Pairings brought up/mentioned: Gerita, minor Fruk & I guess Spamano

Warnings: None, aside from the usual shenanigans

-3.14-

"Honestly, this is just ridiculous! How are we supposed to get anything done when every five seconds- no, scratch that, two seconds, some idiot wants to stop for tea and chips! Ridiculous, I say, ridiculous!"

Francis sighs, "Arthur, do you really have to be saying all of that aloud? These idiots can hear, you know."

"Shut up, frog!" He snaps before returning to his half-muttered mantra of 'idiots, idiots, ridiculous, idiots.'

A ways behind them, I irritably follow, Feliciano slung over my shoulder, silently breathing 've~ve~ve~' into my ear. Meanwhile, Antonio and Lovino do likewise, the fox being visibly happier about carrying Italian deadweight.

"Hey, Ludwig, how much longer until you think we'll hit gold?" The Spaniard speeds up to match my pace.

I shrug, "I don't know. I mean, we're pretty far into the museum, so it really shouldn't be any longer."

"Fusosososo~ That's great!" Antonio grins, gesturing a thumb over his shoulder, "Another hour or so, and Roderich will have Gil start carrying him too!"

"I'm right here, morons!" The Austrian huffs, my brother practically dragging him along.

"Kesesesesesese~"

"Ve~ Luddy?" My extra load drowsily murmurs.

"Yes?"

"Can you lift me a little higher? I kind of want a better view."

I look at him in confusion, "What?"

Wiggling about, he tries to scooch himself further onto my shoulder, hands pulling at my shirt. "I mean, if I'm going to be up here, I at least want a good look at your butt!"

And thus, the gates of Hell are opened.

"WHAT?!"

"WE'RE IN A MUSEUM, YOU BLOODY-"

"Arthur, you're yelling too!"

"SHUT UP, FROG!"

"Kesesesesesesesesese, go get some, bruder!"

"Ve~ I just want to look at the butt!"

"BRUDER, DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!"

"Ugh, I am so done with this bullshit. Gilbert, pick me up before I pass out from exhaustion or something."

"Um, guys, I think we should stop yelling before we wake up-"

Despite Arthur being mid-tantrum, Feliciano's insistence on wanting to see my butt, and even Gilbert's complaints on having to carry Roderich around, we all simultaneously freeze at the series of mumbled groans coming from Antonio's weighted shoulder.

"God fucking dammit people, can't I just take a nap for once in my fucking life without some real testa di cazzo ruining it for me with their shouting, and their arguments, and their overall bullshit shenanigans?!"

Antonio quickly steps to the rescue, copying and pasting his usual grin before sunshining out, "Ah, good morning, Lovi! Did you have a nice nap?"

At these words, the elder Vargas brother pauses in thought.

"Antonio."

"... Yeah?"

"What are you hiding?"

Bright green eyes go wide. "Nothing!" And, with that, the Spaniard continues walking, speeding off as the rest of us watch on in stunned silence. However, even the fox spirit's quick feet can't stop what happens next.

"WAIT, IS FELI TRYING TO TOUCH THE POTATO'S BUTT?!"

"Mierda!" As Lovino begins hawking at his back, belting out not exactly pleasant-sounding Italian, Antonio picks up pace, virtually running away from the group.

"Wha- Hey! Don't just run off like that!" I exclaim, "How do we know you're not going to get lost over there?!"

"WAAAAHHHH! LOVI, STOP HITTING MEEEEEE!"

"YOU STUPID BASTARD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET THE FUCKING POTATO TOUCH MY BROTHER! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"LOOOOVVVVVIIIIII!"

Francis, surprisingly, beats Arthur to the chase, sighing in exasperation at the scene. "Wow, this family is fucked."

Roderich pants, having apparently moved to using Gilbert as a chair throughout the exchange. "You don't say?"

"Alright, I think this is it," Arthur begins, looking around at the rest of us, "You know, I'm kind of proud of you all. We actually made it to the King Romulus exhibit without killing each other!"

At this, Francis sobs dramatically, "Mon amour, how your words pain me so!"

"SHUT UP, FRENCHIE!"

"Okay, I'm done." And there goes Roderich.

"Wha- Hey! You can't leave without the awesome me!" Plus Gilbert.

"Yeah, I think you guys have the right idea here." Plus plus Antonio.

"Fuck all of you, I need my afternoon siesta." Plus plus plus Lovino.

Arthur twitches, a violent, jerking motion of mixed feelings. "And now, it's just us. As soon as we make it, everyone ditches but us. Holy mother of fuck."

"Ve~" Feliciano cheerfully exclaims from my shoulder, "We're still here! Luddy and I will help you look for clues!"

