Can't thank Lauren enough for being the most awesome beta the world has ever known. I can't thank you enough for being the most awesome readers and reviewers. Here's a new chapter for you, I hope you enjoy it.
Someone like you
Chapter 15
'Be my bad boy, be my man'
"Daddy, I see boobies."
Damon shook his head as he noticed Liam stand in front of a room where a mother was breastfeeding her newborn. He felt the stab in his heart as he watched the new mother sing to the baby in her arms, his mind already picturing Elena like that. He had to turn his eyes away from the sight when he realized that she not only had that once, but almost twice.
"Come on, detective Boobie." He picked Liam up from the ground and carried him in his arms. "There's nothing special about boobs, believe me."
"What is wrong with you?" Liam arched his eyebrow at him and placed his small hand on his forehead. "Are you sick?"
"No." He pulled his head away from Liam's hand. "I'm just saying that if you want to talk like a grownup, then you should know breasts aren't that impressive as some men make them out to be."
"Are you mad at me?" His son's big blue eyes became duller as he stared at him. "I won't talk about boobies anymore, I'm sorry Daddy."
"I'm not mad at you, Liam." Damon squeezed his waist and tapped his nose. "I just have a lot of things on my mind, I shouldn't have said that."
"You didn't say anything during breakfast." Liam wrapped his arms around his neck. "Are you sad?"
"Nothing that a hug from my favorite five-year-old can't solve."
"Is that me?" Liam pointed to himself, a grin spreading across his face, his blue eyes shimmering. "You're lucky I'm one of the best huggers in town."
Damon chuckled while Liam wrapped his small arms back around his neck and squeezed him tightly, his face resting in the crook of his neck. For someone who had never wanted to be a father, it was a weird feeling to want to hold your child at all times, to make sure he was safe and protected in your arms, shielded from the bad world. He never had an example of a father that loved his child, he had no one to show him how to love your kid the right way, so whenever he had to step up like a father and act like one, he couldn't help but to wonder if he did it like he was supposed to.
"Mommy is standing up again." Liam pulled his head back, looking at Elena and Grayson who walked in front of them. "She's a tough bitch."
"Watch your language, mister." Damon glared at him, shaking his head in disapproval. "But you're right, your mommy is a strong woman."
"When is she coming home?"
"She has to stay in the hospital for a couple more days." His gaze switched between Liam's wondering eyes and Elena's back. "But I'll stay with you until your mommy comes home, how does that sound?"
"Can we watch porn?"
"No."
"You're not as cool as I thought."
"Let's go find your mommy." Damon rolled his eyes at him. "I have to talk to her before I take you home."
"Are you sure you'll be okay with him?"
"We'll be fine."
His blue eyes followed her as she walked around the room, stronger than she had been less than twenty-four hours ago. Her silky brown hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, her brown doe eyes searching the room, her tiny body always moving to the small suitcase on the bed.
"Bedtime is at eight, he has to go back to school next week and I want him back in the routine." She zipped the suitcase up and pointed her brown eyes back at him. "Make sure he brushes his teeth, eats his breakfast and dinner and don't give him any soda after six or you'll never be able to get him to sleep."
"Okay." Damon moved forward and grabbed the suitcase from the bed. "Anything else I should know?"
"Caroline told me he's been having nightmares since the accident," She bit her lip and shook her head sadly. "Usually when he has a nightmare I sleep with him or I let him sleep between Stefan and me, but I don't know how bad it is now."
"I'll find a way to deal with it."
He noticed her brown eyes lock onto his, filled with worry. It was hard for him to look at her; she was still that innocent girl in his eyes, the twenty-year-old he had come to know and love. But she was a mother now, she carried the biggest responsibility anyone could carry, she became the mother of his son, the woman he'd be forever bound to. It tortured him to know she almost bound herself to someone else in the same way.
"Is everything okay?" Her big brown eyes searched his face. "You were quiet during breakfast."
"I'm fine."
"Damon." She grabbed his arm as he was about to turn away. "You're not. Just tell me what's going on."
"We were always honest with each other, right?"
"I like to think so." She bit her lip, lifting her shoulders. "But we both know that it wasn't alwa..."
"But besides that." His blue eyes snapped back to hers. "We told each other everything, right?"
"Yeah, we did."
"Then why didn't I know about the miscarriage?"
He watched her eyes widen, her lips parting in a small O, the color draining from her face. She used to tell him everything, every little red spot on her body, every blank spot in her mind; he knew it all. He thought it'd be something that would never change, that even if there was five years between their reunion, she would still be an open book to him, her mind, memories and thoughts would still be there for him to read.
