Hey! Welcome back.
Well, I got one review, and I refuse to answer it. The other one, for whatever reason, is not showing up. Fuck me.
Here it is, in its entirety.
Woab gud jorb strongbed i rat 42haburegrers/12 haburegrers. gresy.
So.
Thanks to my wonderful followers.
The questions will stay the same.
Let's dive in.
The next day was the final day of actual practice. They said three days, but Ludo forgot he had a dentist's appointment on the third day, so that would be an off day.
Today was spent just talking about strategy, and how to battle someone.
"You see Star, in Mewni, you take turns in battle. I really don't know how to describe it." Ludo started.
Marco butted in. "It's like an RPG, Earthbound or Undertale." He seemed to cringe at the last word.
"Ohhhh, I get it." Star said.
"Yes, and if you disobey those orders, it's a war crime." Toffee said.
"Once again, we'll split into groups. Marco with Toffee, Star with me, and at the end we will have both of you work together. Capische?" Ludo ordered.
"Alright." Both Star and Marco said in unison.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"The plan is to read. If he starts out strong, you go out strong. If he goes out soft, go out a bit soft, but a little bit harder than him at the same time. Alright?" Toffee started with Marco.
"Mmmhmm."
"However, the big problem is not his fists. Not sure if we told you yesterday, and if we did, we shouldn't've, because you don't know that he is equipped with guns." Toffee said.
"Yes, I do know, a war without guns is like a book without words." Marco said.
"Oh, no, you don't know. He has guns 10 times as capable of killing than they do on Earth. A shot in the toe-"
"Hey!"
"Could be fatal, Diaz. So we need to figure a way for you to avoid bullets."
"And that is-?"
"I know how to pull strings."
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"Now, I've had experience with these sorts of armies. Guns and all that. But they're easy, and if you're wand, they're even easier. For some odd reason, the guns that they are using in Mewni have a self-destruct button, which is what happened in a war I raged in Exitium, which I won in 7 hours. It's called The Seven Hours War." Ludo said.
Glossaryck started teaching as well.
"If you use the Jelly Bean Hallucination spell first, you should be able to easily distract him and press the button. Then, it's down to hand to wand, which you have the advantage." He finished.
Star was still writing what Ludo had finished saying.
"Say that again, and slower?"
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"Now this "Tom" guy is a real hothead. Literally. He is the prince of the underworld, and he is easily angered. Always go soft, because I know him, he doesn't go for the punch until he gets really angry. So beat him slowly." Toffee finished.
"If he's literally 'hot' how do you plan for me to hit him and not get at least 2nd degree burns?" Marco asked.
"I know how to pull strings."
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"Tom is a toughie, for the most part. The spell you need to use on him is the Rainbow Punch. You probably won't be assigned him anyways, so if you run into him, put him out effectively." Glossaryck said.
"Also aim for his nethers, if you are getting what I'm saying. Then get him with the punch, and be quick, because he'll get mad real quick." Ludo added.
"Got it."
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"Now, you two, I'm going to run down what happens." Ludo started.
"For the most part, it is 3 on 2. Me and Toffee will aid you, tell what to do in battle, but only battle if times are desperate. Buff Frog will be the brute force leading the way, while Star and Marco will lead separate fights of their own. Rebeldes will not be our main point of attack yet. He is secondary. Marco will face Tom, and Star and Buff Frog will take on the 'crowd'". Ludo said.
Marco raised his hand.
"Marco?"
"Yes, what is this 'crowd'?"
"Oh, yes, that's about 10,000 Mewnians."
"And you're telling us this now?" Marco asked.
"Marco, be quiet, he knows what he's doing!" Star said.
"Well, it's a good question!"
"No, it's not!"
Buff Frog grabbed them both by their arms.
"Be quiet. Both of you."
"Yes sir." They both said.
"I have my plans, Marco. I have my plans.
"Now! The both of you! You may of thought Buff Frog was here just to be here-"
"Yeah, he just stood there without purpose, really." Marco interrupted.
Star hit him, a universal be quiet. Marco didn't listen.
"Why do you always hit me?" Marco complained.
"Be quiet, Diaz." Buff Frog said to Marco.
"Yes sir."
"Now, he is the strength and conditioning of this war. You're in for a goodie."
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"Alright! You will run cross city, all roads, in less than 3 hours. If not, you will restart." Buff Frog said.
"Oh fuck me." Star and Marco said in unison, second time this chapter.
"Begin!"
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
About two hours and fifty-nine minutes later, they finished.
"You got in by narrow 34 seconds. Amateurs." Buff Frog said.
