There is not enough alcohol in the world that will make me feel better, I thought fuzzily. I was five bottles in but I could still feel. Every emotion hurt. Like the channels in my heart had been scraped raw by the horrors in my mind.
As if Mountain Glenn hadn't been bad enough. As if all of the pain and suffering in our lives hadn't been enough.
I wasn't sure where I was but I was fairly certain I wasn't supposed to be dead drunk there. I managed to roll to my back and found myself looking at the stars. The stone of the ground was cold against my back and fall chill nipped at my nose.
"Where'd that bottle go…" I asked to no one, reaching for my sixth bottle. I had some trouble getting the top off but using my teeth I managed to uncork it. I dumped the liquor down my throat and it burned all the way down. It was nasty stuff but it was the best thing I had found to get me trashed.
I was in a small stone courtyard, somewhere to the west of my building, close to the infirmary. I had my hands full with Coco and Yatsuhashi so beaten up from their fight with Emerald and Mercury and of course… Mama Thayet…
"No, no, no. I'm drinking to forget, dammit. Forget." I mumbled, taking another swig. Even my alcohol tolerance wasn't tolerating this much. I felt woozy and sick. Yet, nothing else had worked to get all the memories out of my mind.
They still had the Thayet's mother in the rehabilitation tank. She was stable as long as she was asleep. The specialists from Atlas that Ironwood sent to 'help me' just kept asking when I thought she could be woken up. Already, Peyton had to physically restrain me after one particularly annoying specialist had pushed me too far and I had tried to gut him.
Oops.
Couldn't they understand? If she was woken up, I'd have to handle everything. I'd have to make her heart beat, make her lungs move, make her eyes blink and her brain function. Every little thing that comes with being alive, I would have to do for her. If I slipped up once, she'd die. I had confidence that I could do it but Gods, the strain on me! I wouldn't be able to leave her side.
My Scroll vibrated but I ignored it. It wasn't any of my team. I had already forced them to sleep and they wouldn't wake up thanks to a special sleeping brew I had concocted the night we had returned.
My world spun as I laid back down, my sixth bottle still in my shaking hand.
Why did this have to happen now?
Why did Ironwood and Winter have to be so damned helpful? Once one got through her very thick cold exterior, Winter was actually a good person. A kind person. It made me want to hit her a few times. I wish I could've hate her, and Ironwood and Qrow and Goodwitch, even Oz. I was so irrationally angry, I wanted to hate everyone.
But I couldn't. That wasn't who I was anymore. I was Mommy Quicksilver and I had to be kind and gentle.
I couldn't be Faceless here.
The image of my mask had me scrambling for the bushes. I threw up all the liquid in my stomach because of course, I hadn't had time to eat anything before I decided to drink myself stupid.
I held onto the stone bench next to me like a lifeline, as I spewed all the liquor in my stomach out into the dying rosebushes. The more I threw up, the dizzier I got.
My hair was gently pulled away from my face and held back while another hand held my shoulder, keeping me from slipping to the ground and landing in my own vomit.
"C'mon now, pup. I know your tolerance and one measly bottle shouldn't make you this gone. Or if it has, I want some of it cause it's better than what I have." A gruff voice said somewhere next to me.
I tried to answer but my stomach had other plans.
I spent the next several minutes throwing up while Qrow murmured soothingly and held me up. When I was done he leaned me against a marble pillar and sat down next to me. "This is not my first bottle, bastard." I said groggily, motioning to the bottles that laid off to the side of the bench. His red eyes widened and looked at me. "Sixth." I murmured and tipped the bottle back. "Whoa there. I know you're having a rough time but six bottles?" I shrugged, finally becoming numb to the pain that had surrounded me the past couple of days.
He sighed, draped an arm over my shoulders and took my bottle. I protested weakly, falling against his side but he took a deep swig and coughed a little. "Jeez, pup, that stuff will melt your teeth."
I bared my teeth at him. "Still got em." He was warm, so I sagged deeper against his side. He took another drink and set the bottle aside. "You aren't looking good, girl." I shrugged again. "I'll try to look better next time I drink m'self stupid." He snorted and looked down at me. I wondered what he saw.
"That's not what I meant, Dahlia. You look fine for having downed five and a half bottles of this stuff. I'm talking about you. You don't look like you're doing well after what happened." To my shame, tears started rolling down my cheeks. "I know." I said in a shaky voice.
"Oh jeez, pup. I didn't mean to make your cry." He said, concerned. I started to shake uncontrollably. It was okay. Qrow had seen me much worse than this before.
"Like I'd ever cry in front of you, bastard." I had, several times in fact, but this was the response he expected. He chuckled darkly, hugging me closer to try and stop my trembling. "They're here, Qrow. Someone tried to kill me. And someone left the Faceless mask on my pillow. They're here." He shushed me and rubbed my back in soothing circles. "I know, pup. I know." The tears wouldn't stop. "I've tried to find them. I've tried to fix this before it got bad but everytime I get close, something falls apart again. They want me back. They're trying to turn me back." I sobbed, growing so dizzy with my fear.
"Sorry, pup, but they can't have you." I managed to focus on him as he said that. "They can't?" He shook his head. "We already claimed you. You're a hero. Everyone here respects and cares for you. They can't have you back. You're ours now." Qrow knew more about me than anyone. Even Oz. Qrow, for all his drunken recklessness, was the one who had saved me. He had helped me fake my own death and had helped me begin a new life. He had encouraged me to become a Huntress and had taken measures to make sure I was accepted here.
