It was early. Earlier than Doe normally would have ever gotten up, except for those specific mornings once a month. It was the only time she ever rose this early. She sat in one of the armchairs facing the door. Waiting, and worrying.
Every full moon was always the same. She couldn't sleep. She would just spend hours tossing and turning, hoping desperately that Remus was okay, and that the next morning she would see him.
This morning was no different.
She wrapped her arms around her knees and kept looking at the clock. It was twenty five past five. He should be here any minute.
She watched the shadows on the wall. It didn't matter how many times she did this, she was just as nervous every time. Living with Remus had actually made it worse.
Before, she wouldn't have noticed if he was five minutes late. Now, it was easy to assume the worst.
No matter what she did, she could never properly distract myself. Books became boring and household tasks would leave her mind free to wander back to the cottage.
She could do nothing but sit there. And wait.
She heard a key in the lock and the door opened.
Remus sauntered into the room looking highly disheveled. He was the most tired looking 19 year old she had ever seen. Sometimes there was so much sorrow beneath his blue eyes.
He barely had time to put his bag down before she had thrown her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her.
She felt him wrap his arms around her as well, letting her bury her face against his neck.
She let go of him a minute later and she noticed the deep scarlet scratch on his right cheek.
" It was a bad night" he said quietly.
" Come on," she said leading him into the kitchen, " I'll get them"
Remus followed her and sat down on one of the stools in the kitchen, unbuttoning his shirt and discarding it. He looked down at the floor.
In addition to the new scar on his face, his chest and back were covered with fresh, red scratches.
Doe started to clean them. Remus barely flinched anymore.
This had become a monthly routine for them.
Ever since he had moved in, Doe always spent the morning after the full moon cleaning him up. It was the small part she could play in making the process slightly easier for him.
She moved to face him, cleaning the wounds on his chest and making her way up to the one on his face. This was the first time she had ever seen him scratch his face.
" Just what I needed" Remus said with slight anger, " a neon sign on my face telling everyone what I am"
She bandaged it, and tucked some of his hair behind his ear, still kneeling in front of him.
" You could have a hundred scratches on your face and it wouldn't change anything" Doe told him, " you'd still be the same handsome, compassionate man I know"
Remus didn't say anything. He looked down.
" Don't you tire of this?" he asked quietly, his voice was hard, " of the stress, and the worry, and the chore that it is? I don't understand why you put up with this. You don't have too"
She crossed her arms, " You're right I don't have too"
Remus looked up at her, his mouth pulled into a tight line.
She waited a minute before she responded.
" I want too" she told him, " because I know you would do the same for me"
Remus shook his head, " But it isn't you, you could go if you wanted too, you could be with someone else"
He stood up. He looked like he was on the verge of snapping.
She grabbed both of his hands.
" Can I ask you a question?" she asked him.
Remus nodded, " Of course"
She looked at him sternly, " If I was bitten by a vampire and had to survive on blood for the rest of my life, but I was the same person, would you leave me?"
" Of course not, I love you" Remus implored.
" Then how is this any different?" she asked.
Remus looked down again, " This is different, this didn't happen to me like that. I have always been this way, I'm always going to be this way"
" Well, I've always loved you and I'm always going to love you, so you're going to have to put up with me sticking around" Doe told him.
Remus sighed, " I don't know how I managed to find someone like you"
Doe walked over to him and closed the distance between them, kissing him tenderly.
They had this argument often, usually after a full moon or a failed job interview. She just hoped that after enough times, Remus would realize that nothing would make her leave.
" We've got a couple hours before the Order meeting" she told him, " let's go to bed, okay?"
Remus nodded and they went back to their bedroom, curling up underneath the quilt. He fell asleep quickly, and so did she. She was comforted having him beside her. She fell into a deep sleep, and began to dream.
" Ah, yes young Dorcas Meadowes" a cruel voice rung out.
It was like knives cutting the air.
