*Santana's POV*
What? Did Britt just ask me that?
"Brittany. I can't do that" I whisper
"Why not? What's wrong with me wanting to see him?" Brittany questions. I can see the disappointment in her eyes.
"Britt, I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with it, but I haven't been to my Papi's grave. Not once, never. Mami went a few times but I never did!" I stare at my feet on the sticky, dirty subway cart floor. The subway stopped minutes later, no one said a word, I ran off the subway and out onto the street. I ran. I don't actually have any idea why I ran, but I did. I headed to Central Park and just walked.
I guess everything just came flooding back, again. I just needed to be alone.
*Brittany's POV*
It's now midnight and Santana still isn't home. Quinn's had to stop me from calling the police because I was so worried about Santana. She could be lying in an alleyway somewhere, she could've been raped or murdered or something even worst! Rachel was going to go out and look for her, but Quinn told her not to. She said (and I quote) it's too late, we'll look first thing tomorrow. Stupid bitch won't let me look for San every time I've tried to run to the door she's taken me down like tackled me to the ground! She's kind of evil. Quinn was resting with her head over the back of the sofa, her eyes were closed so I made a break for it. I ran towards the door when I heard footsteps behind me.
"Nooooo" Quinn yells and it was almost like a slow motion scene from a movie, Quinn jumped onto the sofa and bounced onto my back. We were screaming at each other as we rolled on the ground like wild dogs trying to get to the door first. I squirmed out of Quinn's reach and ran to the door flinging it open only to find the person I'd wanted to search for. And with that I smacked her in the face.
"Ouch! Britt! What the hell?" Santana squealed
"You left! You've been gone for hours! Oooo I am so angry at you Santana Diabla Lopez!" I yell at her
"I brought Chinese food" Santana says holding up a bag of Chinese food!
"Diabla?" I turn my neck and see Rachel and Quinn giggling!
"Shut up Q" Santana yells her cheeks blushing slightly when she throws a pillow from the sofa at Quinn.
"San! That hurt!" Quinn fake cries
"Nice one San! You hurt my girl!" Rachel faked being angry
"Bullshit! Now are we gonna eat this Chinese food yes or no?" Santana laughed
"Santana! No! You can't just distract us with Chinese food! Why did you run off like that?" I said as I followed her through to the kitchen "You can't just not tell me about it! We said no secrets!" I yell and she stops
"Santana, you ran off and didn't tell anyone where you were going, where did you go?" I ask her and she just looks at me with sadness in her eyes
"I went to um, I went to" She begins to stutter, god what is wrong with Santana Lopez these days? "I went to the ld movie theatre that's just a few blocks from here. Nobody really knows that it exists just enough people know to keep the place running, they were showing It's a Wonderful Life in black and white on the big screen! It's the best Christmas movie I've ever seen and it made me think about how special life is and how you shouldn't take it for granted because everyday s a gift. I remember the first day we met. You were sa on the swings and Noah Puckerman came behind you along with Finn Hudson and they told you that stupid people weren't allowed to go on the swings, you started to cry and I came over and pushed the boys down yelling at them about how special you are! I didn't even know you. We were friends ever since" Santana giggled "I knew I loved you from that very moment" Santana walked over to me and grabbed my hands
"Santana, you know that I remember that story, but Santana you have to stop running away from me when you don't like what I'm saying, you need to let me in Santana otherwise this, us, it's never going to work." I tell her
"I know that now Britt and I want to do everything I can to make this work starting with our trip to Lima. I'm going to take you to see my Papi and I'm going to tell you the story of Senior year. I'm in love with you Brittany and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you because you are my soul mate" She whispers and the tears glide down my cheeks as I lean in to kiss her.
"You're really going to take me to see your Papi?" I asked her my forehead was resting against hers and we were looking into each others eyes
"Yes and at that Glee club reunion I'm going to tell them all what happened and ask for their forgiveness, but I want you guys by my side. I wanna walk in holding your hand Britt and I want Q and Rach to be walking beside us. Strength in numbers you know?" Santana turned to face Quinn and Rachel whilst keeping hold of my hand
"Quinn and I would be honoured to enter with you Santana" Rachel told her and then ran to hug her dragging Quinn and I in with her.
It was 3am when I woke up to an empty spot on the bed in Santana's room, we'd decided to share yesterday and I'd slept much better with her cuddled into my side but she wasn't there. I got out of bed and walked out of the room in my duck pyjamas when I heard the faintest sound of a piano playing. Then I heard her voice, so raspy yet so broken. I walked towards the door to the music room and saw it slightly open, I looked through the gap and what I saw shocked me, Santana was playing piano and singing yet she was crying, she kept looking down. And then I heard what she was singing
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
I pushed the door open slightly more and looked closely at her hands gliding acoss the piano keys, then I saw the blood, blood was dripping from Santana's arms. I pushed the door open and ran to her
"Santana? What did you do?" I say whilst looking at the cuts painted on her arms tears were falling from my eyes
"I'm sorry Brittany! I'm so sorry!" She was rocking back and forth in my arms as blood dripped onto my pyjamas and the piano keys, but I didn't care
"We have to get you cleaned up" I picked her up in my arms as she cried and took her to the bath tub. Thank god I knew what to do, I'd cleaned myself up so many times I knew exactly what to do. She began to cry even more as I cleaned them, probably from the pain. I cleaned her wounds and bandaged them up
"Brittany! Santana!" I heard Quinn shouting from down the hall, there were feet pounding on the floor as they ran towards the bathroom
"Are you ok? What? What happened?" Rachel gasped as they burst into the room. Santana was sat in the bath with bloody water, I was sat next to her on the floor stroking her hair with blood coating my duck pjs
"I cut myself for the first time in 2 years" Santana whispers a blank expression on her face as she starred at the bathroom tiles
"Santana no" Quinn yelled
"Why?" Rachel whispered
"It's December 19th, the same day I told Brittany that not only did I not love her, but I hated her. I believe the exact words were I hate you with every fibre of my being" Santana laughed
"Fuck" I whispered