Struggling to be Honest
JacobxBella
Rated M
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the franchise, as it belongs to Steph Meyers
Struggling to be Honest
Chapter 2
"Bella, you don't have to drive that thing if you don't want to," Charlie said as he saw his daughter walk out to the brand spanking new car that his (unfortunately) son-in-law-to-be had bought for her. The thing was absolutely gaudy and his excuse was that he wanted her to be safe since he didn't feel comfortable with her driving the pickup. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the truck, and if you asked Charlie, the new car was a hazard; it was too damn big!
The brunette girl sighed as she got into the car and closed the door. She had already had this conversation plenty of times with her dad. Even she herself didn't like driving it because it brought on more than enough unwanted attention. But if it made Edward happy, she'd do it. Buckling up Bella cranked the car and pulled out of the driveway. Driving away she saw Charlie shake his head and run a hand down the length of his face. She knew this was hard for Charlie because he didn't like Edward, especially since he left and sent her on an emotionless whirlwind, and then return and have her suddenly accept him back into her life without so much as an argument. And now he was stressed that she would be marrying him in another two weeks. That would probably be enough to stress any parent out.
Bella drove on away from her home and closer to the Reservation. She just had to go to the Black house and see if Jacob had returned. She was beginning to get desperate and she didn't want to continue to badger poor Seth Clearwater anymore about her best friend's whereabouts. Just as she was ten minutes away from the border of the Reservation her phone began to ring. Picking it up, she saw that the caller ID said it was Alice. She started not to answer because it was possibly Edward, but something told her to go ahead and answer. Giving in she pressed the answer button and held the device to her ear.
"Hi Alice," Bella said while concentrating on the road.
"Bella! Thank goodness you answered. I was so worried!" Alice's voice rang through the earpiece. Bella frowned at what her other best friend said.
"What are you talking about, Alice? Why wouldn't I answer?
"I was looking into your future and suddenly couldn't see you anymore. I didn't tell Edward and wanted to make sure I heard from you for myself before I told him."
Hearing the pixie-like vampire say that made her think of the time when the last time she couldn't see her was after she jumped off the cliff. Alice had assumed she had been trying to kill herself and as a result, came back to Forks to see if she dead. And then she found out Edward had fled to Italy to die, thus causing her and Alice to fly there to save him. It was exactly this same scenario that caused all of her problems where Jacob was concerned. Just thinking of it made her sad and want to shed a few tears.
"Bella? Are you there?" Alice asked? Apparently Bella hadn't heard anything she had said.
"I'm sorry Alice, did you say something?" Bella asked in return.
"I said what are you doing right now? Because I can't see your future."
"I'm headed to the Reservation right now. You probably can't anything because I'm going to be with Billy and another one of the Pack maybe there."
"Again with the dog? Bella, why don't you just stop wasting your time? You wolf friend is gone and not coming back. He's just jealous because you chose Edward and love him more. Why don't you just give it a rest and focus on the wedding?"
"How can you say that, Alice? Jake is my best friend and I'm worried about him. I need to know if Billy's alright and if the Pack has heard from him. My mind won't rest until I know he's alright. And I really don't care about the wedding right now."
"Bella!"
"Look, unless you can accept that Jake is an important person in my life, don't call me anymore."
"But I can usually see your future after your visits. It disappears the day of the wedding!"
"It's probably nothing, Alice. Look, I've got to go; I've reached the Res. Bye."
And with that, Bella hung up on the vampire. What did Alice mean when she said her future disappeared the day of the wedding? Deciding not to dwell on it she drove into the Reservation and on until she reached the little red house that was the Black residence. Parking and cutting off the car, she stepped out and walked toward the porch, stumbling along the way. When she reached the porch she climbed the two steps and knocked on the door. It took a while before the door opened and Billy appeared looking weary like he hadn't had any sleep. The man smiled and backed moved out of the way to allow the young girl to step inside.
Once the older man closed the door Bella asked if he had heard anything regarding his son. Billy shook his head, a grim look on his face. Bella felt her heart sink at his silent answer as she sunk onto the couch. Still no word from Jacob, none at all. She didn't want to think of any worse case scenarios that could have happened to the Shifter. Jacob was a survivor, that much was for certain. Even so, she couldn't help but worry about where he could be and if he was even alright. Billy wheeled himself over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder saying, "I'm just as worried as you are Bella, but I think it's time that you let go officially now."
Bella looked at the wise man astounded, not sure she understood what he was saying. Or rather, not wanting to understand what he was saying. Just as she opened her mouth to ask him what he meant, there was a knock at the door before it opened and Sam Uley and Paul Lahote stepped inside. Both of the Shifters froze at the sight of the pale faced girl sitting on their chief's couch. Sam recovered quicker and said, "Hello, Bella." Bella gave a weak smile and barely lifted her hand to wave. Sam took pity on the girl. He could see it in her eyes how much she cared for his lost brother, but couldn't even be honest with herself about just how much she did. If anyone understood what she was going through it was him, but he knew she needed to figure this out on her own. Paul on the other hand, was not having any of it and immediately attacked Bella verbally.
"What the hell are you doing here? Don't you know that your presence is not wanted here and never has been? Jake is gone because of you and you sticking around to drag him along while always running off to your bloodsucker when he returns is cruel. We've all stuck our necks out on the line for your dumb ass and Jake nearly got killed because of it! You selfish bitch! You just ruin people's lives and have been killing your supposed best friend from the inside out. I can't stand the fucking sight of you; leave here now. If I ever see you around here again and you're a vampire like you chose to be, I will personally kill you myself!" Paul said without pause.
Bella stared wide-eyed at the young man as he scowled harshly at her. His words cut deeper than anything she'd ever felt. She distinctly heard Sam scolding Paul for what he said and Billy trying to comfort her, but none of it registered. She felt absolutely lost and numb in that moment. Without realizing tears were streaming down her face, she stood up and rushed out of the red house and back to her car. Getting inside she cranked the ignition and drove away as she cried. She was full on sobbing when she returned back home and saw Charlie's cruiser gone. Parking the car she rushed inside and up the stairs to her bedroom where she closed and locked the door and flung herself on her bed, face buried in her pillow.
Paul was right; she was selfish and continuously ruined the lives of not only Jacob and the Pack, but the Cullens' as well. Bella knew she'd never be able to not hurt Jacob, no matter what she did. As long as she was with Edward, nothing would change. Sitting up she looked at the charm bracelet on her wrist and stared at the two completely diverse charms, each standing for something different, though both very important to her though they clashed. In frustration she yanked the bracelet off her wrist and threw it across her room as hard as she could. She watched it hit the wall, the diamond heart breaking off from the rest of the bracelet and off somewhere else before the bracelet hit the ground, wolf charm still intact.
Wiping her tears from her face, Bella took a deep breath and looked at the engagement ring on her finger. It was still a heavy weight on her but this was her choice. This was what she wanted and it was the right choice. An eternity of love with Edward never growing old was what she wanted. At least, that was what she was trying to convince herself of, anyway. She had to forget the Reservation and Jacob for the next two weeks. She was getting married and couldn't move forward with it if she still hung on to Jacob. Billy was right; she needed to let Jacob go. But she knew even if she invested herself into this wedding finally, nothing would completely distract her from her worry over her best friend.