Personally:
The death toll at the hands of Death Eater's was rising faster than either the ministry or the Order could contain it. It had left most of the wizarding world in fear that they were going to be murdered in their beds. It was the kind of paralyzing fear that left most of the wizarding establishments around London empty. Doe had to admit it even had her slightly terrified. So many people had gone missing and turned up dead. She constantly had nightmares of finding the Dark Mark hovering over her apartment or Sirius, or Lily & James house. It was her worst fear.
Everyone who was an outspoken target had become very nervous. Lily and James were putting on a brave face but it was evident that they were scared, and despite Sirius' mask of bravado, even he looked nervous sometimes. Remus was the only one who never let Doe see his fear. It was like he purposefully tried to make sure she never saw him scared.
Doe knew he was doing it so that she always felt safe, but it only made her more nervous. Every time she saw another disappearance or death all she could think about was what Snape had told her.
Voldemort and his supporters were killing and capturing everyone they thought to be a threat, and while she was grateful she wasn't a part of that list, it also confused her.
Maybe Snape had exaggerated how important she was to Voldemort. She hoped so. It would make her life easier, but there was no way to know.
The disappearances had worried everyone so much that Moody had approached about Sirius about Andromeda and Ted being possible victims.
Andromeda was a previous Slytherin and part of a pureblood elitist family who had become one of the biggest blood traitors by marrying a muggle born and having a child.
She was the only family Sirius had and Moody thought it would be a good idea to ensure her safety, so he was sending Sirius on a three day mission to create the fidelus charm and hide her and her family. The only reason that Andy had agreed was for her daughter Dora. She didn't want to them to get hurt because she didn't listen.
Sirius would be their secret keeper and because he cared about her so much he didn't even question the idea of going.
" Please, be careful" Doe told Sirius at his apartment the night he was leaving. She had come home with him after work to help him pack what he needed and it dawned on her then that he could get hurt.
" Stop worrying, beautiful. I'm going to be fine" Sirius said rolling his eyes.
" I don't like that you're going alone" she said crossing her arms. Since becoming aurors Sirius and Doe had done almost everything together, and it felt unsettling to send him off alone.
" I have to go alone" Sirius said shoving a tshirt into the duffle bag in front of him.
Shaking her head, she took it out and replaced it with a long sleeved, thicker one from his chest of drawers, " It's cold there" she reminded him.
Sirius smiled, " Thanks, Doe"
Doe nodded and handed him a pair of socks to put in the bag.
" I know you have to go," she told him frowning slightly, " but you have to promise me that you're going to be safe. Don't do anything stupid, and don't die"
Sirius laughed, " I'll do my best"
She crossed her arms angrily, " That's not even funny, I'm serious"
Sirius grinned, " Actually, I am."
Doe rolled her eyes at the familiar joke, but bit her lip, still worrying.
" Promise me, Siri" I said firmly.
Sirius laughed and pulled her into a hug, " I'm going to be fine,"
"You better" she told him sternly.
Sirius laughed, " Come on"
He grabbed his bag and they walked out of his room and into the living room. She followed him to the door.
" I'll see you in three days, Meadowes" Sirius said as she opened the door.
" See you then, Black" Doe told him, hugging him one more time before she disapparated.
She went back to her flat. Remus was already in bed when she got there. He was reading, but he looked up at her and smiled.
" Hello, love" he said leaning up to kiss her, while she curled up next to him under the covers.
" Hi" she said burying her head against his chest. Remus wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
" Did you help Sirius pack, then?" Remus asked.
Doe nodded and laughed slightly, " He's rubbish at it, he tried to pack for a summer vacation instead of November"
Remus laughed, " Sirius doesn't have the best foresight"
She nodded and watched as he turned the page in his book.
he turned it so that she could see the cover. It was House Elves & Self Hatred.
" Are you thinking of getting one or granting one's freedom?" she asked him curiously.
Remus laughed, " Neither, I just wanted to find out a little more about it"
" I can understand that" she said.