The face that had spoken the words was equally as terrifying. A cold pale face, with slits where a noise should be.
He smiled a malicious smile. A smile that had been present for so many unforgivable and unspeakable acts.
It was the smiling face of Voldemort.
" Join me" he said again, " join me and all your fears will simply go away"
" Never" Doe said loudly.
The smile faltered, turning into a pair of pursed lips.
" Then death" they said, and there was a flashing green light.
Doe awoke suddenly. Her chest rising and falling. Remus arms were still around her.
He awoke a few seconds after her, " Everything alright?" he asked, yawning slightly.
Doe nodded, " Everything's fine, Rem." she said leaning down to kiss his forehead.
He smiled slightly and tried to pull her back into bed.
" We have an Order meeting" she reminded him, throwing a glance at the clock. The meeting started in a half hour.
Remus sighed, " Perhaps we don't go, what happens then?" he asked quietly.
Doe bit her lip, " Well, everyone will probably think we've been murdered by Death Eaters, and will come looking for us, and when they find us in bed, they'll assume we've joined ranks with Voldemort, for the sane Remus & Doe would never skip something as crucially important as an Order meeting, and then I'll be fired, we'll be taken to Azkaban for questioning and be ceremoniously shunned from everyone we know"
Remus frowned, " So I suppose we have to go then"
Doe nodded and hopped out of bed.
Remus sighed and followed her. It seemed his mood from earlier in the morning had disappeared, for now he was back to his usual self.
Doe got dressed quickly, pulling her auror robes on over her clothes and left the bedroom.
Remus was already in the kitchen. He had put on some tea and was attempting to use the oven. He had his wand out and was observing it with a curious expression.
" I was trying to make eggs" he said as she walked over, " but it seems to be resisting me"
Doe laughed lightly, " I'll do it" she said taking out her wand and waving it front of the oven. The pan began to move itself and the eggs levitated over the pan, cracking and scrambling themselves.
" You're amazing, you are" Remus said staring at the spoon move around the pan by itself.
Doe shook her head, " I'm rubbish at household magic, you should see Lily, she can conjure an entire Christmas Dinner"
Remus sat down at the table, " Well, I think you're pretty great at it"
He opened today's copy of the prophet and flipped a few pages to in. She knew he was looking at the classifieds. Ever since he had been fired from his job in the ministry, he cowered the ads everyday.
Unfortunately, it was harder than either of them had thought. Mr. Crouch had informed many of the ministry Department heads about Remus' condition, so he was having trouble even procuring an interview.
Doe put the breakfast on two plates and brought one over to him. He ate quietly, not taking his eyes off of the prophet.
" Anything interesting?" she asked him.
He sighed, " Not really,".
Doe felt horrible for Remus. He was one of the most brilliant wizards she knew. He had done even better than her on every exam they had ever taken at Hogwarts. He should be able to have his choice of jobs, but he was being denied them all because of something out of his control.
" Well, Dumbledore said he should have the Wolfsbane potion in a few months right? Once he gets that, it should help things" Doe told him.
Remus nodded solemnly, " I hope so"
" It will " Doe assured him.
Remus and Doe finished their breakfast and then apparated to Headquarters.
Morning meetings were the worst. Discussing Voldemort and his recent deaths really made it hard to focus on anything good for the rest of the day.
When they got to the door, Moody wrenched it open before we could even knock.
" What do I want to tattoo on your wrist?" Moody asked.
" Constant Vigilance" Doe said glumly. Moody moved from the door frame to let them in.
" Did you ask Lupin a question when you say him this morning?" Moody asked her as they walked into the main room.
" Moody, we live together" she reminded him.
" Yes and?" Moody asked.
Doe rolled her eyes, " Don't you think I would have noticed If I woke up next to Death Eater?"
