Summary: Nurse Training School - The London Hospital
Disclaimer: Call The Midwife belongs to the BBC and others - I am simply borrowing their wonderful characters.
Author's Notes: As always, massive thanks to Sittingonthis for the sense check and to Jlynsca for her editing skills.
I've had real difficulties uploading anything onto FanFic unfortunately. I've had to upload this paragraph by paragraph - and this is is a long update!
Enjoy
Patsy hurried back from the garden to the Ward and arrived just in time to receive a patient from Recovery. Without being asked, she returned him to his bed and conducted all the necessary checks. That included receiving a thorough handover so she understood his requirements. With an almost unconscious efficiency, the blonde student nurse completed the patient notes. She then made the young man comfortable before reporting back to the nurse in charge of her area.
Senior Staff Nurse Cooper raised her eyebrows in pleasant surprise. "It seems you're right at home here Nurse Mount," she commented, a wry grin on her lips.
Patsy's eyes widened slightly, taking the comment as a mild rebuke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep my place," she apologised instantly.
Nurse Cooper shook her head. "That wasn't what I meant at all. I just wanted to thank you. I can't remember one of our students ever being quite so efficient."
Patsy nodded acceptance at the compliment. "Thank you. But to be honest, it's rather a relief to be working in a structured, orderly fashion."
Nurse Cooper frowned slightly. "Where were you before?" She enquired.
Patsy grimaced slightly. "Psychiatry," she replied. "And before that, it was Intensive Care."
Nurse Cooper's eyebrows rose again. Patsy decided that the nurse had one of the most expressive faces she had ever encountered.
"You certainly drew the short straw. Having three difficult placements in a row."
"Three?" Patsy queried.
"Male Surgical holds its own challenges, Nurse Mount." Nurse Cooper's lip curled slightly in disgust. "After all, we have to deal with the most arrogant breed of doctor in the hospital."
Patsy nodded in understanding. "Surgeons do seem to think they are all knowing and all powerful."
Lucy huffed. "I don't mind them thinking that." She grinned at Patsy. "I just resent them telling me every time they see me."
Patsy grinned back. "I must be extremely fortunate. I haven't had that particular pleasure yet," she confided.
"Oh, give it time. They can't help themselves." Lucy smiled again. "Let me know how you feel about working here once you've had to deal with them in full flow."
Patsy shrugged. "Of course. But I think I can handle a pompous man," she confided.
Nurse Cooper nodded. "I don't doubt that for a moment. You do really seem to have a presence here. It's been quite amusing seeing the patients behave in such an orderly fashion."
"Let's just hope they don't get used to it, or my strategy will become somewhat redundant," Patsy mused. "Now, what's next?"
Nurse Cooper looked at the Surgery List and groaned softly. "We've got three more patients scheduled back from Recovery all around the same time."
"Sounds like we need to formulate a battle plan," Patsy decided confidently. Her eyes widened fractionally as she realised that she might have stepped over the mark but smiled with relief when she saw Nurse Cooper nod enthusiastically.
"Given how efficient you've been so far, I was hoping you'd be up for that. Come on. Let's sit down and go through this together."
"Are you sure?" Patsy hedged. The last thing she wanted to do was be considered a know-it-all who didn't know her place. Every ward always had a pecking order. It was vital to navigate it carefully if one wanted to make any sort of progress.
Lucy looked at her incredulously. "Nurse Mount, you have an aptitude for organisation and planning. I am not going to ignore that, simply because you're a student. I'm all for making my life easier."
Patsy smiled openly, relaxing as she sat down with Nurse Cooper to discuss the rest of the shift.
Male Surgical was the first placement in a long time where Patsy felt comfortable. It was a busy ward with patients whisked off for planned surgery, along with emergency patients having to be accommodated with little notice. Patsy approached the placement systematically and her demeanour and attitude seemed to fit in perfectly with the Ward's character.
More importantly, Patsy could put up her protective barriers and happily hide behind her brusque manner. The work was challenging both mentally and physically, but the environment was one where Patsy was confident she could thrive and grow as a nurse. Her cool efficiency was clearly welcomed by the established staff which also took the pressure off. Within a few days, she felt like part of the team.
Psychiatrics had thrown Patsy off her equilibrium. She had found a way to cope but she had considered it a test of endurance and resilience. As Patsy worked with Lucy, she realised that Male Surgical would be a good choice for her to work once she qualified. And despite her humorous tone with Nurse Cooper, Patsy was genuinely convinced that she could deal with arrogant surgeons. One simply needed to prick their egos every now and again and it would be fine.