"It was two years ago." She stumbled backwards to the bed and sat down on it. "You weren't here."
"But why haven't you told me?" He arched his eyebrow at her. "I've been here for almost two months, we've talked about everything that happened the past five years."
"It's not something you share over cookies and coffee." She looked down in her lap, taking a deep breath. "I'm not ready to talk about it."
"Was it Stefan's?"
"Does it matter?" Her hard eyes snapped to his. "That baby is gone, I lost it."
"What happened?"
"One day I was pregnant, the next I wasn't." She swallowed back the lump in her throat, her breathing shaky. "There wasn't a reason or something that caused it, I just had a miscarriage."
"How far along were you?"
"I was almost in my second trimester." She shrugged as he sat down next to her. "I wanted to keep it quiet until I was three months but of course Stefan was so excited that he told everyone."
"So when you lost the baby, everyone was fussing about it?"
She nodded slowly, her lips moving up in a small smile. He had always known what she wanted and didn't want. When she was in pain, she couldn't stand a whole crowd of people around her; she needed space, a lot of it. It was something he always managed to give her, he knew when he shouldn't be around and she appreciated him for it, they understood each other on a level no one would ever get.
"I was in the hospital and I never got any time for myself." She let out a shaky breath, her eyes filling up. "Stefan was always there, holding my hand and telling me we could try again, he tried to reassure me but I just wanted..."
"You just wanted to go home and curl up on the couch with a bowl of cereals." He smiled softly, tugging a strand of hair back behind her ear. "I know."
"I just wanted you." She whispered softly, her teary eyes looking up at him. "I just wanted to be on that comfy couch of yours in Chicago in your arms, I'd have your arms around me and I would be okay."
"Did you even want that baby?" He stroked her cheek, his thumb rubbing circles. "You never wanted to be a mom before you turned twenty-five."
"I had Liam before I was twenty-five." She smiled softly, resting her cheek against his palm. "And he was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"That was different." His blue eyes bored into her brown ones. "Liam was an accident, he was a good accident but we didn't plan on him."
"Stefan and I didn't plan on that baby either." She looked away from him, biting her lip. "I didn't want another child, but then I got pregnant and Stefan was so happy about it, happier than I had seen him in years. I couldn't take that from him after everything he did for me."
"So you gave him what you took from him the day you left him." He shook his head sadly. "He always wanted kids, from the moment you two got married."
"I took that from him too." Her eyes teared up again, her voice shaky. "I could carry your baby but I lost his."
"You feel guilty."
"Don't you understand?" She clenched her teeth. "When I was pregnant with Liam I walked on roses, I can count the times I suffered from morning sickness on one hand. With Stefan's baby I was sick all day, I couldn't take care of Liam because I had no energy. I couldn't even take him to school, everything about that baby felt wrong so in my mind I started thinking the same thing."
"It's not your fault, Elena." He placed his hand on her shoulder. "A lot of women have miscarriages."
"But does it take them two years to get pregnant again?" Her voice pitched, her eyes looking for his. "We've been trying for the past two years and I can't get pregnant, we even visited two specialists, they say there's nothing wrong with neither of us."
"It happens, Elena."
"It bothers you doesn't it?" She noticed the way his head hung low. "It bothers you that I tried to move on."
"It bothers me that you tried to move on but still wanted me there." He shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together. "You can't tell me that you wanted to be on my couch, in my arms after you had a miscarriage from your husband."
"You have a very comfy couch."
"You have a very comfy couch."
He rolled his eyes as he watched his friend since childhood plop down on his big leather couch. His mother watched with hawk eyes as he spilled some of the champagne he was holding on the carpet.
"You'd think the hangover from New Year's Eve would scare him away from the alcohol." His mother came to stand next to him and took a towel in her hands.
"You should know by now that nothing scares Ric away from alcohol." He chuckled softly and rolled his blue eyes. "That's exactly why we always have New Year's dinner two days after New Year, so he can sober up."
"I invented that rule for you, you know?" Lauren glared at him, smacking his arm. "You were always so hungover that we had to have dinner without you."
"Did I ever tell you that you're the best mom a hungover guy could ask for?"
"You might have mentioned that before, but it's always nice to hear it again."
She chuckled as he pecked her cheek and got some foam on her nose, her blue eyes lit up as she swatted him and removed the foam off her face. He couldn't help but to laugh at the pout that appeared on her face. His mother was the type that still felt as young as the day she turned sixteen, she said it was the only way to keep up with him. And in some way she had always stayed on the same line with him, he didn't rebel in his teen years because he didn't have a strict parent to rebel against, instead he got the most understanding and loving mother any guy could ask for.
