Chapter 2: Telling the Team part 1
Toby and Happy try to tell the team their news, but work gets in the way. When they finally find themselves alone, they have a talk about the past.
Note: Chapter 2 and 3 are more about their adjustment to being engaged and dealing with moments from their past, while Chapter 4 is the start of the planning for these two (chapter 4 is titled "The Wedding Planner"). So stay tuned, a lot of fun things are coming! Thanks so much for reading it! :-)
They didn't tell the team the next day. In fact, the team didn't find out until a week later. It wasn't for lack of trying though. Toby and Happy had walked into the garage, late, the next day, hand in hand, ready to tell everyone the news. But within five minutes of their arrival, Walter and Happy were shuttled off to an undisclosed military base to repair a military satellite. Toby barely had time to kiss her goodbye before they were off. He didn't feel right telling Paige and Sylvester about their good news without Happy there, so he decided to wait.
Happy and Walter were gone for five days, the problem a lot bigger than they had originally been expecting. With the limited contact back at the garage, Toby was going crazy without her there, especially given some of the difficulties Walter and Happy had to deal with, without the help of the team.
It was late in the afternoon on the fifth day they were gone. Toby was sitting at his desk, throwing playing cards into his hat. He was bored out of his mind, but didn't want to leave for fear that he would miss a check in from Happy; they hadn't called in over 24 hours, so another one was due any time now. But he was just about ready to give in to the temptation of home and his bed, when the door opened. He glanced up and in walked a weary looking Happy and Walter.
"Happy," Toby whispered, standing up, not believing that she was walking his way.
He quickly strode over to Happy, pulling her into his arms the second she was within reach. He held her close and kissed her deeply, choosing to ignore her rule of no kissing like that in front of the team. She responded by threading her hands into his hair and holding him close, surprising Toby.
"God, baby," Toby breathed, pressing his forehead to hers, "next time, I'm going with you. I was so worried when I hadn't heard from you since yesterday morning."
Happy pressed her lips to his one more time and slid her hands to his face, "I agree," she mumbled against his lips before taking a step back. She sighed and looked up at him sheepishly, "We got arrested for trespassing in a secure location and were in military jail over night while we were waiting for Homeland to get us out of there. That's why I didn't call, I couldn't."
Toby pulled her to him again, hugging her as tightly as he could. He kissed the top of her head and muttered, "It's a good thing I didn't know or I would've been in that jail right along with you."
She chuckled and let herself relax, finally feeling safe and content just by being in his arms again.
"But you're fine, right? No injuries or legal battles ahead of us?" he mumbled into her hair.
She shook her head, her voice muffled by his chest, "Nope, we're both fine and Cabe took care of the rest. I'm just tired. I didn't sleep last night, for obvious reasons, or really at all this week."
Toby stepped back and grabbed her hand, "Well then let's get home and into our bed. I can't have my fiancée falling asleep on her feet."
A slight blush rose on her cheeks. She looked around to see what the rest of the team was doing. In a lowered voice, she leaned in and asked, "Uh, did you say anything to Paige and Sylvester?"
Toby shook his head and kissed her forehead, "Nope. I was waiting for you. I didn't want to tell them you're my fiancée but not have you by my side. Did you tell Walter?"
"No," Happy almost shouted, "I thought we should tell him together. And that man is so oblivious that he didn't notice the ring at all."
Toby laughed and looked over at the team. Paige was leaning into Walter's side, a relieved smile on her face at having him back, and Sylvester was listening intently to what Walter was telling him. He tilted his head toward them, "We could tell them now, if you want."
Happy yawned and shook her head, "Let's do it tomorrow. Paige will want to celebrate and I'm not the in mood for that tonight." She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest, "I just want to go home, curl up next to you, and go to sleep."
Toby reached up to feel her head, "Are you sick? You never talk like this."
She reached down and pinched his backside, laughing at his yelp, "No, I've just really missed you. I can't sleep without you anymore, so I didn't get much sleep at all this week." She looked up at him and smiled, "And honestly, being with Walter at a military base is not how I wanted to spend the week after getting engaged. So I just really want to spend time with you and only you tonight."
"That I can do for you, cupcake."
Happy took a step back, giving him an odd look, "Cupcake? Seriously, Doc?"
He grabbed her hand and shrugged one shoulder, "What? I'm running out of ideas."
Rolling her eyes, she started walking towards the door, "Never again."
"I don't know, I kind of like it," Toby teased, waving to the team as they left the garage.
"Keep calling me that and we'll see how much longer this relationship lasts," she grumbled back, stopping in front of the car and fisting her hands in Toby's shirt to bring him eye level with her. She kissed him quickly and deeply, "And you don't want that to go away, do you?" she breathed before kissing him again slowly.