Moody growled, " This is a perfect example of how you ignore constant vigilance, wizards much older than you have been tricked by the power of Death Eaters. You're getting as sloppy as Black"
" How is that I always get brought into the argument?" Sirius asked.
He was leaning against the wall in the living room.
" Because you don't learn either" Moody snapped. He stalked off towards the corner of the room where Dumbledore was standing.
" Hey Moony, Doe" Sirius said walking over, " Mad-eye's in such a cheery mood isn't he?"
" Is he always like that?" Remus asked them.
Sirius and Doe met each other's eyes.
" Most of the time" she said truthfully.
They all walked into the living room. The meeting hadn't started yet so most of the Order members were just standing around, engaged in conversation.
"Oh, James. You are way too old for this!" Lily said angrily stomping down the hallway, with James at her feet. " Oh calm down Lily, I was only messing around" James said.
" What did you do now, Prongs?" Sirius asked, smiling widely.
James grinned sheepishly. " I may have charmed the mirror in our bedroom to insult anyone who tries to look into it"
" It told me I had spattergroit!" Lily said crossing her arms angrily.
" Well obviously you don't" James pointed out.
Lily shot a dirty look at him, " That is not the point, James"
Doe exchanged a look with Remus. They never fought like that. Their fights were usually over much more serious topics. Doe was silently thankful that Remus was the most mature of the marauders.
She squeezed his hand, and he smiled at her slightly.
" Lily, I'm sure James didn't mean it to bother you" Peter piped up quietly joining the conversation.
Lily shook her head, " Oh yes, defend him!".
She grabbed her by the arm, " Come on, Doe" she said leading her away from the boys. Doe cast a confused look back at the rest of them while Lily dragged her away from them and over towards the meeting table.
" Lily, you know James just likes to mess around" Doe told her.
" I know," Lily said patiently, " it just drives me mad sometimes"
" All part of being married, I guess" Doe told her.
" Well you'll see soon enough" Lily said tossing her hair behind over her shoulder.
" What do you mean?" Doe asked her.
" Well I thought it was rather obvious" Lily said, " I think you and Remus will be married soon"
Doe blinked quickly at her, " Remus and I? I doubt it"
" Doe, you've been together for four years, it's not that strange" she pointed out.
Doe shook her head, " Lily, you don't understand. He still thinks he's not good enough. I have to try and convince him everyday that I'm not going to leave, I doubt he'd propose"
Lily frowned, " Trust me, Doe. When someone loves you the way that Remus does, he won't be able to go on much longer without doing it"
Doe shrugged, " I don't know"
Lily smiled slightly, obviously thinking she was right.
Dumbledore sat down at the table, and soon the other members joined him. Everyone gathered around the table.
" I thank you all for coming in this morning, I know it is quite early, but we have a few rather important things to discuss" Dumbledore said.
" No one else has been murdered have they?" Caradoc Dearborn asked anxiously.
Dumbledore shook his head, " Not yet, Mr. Dearborn"
" Yet?" Marlene asked, her eyes wide.
" You are all on treading on the line between life and death," Moody said harshly, " you're trying to stop Voldemort, remember?"
Moody's words had a strange effect on most of the Order members. Most of the younger members looked quite nervous.
Sirius caught Doe's eye and winked. They were both used to Moody, so this didn't phase them even slightly.
" While Mad-eye is essentially correct, there is no immediate danger" Dumbledore said quickly, " today's meeting is to discuss the Ministry's recent acquisition of knowledge. It seems that the auror office has received word of some other suspected Death Eaters. As we all know, Bellatrix Black, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Evan Rosier, Sebastian Mulciber, Severus Snape and Regulus Black have all been identified" Dumbledore said curtly.
The names of some of them came as quite a shock. Doe had known Dumbledore was going to announce this eventually. It was the information Sirius and Doe gathered in Knockturn Alley.
" Regulus Black you said?" Mundungus asked, his eyebrow raised and his face turning to Sirius.
