I walked out of the shower with a trail of water behind me. I couldn't help but think of Francis, who made me crêpes; I couldn't decide if he was genuine or not. He was affectionate, but also a European. I put these questions aside.

"Henry, can you get my phone?" There was no answer. "Henry?" I was met with silence.

Sorry I couldn't make it to the party last night. Lunch? I sent this to the host of the party from last night.

Sorry, can't L. Jack is sick from last night, LOL.

"Henry, did you get the mail?" I opened the door to his bedroom, when I was faced with Henry vigorously masturbating.

"Hey!" he yelled, I was startled.

"Sorry!" I stepped back, almost shielding my crotch from what I thought might attack me. "But did you get the mail?"

"No! Fuck off!"

"Fine, I'll get it."

I read the mail in the lobby; Henry got a T.J. Maxx pamphlet, and I, a suspicious letter with a handwritten address. It came from DC. I examined it and flapped it around, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

I opened the door, and Henry sat on the couch with an unhappy look on his face.

"Did I get anything?"

"Yeah." I gave him the T.J. Maxx ad.

"I've been waiting for one of these cards!" I took my letter and placed it on my bed. I was nervous to open it, obviously, I had fear in me, at the same time guilt. I peeked my head out of the door.

"Henry, can I ask you for advice?" He paused for a moment.

"No."

"Okay." I said. "Do you want to go to lunch with me?" He said nothing. I waited, expecting to get him to change his mind. "Where do you want to go?"

"Uh…" He considered my request. "Some Jew place, maybe?"

"Sure. Have anywhere in mind?" I leaned on the doorframe.

"Are you coming onto me?" He sat up from the couch. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" I bit the inside of my lip. "I just want to talk."

"Don't you have other friends?"

"Not that I can talk to, really." It was true.

"Are you autistic?" He asked. I laughed. "I'm serious."

"No," I said. "I just don't have many friends. It happens. Will you go to lunch with me?" Henry was frustrated, obviously wanting for me to move onto someone else; he obliged.

"What about Second Avenue Deli?"

"Sure!" I ran to grab my purse and get my things.

"In a few minutes." I sat at the kitchen island and was patient. Henry grabbed his jacket.

"Let's go"

The Deli was small, at street level as part of a larger office building.

"What were you thinking about getting?"

"Fuck, I don't know." Henry had been silent for most of the way.

"I might get spinach pirogues." I said. "How was last night with your girlfriend?"

"Melissa? Oh, she was fine." He said. "She just wanted to sleep though."

"You sound disappointed."

"Hell yeah, I'm disappointed!" He threw his hands up in the doorway.
"That doesn't sound good" I overstated. Of course, it was no big deal. I just wanted to get Henry to like me.

"Yeah, I know. I think she's going to break up."

"What are you going to do?"

"Cheat on her."

"What?"

"Yeah. It's called artful manipulation"

"Henry, that's not good. Just be the good guy." Henry looked into space for a second.

"Nah, I think I'm just gonna cheat on her"

"Oh, uh," I wondered if I should meddle and warn Melissa. "Maybe she just wanted quality time with you!"

"Whatever." He took the collar of his shirt and rubbed his teeth with it. I cringed. We sat down at a booth.

"What would you like?" An older waitress with dry hair approached us with a notepad in her hands.

"I'll have a coffee." I said.

"Same here." He played with the paper menu attached to the table. "This guy came to school asking for you." I looked up, eyes like a deer in headlights.

"What?"

"Yeah, happened like a week ago." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I didn't say anything 'cause I thought it was dumb."

"Were you teaching?"

"No. I just got a call. You know that stupid ring?"

"That the phone makes?"

"Yeah, it's like 'BRAHNT, BRAH'," he gestured with his hands. "Anyway, I went down to the office and there was this guy eating a Big Mac. It was the most fucking awful thing I've ever seen. This dumbass with a bowl cut was like 'Where's Nicole' and I was like 'Fuck off.'" He smiled. "I saved you from your stalker, you know."

"Oh." I sipped on ice water.

"What, did you know him?"

"A little. What did he want?"

"Well, he said his name was Alfred, if that rings any bells," It did. "Also, I got yelled at, I hope you know."

"Thanks, Henry." I balled my fists and rested my chin like an easel. "I bet the kids think you're a hoot."

"You should see their faces when I'm there instead of their teacher. I'm kind of like a hero."

"Do you ever talk about me?" I asked, thinking of my old teachers who would talk about their personal lives with their students.

"Sometimes, I don't really know." He said.

"What did 'Alfred' say?"

"Allow me to recall" He looked in no particular direction like he was looking at his memories. "Well, I walked in, and the secretary told me there was someone looking for me. This guy was there on the couch, and he showed me this UN badge. He was kinda rude, 'cause he was eating when we were trying to have a conversation, and he called me 'dude' a lot. I hated it because it was looking at myself from the sixth grade."

"Harsh"

"Anyway, he asked me about you. I pretended not to know, cause, you know, you can't trust anyone with a badge," I nodded, "He said something about needing you again."

"Oh my god."

"Clingy, right?" I nodded, not saying anything. The waitress brought out our coffees. I nodded in thanks.

"Uh Henry," I peeled the lid off of the cream and poured it into my coffee. "Did I ever tell you about how I used to go undercover for the CIA?" Henry's mouth hung open in deliberate surprise.

"No shit!"

"Totally, it was rad," I said. "You believe me?"

"I mean, I want to. Are you lying?"

"No," I said. "But I just think that might be why some guy came to ask you questions. I'm pretty sure I knew him."

"There's no way that guy has government job." He sat back, crossing his arms. "Now I think you're lying." I shook my head. "Why did he want you, anyway?"

"I totally left when I wasn't supposed to." I giggled. "It's all kinda funny, now, cause it's almost like a funny story, but it was also kinda rough." Henry leaned in.

"You got any 'Nam stories?" I laughed.

"Not really. It was all spy stuff. I try to lead a fulfilling life."

"Yeah, me too. Last night I got a tattoo after Melissa fell asleep, just to get a tattoo."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's just a dumb fake tribal tattoo. Now I can say I'm tatted"