Patsy was quite surprised when the relief shift came on duty. She had been completely absorbed with the implementation of the plan she had devised with Nurse Cooper. It had worked beautifully, and Patsy had overheard Nurse Cooper tell Matron how much she valued Patsy's assistance in its construction. Patsy felt rather embarrassed by the thoughtful scrutiny Matron gave her, but Patsy continued with the handover efficiently and clearly.
As soon as she was dismissed, Patsy hurried to grab her things and head back to the Nurses Home. Although she had thoroughly enjoyed her shift today, Delia had not been far from her thoughts, even at her busiest moments. Patsy hadn't spent much time with her in the last few days and she was determined to make up for that.
After swiftly changing into slacks and a blouse, Patsy headed to Delia's room. She entered almost simultaneously as she tapped a perfunctory knock on the door, as was now both their habit. The tall nurse frowned when she saw Delia turn over from where she had been lying on her bed. Patsy saw a haunted look on the brunette's features that was suddenly masked by a face of neutrality. She cocked her head to one side, even as Delia sat up, forcing a smile as she did. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." The response was immediate, and Delia cursed herself for just how weak her voice sounded. And how unconvincing.
Patsy raised an eyebrow. "Tell me Deels, when I deflect or downright avoid something I don't want to speak about, is it as obvious as that?"
Delia winced. "For me, yes," she admitted. "Actually, if I'm brutally honest, I think most people know when you don't want to talk about something," she continued.
Patsy pulled a face. She probably deserved that. "And yet somehow, you always provide me a sanctuary so that I can talk. No matter if it's me just letting off steam, or I'm trying to find some meaning to my reactions."
She sat down next to the Welsh woman and reached over to take one of Delia's hands in her own. "You are so very much better at this than I am." She huffed self-deprecatingly. "And definitely much more experienced. But if I can help you, just by listening, or even just sitting here... whatever you need. I'll do it. You deserve that sanctuary too, Deels."
Delia leaned into Patsy as her breath caught and she tried desperately to control her emotions. "I'm just being stupid, Pats. There's really nothing I can do."
Patsy adjusted slightly and hooked one arm around Delia. She held her tightly, rubbing her upper arm in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "Whatever it is that's bothering you this much, it's not stupid. If you can't talk about it, I completely understand. And I certainly won't try and make you talk about it." She gave a half smile she heard Delia snort at the remark. "We don't have to go out tonight if you'd rather stay in," she offered.
Delia shook her head, even as she buried herself further into Patsy's embrace. "No. I want to go. I really do need to get away from my thoughts. I've been doing nothing but thinking about the situation since I got home."
"We've got a little time now, if you want to get it off your chest?" Patsy suggested gently, hoping she wasn't being too obvious in her desire to help.
Delia smiled even as she shook her head. "Not right now. As long as you don't mind me being a little quieter than normal, perhaps we can catch the earlier showing and have a late supper? I might feel up to talking after I've been distracted for a while."
Patsy shifted slightly and kissed the top of Delia's head lovingly. "Whatever you want to do, we'll do."
They sat on the bed for a few moments longer, neither woman eager to break their embrace. Eventually, Delia caught sight of the time on the bedside clock and reluctantly sat up slightly. "Come on. If I remember correctly, you promised you'd buy me a quarter of bullseyes."
Patsy widened her eyes in mock indignation. "I did not," she objected, quickly returning the grin that had formed on Delia's lips. "But as it's you, I'll see what I can do," she conceded indulgently.
Patsy sighed as she watched Delia staring morosely at the food that sat untouched in front of her. "Are you sure you'd rather not just go back?" She offered courteously.
Delia looked up suddenly, and winced, realising that Patsy could easily read her distraction. "I'm sorry. I'm awful company. But I don't want to go back yet." She looked back down at her plate. "I don't really want to be on my own," she admitted softly.
"You won't be," Patsy whispered back assuredly. She wanted to reach over and offer Delia some comfort by holding her hand, but that was far too risky to do in public.
Delia nodded and swallowed nervously. She had been putting off explaining what had happened on the ward all day, and Patsy had displayed seemingly limitless patience with her. Knowing how it felt to be on the other side of reticence, the Welsh nurse steadied herself. She then explained everything to Patsy as she pushed her dinner around her plate. It took a lot of false starts, but Delia forced herself to recall all the details, and tell Patsy what was waiting for her in the morning.
