track and is going better than ever. I don't want it to be ruined. I don't want to end up hurting you or you hurting me. I don't think I'd be able to come back from that place in my mind again." She explained sadly. DiNozzo's expression turned to sadness too. He didn't expect that to be the reason and felt terrible for pushing her.

"Ziva, I'm sorry. I had no idea." He reached across the table and placed his hands on hers. "I promise I will never, ever hurt you, and if I ever do – unintentionally – then I won't stop trying to make it up to you until you're happy again. Look at it from a different point of view then; it won't be any different to now. In fact, it's even better! We don't have the annoying decision of having to pack stuff to take to each others, or arguing over who's apartment we'll be staying at." DiNozzo tried his hardest to persuade her. He wanted to take the relationship to the next level.

"You have some good points." She had to admit, he was doing a decent job at trying to persuade her. She looked up at him briefly and noticed the excitement in his eyes.

"But anyway, I'm just glad we've talked about it. I'm not rushing you or anything, you let me know when you feel like talking about it any more." He leaned over the table and kissed her affectionately for a few moments.

"I'm sorry." She said unexpectedly.

"What for?" DiNozzo stroked her hand reassuringly.

"For not telling you in the first place."

"It's doesn't matter now, don't worry about it." He leaned over once more and gave her a quick kiss. He picked up her plate and his own and loaded up the dishwasher before turning it on.

"We're both tired. Let's go and get some sleep." He held out his hand and she placed hers in his as he guided them to the bedroom.

After this chapter, my mind was on a roll so it does start to pick up and get better after this one! I hope you're enjoying - let me know!

Remember, you're wonderful!