"That's probably Christine." Lauren turned around to the hallway as she heard the doorbell. "Alaric, make yourself useful and let the lady in."
"Yes, Madame."
Alaric got up from the couch and ran into the hallway. He opened the door and shook his head as he found a young girl waiting on the other side. Her brown hair draped around her face as a curtain, her brown doe eyes staring at him like he was a Christmas present. Over her shoulder hung a brown bag, her pink lips parted as she stared at him in wonder.
"I'm pretty hungover." Alaric leaned against the door, his arms crossed over his chest. "But I'm sure you're not Christine."
"I'm sorry, I must have the wrong apartment." She looked down on the small white paper in her hand and bit her lip. "I'm looking for Damon Salvatore."
"He knocked you up, didn't he?" Alaric sighed desperately. "The boy will never learn."
"Excuse me?" Her voice pitched, her eyes looking frantically around her. "My name is Elena Gilbert, I used to work with Damon on the case in Mystic Falls."
"I'm just messing with you." Alaric rolled his caramel eyes at her. "Come on in, Damon and Lauren are in the kitchen."
She eyed him suspiciously as he moved out of the way to let her in. She stood in the middle of the hallway, waiting for him to point her in the right direction. Her eyes detected the white walls, white ceilings and black floors, everything in a modern design. Alaric walked past her again and motioned for her to follow; she adjusted her bag on her shoulder and quietly walked after him.
"Christine's looking good today."
She turned around the corner and let her eyes linger over the spacious white loft, design furniture everywhere, a modern oak kitchen in the back but still the center of the whole room. She smiled as she saw Damon work on the stove, his back towards her, a chubby brunette in the beginning of her fifties watching him.
Her heart started beating louder in her chest, her eyes lingering on the muscles in his body. She celebrated New Year's Eve with her parents and friends, only to realize at midnight that there was someone missing, that there was someone she wanted to take in her arms and start the new year with. It only became clear to her what the nagging feeling in her chest was when she saw Caroline and Tyler look at each other, a look of complete devotion across their faces, their eyes locked and staring at each other, utterly in love.
"Hi Chris - " Damon's blue eyes locked on hers, his lips parting slightly as he noticed her standing in the middle of his living room. "Elena."
"Hi."
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry for barging in..." She looked around and noticed Alaric and his mother staring at them with curious gazes. "You're right, I shouldn't be here, you have a dinner party and I just walked in here uninvited, I'm sorry for interrupting."
She turned on her heels and started walking back to the hallway, her eyes filling up with tears. She almost got to the front door when a strong hand closed around her arm and pulled her back, his body trapping hers, her back pressed against the wall. She looked up to find those ocean blue eyes staring at her, shimmering down in her brown ones. He looked at her for five seconds before his lips crashed down on hers, hungry, desperately, possessively moving over her mouth. She let her bag drop to the ground and buried her hands in his hair, pulling him as close as physically possible. He picked her up from the floor so she could wrap her legs around his waist and hold him firmer against her own body.
"I missed you." She whispered between kisses, her shaky breath making her voice tremble. "So much."
"I can't believe you're here." He rested his forehead against hers, his hand cupping her cheek. "Why are you here?"
"Because two weeks is too long."
"I've only been away for four days."
"And I was miserable." A pout appeared on her face. "I don't want to feel like that for another ten days."
"How long can you stay?" His blue eyes searched her face, his lips pressing against hers. "Won't Stefan suspect something?"
"I told him I had to be in Washington for a case I'm working on." She tangled her fingers in his black raven hair. "So if you're okay with it then I'm staying for a week."
"I'm more than okay with it."
"Damon Liam Salvatore." Lauren's voice echoed through the loft. "Dump the girl or bring her here, the food is going to burn."
"Maybe you should feed her before you introduce me to her." She chuckled softly against his lips. "She sounds hungry."
"Don't worry." He tapped her nose, smirking. "She's a vegetarian."
"What if she doesn't like me?"
"Have you ever met someone who doesn't like you?" He put his finger on her mouth as she was about to speak. "Besides Giuseppe."
"That's not fair." She punched his chest, chuckling. "He was going to be my argument."
"Well, then now your argument's invalid." He took her hand in his squeezed it softly. "Come on, meet the people I call my loved ones."
She smiled at him and started walking after him, bumping into him when he suddenly turned around and focused his blue eyes on hers again. She looked up at him with a confused expression and watched him as he lowered his head to hers and claimed her lips once again, this time softly, tasting the inside of her mouth.
"You're mine, right?" His blue eyes locked on her brown ones. "For this week, you're mine?"
