Three more chapters before this story ends. Pfiew, and it's already been such a ride :P Anyway, thank you LaylaReyne for betaing, as always she did a fabulous job.
Someone like you
Chapter 21
'The End Where I Begin'
"You must be the new toy."
Elena's eyes wandered over the woman's body and her long black silk hair, carefully curled and kept. Her face consisted of high cheekbones and a small nose that led the way to her perfectly formed lips. She was wearing make-up, but it was applied in such a way that it seemed natural for her to have such long dark eyelashes and full pink lips. The black high heels on her feet made her legs appear longer and the dress that hugged her body cost more than Elena would earn in a month. This woman looked like she'd just stepped out of a catalogue and not some random catalogue, but rather the one that was going around for Victoria's Secret, and it was obvious that she was used to luxury like a model. She started tapping her foot impatiently as Elena examined her, her perfect mouth pressed together in an annoyed pout and her eyebrow arched to question Elena's mental state.
"I'm sorry." Elena shook herself out of her daze. "How can I help you?"
"I'm looking for Damon."
"He's in the kitchen." She smiled and opened the door further. "Come on in."
The woman walked past without giving her a second glance, as if she knew the place and owned it in some kind of way. Elena felt like she was the guest as she followed her into the living room where Damon and Lauren were laughing and teasing one another with the whipped cream they'd just made for Lauren's cake. Damon turned to her with a bright smile on his face, his blue eyes shimmering, but then he noticed the other presence in the room and that smile faltered immediately. The emotions flashed across his face - anger, shock, disbelief - as if he was seeing a ghost, someone that had died years ago and had suddenly risen from the ashes. Lauren's face reflected much the same, only hers was dominated by anger. Whoever this woman was, and whatever she was here for, it was clear that she wasn't getting a friendly welcome.
"Katherine."
"Hello, Damon." Katherine nodded harshly, eyeing Lauren with a mocking smile. "Lauren."
"Katherine." Lauren smiled tightly, throwing a towel on the marble counter. "I'd say it's a pleasure to see you again but I'd be lying."
"No need for pretences." Katherine's eyes narrowed and moved back to Damon. "I think we need to talk."
"Can I get you something to drink, Katherine?" Elena stepped forward, moving towards the kitchen.
"She doesn't want anything." Damon grabbed her arm as she moved to the refrigerator. "She's leaving."
"Now Damon," Katherine cocked her head to the side and smirked. "That's no way to treat your wife."
The floor fell from beneath her feet the second those words left Katherine's mouth; her body started shaking, her head spinning, her emotions swirling, and she didn't know what to feel first or last. Damon's eyes searched for hers, the panic from earlier in them again but for completely different reasons now, because she'd figured something out he'd never wanted her to know. He'd have kept her clueless about this part of his past for the rest of their lives together, and it made her stomach turn. Lauren's eyes met hers too as her gaze became clouded by the tears that threatened to escape, and the older woman's face was suddenly clear of anger, only pity and sorrow there now. Pity because she'd acted as if they were best friends, but she'd never told her about her son's secret, knowing he wanted to keep it from her. Sorrow because she knew what was coming next and that it wouldn't go over easily; every one of them would get hurt, their hearts would be shattered, her soul would be crushed and she would never again trust Damon like she once had.
"Wife?" she spit out, her eyes boring into Damon's. "Your wife?"
"You really kept her clueless, didn't you?" Katherine put a hand on her hip, snickering. "Oh poor thing, she probably thinks she's in love with you, but she has no clue who the real you is, does she?"
"Katherine, get out of my house!" Damon yelled, and it made her want to run even more. "You got what you wanted, you had your fun, now get the hell out of here!"
"To be honest, I was shocked to find out you finally filed for divorce after two years. I rather enjoyed living off your money." Katherine pointed her chin towards Elena, her eyes burning into the ring on her hand. "But then I figured out why you're suddenly in such a rush."
Without even realizing it, she removed the ring off her finger and threw it on the counter, causing Damon and Lauren to jump up and Katherine to laugh. She wanted to run, moved to do so, but Damon's arms wrapped around her, holding her there and fighting against her punches and wordless screams. Lauren watched the spectacle with teary eyes, seeing her son fight for what he loved so dearly and the girl she had come to care for as a daughter hurt and betrayed in the worst way possible.
"You thought he was it, didn't you?" Katherine made her stop struggling, drawing her attention. "I thought so too. I thought I could fix him, but even when the white picket fence was shoved into his face, he couldn't deal with it."
"What did you do?" She looked up into Damon's tortured expression, turning to Katherine. "What did he do?"
"I told him I was pregnant, and he picked up the phone, called the clinic, drove me there and held my hand as we sat in the waiting room," Katherine replied bitterly, throwing Damon an accusing look that hid so much pain. "We didn't even discuss the abortion. He just arranged it because having our baby wasn't an option."