She was grateful that Patsy silently sat and let her talk uninterrupted. Patsy patiently waited as Delia struggled to find the right words to describe her thoughts on Angela's proposed treatment. Concentrating on the detail and processes made it simpler to tell the other nurse what was going on. She finally looked up when she finished speaking, not knowing what sort of look Patsy would have on her face. Delia breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Patsy simply give a lop-sided smile that was full of empathy and understanding. "I'm not over-reacting?" She asked tentatively.
Patsy shook her head firmly. "You can't help your feelings Delia. It's important to recognise them. It helps you deal with them in the long run."
Delia shot the blonde woman a wry smile. "Wise words, coming from you," she teased gently.
Patsy shrugged. "It is far easier to provide advice on how to deal with things, than actually undertake that advice myself. One's own troubles always seem far more difficult to define." She looked at Delia ruefully. "And infinitely more difficult to deal with than other people's problems," she admitted.
"What do I do? I don't want to have anything to do with the procedure. It's barbaric. But if I kick up a stink, it might jeopardise my career." Delia couldn't think of a way out of her predicament.
"Shall we consider the options?" Patsy suggested calmly.
"I'm not sure there are any," Delia demurred, but she nodded and waited for Patsy to speak again.
"Alright. So Dr. Fairfax has decided that surgery is necessary. Have all the other treatments been tried? What has been done before?" Patsy asked.
"Surely you're not suggesting that it's the right thing to do? After how you reacted to the *treatment* of homosexuals?" Delia was astonished.
Patsy shook her head firmly. "Male homosexuality is illegal. Men are forced to have treatment because of a point of law, not because they are unwell. This is different. Angela is diagnosed as a manic depressive."
Delia nodded but wasn't sure that the two situations were all that different.
"You've struck up a relationship with her, but that's only recently. How was she treated in the past? How long have they been trying to treat her?" Patsy continued.
Delia shrugged. "I don't know. A while I think. Dr. Fairfax said she has been in and out for years."
Patsy paused for a few seconds before continuing. "Is it possible that Dr. Fairfax thinks that there isn't any other alternative?"
Delia shook her head. "She spoke with me. She responded. She told me..." Delia trailed off as she recalled Angela's words before looking at Patsy again. "She told me I treated her like a human being."
Patsy felt her heart clench. Delia's empathy was such an important trait for a nurse, and it was one that Patsy envied. Sometimes it came at a price. "But she lashed out at you today?" She pointed out objectively.
Delia frowned. "That was in self defence."
Patsy nodded quickly. "I'm sure, but she didn't differentiate between you and the other staff at that point? She didn't calm down when she saw you?" Patsy hated seeing the look of hurt disappointment on Delia's face but she needed her to be objective.
"I don't think she was in a place to be thinking logically," Delia admitted.
"And if they've been trying for a long time to deal with those periods when she can't think logically, is it reasonable for them to consider a more drastic solution?"
Delia sat back. "Everything I've read about lobotomies fills me with dread," she stated, her voice hoarse with emotion.
Patsy nodded. "It certainly has a barbaric feeling to it," she agreed. "But Dr. Fairfax is an experienced psychiatrist. He's read papers too. He must think that it's a treatment worth trying to help Angela."
Delia closed her eyes and tried to recall her conversation with the doctor. She had to acknowledge that he didn't appear gung-ho in his assessment or decision making. It all just felt so wrong though. She sighed heavily. "I still don't know if I can be part of it, Pats."
"Why don't you go to the ward early tomorrow and speak to Matron? Ask to see Angela's previous notes and see what's already been tried. It may help you make that decision," Patsy suggested.
Delia looked at her lover gratefully. Patsy somehow knew that she needed to make her own mind up about what to do. She had also carefully avoided giving her own opinion. "Thank you," she said simply as she stood up and put on her coat.
Patsy grabbed her purse and left money on the table to cover the bill. "I wish I could help more," she replied as she followed Delia out of the cafe.
They walked shoulder-to-shoulder back towards the Nurses Home. "I don't expect you to solve all my problems, Pats. But knowing you're here makes them more... more manageable I suppose," Delia continued.
"That's exactly how I feel when I talk to you," Patsy answered. "Nothing's overwhelming when I know you're with me."