"I'm yours."
She didn't stop him as he took her hand in his and slowly took her wedding ring between his fingers, gently tugging it from her hand. She just watched him and nodded as he put it in his jeans pocket, his eyes staying locked with hers.
"Now you're really mine."
"Come on," She kissed the inside of his palm, smiling at him. "Let's go meet your family."
She followed his lead and walked back into the spacious living room. Her eyes were met with another pair of blue ones, the same kind of blue ones that were plastered in Damon's face. A warm smile spread across the woman's face as she came closer and looked up at Damon.
"Mom." Damon cleared his throat and pointed to Elena. "This is Elena, Elena this is my mother Lauren."
"We talked before on the phone, didn't we?" Lauren wrapped her arms around Elena's shoulders, squeezing her tightly. "How's your husband doing?"
She stiffened in Lauren's embrace, her eyes glancing towards Damon who exchanged a look with Alaric. He smiled softly as his eyes locked back onto hers, an expression filled with sorrow across his face.
"He's doing good." She pulled back from Lauren's embrace and smiled. "He's trying to write his book so I thought I'd visit Damon."
"You must have had a long flight." Lauren glanced to Damon and back to Alaric. "Alaric, give this girl something to drink, Christine should be here any minute."
"She only has to go up the stairs and still she manages to be late." Alaric rolled his eyes, noticing her questioning look. "Christine is Damon's neighbor, her husband died in the war in Iraq. She has a three-month-old to look after, I guess that little monster is making her late again."
Damon watched Elena nod as Alaric started rambling, a warm feeling spreading across his body until his mother latched onto his arm and pulled him into a corner, her blue eyes filled with a fire he knew all too well.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Standing here."
"Don't give me that smartass attitude." Lauren pushed her finger into his chest. "Don't you think I don't see what's going on between the two of you, she's married Damon."
"I know that." His blue eyes went wide. "I practically walked her to the altar, but she's young and I think she's realizing that she made a mistake."
"I can see that she's young." Lauren's eyes scanned over Elena's body. "Is she even old enough to drive?"
"You're exaggerating." He rolled his eyes at her, receiving a glare. "She's more mature than most girls her age."
"Is she allowed to drink?"
"Well..." He smirked dangerously, pouting his lips together. "I'm sure she has a fake ID somewhere."
"Oh god. You've got to be kidding me." Lauren turned away from him, holding the back of her hand against her forehead. "Where's the whiskey?"
"What?"
"What?" His blue eyes snapped to hers. "Don't do this Elena, I'm serious. Not only your feelings are on the line here. Don't turn this into a joke."
"Do you have any idea how confused I am?" She buried her head in her hands, shaking from side to side. "I learned how to accept my life and then you just walk back in here after five years."
"I can't believe this is happening again." He pushed himself up and started pacing through the room. "Where did all my hard work go? Where is the strong Elena that left me five years ago?"
"You don't get it, do you?" She threw her hands up in the air, her eyes wide open. "It's not just about us, it's about Liam and Stefan too. I have a son with him for Christ's sake."
"No." His blue eyes stared at her. "You have a son with me."
"Liam might call you Daddy and use you as his pillow but that doesn't make you his father." She clenched her teeth together, her fists gripping the sheets beneath her. "Stefan raised him, Liam still sees him as his real father."
"Because you didn't give me the chance to be a father." He swallowed back the lump in his throat, blinking his eyes. "You just left and never wrote me or called me to tell me that I had a son."
"You didn't want to be a father, you made that crystal clear from the start." She stood up straight in front of him, her arms flying around the room. "What would you've done if I had told you?"
"I don't know."
"I know what you'd have done." Her eyes welled up with tears again. "You'd have told me to choose. You and an abortion or a baby and no you."
It had been the one thing they never agreed on, she wanted a family with children, he wanted a career. She always thought his career was an excuse, he was scared to turn out like Giuseppe, to hate his child the same way Giuseppe hated him. So when she chose to go with him, she left the dream of a family behind her, with a silent promise to herself that maybe one day he would be ready to be a father, and if that day never came, she'd be fine with it because she had him. But the day she found out she was carrying his child, that dream quickly rose to the surface again, the need to protect that child grew above anything else.
"I chose our baby, Damon."
"You chose our baby but you kept him for yourself." The fire in his blue eyes burned again. "If I hadn't come back, would you have told me about him, would there ever be a time you'd tell me that I'm a father?"
"I don't know, Damon." She buried her hands in her hair, holding it in a knot. "People change, it's been five years, if you're still that man-whore then I don't want you anywhere near him; he needs people around him who are stable, not someone who uses women like toys."
