26

The Eager and the Expecting:

" Okay so remind me again why we are doing this?" Sirius asked holding the other side of the couch.

They were trying to move the furniture in Doe's living room. Now that Lily was no longer living there she decided it was time for a change.

" Well since you're here anyway, and I needed help" she told him grabbing the end of the couch and moving it to the other wall.

Lily and James had left for their Honeymoon a week ago, and since then Sirius had been spending quite a bit of time at her apartment. She suspected he missed James.

" You're not as fun as James" Sirius joked putting down the end of the couch.

" Well, I am the other best friend" Doe pointed out.

Sirius crossed his arms and gave her a knowing look, " Come on, you know that's not true"

She shrugged, fixing the blanket that had slipped off of the edge of the couch.

" Doe," Sirius said firmly, " you know that you're my best friend and so is James. I need both of you"

She looked up at him giving him a strange look. She knew Sirius was friends with both James and Doe, but she often felt like the 'other' friend.

" Well you know how much I need you" Doe said slightly irritated.

Sirius laughed, " Come here, you idiot" he said and pulled her into a quick hug.

" You really aren't as fun as James though" he added.

She shoved him, " Someone has got to be the serious one!"

Sirius grinned widely and she realized what she had said a few second too late.

" Aren't I the Sirius one?" Sirius asked.

She rolled her eyes dramatically, " You. Are. An. Idiot."

Sirius smiled, " Oh really? Because I seem to remember that you needed me"

" I despise you" She told him pulling herself onto the counter.

" Okay, Meadowes" Sirius said sitting down beside her.

" Moony still visiting his parents?" Sirius asked her.

Doe nodded glumly. Remus' parents had missed him and asked him to spend a few days with them. They had invited Doe as well, but she felt as though that would be intruding so she told Remus to go without her.

She was regretting it terribly. She missed him a lot.

" He's one of those who is lucky enough to still have them" Doe said sadly.

Sirius frowned, " Have you heard from your mom?"

Doe shook her head, " It's been a year, what mother goes an entire year without even caring?"

" Mine" Sirius said, " I left almost four years ago and she hasn't contacted me once"

Doe sighed, " Thats awful, Sirius. Im sorry"

Sirius shook his head, " I think it makes us better people"

She shook her head with a slight laugh, " I don't know about that" Her voice softened, " I just wish I still had family, you know?"

" You do" Sirius said instantly, " You have me. And Remus, Lily, James, and Peter. We are your family, Doe"

Doe brought her knees to her chest, " I know that. And I love you all, it's just still sucks"

Sirius nodded, " I understand, trust me of all people I get it"

Doe nudged his leg with her foot, " At least we have each other right?" she said.

Sirius nodded, " The pair of orphaned best friends"

Doe had been feeling very sick lately. It was mostly in her stomach, She felt like she was going to throw up. She must have caught some sort of bug. It made her very uncomfortable. She tried to keep very busy to distract from it. Aurors were too busy for sick days.

Luckily, Lily and James had come back on Friday night, so the next morning She went over to have breakfast with Lily.

" So how was it?" Doe asked her.

They were sitting in her kitchen, eating pancakes and she was detailing every detail.

" Oh, Doe it was wonderful. We were in this adorable little cottage in East France and the whole village was just so charming!" She exclaimed.

She went on telling her about all of the wonderful day trips and cozy evenings that they had spent together.

" That sounds amazing, Lily. I'm glad you had a good time" she told her.

" I did. I loved it" she said.

Doe took a bite of pancake and instantly regretted it. She felt like she was about to be sick.

" Are you okay?" Lily asked quickly, " you're very pale"

Doe took in a small breath, " I think I'm going to be sick" she said getting up quickly and making her way to Lily's bathroom.

She ended up kneeling over the toilet in discomfort before she threw up. She felt miserable.

Doe cleaned herself up and walked back into the kitchen.

" Are you okay?" Lily asked again. She was cleaning the plates from breakfast.

" Yeah, I'm fine. It's just this stomach bug I've had for a couple of days" Doe told her.

Lily blinked, " A couple of days? Is it when you eat?"she asked.

Doe nodded glumly and sat down at the bar stool in the kitchen.

Lily looked confused for a second and then her eyes widened, " Doe, you don't think you could be.." she trailed off.

" What?" Doe asked her, feeling very out of the loop.

" Pregnant" Lily finished.

Doe looked at her in shock, " No, I can't be." I said quickly. " Remus and I always use the protection spell"

" Always?" Lily asked.

" Yeah-" Doe stopped short paralyzed with fear realizing that there was one night when they hadn't.

" Oh no, the night of your wedding" Doe said burying her face in her hands.

Remus and Doe had gotten so carried away that night they had completely forgotten about it.

Lily gasped.

Doe shook her head firmly, " No, it's got to be a stomach bug" she repeated firmly, " I can't be pregnant"

Lily bit her lip, " but, you could be"

Doe's chest began rising and falling quickly, " I can't be. I'm only nineteen, and I'm an auror. I'm in the Order of the Phoenix for Merlin's sakes" She was babbling quickly. The fear making her nervous.

" It's got to be a stomach bug" she repeated.