Sirius rolled his eyes, " Yes, Dung. My brother. Have you got something to say about it?" he asked angrily.
" Nope" Mundungus said still eyeing Sirius suspiciously.
" The ministry" Dumbledore began, " has begun to question individuals they consider 'suspicious' but besides the above mentioned eight, there has been no proof"
" Have those eight been arrested then?" Emmeline Vance asked.
Dumbledore shook his head, " They are aware they've been identified. They are avoiding being caught, staying hidden"
Emmeline's face grew quite pale.
" As Lord Voldemort's power continues to grow, we must continue to combat it, starting soon. I will have special missions assigned to all of you. These will be very specific to each person, until then however, I warn you all to be careful. I will see you Friday Night for another meeting" Dumbledore.
He rose and took Professor McGonagall's arm. Together they apparated back to Hogwarts.
There was a rustle as everyone at the table got up and left, starting their days. It was barely nine.
" Come on, you two. We've got work to do" Moody said to Sirius and Doe.
Being the only two aurors in the Order, Moody had been relying heavily on Sirius and Doe for a lot of jobs in the office. It was a miracle if they made it out of there early during the week.
They used the Diggle Fireplace and flooed into the atrium of the ministry. The ministry was crowded. It always was in the morning.
" Nice to see you, Alastor" an older looking wizard called to Moody as they got into the elevator.
Moody roughly pressed the button for the second floor. The door was about to close when a hand stopped it and Lucius walked in.
His long blonde hair was tied back with a black ribbon and he wore emerald robes, brandishing the Slytherin color like an honor.
" Look forward to seeing you later, Mr. Malfoy" Moody said looking straight forward, an obvious smile plastered on his face.
" Oh, I'm sure you do" Lucius said harshly.
Doe didn't know what they were referring too, but the tension between them was undeniable.
The elevator opened on the second floor, and Sirius, Moody, and Doe left quickly.
Most of the other aurors were already in the office.
The job of most of them lately was tracking the all of the recent deaths to Death Eaters. There were pictures of their victims and crimes scattered all over the desks of almost every auror.
Sirius and Doe headed for our cubicles when Moody stopped her.
" Not you, Meadowes" Moody said, " You're coming with me to the courtrooms for the interrogations"
" You want me to go?" Doe asked.
Moody nodded, " I have to go, and they want me to take an auror. Take your wand"
Doe pocketed her wand quickly, nodding at Moody.
" I see you're choosing favorites now" Sirius said leaning back in his chair. He was smiling, obviously joking.
Moody didn't seem to find it as amusing, " When you start doing what I say like Meadowes does than maybe I'll take you too"
Sirius rolled his eyes slightly when Moody turned his back and started walking back to the elevator. Doe had to jog to keep up with his pace.
He got into the elevator again and selected level 9.
" You know Sirius does care" Doe said to him quietly, " he just messes around"
" Black is a good auror" Moody said staring at the elevator buttons, " but he could be a great one if he just focuses. I'm hoping to scare him into it"
" Well good luck" Doe told him, " Sirius is one of the most stubborn people I've ever met"
The elevator dropped quickly. So quickly she had to cling to the handle that was hanging from the ceiling.
The doors opened and revealed a long black shiny hallway. All of the walls seemed to be made of mirrors.
Moody exited the elevator. She followed him.
" So this is where the courtrooms are?" Doe asked as they passed a series of doors.
Moody nodded, " And the Department of Mysteries"
" What's in the Department of Mysteries?" Doe asked.
" Well if you knew it wouldn't be a mystery now would it?" Moody asked shoving the door to Courtroom ten open quickly.
Doe didn't know what to expect, but she didn't think it would be quite so crowded. In the middle of the floor was a large chair. Doe noticed it had chains attached to it.
There were Hit Wizards standing next to it. In front of the chair was stacked rows of witches and wizards. The entire Wizarding Gamot and Confederation of Wizards was sitting on one side. The Minister of Magic himself was sitting in a large high rise chair, surrounded by his staff.