"You really think that's what I've been doing the past five years, isn't it?" He let out a hard laugh, shaking his head. "You think I slept with whole Chicago all over again."
"Didn't you?" Her eyes searched for his, her breathing shaky. "You were single again, you could sleep with anyone you wanted."
"I haven't touched another woman in five years." He grabbed her hand, placing it on the skin in his neck. "You were the last woman that touched me."
The knowledge was enough to make her tear up all over again. Sex had never been the same for her after him, it had been unsatisfying, leaving her always craving for more, but never with her husband, with a man that knew her body better than she did, who had a body that had been made for hers, fitting perfectly in every curve of her. Everything of her had been craving for him, her mind for his presence, her body for his touch, her soul for its half, her heart for its love. She walked out the door and slammed it shut behind her but that didn't mean that she ever really left him. She was still there with him, in the white loft, their home, the place where they had been free, where she still was in her dreams, in the back of her mind, every second of the day.
"Damon."
It was the only thing she could whisper as his blue eyes came closer to hers, his face slowly sinking to hers. Her heart started beating more frantically in her chest, her breathing shaky, her lip quivering against his, their noses touching, their foreheads pressed together. A gasp escaped her once his lips pressed against hers; the feeling of his warm lips still the same after all those years. And as his lips moved over hers, hers fingers tangled in his black raven hair, their bodies pushed against each other to make them one, the memories came back to her, the night she first tasted him like this, the fabric of her white wedding dress floating around them, the images of their children rushing through her mind, the feeling of his skin forever burned on hers.
He pulled the band out of her hair so it cascaded down her back like a brown curtain, his arms wrapped around her back, pressing her breasts into his chest, her mouth claiming his as her own. She still remembered them, how hungry they always were for each other, how no touch was ever enough, how they didn't leave each other's side. Once she had sworn that she would never let anything come between them; that never anyone would take him away from her because she wouldn't survive the separation. A life without him seemed pointless, there was no reason to live it, and the only thing that had gotten her through the last five years was his son in her arms, the child that bound them forever.
"Choose."
He breathed against her lips, her eyes slowly opening, finding his blue eyes staring into hers, shimmering, burning like she remembered them. His black raven hair was tousled, messy from her fingers that had weaved their path through it. He untangled their bodies and slowly pulled away, leaving a kiss on her forehead, ignoring her big brown eyes that were staring at him, her parted lips waiting until her voice could produce a sound.
"It's me or him."
He pulled away from her touch, letting her arms fall limp beside her, her skin tingling in anticipation, her body wanting more. She watched him as he grabbed his jacket from the chair and the suitcase from the bed, not even looking at her while he pulled the door open and strode through it. Just like she had done five years ago.
"I'm winning."
"You little troll." Damon opened the backside of the controller. "I invented that trick."
"Uncle Ty never notices it." Liam looked up at him with his big blue eyes. "He thinks I'm better than him, which I am, but it's easier to win without the batteries."
"I believe it is."
Damon rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch behind them, turning the sound of the roaming engines on the television down. His eyes followed Liam as he went over to the coffee table and grabbed the coke; he chuckled as Liam started shuffling towards him with the cup and coke in his arms. Damon reached for the bottle and took it out of his arms. He opened it and was met with a fountain of the sticky soda, the coke spilling on him and Liam.
"My cup would have been better." Liam held his arms up, looking over his coke-stained shirt. "Now I'm all sticky."
"You need a shower anyway."
He got up, scooping Liam up from the ground and into his arms. He walked up the stairs and into the bathroom, putting Liam down in front of the shower. He turned the shower on and searched for towels in the cabinet, turning around to Liam's questioning gaze.
"What's wrong?" Damon eyed him suspiciously. "Get out of those clothes."
"Are you coming with me into the shower?" Liam looked up at him, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "Because Daddy never showers with me."
"If you don't want me to shower with you then I'll wait until you're done."
"I don't mind." He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the side. "But Daddy says I can't shower with him because he's big and I'm small."
"Your mom once told me that Stefan isn't that big." Damon rolled his eyes, smirking dangerously. "You don't have to believe everything he says."
"So I can still shower with Mommy?" His hopeful voice made Damon smile. "Because she doesn't mind but Daddy doesn't want me to go in the shower with her because I'm a boy."
"I think everyone has to decide that for their own." He crouched down in front of Liam, ruffling his hair. "But one day, if you're lucky enough, you'll have a body like mine and when you get older, a lot of things are going to change, so when you have questions or you just want to talk about it, then I don't want you to think that it's wrong because it's not."
"So I won't stay chubby like this?"
"Who calls you chubby?"