Toby swallowed hard, his eyes, filled with desire, flickered between her lips and eyes, "Uh, what-whatever you say."
Happy smirked and patted his cheek, "You're so easy to mess with."
Toby shook his head, coming back to the present. He opened the car door for her and smiled, "Only with you babe."
"Damn right, only with me," she yawned, settling into the car.
By the time Toby had walked around the car and stepped in, Happy already had her eyes closed and head leaning back against the headrest. Toby pulled out his phone and took a picture; she looked so relaxed and young, so trusting of him. He smiled to himself and started the car.
"The only reason I'm letting you drive is because I'm too tired to keep my eyes open," she mumbled, Toby barely able to understand her.
He reached over and squeezed her thigh, "I know, pumpkin."
"Pumpkin? That's even worse than cupcake," she complained, keeping her eyes closed. Toby knew she wasn't too upset with him though when she threaded her fingers through his own.
By the time Toby had reached their apartment, Happy was asleep. He glanced over at her and then at their three story walk up. He could carry her, he'd done it before, but he had been sleep deprived this week too. Happy wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep by herself anymore. He groaned silently and rubbed his eyes, knowing that he couldn't wake Happy, she definitely had the worse week. He got out of the car as silently as possible and made his way over to her door. Opening it, he reached inside and unbuckled her, gathering her in his arms.
"I can walk," she murmured, slapping his hands away as he was about to lift her from the car.
"Are you sure?" he asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder when she got out.
Happy nodded and yawned, leaning into his side. They slowly walked up to their apartment and by the time they reached it, they were both dead on their feet. Toby unlocked the door and ushered Happy inside.
"It's so good to be home," she groaned, stretching.
"And it's good to have you home," Toby whispered, kissing the side of her head.
Happy started walking to their bedroom, pulling off clothes as she went, leaving a trail behind her. Toby followed behind, picking up the clothes.
"Uh, what are you doing, Hap?" he questioned, following her into the bedroom.
She went over to the drawers and pulled out one of his t-shirts, "Don't get the wrong impression, babe," she said, slipping the shirt on over her head, "I'm tired, so we're going to bed. No hanky panky tonight."
Toby laughed and walked up behind her, pulling her into his chest. He kissed the side of her neck, "I love you."
"I love you too," she said, turning her head to kiss him quickly. Then she pulled out of his arms and collapsed, face down on the bed.
"Hurry up," she said, her voice muffled by the bed, "I want to sleep."
Toby grinned and quickly stripped down before pulling on his pajama pants. He climbed into bed, pulling Happy towards him. She immediately nuzzled into his side, wrapping her arm around his waist, and he felt her entire body relax. He loved these moments with her; they were so normal and easy, words weren't needed between them to know exactly what the other needed.
Happy sighed contentedly and kissed his neck where her face was nestled, "Night, Doc."
Toby held her closer and closed his eyes, "Night, baby."
They were both asleep within minutes.
Toby's phone rang just before 7 the next morning, rousing him from his sleep. He grabbed for it blindly and brought it to his ear.
"Hello?" he said, his voice rough with sleep.
"Toby, it's Walter."
Toby groaned, "Walt, what do you want? I know we're not late to work yet, so it can't be that."
"Uh, no, no it's not that. I was calling to inform you and Happy that I've given everyone the day off. It's been a long week and would be to our advantage if we all took time off."
"Really?" Toby asked, shock running through him.
"Uh, yes," Walter sounded flustered.
Toby could've sworn he heard a moan from Walter's side of the conversation. He held back his laughter, "Are you okay, buddy? I'm hearing some strange noises."
Walter coughed, "Yes, we're, um, I'm fine. I'll see you and Happy tomorrow. Bye."
Toby set the phone back down, chuckling to himself.
"Was that Walt?" Happy mumbled sleepily, blinking her eyes open.
Toby nodded, "Yeah, he gave us the day off. Said we deserved it after a long week." He laughed, "He just wants to spend the day alone with Paige."
Happy rolled over and curled into Toby's side, laying her head on his chest, "I don't care, as long as I can go back to sleep."
He kissed the top of her head, "Go back to sleep sweet pea."
"You too. Love you."
A little while later, Toby was woken again, this time to Happy kissing his bare shoulder and back, "Hi," he muttered, sleep still thick in his voice.
"Hi," Happy grinned, kissing her way up to his ear, then whispered, "fiancé."
A large smile lit up his entire face, "I like the sound of that."
Happy placed one more kiss on his shoulder then sat up, back against the headboard. Toby turned over and placed his hands on her bare thigh, ghosting his fingers across her skin, drawing random designs.