" It's just the way they're treated" Remus said, " the subjugation is kind of similar to werewolves"
Doe looked up at him and smiled, " Well I happen to love my werewolf"
Remus bent his face down and kissed her, " Good, because you're going to be Mrs. Werewolf pretty soon"
Doe smiled, " Nothing would make me happier"
Remus laughed and kissed the top of her head, pulling her closer to him.
Doe fell asleep that night in his arms, completely contented. And it was the first night in weeks that she didn't have nightmares.
Work was very boring over the next two days. She didn't realize quite how much time she spent with Sirius, until he wasn't there.
Moody had given her a series of odd jobs that didn't require her to leave the office at all. The furthest she had been from her cubicle in the last two days was to the Department of Mysteries to drop off a notice. And even then, Moody had had a Senior auror come with her. A man in his mid thirties names Dawlish, who spent the entire trip down asking her how it felt to be attacked by Death Eaters. His questioning was so annoying that when she got back to the office, she told Moody if he ever assigned her a babysitter again, She'd resign.
So after that, She spent all of her time in the confines of her cubicle pouring over reports, hoping everything was going okay with Sirius' mission. She didn't do well being cooped up and alone.
So on the morning of the day Sirius was supposed to return, She was in a much better mood. He wouldn't be getting back until later tonight, but at least today would be the last day she had to sort through papers in the office.
She had decided to get up early this morning and make Remus breakfast before she went to work. She had made pancakes and tea and set them all up on the table.
When Remus finally came out of their bedroom, still in his pajamas, he looked confused.
" Good morning" he said groggily, pulling her to him and kissing her.
" Morning" she told him waving her wand and silencing the shrilling teapot.
" Whats with the special treatment?" Remus asked.
" I just love you" she told him, " and I got up early"
Remus smiled while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
They sat down at the table at ate breakfast together, discussing their plans for today.
Doe was already dressed so she slipped her wand in her pocket and turned to Remus.
" I'm going to go, I don't want to be late" she told him.
Remus frowned, " I hate watching you leave"
" I'll be home tonight" she told him wrapping her arms around his neck.
Remus' hands were on his hips.
" I love you so much, Doe" Remus said holding her tightly,
" I love you too, Rem" she told him kissing him goodbye once more apparating to the street entrance to the ministry.
It was bitter outside today. She wrapped her auror robes tight around her as the frigid wind whipped by her face.
It was early November, it made sense that it was getting cold. Doe blinked thinking how strange it was that it was November again. Her birthday was coming up soon. It was hard to believe that she would be twenty, and her teenage years would be over.
She walked into the ministry grateful for the warmth that it provided.
She walked into the auror office and sat down in her chair. She felt like she was becoming permanently fused to it.
Moody greeted her with a nonchalant gesture as he walked by and headed to his office.
Doe spent most of the day buried in Bellatrix's family photos. It was strange how attractive the entire family was. It seemed looks were almost as important to them as blood status. Even the family that Bellatrix had managed to marry into was attractive.
As much as she hated both Rodolphus and Rabastan, she couldn't deny that they were both very handsome.
" Looking at their faces for too long may make you feel sympathy towards them" Sarah said lingering at the opening of the cubicle.
" It actually just fuels my disgust" she told her.
She laughed, " I feel you there"
Sarah had been in training with her, and she was nice enough but she always seemed a little floaty to her. She specialized in a different area of the office, she didn't work with Death Eaters, so Doe didn't see her often.
She turned to the empty desk where Sirius usually sat, " I miss seeing him around here, he's quite nice to look at"
Doe looked at her very confused, wondering why all of a sudden she was interested in girl talk, but she had just shrugged her shoulders and walked off.
She turned back to the photo album on her desk.
" Meadowes" Moody said coming over to her desk.
" Whats wrong?" she asked quickly.
" Come to my office" He said quickly and she followed him without asking questions. Moody's walk was kind of frantic and he assured her into his office.
Sitting in one of the armchairs looking terrified, was Peter.
" What's going on?" Doe demanded.
Moody ran his hand over his mouth and sighed, " Tell her what you told me, Pettigrew"
Peter hiccupped nervously, " I was in Diagon Alley and I overheard these cloaked people. They were Death Eaters, I'm sure of it. I could tell from the way they talked-"
" Out with it" Moody said roughly.