"Auntie Care." His face lit up with a grin. "She says it's cute."
"Of course she does." Damon rolled his eyes, shaking his head in amusement. "But you won't be this small chubby thing forever, you'll grow up and become a man and that's something you shouldn't be ashamed of."
"But I'll still be little for a few years, right?" His blue eyes searched Damon's face. "Because I like being little."
"I think you'll be fine for a couple more years." Damon chuckled softly and pushed the glass shower doors open. "Go in, I'll be right behind you."
Liam hopped into the shower while he stood up and started discarding his clothes, leaving them next to Liam's. He grabbed the shampoo from the shelf and pushed the doors open, finding Liam sitting on the ground with his hair covered in foam.
"What happened to you?"
"Auntie Caroline made me go to the gym with her yesterday." His pink lips formed a pout. "My legs feel like jelly."
"My legs feel like jelly."
"That means I did a good job."
"Make sure you're up for the great finale."
"Little Damon's always up for it."
"I think little Damon suffers from ADHD."
She moaned as he left a trail of kisses from her shoulder over her neck to her ear, her skin tingling under his soft lips and warm breath. He nibbled gently on her earlobe while his finger kept gently thrusting inside of her, inch for inch squirming further into her.
"I wish my finger suffered from ADHD." He chuckled against her lips, placing a kiss on them. "He's sore from being in your ass for the last fifteen minutes."
"Use more lube." She stroked his messy black hair, kissing his forehead. "Where's the vibrator?"
"I must say I was pleasantly surprised when you told me about your anal fantasy." He waggled his eyebrows at her, adding more lube on her body. "Not that you hear me complaining."
"It was as much as a surprise to me that you had never done this before either." She moaned as he put his finger back inside of her. "With your reputation as a man-whore and all..."
"Why is the vibrator blue?" He arched his eyebrow at the blue object in his hand. "I took you for the pink kind of girl."
"I just bought it a few months ago, okay?" She shrugged indifferently, punching his chest. "Believe it or not but I'm incredibly horny when you're not around."
"Isn't that why you have a husband?" He hovered above her, nibbling on her bottom lip. "To keep you busy when I'm not there?"
She turned her head away from him, turning away from his mouth that was claiming hers. The guilt rushing through her with the speed of a bazooka. She felt things for this man that she had never felt before, that her husband couldn't make her feel, but that didn't mean that she wasn't still bound to somebody else, that her heart wasn't supposed to feel this way towards a man that was not her husband.
"I bought a blue one because it makes me think of you, okay?" She swallowed back the lump in her throat, her eyes hardening. "I have a vibrator that makes me think of you and I have a bunch of pictures of you on my phone, does that make you happy?"
"Hey." He stroked her hair back, his blue eyes boring into hers. "I'm glad you're here."
"I'm glad I'm here."
She tugged him down and kissed him softly, feeling the tip of the vibrator push against her opening. She gasped into his mouth as he slowly let it slip inside, waiting for her muscles to relax around the first inch of the object.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." She let her hands travel over his back, feeling his muscles beneath her palms. "It only hurts a bit."
"Just relax." He took her lips between his and pushed a bit further into her, making her moan. "Good girl."
"Oh god."
"Is that a good oh god or a bad oh god?"
"Good." She breathed against his lips, reaching up to kiss him. "Keep going."
Her eyes rolled back in her head as he closed his mouth around her clit and started sucking, his lips making plopping sounds against her swollen button. She buried her fingers into his hair as he kept thrusting the vibrator into her tiny hole, making it large enough for his throbbing member.
"God." Her back arched, her fingers clawing his hair. "I want you inside of me."
He smiled smugly and sucked one last time on her clit before pecking a trail over her stomach, gently biting her nipple with his white teeth and licking his way up to her neck, his warm breath making shivers run down her spine.
He sat up straight, lifting her legs over his shoulders, pulling her hips closer to him, the vibrator long forgotten. Their eyes locked as he settled himself in front of her opening, his blue eyes searching for the silent agreement.
"Just relax."
"I trust you."
Her brown eyes bored into his blue ones as she spoke the words, her hand searching for his, squeezing it tightly as a reassurance. He smiled softly and gently pushed the tip of his hard member against her ass, slipping inside of her at a painfully slow pace. She gasped as the tip of him entered her, the pain quickly forgotten when he started rubbing her clit, making quick circles with his thumb.
Sex for them wasn't just the physical part; it was sharing each other's bodies and pleasing the other until they were completely satisfied in mind and in body. She wanted him like this every minute of the day, naked on top of her, inside of her, so she could claim him as hers for those minutes she got him like that, so she got to claim him in a way that other people couldn't. In the back of her mind she figured it was the same for him, he wanted her to be his, to claim her in a way Stefan had lost her a long time ago.