To say they were beat to shit was the understatement of the century. They couldn't even speak legibly.
"So hoew did you felkl yiy duds?" Marco asked.
"I think I did well cosionderging." She replied.
"Conidersigng what?" Marco asked back.
"I havent;t rab cionmpetivivleyu in 15 yeatfrs." Star replied.
"We sahould givbe up on understainding eachotehr." Marco finished.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
One day later, they were still recovering.
However, today was supposed to be important.
Star and Marco were bringing their respective partners to dinner with the family, sort of like a middle school double date where the parent looked over at his/her daughter and make sure the boy didn't try anything.
I'll save any boring details and get to the juicy stuff.
Because shit hits the fan.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
It was 6:37, the time the Diaz's always had dinner.
Jackie was there at 5:00, to have some "not kissing" time with Marco.
Richard was there at 6:36, citing bad knees.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Dinner wasn't any better.
Both of Marco's parents knew Jackie was a good person, yes. However, they also knew that Richard was a bad person, so they would spend most of their time trying to protect Star from him.
It started off light.
"So Star, how was your training?" Angie asked.
"Good, I think I finally got control of how the wand works. Expect puppies in the next day or so." Star said.
"Well, that's less on the family budget."
Silence.
"So, nothing about my training, mom? I see where I stand." He said sarcastically.
"You're going through training?" Angie said, a bit concerned.
Marco nodded his head.
"Talk to me after dinner."
"I would like to know what we are talking about here." Both Richard and Jackie would ask, though Richard's answer was less sophisticated.
"Oh- yeah-," Marco smiled, nodding towards Star, "Star is a magical princess from another dimension." Marco laughed, expecting a response.
Jackie chuckled lightly, Richard seemed confused.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"So," Angie asked to Jackie and Marco, "how did you two decide to date."
Jackie took control.
"Well, I really didn't see much of him before. But one day, two weeks ago, he came in railing off about his stories with Star, which were quite hilarious. I was surprised by the fact he was able not to criticize her, but still make jokes about living with her. So, in blunt terms, he's a good comedian." Jackie said.
If thoughts could squint their eyes, Angie's did.
That's another fake love. I give it 7-9 more days.
Rafael took the other end.
"So, you other two, how did you two decide to date?" He asked.
Star was about to answer, but Richard answered for her.
"She's cute."
"Cierra la boca sucia que tragona." Rafael thought to himself.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
The night was smooth for Jackie and Marco.
For Star and Richard, it was quite the opposite.
Star made it clear, no PDA, but he kept reaching and reaching, petting the hair, the usual.
And she said to eat the food, Rafael Diaz took pride in his food, and yet this asshat wasn't even eating the food.
It was near the final straw.
Rafael was red as a beet with anger. This food was the best he had in 3 months. C'mon man, take a bite.
There was no talking. Just eating. This Richard guy was uncomfortable. So, he jumped on the bandwagon and ate.
Sadly, he said the first thing that came to mind.
"Man, this tastes like shit!" He said.
"That's it! You little engendro del infierno, get the mierda out of my house before I kick your culo from here to Mexico City!" He yelled, kicking him out. By the way, I wouldn't translate that if I were you.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Star was in tears.
The first boyfriend she had had since her parents were attacked- incompetent, dumb.
She didn't know either to blame Richard or herself.
And Marco was her only male friend, and one, he was taken, and two, she wasn't interested! Well, not just yet, but she wasn't interested!
At least she had her friends.
Oh, and that war to fight.
This was going to be a great week.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
"Now, I said I was going to talk about that 'war' after dinner. You have a week." Angie started.
"Mom, you are giving me a restriction to fight in a war. That's the most mom you can do." Marco argued back.
"Are you sure, because I can say you can't go, and I hear Star need all the help she can get." Angie argued back.
Marco had horrible images of a dead, beaten Star flash through his mind.
"Yes ma'am."
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Metal bullshit, like always.
River and Moon were starving, breaking, and just poor.
In came Rebeldes.
He sighed first of all, leaning on the bars.
"I've been thinking-" He started, to be immediately to be interrupted.
"Well, that's a first." River fired.
"I've been thinking about ending your miserable lives, getting you out of my way, and making your daughter suffer whilst you burn in hell." Rebeldes finished, holding his gun.
River laughed.
"Hah, you don't mean any of your words. You don't have any balls, 'big boy'." River said.
"You watch, you fucking geezer. You watch."
He walked away into the dark.
Time Skip Quote:if it's true that our species in alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Well, same thing holds as last time, points for Simon Pegg, the quote.
Thanks for reading, plz review.
Five more chapters.
YEET