"We get to spend the whole day together now," he murmured, distracted by the sight of her. Her hair was a mess, his shirt was hanging off her shoulder, and there was a sleepy look in her eyes, but she still looked amazing. Toby still couldn't believe he was the only one who ever got to see her like this, see her vulnerable and trusting, see her smile when she woke or hear the grunt she gave while stretching. He leaned over to kiss her thigh, just because he wanted to.
Happy smiled and threaded her fingertips through his hair, "I know, what should we do?"
"We should go out, do normal couple things, and not save the world for one day - the beach, eat a lazy lunch, maybe a movie, I don't know, just do something that people would do who just got engaged."
She laughed, "Well, I have no idea what that is."
Toby smirked and sat up next to her, "Me either."
Happy gave him a questioning look, "Uh, genius? Did you forget you were engaged before?"
Toby scowled at her for bringing that up, "It wasn't the same. I never loved her like I do you. I was going to marry her because I thought that was what I was supposed to do, to be normal."
"Oh," she said quietly, laying her head against his shoulder, encouraging him to talk if he wanted.
Toby sighed and grabbed her left hand. He started playing with the ring on her finger as he weighed his words carefully. In a quiet voice, he began talking, "You want to know what I did the week after Amy and I got engaged? I went on a gambling bender. I barely remember that week because I spent it in a drunken stupor, hopping from place to place, gambling all of my, and Amy's, money away. At the end of the week, I came crawling back, beaten, bloody, and completely broke. That's the only reason I came back, because I had nowhere else to go. And yet I still thought marrying her was what I wanted, that if I would marry her, all my problems would go away. For a shrink, I definitely was in denial about myself, unable to figure out my own problems."
"Why did you gamble?" Happy asked in a fearful whisper. It was clear she was worried this was going to bring up bad memories, making the urge to gamble for Toby too great to ignore.
"At the time, I told myself it was because I was so happy. I was celebrating the only way I knew how. But now, I think it's because I was scared and knew it wasn't right. I was self-sabotaging because I wanted her to end it and I didn't know how to end it myself. I went to the place I was most comfortable because I was uncomfortable in my life. Gambling helped me cope with the things I didn't want to deal with. And then it just continued to spiral out of control, as you well know."
She gave him a sad smile and twisted her hand to interlock their fingers together, "Why didn't it work? Why did she stay with you, but then cheat on you?"
Happy ground her teeth at the thought of Amy hurting Toby in that way. When Amy had finally come clean and broken up with Toby, it took everything inside of Happy to hold back and not go after her. Toby was her best friend and she had wanted to protect him. But then Toby had stopped her. He grabbed her arm and, with that small touch, a rush of excitement and warmth went through her, a feeling she still got every time he touched her. He pleaded with her to stop. When she looked into his eyes, she saw that he was hurting, but he was also relieved. And then he looked at her with a look Happy had only ever seen a few times before, but now saw all the time. It was a look of awe and love and want. So she stopped, gave him one of her rare hugs, and went back to her work. It was after that the dynamics started to shift between Toby and Happy. It took Toby awhile to get over what had happened, but when he did, there was no turning back for either of them. They went from two, separate human beings, to being so intertwined, that they weren't whole without the other.
Toby groaned and closed his eyes, thinking quietly for a minute, "She took me back, I realize now, not because she loved me, but because of what she thought I could be. I was this shrink superstar, graduated from Harvard Medical School at the age of 17. I had already been published and widely accepted in the psychiatric world. Men old enough to be my grandfather were coming to me with their theories and ideas for research." He took a deep breath and tightened his grip on Happy's hand, "She liked that, she liked the prestige that came with that. But then she found Quincy, and he treated her in a way I never did. And she realized how much was wrong between us."
Toby opened his eyes and took a shuttering breath. He turned his head to look at Happy. The guilty and scared look in his eyes breaking her heart. She reached up with her free hand and cupped his face, leaning in to kiss him gently.
"You have to know that this doesn't change how I feel about you Toby. I already knew most of this about you. You're better than that now. You're stronger than your addiction now. I love you and not because you changed, but because of the man you are, the man you've always been since the day I met you, the man who will do anything for me and loves me despite my flaws."
Toby leaned into her touch, "Thank you. But the way I treated her - I messed up that part of my life. No one should ever be treated like that. I used her and completely disregarded her feelings. I would never do that to you. I hope you know that."
Happy smiled at him, "I do. And you're not all to blame, baby. Amy hurt you too. She cheated on you. She used you to try to get a better name for herself."
Toby shrugged and looked down at their connected hands. It was clear that he didn't quite believe Happy when she said he wasn't completely to blame. She knew it was going to take longer than one morning to convince him otherwise. So she sighed and laid her head back down.