" Come on" Moody said climbing over rows of seats. De followed him and sat down in the seat beside him a few rows up from the front. Doe noticed Dumbledore was on the other side of Moody.
" Hello Alastor, Ms. Meadowes" Dumbledore said quietly.
" Hello Professor" she said with a smile.
" I see you followed my advice and brought an auror" Dumbledore said to Moody.
" I think it'll be good for her to see this" Moody said quickly.
" See what?" she asked.
Moody turned to face her quickly, " How effortlessly Death Eaters will deny what they are"
Doe wanted to ask what he meant by it, but she didn't have time. The door to the courtrooms opened and in strode Lucius Malfoy.
" Aw, Mr. Malfoy" the minister said, " thank you for coming, please have a seat"
Lucius looked at the chair with the chains with a look of pure loathing and sat down quickly.
" I assume you know why you are here?" the minister asked.
" To make it clear to the entire wizarding community that any accusations against me are completely unfounded" Lucius said proudly, " and to deny any involvement with these proclaimed Death Eaters"
" Bloody lying piece of scum" Moody said under his breath.
" Well let us begin then" the minister said looking to Lucius, " Are you Lucius Malfoy involved in anyway with You-Know-Who or any of his supporters?"
" No" Lucius said quickly.
" And do you have any knowledge about the whereabouts of any of these supporters or You-Know-Who himself?" the minister asked.
" No, I do not" Lucius said firmly.
" And are you Lucius Malfoy, branded with the Dark Mark?" the minister asked.
" No, I am not" Lucius repeated.
" Do you know of the identities of any Death Eaters?" the minister pressed on.
Lucius simply shook his head.
" Thank you for coming" the minister said quickly, " please send in the next person".
Lucius got up from the courtroom quickly and left.
Doe turned to Moody enraged, " Thats it?" she asked, " a few questions? No veritaserum? They didn't even check for the Dark Mark!"
" It's preliminary" Moody told her, " Even the minister doesn't think that individuals you saw are involved"
Doe crossed her arms, " So what does he think? Sirius and I made it up?"
Moody turned to her, " The individuals you named come from very prominent families, to accuse them is to alienate big supporters of the ministry, and they don't want to do that, so they're ignoring the information"
Doe pursed her lips, " We risked our necks to get them that information and they choose to ignore it?"
" You would be surprised how often it occurs, Ms. Meadowes" Dumbledore chimed in from beside Moody.
Dpe sat with Moody and Dumbledore for the next few interrogations. They were all the same. They asked the exact same questions as they had asked Lucius.
None of the suspected answered yes to any of the questions. It didn't surprise her. Death Eaters weren't going to just admit what they were.
It seemed as though the minister didn't even want to catch them.
When the interrogations were over, Doe grumpily followed Moody back to the office.
" Now you see why the Order is so important" Moody whispered to me as they opened the auror office doors.
Doe nodded, " We're the only ones that are doing anything"
Moody nodded curtly.
" The war will never end like that" Doe said shaking her head, " we need real evidence of their identities"
" That's what we're trying to do, Meadowes" Moody said, " and if you have any other ideas other than yanking up the left sleeves of the suspected feel free to let me know"
He stomped off towards his office without another word.
Doe sat down in her cubicle and looked at the stack of death reports that had been left there.
" How was the dungeons with Moody?" Sirius asked, rolling his chair into her cubicle.
" Irritating" Doe said flipping through the reports in front of her.
Doe explained what had happened in the courtrooms to Sirius.
" Are you kidding me?" Sirius asked, " what's the point of getting the information if they won't even bloody use it?"
" I know" Doe said shaking her head, " It's ridiculous, but it helps the Order"
Sirius sighed, " At this rate, Voldemort will never be stopped"
Doe leaned back thinking how very right Sirius was.