The Brit blinks at the younger Vargas. Then, he brings forth from the depths of his messenger bag a beige and dark gray deerstalker, along with an old pipe. "So… I still get to be Sherlock Holmes?"

"Yes, you still get to be Sherlock Holmes." Francis places a hand on his shoulder.

And then, his perpetually sour face slowly stretches, morphing into a wide, gleeful grin. Plopping the hat onto his head and elegantly holding the pipe, he turns to the Frenchman with an energetic shout of, "Alright, Watson. To the crime scene!"

Chuckling his amusement, Francis complacently follows behind Arthur's newly-invigorated pace as the rabbit spirit runs to and fro, absorbing as much information as possible while occasionally pretending to blow on his pipe. Deadpanned, I proceed the two as Feliciano continues to point at and comment on everything he sees.

"Ve~ Luddy, look! That's great-something-or-other-grandpa Romulus!"

I pause to inspect the painting, gazing at the middle-aged man depicted. At the Italian's insistence, I put him down once more for him to excitedly point between himself and the dead king.

"Luddy, Luddy, do you think we look anything alike?" He beams.

I can't help but to raise an eyebrow, "I suppose?"

However, Feli pouts, tugging on my arm. "Luuudddddddyyyyyy, I want details!"

"I don't know, let me see." I sigh as he walks over to stand side-by-side with the portrait. He blinks open bright amber eyes, a small smile present. "Well, you have the same eyes. That's about where the similarities end, though."

"Ve!" The pout returns, bringing crossed arms along for the ride.

"Aha! Eureka!"

"Hm?" At Arthur's satisfied clamor, we peer about curiously.

My charge and I approach where the others stand, facing a wall detailing the circumstances of Aldrich and King Romulus's first meeting. The rabbit runs about, poking at the display while whispering to himself.

"Arthur, you do realize you sound like a crazy person when you get like this, right?" Francis states tiredly.

"Shut up, I'm on a roll!" He cries, "The day Romulus and Aldrich met was November twentieth, and judging by the year, it was a full moon. Aldrich was a wolf spirit, so that could certainly inspire those silly werewolf tales, especially since the night he revealed his identity was also a full moon.

"As for my ancestor, Hazelwood used to sell charms and the like on the side to make a living and support herself. She was known for keeping shadow wolves around as pets and something akin to guard dogs. This explains why those… things could be found all over the place, back when she was alive. And then, of course, there was always- Aha! I've got it!"

The Frenchman almost seems amused, "Yes?

He turns to the rest of us, a mad look in his eyes, grin wide and wild.

"We're going to England!"

"Oh, you've got to be shitting me here!"

I cling to his arm in panic, "B- but fratello! You have to go! How else are we going to find out what's going on?"

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we don't even know why we're going there in the first place!" Lovino snaps irritably. We'd incidentally interrupted he and Toni's mid-afternoon siesta.

"Because it's the only option if we want answers!" Comes Arthur's outraged response, "Don't you want to know why this is happening now of all times?!"

He gives the rabbit one of his bitchiest faces yet, "No, not really!"

"I kind of do." Casually remarks uncle Roderich.

"Yeah, it'll be awesome! Maybe I can even tag Big Ben… Kesesesesesesesese~"

"No, Gilbert."

"Aww, but Roddy!"

"Come on, Lovi, I think it'll be fun!" Exclaims Antonio, "Oo, like a big family vacation!"

Fratello glares, "English food sucks!"

"So?" Luddy cuts in, "There's more to a country than it's food, you know."

"Oh shut up, you dumb potato! You nearly molested my brother earlier!"

I off-handedly notice his eye twitch. "In my defense, he almost molested me."

"It's true!" I beam with a giggle, "But you have to admit Luddy has a really nice butt!"

"Madonna, Feli," He groans, "Don't say that kind of shit!"

"Ve~ But fratello, he does! It's like the ass of steel or something!"

And, of course, Lovino immediately pins the blame on anyone but himself. "Dammit Francis, I knew he was spending too much time with you!"

"Wha- I didn't even say anything!" He replies, agast and melodramatic as ever.

"GUYS!" Arthur shouts, silencing the others. "We're going to England and that's final!"

"Fuck this shit I quit!"

And there goes Lovino, rage-quiting, just like he always does.

"Also, can someone please drill it into Feliciano's head that I'd rather he not make inappropriate comments about my rear?"

I giggle.

Ve~ Luddy's so cute when he actually thinks I'm going to listen to him!