Peter flinched nervously, " and they said they had Sirius"
" What?" Doe asked loudly, " what do you mean?"
Peter bit his nail, " They said Bellatrix was going to be rewarded for capturing him, they said they brought him to Malfoy Manor, and they were going to torture him to find out where Lily and James where"
Peter burst into sobs. Doe couldn't believe what she had heard. They had Sirius, they were going to torture him. Her mind was racing as she tried to come up with plans to save him. Nothing was sounding good besides just bursting in there with her wand drawn.
She turned on her heels and went to leave the door. Moody grabbed her by the arm, his grip was tight.
" Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.
" To save Sirius" Doe demanded.
Moody shook his head furiously, " No, we have to wait. We need to gather other Order members. We need a plan"
" He's being tortured!" she demanded, " I'm going, you can organize all of that after I've gone!"
" You're not going!" Moody demanded.
" I have too" Doe said to him. She practically screamed at him.
" You know he would go if it were me" Doe said sternly. Moody looked conflicted.
He turned to Peter, " Go, alert the rest of the Order" he ordered.
Peter nodded and left the room quickly. Leaving Moody and Doe alone.
" I'm going, Moody" Doe told him, " fire me if you have too, but I'm going to save him"
Moody shook his head, " I'm not firing you"
She looked at him still gripping her wand.
He took a deep breath, " Go, save Sirius. I'll gather the order and meet you there"
" Thank you" she told him and fled from the room.
She ran at the elevators and shoved all of the buttons until the elevator opened at the atrium.
She was frantic. She couldn't even think straight. Somewhere right now, Sirius was being tortured.
Doe ran through the atrium pushing past people and knocking some of them over. She couldn't stop she ran straight into the fireplace and apparated.
She had done it so quickly that when she landed, she slammed into the street with full force, her knees digging into the gravel.
Towering in front of her, was Malfoy Manor. All you could see from the street was a high iron gate with a large embossed M. The rest of the estate was covered in high hedges. Doe darted out of the street and behind one of them, trying to figure out to get into the house without being seen.
She shuddered thinking that somewhere in there, Bellatrix was taking joy in inflicting pain on her best friend.
She walked along the edge of the bushes trying to come up with a plan to get it, bursting through the front door didn't seem like a good idea.
Doe had been so preoccupied with getting in, she hadn't noticed that someone wasn't inside the walls, but outside of them.
" Meven! Stupefy!"
The figure had stunned her instantly. And she fell to the ground at their masked feet.
The first thing she felt was dirt. Before she even opened her eyes was that wherever she was, it was dirty. She felt the dirt encrusted along the floorboards. When she did open her eyes, she realized what had happened, and she felt an overwhelming amount of shame. She was supposed to be an auror. How had she let myself get stunned again. The room was slightly fuzzy, but as it cleared up, she realized she was in a small abandoned house. It reminded her a lot of Headquarters, except it looked just like an abandoned house on the inside. She tried to move and realized that she was bound by the same magical robes as she was last time. She felt a pit in her stomach when she realized why she was here.
The door opened and the Death Eaters walked in. There were only a few this time. She saw Bellatrix, flanked by both Lestrange brothers and Lucius Malfoy. Doe watched as Mulciber and Barty Crouch Jr walked in, and then finally Voldemort walked in.
It was just the inner circle tonight. Only his most trusted supporters.
Doe wanted to close her eyes. She didn't want this to be real.
I heard him laugh. It was cold and malicious. Her eyes shot open.
He was smiling widely, " You know, Dorcas. I had heard you were a clever witch. Now I'm not so sure"
Realization washed over her. This was planned.
" You don't have Sirius" she said firmly.
Voldemort smiled again, " Ah, I see you're finally making sense of this" he said clasping his hands together.
It had been a trap. She felt so stupid.
" You see" Voldemort said, " I knew you would come to the aid of your dear friend Sirius,"
He was pacing in front of her and looked extremely pleased.