On their return to Delia's room, she grabbed Patsy's hand and led her inside. "Will you stay?" She asked tentatively.
"I'll stay till curfew, Deels. But we can't risk being caught by the Bursar."
Delia frowned. "She won't know if we're quiet," she protested, her eyes flicking to where the 'door book' lay crumpled on the bookshelf.
Patsy shook her head, taking both Delia's hands in her own. "I wouldn't put it past her to keep a running check on who has been coming and going. If she saw us come back together, she'll be watching." She released one of her hands and tucked a few stray strands of hair behind the shorter woman's ear. "I'm sorry. But it would be folly to take a risk. Not when we're both so close to qualifying."
Delia wanted to be angry with Patsy. She wanted her to break the rules just this once, when she needed her. Instead, a further wave of sadness enveloped her as she realised that she would have to spend the night alone, contemplating what the next day held in store. She stepped in and hugged Patsy tightly. "I don't want to be alone," she said in a small voice.
Patsy wrapped her arms around Delia and reciprocated the hug. She sighed heavily. "I know Deels. I don't want to leave. But small periods of separation are a better alternative to us being permanently separated, and without jobs." She kissed the side of Delia's head, and felt the brunette tremble as she tried to maintain control. "I'll stay as long as I can," she stated. "I might not be physically here, but I am always with you."
Delia sniffed as she buried her face into the crook of Patsy's neck. "I hate when you leave," she muttered.
Patsy felt her heart clench, but forced the logical part of her brain to maintain control. It was simply too risky to gamble on if the Bursar was watching. "I hate it too," she admitted softly. "But it's the right thing to do." She placed another kiss on Delia's head. "I'm off tomorrow. Come to my room as soon as you finish. I'll be waiting for you," she promised.
Delia nodded, but did not speak. She didn't trust her voice right now. She felt weak and vulnerable, and wanted nothing more than for Patsy to hold her all night and tell her that everything would be alright. Logically, she knew Patsy was right to be cautious. Logic didn't take away the pain she felt at the thought of being alone however.
The women remained in the tight embrace for several moments. Eventually, Patsy slightly disengaged, knowing that curfew was rapidly approaching. She stepped back and lifted up Delia's chin so that they could look at each other. "I have to go," she said somewhat redundantly.
Delia swallowed and nodded again. "I know."
Patsy stroked the side of Delia's face. "I might not physically be here, but remember I've got you. I've always got you," she vowed, before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Delia's lips.
As they broke the kiss, Delia gave a half-smile, knowing that Patsy was sincere. She couldn't help but think that Patsy's declaration offered only cold comfort though as she turned to leave and return to her own room.
When Delia entered the department the next morning she was expecting it to be quiet. It was too early for the morning tea rounds and the patients would either still be asleep or at least still in their beds. What greeted her was a hushed panic. Staff were hurrying throughout the department and there were various conversations held in audible whispers. Something bad had obviously happened, Delia realised with dread. She spotted Matron and approached cautiously. "Good morning Matron. I know I'm early. What's happened?" There was no point dancing around the obvious commotion on the ward.
Matron looked at Delia sharply. "One of the patients has gone missing. The hospital is being searched now, but the other patients have picked up on the situation and are restless." She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "You're supernumerary today, aren't you?"
Delia winced. "Not exactly. I'm supposed to be assisting with Angela Gold."
"Miss Gold is the patient that has gone missing," Matron advised Delia curtly. "I need you to assist in the search of the hospital grounds. The police have been informed and are making local enquiries. She can't have got far, but we need to rule out that she isn't hiding in the hospital somewhere. The porters and some of the nurses are assisting but we need staff for the day shift."
Delia nodded. "What happens if I find her?" She asked nervously.
Matron pulled a face. "That rather depends on her frame of mind. If she's calm and responsive, by all means encourage her back here. If she's unstable, which is far more likely to be the case given that she's left, get help from the porters. They'll be able to get her back where we can keep her more secure."
Delia wasn't sure she liked the sound of that. If Angela was found by any porter, or the police, she was likely to be manhandled back to a secure room. Delia was certain that would do nothing to help her current state of mind. She hurried from the ward and started her search in the same wing, trying to look at the hospital in a way Angela might. Would she just try and hide in the building or would she want to get away?
Realising that she shouldn't be too rational in her thought patterns, as Angela certainly wouldn't be thinking that way, Delia set herself a methodical approach. She had to find her before she harmed herself.