A/N:

This chapter was basically the following: Feliciano, "LUDDY'S BUTT!" Ludwig, "STOP TRYING TO TOUCH MY BUTT!" Arthur, "YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND I'M GETTING KIND OF REDUNDANT!" Lovino, "DAMMIT PEOPLE, I'M TIRED!" Francis, "MELODRAMA!" Gilbert, "KESESESESE!" Roderich, "FUCK THIS SHIT I QUIT!" Antonio, "I STOPPPED PAYING ATTENTION ROUGHLY A HALF AN HOUR AGO. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AGAIN? I FORGOT!"

Also, I may or may not update over the next week or so, because I'll be busy helping my brother and his wife set up for the baby they're expecting in April. :3 Oh, by the way, it's been brought to my attention that the perspectives get kind of confusing, so allow me to give a brief explanation.

The only characters I write in first person perspective are Romulus, Aldrich, Feliciano, and Ludwig, because I want to put emphasis on them, seeing as they're basically the main characters. In the sequel, all of the first person perspectives will be of Antonio and Lovino, because I'll want to focus on them. If the perspective isn't any of those four's, then it's third person omniscient. Also, when it's first person, I only write the thoughts of the person whose perspective it is. Here's a key of how you can tell which character it's the perspective of:

Feliciano: Feliciano's inner narration is the only one that calls Ludwig 'Luddy,' Francis 'cousin Francis,' Roderich 'uncle Roddy,' Lovino 'fratello,' and Antonio 'Toni.' However, the Antonio bit isn't as accurate, because there are other characters that refer to him with that nickname on occasion. Also, he tends to be more observant yet clueless in his narration of the events, and often times goes on a mental tangent, like he did at the beginning of part 2 in the vineyards, when he freaked out about mafia ghosts or something.

Ludwig: Ludwig's inner narration always refers to people by their full, proper names as opposed to nicknames, but will occasionally call Feliciano 'Feli,' mainly when it's just the two of them, as opposed to the two of them with everyone else and their best friend's mom. He's very blunt, direct, and factual about the way he perceives things.

Romulus: Romulus's inner narration will sometimes refer to people with nicknames, but not often. He'll sometimes call Athena ''Thena,' or refer to Aldrich with a pet name like 'wolfy,' but that's about it. He tends to be very egotistical and will openly compliment himself in his narration, as well as being easily distracted by his train of thought. Like Francis, he's kind of melodramatic about things. His perception is often-times biased and overly emotional.

Aldrich: Aldrich's inner narration is much like Ludwig's, but he never calls anyone a nickname or pet name. He always uses their actual names without fail, because he doesn't understand why humans would give their young a name, only to call them by something else later. What's the point in naming your kid if the name's too long or something, am I right? He, like Romulus, tends to be a little on the dramatic side, but his melodrama is usually because of his very basic understanding of humans and how they act. Remember, he was the first recorded spirit to mess around with human affairs, and he still doesn't understand them all too much. He also takes every opportunity possible to half-heartedly insult Romulus.

So yeah, I hope that helps! If not, just pay attention to which characters are mentioned in the narration and try process of elimination.

Responses to review(s):

pieluvr: Thank you so much! Seeing as this is my first serious Hetalia fanfic, I'm really glad people think I'm doing the characters justice. Gah, I'm so sorry it's a little confusing; I hope the explanation I gave in the A/N is helpful! Oh, no, you're not a bother at all. I just don't want to use 'POV: Insert Name,' because I feel like it's better to let the reader's figure out whose perspective it is from context clues and more practical writing devices, you know? Anyways, I hope my explanation made things a little easier for you!

maryranstadler1: Thank you! Hah, yeah, I just really wanted to incorporate two things in that chapter: A.) Child!Lovino shenanigans, and B.) Gilbert being told to his face that it's nearly impossible for him to have ever been a badass pirate king. Geez, you guys are so nice to me that I think I might explode from the sugar!

Seele Esser Deutsch: Yeah, I totally agree. The thing is, I just really wanted this fanfic to be more light-hearted, and, I don't know, feel a little more like the actual series than others. The thing is, some of the other fanfics turn Hetalia into this dark and gritty craziness, which I can definitely enjoy and appreciate, especially since it's really hard to do that. However, the characters of Hetalia are based off of countries, and countries can always find dumb reasons to argue, meaning the characters themselves can always find dumb reasons to argue. Therefore, it's simply easier to write them arguing all the time, hah.

APDubtalia: In all seriousness, you just hit the nail right on the head. When I wrote that chapter, I was legitimately imagining Lovino trying to make breakfast for him and Antonio, using tomatoes because they're the two's favorite fruit. Yeah... roughly 80% of each chapter is just argument-infested filler, to be perfectly honest here... heheh, they are so ridiculously dysfunctional...

Anyways, I'll see you later!