" Calm down" Lily said putting an arm around her shoulder. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down.

Lily stood in front of her, " Look I know you are freaking out and it probably is just a stomach bug, but we have to go to St. Mungos and find out for sure okay?" she said.

She intoke a small breath and nodded quickly.

" Come on, we'll floo there" Lily said, " just in case"

Her eyes widened. She knew why she didn't want to apparate. It wasn't good for pregnant women.

She couldn't be pregnant. She wasn't old enough. She wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility.

She wasn't, She told herself. But a tiny voice in the back of her head kept saying but what if you are.

Lily handed her a scoop of floo powder and she dropped it into the fire, loudly saying " St. Mungos".

The flames rose around her and she was engulfed in them, stepping out a moment later, into the St. Mungos fireplace. Lily was right behind her.

She took me by the arm and led me to the receptionist.

" Hi" Lily said smiling sweetly, " Do you know which floor we would go to for a pregnancy?"

Doe flinched at her words. The receptionist noticed.

She turned back to Lily, " That would be the fourth floor"

" Spell damage?" Lily asked, " why is that?"

The receptionist smiled, " It was the failure of a protection spell that did this too you, wasn't it"

" Oh" Lily said," well thank you"

She took her arm and led her to the elevator pressing the button for the fourth floor.

Doe was terrified with fear. She couldn't be pregnant.

Lily squeezed her hand to comfort her as the door opened. Doe let her speak to the receptionist on this floor and only followed her when she walked into one of the rooms. Doe was practically bouncing with nerves.

Lily explained the situation to the Healer in the room, and the woman nodded curtly.

" Well if you are pregnant, there is a simple spell that will tell us" she said patting the spot on the bed for Doe to sit down.

She sat down and the witch held her wand over her stomach, " Revelio!"

There was a quick flash of white light. She looked at the Healer to see if this was good or bad.

She shook her head, " You're not pregnant, you have a stomach virus"

Doe felt a tremendous weight being lifted off of her chest.

" Thank Merlin" she said happily.

The healer flashed her a quick smile and left the room.

Lily pulled her into a hug, " See it's okay"

Doe took in a deep breath, feeling suddenly relived.

Lily looked at her curiously, " Can I ask you something?"

" Of course" Doe told her.

She made a small face, " Would a baby really have been that bad?"

Doe sighed, " For me, right now? Yes. It would be different for you Lily, you're married and you have a desk job. I'm an auror and in the Order, I'm constantly put in danger, and Remus and I haven't even talked about kids yet. I don't know how he would feel about any of this"

Lily frowned, " I know your job right now is too dangerous for a baby, but I think Remus would have been supportive"

Doe smiled, " I know he would have been, but it's not an option right now"

Lily smiled, " I understand"

They walked out of the room and towards the elevator,

" You know though, that kid would have been beautiful." Lily pointed out.

Doe laughed lightly, " Okay, Lily"

After the extremely traumatic experience Doe had had this morning all she wanted to do was see Remus. She apparated to his apartment and Sirius let her in. Remus' door was closed so she knocked on it.

" Come in" Remus called from inside. Doe opened the door. Remus was lying on his bed, reading a very large book in his hands. He moved it away from his face.

" Hey, I didn't know you were coming by" he said happily.

Doe nodded, " I really missed you"

Remus smiled and patted the spot next to him on the bed. Doe closed the door behind her and curled up next to him. Wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his chest.

" Are you feeling any better?" He asked, running his hand up and down her back.

" A little" she told him.

" I'm glad" He said kissing her forehead.

" Actually," she said looking at him, " Lily took me to St. Mungos today. She, well she thought I might be pregnant"

Remus stopped moving for a second. He had gone still, " And are you?" he asked softly.

Doe shook her head, " No, it's just the flu. I should've started with that. Sorry" she said pulling him closer to her.

Remus put down the book and wrapped both arms around her, " You must've been nervous" He whispered into her hair.

Doe nodded, " I was".

" You know," Remus whispered, " If you had been, I would've taken care of you. I wouldn't have wanted you to be apprehensive of telling me something like that"

Doe looked up at him and kissed him, " I know that, I wasn't worried about how you would react, more about what I was going to do if I had been"

" When did we even-" Remus began but stopped, " Ah, the wedding"

Doe nodded laughing slightly, " We may have been a bit pre-occupied"

Remus grinned, " I fear that may have been my fault"

She rolled over so that she was hovering over him, " You were quite enthusiastic weren't you?"

" I was looking at my gorgeous girlfriend" Remus said, " and I was overwhelmed with my love for her, you can't blame me"

She bent her head to kiss him full on the lips.

He pulled her against him again, " I'm glad you came over actually" he said, " I wanted to ask you something"

Doe looked up at him, " And what's that?" she asked.

" Well when I went to my parent's house, they gave me the key to the lakehouse for the weekend. They thought you and I might enjoy a weekend vacation"

" Really?" she asked propping herself up on her elbows.

He nodded, " Do you want to go?" Remus asked.

Doe smiled, " Of course, I do" I said.

Remus broke out into a wide smile, " Let's go then, this weekend"

Doe nodded, " Let's go"