Two hours later and Delia had reached the ground floor. She could see porters and other staff bustling around so could only assume that Angela was still unaccounted for. Delia had searched all the linen rooms and sluice areas. She had checked the kitchen areas and pantries as well as the public toilet areas. She was beginning to think that Angela had indeed left the hospital.
Delia suspected that the police would have already gone to her home address to see if she had made it back there. She wasn't convinced that Angela would consider it a safe place though. Delia shook her head. She needed to clear her thoughts and think before searching again. The Welsh nurse stepped out of the hospital and decided to wander around the perimeter. Angela might be hiding out in the grounds after all, and in the meantime, the fresh air would do Delia some good.
After completing a circuit however, Delia was beginning to think that her search would be fruitless. She had also had plenty of time to consider the implications of Angela's disappearance. Had she known that she was about to undergo the procedure? Was she running away from treatment? In some ways, Delia didn't want to find the young woman. After all, she didn't want her to go through it either. This way, she would be safe from surgical intervention. But was she safe from herself? Could she cope while her mental health was in such a fragile state?
All Delia knew for certain was that there were too many questions that still needed answers. And she wanted to know Angela was at least safe.
Sighing with frustration, she looked heavenward for a moment as she wracked her brains about where to search next. In that moment she saw movement on the roof of the hospital and her keen eyes focused on the spot. A few seconds later, she saw the movement again. It was clear that someone was on the roof. Delia felt her stomach lurch at the thought that it might be Angela, and what she might be doing up there.
She was off and running before she could pursue that line of thought any further. She zigzagged through the general crowds near the entrance of the hospital and headed for the stairs. She spotted a porter and changed direction. "I think Angela Gold is on the roof."
"Sorry, who?" The porter looked at her in bewilderment.
"Go to Psychiatrics and tell Matron that I think Angela Gold is on the roof," Delia tried again, not wanting to waste any more time.
"That's not my department, Nurse," the porter objected indignantly.
"Just go," Delia commanded, not waiting to see if he was moving as she began to trot up the stairs. She had already been delayed for too long. As she worked her way up each level Delia hoped that it was Angela up on the roof. It would be extremely embarrassing if it was someone from Maintenance undertaking checks. But somehow Delia knew she was right. And that led onto another set of thoughts, including how long Angela may have been up there. More concerning however was why she was up there. Delia just hoped that if she was planning on doing anything drastic, she would hold off a little longer. Although she had no faith in her own ability to prevent Angela from doing anything she didn't want to do.
The diminutive nurse was panting heavily by the time she reached the top of the building. Her thighs were burning with the effort she had expended. She ignored the sign prohibiting access to the roof and opened the door, groaning when she saw yet more stairs. Delia sucked in two large lungfuls of air and then raced up them.
The door leading onto the roof was ajar. Delia didn't want to startle whomever was on the roof, so she pushed it open gently, squinting into the daylight as she stepped out. Very quickly she located the other person on the roof, standing right by the ledge and looking down.
Delia realised that the woman must be frozen. She was dressed only in a nightgown and her feet were bare. For a moment, Delia hesitated, unsure what to do. Approaching Angela might provoke her into taking an action Delia did not want her to. Instead, she deliberately scuffed her shoe along the ground as she shut the door behind her, clearly signalling that Angela was no longer alone.
The sound had the desired effect as Angela spun around immediately. "Stay back," she called out, sounding frightened and desperate.
Delia stopped moving immediately. "Angela, it's me. Delia," the nurse identified herself, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. "Don't worry, I won't come any closer."
"Good." Angela seemed to falter for a moment as she squinted at Delia. "Good," she repeated more softly. She rubbed a hand up and down her arm. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you," Delia admitted, feeling that honesty was the way to go. "Everyone's been worried about you."
"They want to experiment on me," Angela refuted sharply. "They're not worried about me at all."
Delia wondered if Angela had overheard something she shouldn't have. "We are worried," she repeated. "We've been searching the hospital for you."
"You've found me now. What are you going to do?"
Delia could see Angela's teeth chattering. But her stance was almost belligerent. There was no way she would be able to rush anything or get her to do anything she didn't want to do. "That depends on you, Angela. What do you want to do?"
"I want to go home." Angela admitted, her voice cracking slightly.
"Come on then. Let's go inside and get it sorted," Delia offered.
"Don't lie to me. You won't allow me home," the young woman snarled, even as she rubbed her arms again
Delia unfastened her cardigan. She would get chilly but Angela was clearly in greater need. "I'm going to throw you my cardy. I promise I won't come closer," she assured.