"You okay?" He leaned forward, slipping slowly further inside of her. "Tell me to stop when it hurts."
"I'm fine." She bit her lip, staring into his blue eyes. "How does it feel for you?"
"Tight and warm." He got a thoughtful expression on his face, pouting his lips. "Like a vacuum."
"A vacuum?"
"Don't ask." He rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. "I was twelve and experimenting, no judging."
"Don't make me laugh." She punched his chest, flinching. "It hurts."
"I didn't tell you to laugh." He pecked her cheek, chuckling softly against her skin. "I was just sharing my secrets with you."
"Since we're sharing..." She smiled smugly, rubbing his back. "Tell me about your first time."
"My first time was with the high school slut." He placed kisses on her cheek, making her moan. "Her name was Katherine Pierce and she was in the same class as me."
"Did you like her?"
"No but she had a thing for me." He smirked devilishly, his blue eyes shimmering. "She was easy and I was horny, it was a perfect match."
"So you just used her for sex?" She shook her head at him, grabbing his waist. "Didn't she deserve a bit more respect?"
"We dated for a while." He leaned on his elbow, looking up at her. "And then we became a bit more."
"How did that turn out?"
"Let's just say that she was the biggest mistake of my life." He swallowed back the lump in his throat, kissing her cheek. "I had to meet you to realize I never loved her."
"Damon..."
"I know." He pushed himself back up, placing her legs back on his shoulders. "You're married and I can't say things like that."
She looked up at him, her eyes reflecting the same pain as his, the heartbreak lingering under the surface, the need and want to be with each other all day long. It was something that had become more clear to her once he left to spend New Year with his mother, she couldn't miss him, the thought of him being away from her made her cringe, that's why she came after him, to hold him in her arms and wake up next to him every morning. And now she was here in the cold Chicago with him, kept warm by his body, it became all the more clear to her that she didn't want to leave the white loft, that it had become a home to her that was filled with so many more emotions than the home she shared with her husband. And if she was honest with herself, she never wanted to go back to the place where she wore a ring around her finger.
She clung to him as he started thrusting, making her long fantasized naughty dream come true. She dug her nails into his shoulders as he drove them to the edge, his thumb rubbing her clit fiercely. It was something she didn't dare to tell Stefan about, the fantasies that went through her mind, the things she wanted to try with their bodies melting together, and with that same thought, she realized that she never wanted to share them with him, that she didn't trust him enough with her body to let him use it like this.
"Damon." His name rolled off her lips. "I'm almost there."
Her world shattered into a million pieces as she fell over the edge and dragged him with her, their bodies falling against the white sheets, her legs still secured around him. He removed the condom from his member and threw it in the waste bin next to the bed, his breathing shaky, his tired eyes staring at her.
"It's the same for me." She stroked his messy hair back, kissing his forehead. "I might be married but I feel the same way about you."
"Why did you marry him Elena?" He shook his head at her, his eyes filled with agony. "Things would be so much easier if you hadn't."
"Because I had to meet you before I realized I never really loved him."
His eyes softened, a smile tugging on his lips, he leaned forward and kissed her slowly, tasting her properly. It occurred more and more these days that these small gestures happened, he would walk up behind her and hug her, kiss her neck, just because he felt like it. She had started noticing the same things, she would just grab his hand and hold it because she felt better with his skin against hers, her fingers would tangle in his dark locks while he lay in her lap, enjoying the night with just the two of them.
"Caroline once told me that having anal sex is the deepest connection you can have with someone."
"I will never understand that woman."
"I will never understand that woman." He sighed exaggeratedly, rolling his eyes. "Who takes a five-year-old to the gym?"
"Auntie Care."
"The one and only."
"Daddy?" Liam's big blue eyes looked up at him. "Why didn't I meet you before?"
"It's kinda complicated." Damon sighed and sat down next to Liam, feeling the beads of water fall against his skin. "I did something really bad to your mommy and she got mad at me."
"What did you do?"
"I lied to her." He swallowed back the lump in his throat, turning away from the young blue eyes. "I lied about something really important."
"Did you tell her you're sorry?" Liam rubbed a few drops of water out of his eyes. "Mommy says everyone deserves a second chance."
"She might forgive me but I think she'll never be able to forget how much it hurt." He bit his lip and took a deep breath. "Your mommy was my best friend and we had a rule that said we wouldn't lie to each other; when I broke that rule, I broke the most important thing in our friendship."
"I think Mommy misses you."
