Going The Distance

Are you broken, like I'm broken?

-Youngblood, Green Day

It's been a while since I've updated this story. I got major writer's block with it and just had no idea what to do with it. But also, depression has been killing me and causing me to have 0% motivation towards anything.

Thank you to everyone who has been so kind to read the story and give it a review, it makes me feel great! Not sure where this story is heading, but it's definitely not ending.

Tony was still sat in his chair, absolutely shocked at what had just happened. He thought after their conversations and everything they'd fought past, that she wouldn't freak out. Tony tried to think about how he was going to handle this situation. He weighed up his options. First option; ask McGee for help. Second option; get wasted and act as if it never happened. Third and final option; find Ziva and talk to her. Tony thought about option one, but realised he couldn't keep going to McGee with his relationship issues. Also, he was looking after Abby and had been through enough commotion the past few days. The second option probably wasn't a wise move and would most likely make things worst. So, he decided to go with option number three. He had no idea what he would say or where she would even be, but he knew it was the only way to solve the problem.

Tony got up out of his chair and headed down to gym. Everyone knew she usually went there to get rid of her problems and feelings, so he got in the lift and pressed the button to go down. A few seconds later, he entered the gym to find that absolutely no one was there. He sighed, trying to think of where to head next. He decided to try and ring her phone. Maybe she would answer – it was worth a try at this point.

Ziva sat leaned against the door to her old apartment. She heard the muffled ring of her phone in her pocket, but declined straight away. She needed to think right now.

"Hey Ziva. You locked out?" One of her neighbours who she was friends with questioned as he stood outside the door of his apartment.

"Hi, Zach. No, I moved out a few days ago actually." She looked down into her lap.

"Oh god, I didn't even realise. I'm so sorry!" Zach face palmed at his unintentional ignorance.

"I didn't exactly spend much time here anyway, it's fine." Ziva chucked slightly, thinking back to how little time she spent at her apartment. She always managed to avoid it.

"What are you doing back here then? If you don't mind me asking?" Zach walked over and sat next to Ziva.

"I just needed to get away from everything, I guess." She sighed, thinking about her behaviour recently.

"Ahh, I see. I think sometimes it's just best to escape from life for a bit." Zach agreed as he leaned his head against the wall. "Sometimes things just get a bit too much and it creeps up on us."

"I'm glad somebody else understands." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, of course I do. Do you want to talk about it?" Zach tilted his head slightly so he could make eye contact with Ziva.

"Tony told me he loved me. Not long ago actually." Ziva thought back to how today had turned out.

"You guys finally got together?! Damn, I need to keep up." He laughed and winked at Ziva. "Isn't it a good thing that he loves you?"

"Yes, we've been together for a few months now. It's been...eventful." She laughed, thinking back the course of events since she'd returned.

"Then why do you seem so sad about it?" He tried to look her in the eye as she looked down into her lap.

"There's so much I'm scared of in this relationship..." Ziva covered her mouth with her hand, shocked that she'd actually just said that out loud.

"How come?" Zach asked, trying to get her to talk it out in hope it would make her see things differently.

"Where do I begin?" Ziva chuckled, but for no good reason. Zach looked her in the eye to continue, not realising she was asking it as a rhetorical question but she still carried on anyway. "When I first joined NCIS, I learnt that Tony was a player. He would always brag about how many people he'd slept with. He would never commit and it seemed like he didn't want to. But whenever I spoke about anything like that, he would always get jealous. Secretly, we both liked each other but neither of us knew of the others feelings, and lots of things prevented them from being anything more. Then there's been lots of tense moments in our relationship; the dangerous missions, the truthful talks, the near death experiences. It pulled us closer together. I feel like when I returned recently, we skipped so much of a normal relationship. We went straight into the serious part because of all the time we'd had before it. It just scares me with how fast things are going, and I don't know why." Zach looked at her for a few moments before answering.

"I see the problem you're having, and I'm here to tell you that it's not a bad problem. He may have been a player before, but doesn't it show something that he wants to be committed to you? From what you just told me, the feeling has always been there. That's probably why it's moving so fast, because you've both silently gone through the dating phase. Your relationship is a lot different to any other because of what the job's made of it. You don't need to worry, Ziva. And if you are, then talk to Tony. It's the only way this problem's going to get resolved. It's probably been killing him for a long time not being able to tell you how he feels." Ziva looked at him and Zach smiled. She'd never really thought of it like that before. Zach got up, holding out his hand for her. She grabbed his and he pulled her up.

"You're right. I should speak to him. Thank you!" She hugged Zach briefly before heading to the lift.

"You're welcome. Come round for lunch sometime!" Zach entered his apartment, leaving Ziva to think about the events of today.

It took me so long to write this chapter because I had no idea where to go with it, but I'm somewhat satisfied with it.