" You're kind are all the same," Voldemort said a wide smile on his face, "You are all fools. You're ruled by your love and compassion. It will be the death of you"
Doe ground her teeth together, " Better I feel compassion and love and be fooled by it, then live my life shameful and alone like you" she snapped.
" Crucio!"
His torture curse was extremely powerful. She felt the pain fill every inch of her and she flinched trying to control her screams.
Voldemort leaned down inched from her face, " This is why I'm going to kill you Dorcas, you are foolish and you challenge those who are more powerful than you"
He raised his hand and slapped her full force across the face. Her face started to sting.
Voldemort stood again and started to pace,
" Crucio!"
The pain consumed her again. She was starting to see white around the edges.
" This will be fun" Voldemort said happily, " I want to see how long you last"
"Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!"
Doe couldn't move. She was paralyzed by the pain. Nothing had ever felt worse. It was all she could see and all she could think about. It rippled through every part of her.
Voldemort lowered his wand and clicked his tongue, " Now don't lose yourself yet, I haven't finished playing with you"
Doe was lying on the floor now. Her body was radiating with pain. At least it's me. That was all she could keep thinking. Better her be here, than Sirius.
" Aren't you wondering how you got here?" Voldemort asked, " don't you want to know how the great auror Dorcas was fooled?"
Doe eyed him darkly. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of answering.
Voldemort smiled, and it sent cold shots down her spine.
" You see" Voldemort said walking around me, " You were fooled by none other than the individual who has been leaking all of the information from the Order"
Doe sat up slightly at his words, her curiosity peaked.
Voldemort grinned, " In fact, why don't we have the informant join us now?"
He lifted his wand and the door opened.
The person who was standing behind it cause Doe more pain than the last torture curse.
It was Peter.
He was standing there looking extremely pleased with himself.
" Ah yes, Wormtail join us and see what your efforts have achieved" Voldemort said happily.
Doe was furious. Anger and rage filled every part of her.
" YOU DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR A PERSON" she shouted at Peter. He recoiled at her voice.
" YOU FOUL LOATHSOME SPINELESS GIT!" she screamed. Her voice was echoing off every wall.
" WE WERE YOUR FRIENDS! HOW COULD YOU?-" she shouted but she was cut off by another one of Voldemort's cruciatus curses.
Doe had never been angrier in her entire life. She thought she was going to explode. How could Peter do this? He was their friend. He was supposed to protect them. They trusted him.
She knew she was going to die. She wished desperately that she could tell someone. Someone who could stop this. If she had to die, she wanted someone to know who the traitor among them was. But there was nothing she could do.
" Now, hush Dorcas" Voldemort ordered her, " you don't want to be rude"
Doe was fuming with anger. She wanted to kill him.
" I'm powerful now" Peter said sliding up his sleeve and showing her the Dark Mark.
" You should have died!" she snapped, " anyone of us would have died before we betrayed you"
" That's where you and wormtail are different" Voldemort pointed out, " like me, he knows power is the most important thing"
" That's where you're wrong" Doe told him, looking him straight in the eye.
She was feeling extremely brave. She wanted him to know everything she thought of him. He was going to kill her anyway. She wasn't getting out of it this time.
" You are going to lose because you don't know what's really important" she told him, " Love, compassion that's what's truly important"
She tried to think of all the people who she loved.
She thought of James and Lily, and baby Harry. She thought of Sirius. And she thought of Remus. She felt a lurch in her stomach. She loved them all.
" Oh is it?" Voldemort asked coldly.
She nodded bravely, adrenaline pulsing through her, " You'll never know those things. And that's why you're going to lose, Voldemort. Because, You. Are. Weak"
Doe watched Voldemort's face contort with anger. He raised his wand and pointed it at her.
Doe looked straight into his red eyes as he did it. She hoped he knew how much she meant what she had said.
She thought of everyone she loved. Letting herself miss them for a fraction of a second. She hoped they would be okay.
" AVADA KEDAVRA!"
She saw the green light before she felt it. She expected more. She thought it would hurt. She thought she would see her whole life flash before her eyes. But she didn't.
She just felt her eyes slip closed, and death welcomed her.