As someone who knows all about nightmares, who could categorize herself as an expert in night terrors that keep you up until the sun peaks over the hills and the birds sing good morning, she's not convinced this isn't a nightmare.
This has to be.
A variety of different faces greet her when she finally floats to the top of her sea of unconsciousness, aching from every part of her body and she groans as voices reach her subconscious.
A pounding headache greets her as she cracks her eyes open for the first time in two months, and the world swims before her in pain and tears before sharpening so she can make out the faces of those before her.
There's her parents directly off to her right, sobbing happily as she quirks a smile at them, painfully, but it's worth it. "Hey there love-bug."
Her attention is caught by that nickname, and she furrows her brow. It's been years since her dad has called her that but his hand rests on hers and his eyes meet hers, swimming with liquid and she's confused.
She opens her mouth, trying to speak, but the only thing that leaves is a squeak that has painful bolts of lightning crawling down her throat and she squeezes her eyes closed. Another hand encases her left hand and wraps their fingers around hers but she can't look, she can't breathe because it hurts, oh god it hurts, and he's not here.
Her family's here, her parents, Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, Grenda, Candy, Soos and even Pacifica and Soos' girlfriend, Melody, but there's two people missing that she could see and she can't imagine where they might be or where they might not be because all she can see is his face, bloody and battered and his body pinned beneath the twisted seat of metal.
Suddenly she's back in the twisted hull of the burning bus shaking him, yelling for help until her throat is raw with smoke and panic and the fire's spreading, licking at his prone body and she's screaming as the pool of blood grows larger and larger and there's a beeping sound that ticks at her brain and grows with every beat of her heart but she can't focus on it because he's bleeding and dying and there's nothing she can do—
Her parents are crying as they're shoved out of the room, held back by nurses as the doctors rush in. Their little girl is convulsing, eyes rolled up in their sockets and she's screaming, thrashing, and the heart monitor is going crazy as she begins to foam at the mouth, choking on her words.
The foam around her lips turns red as they rip the blankets from her flailing form and two nurses have to pin her arms and legs to keep her still as another tries to inject something into her HIV but she's still writhing too bad on the bed despite the two nurses holding her down.
Suddenly, she stops.
There's silence as the monitor hits flat and reaches the unknown and a bubble pops. Her parents are crying and her great uncles are fighting the nurses holding them but a door swings close in front of them and they watch hopelessly as nurses and doctors rush to save their little girl's life.
One rips open the front of her hospital gown, privacy discarded, and a wheeled cart is parked next to her bed, where she lays still and unresponsive. Two pads are removed and they call out numbers as they press the pads to her sides.
Her body jerks once, twice, chest jumping off the bed but besides that she doesn't move, foam still dripping from her open lips as her eyes stay glued to the ceiling.
Again the pads are pressed and her body twists again but the neon line on the monitor stays as flat as it was before and they're pasted to the window, hoping, wishing, praying.
Finally as the pads are pressed into her sides again her body flails and her eyes snap around the room as her chest heaves. There's no time to breathe in relief before the door's being opened and her bed's being rushed from the room and although they run, they can't keep up with the little girl on the big white bed which makes her look smaller.
They're stopped by a door locking behind the running doctors and the final glimpse they get of her is a pale hand flopping over the side of the bed and bouncing as the bed rolls over the sanitized tiles of the hospital floor.
It's nighttime when she next wakes, she finds herself floating in a hazy sea that can only be sedatives and pain medication, and she painfully forces her eyes open.
The room is dark; the only light coming from the heart monitor she's hooked to and the glowing red button by her bed that's there in case something happens that requires immediate and swift help. Mabel's eyes roam the room and she finds her entire family asleep in the room.
At the end of her bed is a couch, and on it is piled most of her extended family. Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford are leaning on each other, snoring softly, and Soos and Melody are curled up together while Grenda hangs on the armrest. Candy is camped out next to them in a chair and after further studying, she sees Pacifica asleep, curled up in the armchair in the corner.
Her parents are leaned over the side of her bed, resting their hands by her, asleep to the world in the hard hospital chairs and her eyes rake over each one in the dim machine light.
The older twin's eyes finally sweep over the last person in the room, who's awake and whose eyes glimmer in the light leans forward into the glow. The person is to her right and a waterfall of red hair cascades over her shoulder and falls to her hips. In her limp hands lays a scrunched cap that Mabel can't make out the details to, but the faintly familiar design has her stomach churning in panic.
The mysterious girl leans forward, placing her hand on the girl in the hospital bed's, and smiles despite her red-rimmed eyes and watery gaze. When she talks, it's low and scratchy, and even though Mabel's stomach crawls, she smiles faintly at the familiar girl. "Hey girl."
Mabel's smile grows, which hurts her face but it doesn't matter because she's here, she's safe.
It aches, but she purses her lips and pushes through the pain. "W-wendy."
Wendy pulls her chair forwards and clasps her hand between her own. She sees the rising anxiety in the younger girl's eyes and her gaze softens, if possible. "Hey, hey, hey…it's okay. I'm here."
"D-d-d-" Her throat's on fire, slowly spreading to the rest of her body and she no longer feels light and airy and hazy. Her body's plummeting back to earth under the realization that Wendy's red-rimmed eyes and scratchy voice mean something.
She wants to say his name, but she's scared. What if he's next door, alive, like her, but saying his name could kill him? Names are powerful things, like hope, and it's killing her.
There's a heavy sigh and Wendy rubs the top of her hand with her thumbs. "Mabel…dude…I've got something to tell you." She sniffs, and instantly her stomach drops through the floor.
In the hall, nurses and doctors are calmly shuffling papers and rotating shifts.
A wail pierces the air, shattering the silence, and the pure agony coming from the scream is enough to break everyone's hearts. There's chaos as they all drop their things and run to the room that holds the little girl with the stump leg and cold brother, and the door is flung open to reveal her, on the bed.
She's sobbing, screaming as tears roll down her cheeks and sleepy parents crowd around her, shushing her and sobbing too, and on top of the bed, laid next to her, holding her close, is a red-head. In-between the two, held cautiously like gold, is a wrinkly and tear-stained blue and white baseball cap with the emblem of a pine tree sewn into the front.
"DIPPER!"
Another scream rips from the girl's throat and this time it's for real and she's bolting upwards, screaming, grasping at the sheets around her. She's drowning, losing herself to her watery subconscious which threatens to drown her like it did her twin.
Then she's sobbing, too loud to hear the thumps on the stairs, and suddenly the door's flung open and two sets of arms wrap around her and she can't breathe, can't seem to find the surface in the sea she's drowning in, but there's her anchor, a voice pressed to her ear that sounds like life.
"Mabel, breathe with me."
She's not there, she's not the one with arms wrapped around her, but it's enough, and she slowly rises to the surface. She breaks the top and gasps for air as the world comes spiraling back to her and there's a phone pressed into her ear as her chest heaves.
"Breathe. I've got you."
A/N: thank you to Lolapepsicola and ImpossibleJedi4 for the kind words, and I'll see you all on Wednesday!
-a.m