"I don't want it," Angela protested, backing up to the edge.
"Please, don't go back any further. There's no trick. I'm just going to throw it to you. I'll wait by the door. I can see you're cold. At least warm up a little."
Angela stared at Delia suspiciously but didn't say anything further. Delia took that to be a good sign and she shrugged off her cardigan. She folded it tightly in the hope that it might travel further when she tossed it to the other woman. Fortunately it landed only a couple of feet in front of Angela and Delia remained determinedly still, waiting for Angela to react.
After a few moments silence, Angela's shoulders dropped slightly and she darted forward, snatching the garment quickly before stepping back to the ledge. She hurriedly put it on, closing her eyes as she folded her arms across her body, feeling the warmth immediately.
Delia nodded in relief but still said nothing, not wanting to rouse any sort of suspicion from the girl.
Eventually, Angela fidgeted under the nurse's scrutiny. "There's no point staying here. You'll only get cold."
Delia shrugged. "Possibly, but I think I'll be warmer than you. At least I have shoes on."
Angela looked down at her bare feet. "They take your slippers away from you when you're on watch. It's supposed to stop you wanting to escape." She huffed before she looked back up at Delia angrily. "I'm not right up here," she said harshly, tapping the side of her head with a forefinger. "Why would they think I'd be bothered if I had shoes on or not?"
"I don't know," Delia admitted. "I haven't worked with the patients on watch yet. I haven't got enough experience." She wasn't sure if it was wise to admit a fallibility, recalling that Matron had insisted that the patients would use that as a point of manipulation. Delia wasn't sure there was much left to manipulate in this situation. She needed Angela away from the ledge, preferably inside the building. She would only be able to do that if she established a credible rapport with the woman.
Angela canted her head as she thought about Delia's response. "You're the first one who hasn't tried to tell me that I'm not mad," she commented. "They always deny it. They just say I'm unwell, or I need help. They never say I'm not right in the head."
Delia exhaled heavily. "If I'm honest, it all means the same thing. I just don't think they want to upset you when you're already struggling, by being so blunt about it all."
"They make it worse. Do they think I don't know I'm mad?" Angela spun round and looked at the edge of the building. "Sometimes I think it would just be easier all round if I didn't exist anymore."
Delia couldn't help but take a step forward. She waited in alarm, wondering if Angela had noticed that she had closed the gap. It quickly became obvious that Angela wasn't really concentrating on her presence anymore.
"I should have died with my sister," the young woman muttered. "It would have made everything so much simpler."
"Life isn't simple," Delia replied softly. "Everyone has challenges. Some just have significantly greater ones than others."
Angela barked out a harsh laugh. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"I don't think there's anything I can say that will make it better," Delia replied quietly. She took another small step, carefully placing her foot so as not to scuff the ground.
"That's the problem, isn't it? No one can make it better. I can't even think straight sometimes. They ask questions, and tell me to do things and I can't answer. I don't know what the answers are. It makes me angry." Angela's voice was harsh with tears.
Delia was just grateful she was continuing to talk. She was also wondering where the other staff were. She was woefully unprepared to deal with this sort of thing. She needed help. "Is that what happened yesterday when you were upset?"
"They talk at me. They never ask what's wrong. They never talk to me." Angela spun back round to look at Delia. She looked surprised that Delia was a lot closer than she thought she would be and Delia worried that she might overreact. Instead, the young patient gave her a wan smile. "You're the only one who's listened to me. Treated me like a human being."
"I'm listening now," Delia replied softly. "Talk to me. Say what you need to say."
Angela laughed again. "It's not that easy, is it?"
Delia raised her eyebrows. "Isn't it? Start talking. Take your time. And don't worry about what you say."
Angela shook her head. "You haven't got time to listen to me. You've got a job to do."
Delia smiled grimly. "I am doing my job. Right now. And I have all day to listen to you. So please. Talk to me."
Angela took a glance back at the ledge. "Are you going to try and talk me out of jumping?" She asked bluntly.
"Of course I am. That's my job too. But I actually think it's more important right now to listen to you. And I can't do that if you're not here." Delia couldn't help but be a little flippant. Her heart was racing but she knew Angela was no longer totally suspicious of her presence. She was also convinced that anything other than complete honesty would be a waste of time.