"Why's that?"
"Because sometimes when she sleeps with me, she whispers Damon." Liam's blue eyes filled with sorrow for his mother. "And she says she loves you; that means she misses you right?"
"I think she misses the time she spent with me."
"Damon, will you promise me something?" Liam's voice pitched, blue eyes locking with blue. "Don't lie to Mommy again; she's happy now you're here."
"Pinky promise."
"I'm thirty-five, I'm an adult, it's time to figure it out."
"Could you figure it out with your own underwear?"
"You're very protective of your underwear." Damon arched his eyebrow at the boy, smirking slightly. "That's such a girly thing."
"I love girls."
He rolled his eyes and frowned as he read the buttons on the laundry machine one by one, the manual in his hands. Liam sat next to him on the floor, a blanket wrapped around his small frame, his chestnut hair still damp from the shower.
"What are we going to do now?"
"Life lesson," Damon grabbed his phone and pressed one. "Always have your mom on speed dial."
He got up, leaving a confused Liam behind in front of the laundry machine and started pacing in the small room, waiting for his mother to pick up the phone, with the third ring he heard the familiar voice on the other side of the line.
"Do you want me to bail you out?" Lauren sighed into the phone. "Fine, give me your bank account number and I'll make it happen."
"Mom." He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, moaning her name. "I'm not in trouble."
"Well, that's a welcome change."
"How are you doing?" He glanced towards Liam, finding him in the same spot he left him. "It seems like you're still breathing."
"I told you I wouldn't die before you got your family back." Lauren clacked her tongue. "So how's that coming along?"
"Do you remember how I always told you that I didn't want to be a Dad?"
"Yeah.."
"I changed my mind."
"So you finally figured out that you'd be a wonderful Dad?" She chuckled quietly. "It took you long enough."
"I told Elena to choose." He lifted his shoulders, shaking his head. "I can't do this anymore, I can't be on the sideline and watch my son call someone else Daddy."
"Bring her home." Lauren breathed into the phone. "You've been miserable for five years, it's time to man up and beg her on your bare knees."
"Mystic Falls is her home." He shrugged, his voice trembling. "I can't ask her to drop everything and come with me."
"Her home is with you."
"Speaking about homes." He rolled his eyes at the uncomfortable subject. "I don't know how to use a laundry machine and I need to wash Liam's clothes."
"For God's sake Damon." Lauren growled in annoyance. "You're thirty-five, you can figure it out."
"That exactly what I thought you would say." He pressed his lips together, glancing over at Liam. "Bye mom, see you soon."
"When you come back to Chicago, bring my grandson with you."
"I'll try."
"Liam." He put the phone back in his pocket and watched Liam's head snap up. "Come on buddy, it's time for bed."
"It's only eight." Liam got up from the ground, dragging the blanket with him. "Bedtime's at nine."
"Nice try." He scooped him up in his arms and started walking towards the stairs. "But I had specific orders from your mommy to get you in bed by eight."
"Can I sleep with you?" Liam's big blue eyes bored into his. "Because I have bad dreams and they scare me."
"Yeah...your mommy told me." He placed a kiss on the boy's forehead. "You can sleep with me tonight."
He carried him up the stairs and into the guest bedroom, Liam snuggled under the covers as soon as he put him down on the bed. He pulled his shirt off and crawled under the covers, taking Liam's small body into his arms.
"I love you, Daddy."
"I love you too."
He watched Liam's eyes flutter and fall shut, the tiny body sleeping in his strong arms. It was a weird feeling to finally have your son with you after five years of guessing what it would be like, five years of trying to fool yourself into believing that you couldn't be a father.
"I loved you ever since I knew she was carrying you."
He placed a kiss on top of Liam's head and closed his eyes ready to fall asleep. His phone started ringing once he almost got into the world of unconscious. He slowly pulled away from Liam and turned around, grabbing the phone from the night table.
"Hello?"
"Damon?"
Her shaky voice came through the phone, her cries making his heart ache. After all the times he held her while she cried, he still couldn't bear the thought of her in pain, of her suffering. He was the one that was supposed to be hurting, he hurt her, destroyed their future.
"Elena." He sat up straight in the bed. "What's wrong?"
"I want to come home."
"You'll be home soon." He whispered soothingly, trying to calm her down. "Mason said he'd release you in three days."
"No."
She started sobbing into the phone, his heart breaking into a million pieces while their son lay quietly asleep next to him. He waited for her to speak as she struggled to catch her breath. But when she finally spoke, they were the words he had always wanted to hear, the ones he got up for in the morning, to hear them after five years of waiting.
"I want to come home to you."
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