Struggling to be Honest

JacobxBella

Rated M

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the franchise, as it belongs to Steph Meyers

Struggling to be Honest

Chapter 7

Bella stood stock still for a few seconds before closing her bedroom door behind her so her father wouldn't hear her talking. Crossing her arms over her chest, she asked, "What are you doing here, Edward?"

"You know why I'm here, Bella," Edward said. His golden eyes roamed over her face, trying to decipher her expressions. However the only one he could get was irritation. Bella has never been irritated to see him before, so this was a bit disconcerting.

The brunette sighed and said, "Yeah, I do. And honestly Edward, it's best that you leave and never come back."

Edward's face took on an expression of hurt, causing Bella to look away from him. She didn't want to hurt him, but she needed him to understand that she finally made a choice that was best for her, a choice that she really wanted without his influence. However, she had a feeling that this would be harder for the vampire to understand. In the past and as of late the past few weeks, she had always put him first. But not anymore. She was putting her foot down when it came to Edward Cullen. He was not going to be her main concern anymore. Jacob was her concern now as far as love went, and the vampire would just have to accept that.

"Look Edward, I left you at the altar today and ran away. Actually I never made it to the altar, but the point is I ran. I ran because I knew I was making a mistake. I would have made a mistake marrying you and giving in to a life of endless youth just because I'm scared of growing old and dying. Having to watch my family and friends grow old, wither and die away without me would be too much for me to handle," Bella told him honestly as she went and sat in her rocking chair. She didn't want to sit on her bed next to Edward in the event that he dazzles her. Yes, she knew about his dazzling, but she thought that since she was in love with him, she didn't mind. But Jacob's absence had allowed her to think and she realized that with banning Edward away as well, she came to realize that Edward and the Cullen's influence on her was beyond unhealthy.

Edward scoffed at her statement and said, "You weren't so worried about that all those weeks ago when you still agreed to marry me. You said forever, Bella. Does that mean nothing to you now? You love me just like I love you. We are meant to be together and we will be together. You're just overwhelmed at the moment, but once you get over your anxiety the wedding will be back on."

Bella looked at Edward incredulously. Did he really believe that it was just her nerves that made her abandon their wedding? Glaring at him she said, "My nerves had nothing to do with it. I left the wedding because I wanted to. Because I didn't and still don't want to be married to you. Edward, I'm going to be the bluntest I have ever been with you right now, so listen closely. I do not want to be with you anymore. I want to be with Jacob. I have chosen Jacob. And nothing you can do will make me change my mind."

Edward's face suddenly turned cold before taking on a murderous look. The vampire stood and stalked over to her before leaning down over her menacingly. If Bella had never been scared of the vampire before her before, she certainly was now. Was he really going to hurt her right now with Charlie just down stairs? If he did her screaming would alert her father, forcing Edward to flee.

The vampire continued to stare at her, smelling her fear of him. This was the first time he had experienced this smell with the human girl, and he found that he didn't like it. Bella wasn't supposed to be afraid of him. She was supposed to love him, and now she was telling him she loved that wretched dog. A sparkle caught his eye near the wall of Bella's room, drawing his attention away from her. Straightening up he was surprised to see that it was the diamond heart he had placed on the hideous bracelet that Black had made for her along with that horrible piece of wood he called art on it. However, seeing it on the floor practically discarded upset him deeply. Walking over to it he bent down and picked it up and asked, "How did this happen?"

"Two weeks ago I went to the Reservation to see if Jake had returned home yet. Sam and Paul were there and Paul said some words that caused me to return home in tears. I took the bracelet off and threw it against the wall and the charm broke off," Bella answered truthfully."

"And I'm assuming that the dog's charm broke off as well?"

"No, it remained on the bracelet."

Edward scowled as he heard her words and noticed that she was currently wearing said bracelet. His diamond heart broke off of the bracelet and not the wooden wolf carving when she threw it. It was almost as if his charm breaking off was a catalyst for what was happening right now. He wouldn't believe it however, he refused to. Shaking his head with a smirk on his face, he said, "You may think that Jacob Black is right for you, but you will see soon that you made a mistake in leaving me at the altar today. Once he rejects you, you will come running back to me and I will be waiting with open arms."

He placed the diamond heart in her hand and made her close her fingers around it. He kissed the back of her hand, his cold lips causing Bella to flinch. Edward frowned a bit before saying, "I shall be waiting, my love. Until then, I'll have Alice watching out for you." And with that he was gone out of the window.

Bella didn't know what she was feeling in that moment, but she knew that the one thing she did feel was rage at Edward for thinking that she would just go back to him if Jacob rejected her. If Jacob rejected her, she would continue to keep trying until he finally accepted her. Edward would just have to get over himself and accept that she was never going back to him.

Opening her palm she looked down at the expensive piece of rock in her hand. When Edward had first placed it on her bracelet, she felt guilty for allowing him to do so on a gift Jacob had given her. It had been a heavy weight, not as heavy as the ring that was on her finger, though.

Shit! The ring! She forgot to give it back to him. She knew he was probably back at home by now, and she really didn't want to go back to the Cullen's place to face everybody. Maybe Rosalie would come and return it for her. Making a decision she reached into her pocket where she remembered she had placed her phone from earlier that morning before she had changed out of them to put on her wedding dress. Scrolling down her contact list she found Rosalie's number and dialed it, placing the phone to her ear.

"Bella, what is it? Edward just got here and he looked almost like he had accomplished something and now all he had to do is wait for it to happen," Rosalie's voice sounded through the phone after she answered.

"Hey, Rose. He was here in my room waiting for me. He was going on about how I will go running back to him after Jake rejects me. But can you come over? I forgot to give him his ring back and I don't want to go over there right now and face the rest of the family," Bella said.

"Ugh, that pompous bastard! Sure thing, I'll be over in five minutes," Rosalie said, the sound of an engine sounding off in the background.

"Okay, see you in a bit, speed demon," Bella said, listening to the blond vampire's laughter before hanging up. She blew out a puff of air before deciding to head back downstairs. She walked into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich when the house phone rang. Charlie called for her to answer, which she was going to do anyway.

"Hello?" she said into the phone.

"Hey Bella, it's me, Seth. Just to let you know, Jake and my sister are back, and she is about to go on patrol with Sam and Jared. If you want to talk to Jake, you need to come over now. He's at home watching the rest of the Mariners game with Billy," Seth said.

Bella thanked him quickly before hanging up and going to tell her dad that she was heading over to the Reservation. Once she did she grabbed the keys to her truck and left the house, only to find Rosalie waiting on the hood of her convertible.

"Headed off back to the land of the Quileute tribe again, I see. Want me to give you another ride over there?" Rosalie asked as Bella handed her the diamond heart and the engagement ring after she took it off of her finger.

The brunette declined and told her she would go on her own. She then hopped into her truck and brought the thing to life, backing out of the driveway and driving down the road towards the Reservation. The whole way she prayed to any god that would listen that Jacob would take the time to hear her out before he turned her away. And most of all, she hoped that he wouldn't turn her away to consider a relationship with Leah Clearwater.