Doug knew he wouldn't find a phone easily, so sneaked back into his own house where Ask That Guy With The Glasses was holding an orgy.
"Oh, that is disgusting!" he quietly muttered in disbelief. I refuse to describe what he saw.
But fortunately for him, everyone's clothes were all over the floor, allowing Doug to snatch them and change in the bathroom. He emerged in the Nostalgia Critic costume.
"Hey, NC, mind if I take your place in the real world?!" he sarcastically muttered to no one in particular and left the bathroom, running into Chester.
"Oh for god's sakes, will you get outta here?!" he yelled. Chester A. Bum just said a shocked "Um, sorry." and sodded off.
As the Critic, no one blinked an eye as he took his own phone and went outside and dialled James's number.
"Hello, James?"
"Doug? What is it? Something wrong?"
"You might say that. But before I get into that, I wanna know... what is Board James doing in my house?"
"Uh, what?"
Doug then realized... "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"No, not really."
"Well, I could really use your help. You're the only one who'll understand, the only one who'll..."
Lewis walked up to Doug.
"The only one who knows what a reviewer really can cause, the only one who..."
He was holding up the decapitated head of Mechakara.
"The only one who realizes what world-hopping truly means..."
Lewis interrupted Doug. "Hey, Doug?"
"Shut up, I'm talking to the Nerd." Suddenly he realised who it was.
"Lewis?"
"Hi." Lewis said enthusiastically.
Doug just stared at him.
"You okay?"
"You were there when I was thrown into the basement." Doug accused.
"Mh-mh. I didn't think you'd get out."
"And what's with the robot head?"
Lewis held up the dead Mechakara head. "Oh this? Well, turns out that when the Critic supposedly erased his universe, it caused another plot hole that sent all our characters over to the real world."
"Oh god no! You don't think...?"
Lewis nodded seriously. "I'm afraid so..."
Gunfire banged at their feet, leading the two to duck behind a fence as predictably, Angry Joe was on a murder spree.
"Okay..." Doug said. "This is seriously freaking me out."
"YA THINK?! This makes the Holy Terror look like... well, this is still pretty damn freaky!"
Angry Joe spotted the two of them.
"Aw crap." Lewis said.
"HASTA LA CROSSOVER, BABIES!" he shouted and fired his automatic weapons.
Suddenly, I showed up in my own story. Everyone paused and turned to look at me.
Awkward pause.
I step to the right. Again. And again. And again, hoping to avoid a bloodbath.
"Okay." I say. "This is not funny anymore. How the heck do I get outta here?!"
And then it dawned on me... I'm going to have end the story.