"I trust you, Qrow. You know that, right?" Maybe he sighed but I couldn't tell. "Never heard that one before. But thanks, pup. I just… I hope what we are doing here will make it so you don't have to keep picking up the pieces."
What are you doing here? I thought to myself. I was beginning to sober up way too quickly. I wanted the bottle back but I knew that it wouldn't help. My Quick-Heal was metabolizing the alcohol like it would any poison. Soon, I'd be sober and I'd have to head back to the infirmary.
"He'll never let me go, you know? As long as I'm alive, Omar will hunt me. His army… is unimaginable, Qrow. He'll always want Faceless back."
I had to say Faceless like it was a different person. Like that name… didn't belong to me. "As long as he wants Faceless, everyone I know will be in danger."
Qrow carefully put his head on mine and wrapped his other arm around me. "Faceless is dead, Dahlia. He can't hunt someone who is dead."
I shuddered, the pain that the alcohol had numbed returned in force. "No. Faceless isn't dead. Faceless is alive and waiting… in here." My hand balled up in my chest. "Waiting for me to snap and put the mask back on. Once I do that… I'll be lost. Dahlia will die… but at least everyone she knew would be safe."
Qrow's feelings began to clear up as my Semblance was unblocked by the alcohol. It made me cry some more. He cared. He was afraid for me, for his nieces, for his friends and he was afraid for me. But he was also scared of me, scared of Faceless who still lurked inside of me.
"It's not worth it, pup. Putting on that mask will not save your friends. I think that you can. Just by being yourself. There is more to you than just a killer. It took a while but I found an incredible woman underneath the assassin and I'm not willing to give her up so easily."
I could hear his powerful heart beating in my ear and it was soothing. "Please… don't give up on me, bastard. Anyone but you." I whispered. I was still shaking but it was beginning to subside. As long as Qrow believed in me, I could do it. I had become a Huntress just like he had said. I had saved lives. All those Faunus in the Tunnels would have died had my team and I not gone back for them. Faceless would have abandoned them without a second thought. Dahlia had saved them.
"I'm stubborn enough for the both of us, pup. I won't give up on you. You can do anything you desire if you want to. You wanted a new life and I've seen what you've built. Everyone loves you. You've found your pack. Now fight for us, Dahlia." I nodded, his shirt soft beneath my cheek. "How's Raven?" I asked.
He chuckled. "The same. Still has that scar you gave her." I snorted, making me dizzy again. "She earned it." My tears dried up and I finally stopped shaking. The pain was still there but I had lanced it like a boil and drained it. It wouldn't heal yet. For that, I needed to save Mama Thayet. But Qrow said I could do anything. So I would save her. My Semblance was strong. It had never let me down. I would save her, no matter what.
"Can you get me to the infirmary?" I asked. He looked at me worried. "You feel that bad?" I chuckled and wiped my cheeks off. "No, bastard. I've got work to do." Lives to save.
"Alright, pup. Only if you promise to go to sleep soon." I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up. Orchid was still at the infirmary, next to Mama Thayet's rehabilitation tank. "You're very kind, Qrow. Very noble." He snorted. "You must be drunker than I thought." He left the courtyard and walked slowly back to the infirmary, lulling me with his movement. "Deny it all you want, bastard. Pretend you're nothing more than a drunken rapscallion. I know better." He adjusted his grip on me, making me a little more comfortable. "Yeah, yeah. Just don't tell anyone, eh? I've got a reputation to uphold."
I chuckled dryly. For the first time in a while, I didn't feel so broken. I didn't think of my past, or Mountain Glenn or Vasilius. I thought of the future, which was mutable and changeable. The past was set in stone but my future was mine to control. Would I be Faceless… or would I be Dahlia?
I wondered who could save this wretch world. The deadliest assassin Remnant had ever known or a Faunus girl who was so small in the scheme of things.
Qrow carried me into the infirmary and set me down in my rolling chair.
Maybe I was small in the larger scheme but to the people in this room, I was like a messiah.
"So this her?" Qrow said quietly, staring at Elisa Thayet in her tank.
"Yep. That's the last survivor of the Vasilius Massacre. The twin's mother." I rolled to Yatsuhashi and Coco and began to Heal them. I would heal everyone in the building and by morning I would turn all my attentions to Mama Thayet.
My hands splayed out to the two second year students and I felt their wounds vanish. I was still a little fuzzy from drinking but it somehow made everything easier. Pain in my soul was consumed in my determined resolve. I would fix this. Once I Healed Mama Thayet, I would hunt down Cinder and her comrades. I would finish my schooling, I would hunt down the Family as they hunted me. I would find Omar in his lair and kill him. I would find his assocaites and destroy them and clean Remnant of their filth. I would once and for all, kill Faceless. One step at a time.
First I would save Mama Thayet. I would give her back to the twins and bully Ironwood into giving her legs. It would all start now.
I turned and looked at Qrow, who was staring at me as I worked.
"The future is mine to make. My destiny is mine to control. And it all starts tonight, bastard." I smiled and I felt a strange emotion in Qrow, quickly covered up.
I rolled down the row to the next patient. "Everything starts now."