"One thing I've always wondered - you say that you started to fall for me when you met me, you say that you didn't love Amy like you were supposed to. If that's the case, why did you want her back? You begged for months for her to take you back."
Toby looked her directly in the eyes and bluntly told her, "I thought she was my only chance at normal and I didn't want to fail at normal life like my parents did. I didn't know any better at the time and I honestly thought my feelings for you were just a crush. I didn't think I'd get another chance at normal, so I tried to hold on and I tried to get my normal back. But Happy, I was wrong. I was so wrong."
Happy smirked, trying to lighten the mood, "You're actually admitting you were wrong?"
He rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead, pulling her into his side; he needed to have her close, feel her pressed up against him. "Yeah, I'm admitting I was wrong. Amy was never my normal. You are - always have been and always will be. I don't need to have someone that society considers normal to succeed in life. I need someone who will challenge me to do better, who will stand by me when I mess everything up, who loves me for me." He kissed her lightly, "And that's you, Hap. It always has been. My normal is you."
She blushed and looked up to see that he was telling the truth. He truly believed that he was saying. "How do you know that?" she asked quietly.
Toby grinned at her, "Even when the going got tough, I never questioned my feelings for you or your feelings for me. I knew we'd work through whatever came our way. I've never wanted to run away and escape from you, like I did with her. And that's how it should be."
Happy grinned and kissed him slowly, pouring out her love for him in that kiss, letting out a quiet moan. He responded in kind. When Toby pulled back, he pressed his forehead to her, his breathing slightly labored.
"There's one more thing I need to say."
She looked at him, confused, not sure what else he wanted to tell her.
Toby took another deep breath and sat back again, "I didn't see the signs, I still can't believe that, but I didn't see that she was cheating on me until I found out and she broke up with me. I hated her at the time," he grabbed Happy's hand and smiled, "but I'm grateful to her now though - because if she wouldn't have found the courage to do what I knew needed to be done, I don't know if I would've found my way to you. I was so caught up in my head about this normal life we were supposed to have, that even though I knew you were someone special, I didn't know what to do about it. I knew I had a different connection with you than with her, but I didn't know what that meant; like I said, I thought it was just a crush at the time. I think I would've stayed with her for the principle of it, because I didn't want to be so messed up, like my parents." Toby ran his hand through his hair and almost looked panicked at the thought running through his head, "God, Hap, if she wouldn't have cheated on me, I think I would've missed out on being happy. Because when I'm with you, I've never been happier. You are the person I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life, the only person I will ever want. And now, part of me wonders if I was with Amy so I could learn what true love is and that's what we have. Nothing will ever compare to what we have." He smiled gently and brushed his lips against hers, "I love you so much."
"I love you too," she whispered, then climbed on his lap and hugged him close. "Thank you for telling me this. That can't have been easy."
"Hap, talking to you is the easiest thing in the world. And I meant everything I said. You are it. I just- I feel bad for the person I was back then."
Happy cupped his face, "But you're not that person anymore. So you don't have to dwell on it anymore. We all have regrets, I know that better than anyone. But I know, I trust, that you're never going to be that person again. We both make each other better."
"Have I ever told you how perfect you are?"
Rolling her eyes, she slid off his lap and onto the bed, "A time or two."
"Well it's true. Thank you for listening to me."
Happy shrugged, "I don't mind. We're getting married, so I'm going to have to listen to you for the rest of my life."
Toby grinned, "We are getting married. And I say we get back to celebrating that. Let's keep the past in the past."
She nodded, "Agreed. And I've been thinking, I want to go to the beach today. What do you say we head to the boardwalk and spend the day there, figure out how we're telling the team tomorrow."
"Perfect. But I've really missed you, and if you don't mind, I have something I want to do first," he grabbed her legs and pulled her down the bed, until she was laying next to him.
He leaned over her for a passionate kiss, tangling his tongue with hers, running his hand up her thigh to her side. She moaned, rolling them until she was straddling his waist. She brushed her fingertips across his bare chest and leaned down to kiss him.
In a low voice, she breathed, "I thought this was mandatory after being apart. That it wasn't even a question, especially given the way you were woken up today." She moved to gently bite his ear.
Toby squeezed her ass with his hands before sliding them up her back to caress her soft skin. Happy sat up and pulled off her shirt, dropping it to the floor next to the bed with a smirk on her face.
Toby moaned, "You really are the perfect woman. I love you."
Happy nipped at his collarbone, "You better, because I'm marrying you." She slid her lips to his neck, gently sucking the skin above his pulse point and muttered against his skin, "I missed you too," then proceeded to showed him just how much she did.