Angela blinked a few times, and Delia could see tears track down her cheeks. "Why do you care?" She asked brokenly.
That gave Delia pause for thought. Simply saying she cared because she was a nurse wasn't going to be helpful, or indeed the truth in this case. But she could hardly tell the woman that her childhood plight reminded Delia of Patsy's and it was far too easy to consider that it could be Patsy standing there just as broken. "I think you could do with a friend. And I know that I can do that."
Angela's bottom lip quivered for a moment and suddenly her knees buckled. She sank to the ground and hid her face in her hands even as great wracking sobs convulsed her body.
Delia closed the gap immediately and sat down with her, wrapping her arms around the woman. She could feel how cold Angela was, even with the cardigan. "I've got you," she whispered as she rubbed the woman's back reassuringly. The woman shivered in Delia's arms as she continued to cry but Delia was not going to rush her back inside. Angela needed to be treated carefully and slowly.
Even as that thought entered her head, the door to the roof flew open, and the women sat up. A porter and a policeman rushed towards them.
Angela disengaged herself from Delia quickly and scrambled to stand up. "No." She turned towards the edge of the building but Delia caught her arm and held on firmly.
"I'm sorry Angela. I can't let you hurt yourself," Delia said.
The psychiatric patient yanked her arm from Delia's grip easily, but the delay was enough for the policeman to close the gap completely and he tackled her to the ground. He rolled them both back well away from danger before he sat up, still holding the woman firmly. "Come on Miss Gold. You need to come with me."
Angela shot a hurt look at Delia. "Did you have them waiting for me?"
Delia shook her head rapidly. "No, but the police had to be informed. You were missing."
Angela struggled futilely. The policeman holding her was almost twice her size. "Please don't let them experiment on me," she begged. "I'm a human being."
Delia felt her heart break even as she knew that she wouldn't be able to persuade the policeman to relax his hold on Angela; not while they were still on the roof.
The porter held open the door and Angela was bundled through, still crying. Delia hurried to follow them. Once on the ward, Angela was led swiftly into a side room within the department and the door shut behind her. Delia noticed that there were several other policemen on the ward, along with a nurse already with her outdoor cape on. She approached Matron. "Has something else happened?"
"Well done for locating Miss Gold, Nurse Busby," Matron commended gruffly. "The porter was a little surprised at how you instructed him, however I have reminded him that they are here to assist us, not the other way round." The senior nurse sounded almost proud of Delia's efforts.
"Thank you," Delia replied automatically. She looked around again, "What's going on? Why are there so many people here?"
Matron looked over her glasses at the student nurse. "While you have been trying to locate Miss Gold, I have been working with Dr. Fairfax to get her some more intensive help." She glanced over to the side room before looking back to Delia. "Once Dr. Fairfax has checked her out and deemed her fit to travel, she will be transferring to the secure unit at The Bethlem. They have a space all ready for her."
Delia felt an icy cold dread go through her. "Why is she going there?" She asked nervously.
"Dr. Fairfax decided that she was too much of a risk to herself and other patients if she stayed here. She'll be able to undergo all the procedures necessary and remain safe and secure at The Bethlem," Matron explained curtly.
"She's still having the lobotomy?" Delia couldn't help but ask.
"Yes, amongst other recognised treatments." Matron frowned as she saw Delia go pale. "Nurse Busby, please don't judge methods you don't understand. The Bethlem have been treating the mentally ill for years. She'll get the best care."
Delia shook her head. "She didn't want to be experimented on," she demurred softly.
Matron frowned. "They won't be experiments. They are recognised procedures and they are for her own benefit."
"She won't see it that way," Delia muttered darkly.
Matron narrowed her eyes slightly. "Nurse Busby, now that we know what is happening with Miss Gold, you aren't required here today. I suggest you take the rest of the day off and return to the normal schedule."
Delia looked at the Matron steadily. "Can I at least say goodbye?" She asked, knowing that it would be difficult, but feeling like she owed Angela something.
"I don't think that would help anyone, Nurse Busby. She's likely to be sedated for the journey anyway so that she doesn't get distressed. I'll see you on your next shift." There was no doubt that Matron was dismissing Delia from the ward. Without wilfully disobeying, there was little Delia could do. She paused for a moment, wondering if she could change Matron's mind, but the woman stood resolutely in front of her, waiting for her to go.
Finally nodding agreement, Delia turned on her heel and left the department, wondering how she was going to be able to return.
To Be Continued...