AN: We are so sorry wedidnt update recently! We promise 2 be betteraboot (hacanadians) it!Alsoi wish jill stein had won, she is my hippie mommy
SEASON 1, EPISODE 1, CHAPTER 7: I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Nick's POV (Written by M)
I guess it was pretty obvious to anybody with a fuckin brain that I like dudes too and that I had a boner sometimes around Luke but I ain't a fuckin fag either. At least I don't jerk it to Luke, only pictures of him.
I was thinkin bout doin it since it's fuckin boring as hell round the cabin and there ain't much to do other than when my uncle makes me, and I guess I could use the orgasm since the only time I got Luke to do anythin with me was when he got drunk on goddam wine coolers (which was fuckin retarded) that were laced with crack and opium and nitrogen.
So I guess i was kind of horny but I was too fuckin lazy to do it so I just kinda laid there looking and feeling like a useless piece of crap thinking about Luke and how we used to make money back in the day with our business that went broke after 6 months.
We were drunk and our drinks were also laced with date rape drugs because the bartender was a fucking faggot pervert and when we woke up I was in the goddam bathroom stall and I heard Luke shouting "NICK WE GOT PAID FOR THIS SHIT"
"What the fuck" I said
"sHE fUcKedd me and PaID mE!"
"What the fuck" I said again
"NiCK LeTs GET CASH dis wAY"
"What the fuck"
So we set up a plan where Luke banged girls and I was his pimp and we made money that way. It kept going for a long time until one of them tried to cuck him and say he got her pregnant and she wanted child support so she sued us and we got in court and they also said we had tax evasion charge bullshit
We went to prison for one day cause then the kid turned out black (actually it was mixed) and the judge realized we didnt have to pay child support but we were still stuck for tax evasion but then Luke fucked one of the guards and the apocalypse started anyways so we got out
I dropped the soap a lot of times that day though and luke said i musta done it intentionally since it kind of went through the entire day but i swear i didnt enjoy it
I stopped thinking about that when he came into the room.
"DADDY WON" he shouted
"What the fuck"
He was wearing a red hat that said "make america great again" on it and a t-shirt that said deplorable faggot, also he was wearing blue jeans too. (AN: if you want to see a picture please give me your email)
"Also the real reason sarah and carlos had to escape is because they were doing voter fraud since sarah is underage but she tried to vote so thats why we took them with us when we ran away"
"What the fuck"
"She tried to write in bernie sanders"
"What the fuck who would vote for a jewish sellout"
"HAHA EXACTLY DUDE"
Then he said he had to go somewhere else, probably to fucking be a faggot with Tank Faggoty or whatever his name was. I wish if he was gonna be a faggot then at least he'd do it with me instead.