Being crushed had never had such a literal meaning to her; she felt as if the earth was falling down on her, trying to push her to the ground in a puddle of the pieces that were once her. She threw her fists against Damon's chest once more and this time he was too weakened by Katherine's words to have the strength to hold her captive. Lauren's eyes fell on hers as she wiggled free from Damon, reflecting so much hurt that it made her cry even more as she ran out of the kitchen past Katherine and into the bedroom, throwing the door closed behind her. She threw the closet doors open and grabbed her suitcase from the bottom, throwing it on the bed as she pulled her clothes from the hangers and started packing them.
"Stop it."
Hands closed around her wrists, and she knew those hands all too well. She'd once vowed to spend the rest of her life with the man those hands belonged to, but now she'd been betrayed and she realized he was never the man she thought he was. She knew he was damaged, but she didn't know he was the biggest cause of that damage. He killed his child, and it was something she couldn't wrap her mind around because no man kills his own child. She thought she belonged with him, and as he pressed his chest against her back, it still felt that way, as if she'd been born to fit into the curve of his body. He'd been too perfect when she'd met him, and she realized later that indeed he wasn't perfect. He couldn't give her everything she wanted, but she accepted it, because even without fulfilling those dreams, he'd be a better match for her than any other man. She'd trusted him with everything, and in return she thought he'd shared his every thought with her too, but he'd had secrets, and those secrets were darker than she could have ever anticipated.
"Don't touch me." She backed away from him, holding her hands up. "Is it true?"
"The abortion?" His voice was hoarse, an agonizing pain hiding behind that ocean of blue. "It's true."
"You killed your child."
"I thought I had no other choice." His mouth pressed into a hard line as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "We got married right out of high school and we agreed, no kids. I was in my first year of med school when she got pregnant, and it didn't make sense because she always told me she didn't want kids."
"Didn't it ever occur to you that she might have changed her mind when she got pregnant?" She clenched her hands into fists next to her sides. "She was your wife, you were supposed to love her and you made her get rid of your child."
"The day I met you I realized that I never loved Katherine like you're supposed to love your wife." He sighed, biting his bottom lip. "I was young, I made mistakes, and I knew if I told you, you'd run the other direction and I couldn't have you running away from me when you were everything I'd always wanted."
"You hid your marriage from me!" She buried her head in her hands, shaking it. "How could you not tell me you were married?"
"Because I'm only technically married. I didn't think it mattered, and I didn't even think about it until I proposed to you." He held his hands out in an attempt to touch her, but she backed away. "That's when I filed for divorce and that's why she barged in here, because I cut her off and she'll have to make her own money from now on."
"I can't stay with you."
The words hit him with the force of a bullet, but it was clear in her mind; he had killed his child, the child of the woman he was supposed to love, and he did it without even blinking. Even though she never wanted to be in that situation, if she ever got into it, she wanted him to choose their family, the baby that would be growing in her belly. She wouldn't do it on purpose but just like with Katherine, accidents happen and if such an accident happened to her, she would want nothing more than to live the dream she'd once had. But now with the facts laid out in front of her, it was as if her dream had been crushed the day Katherine had that abortion and got rid of Damon's child.
"Elena, we can do this." He sat down in front of her, squeezing her knees. "We can have babies."
"No, we can't." She clenched her teeth together, tears rolling over her cheeks. "Do you know what the worst part of all is? A few days ago you came home drunk and you said we can have babies, and I almost started hoping that somewhere inside of you, you really wanted them. But today I found out that you killed your own child and all that hope I had was crushed."
He wished he could tell her about the life that was growing inside of her - he truly wanted to - but every fiber in his body told him not to, because no matter what he said, no matter what he proved, she was leaving him and she was taking the baby she was unknowingly carrying with her. Telling her would give her all the more reason to go and never come back again; he knew she'd protect that child with her last breath. She wasn't Katherine, she'd never be, and she wouldn't let him drive her to a clinic and take care of it. She'd fight him all the way there and kill anyone that tried to take that child away from her. It's why he'd fallen for her, because she was strong-willed, she knew what she wanted and she would do everything in her power to get it. She knew she wanted a family before he even met her and she gave that up for him, but now she was going to have one eventhough she didn't know it yet, and he was sure she was going to fight like a lioness to keep it.
"Okay, okay." He wiped away the tear that escaped his eye, nodding. "I'll let you go."
He had to let her go for the both of them, because he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he took that dream away from her, and she wouldn't be able to live with him if he tried to take it from her. It felt different than when Katherine had been pregnant. He'd freaked out back then, rushing to the phone to make it disappear as quickly as it had come. But now he found comfort in knowing Elena would take their baby with her, the last reminder that she'd been his, the one piece of him that she'd always have. He'd let her take it with her and maybe someday when he had redeemed himself, he wouldn't be a danger to his child anymore, and come that day, he'd fight to get them back.
"For what it's worth," he whispered, locking his blue eyes with her brown ones for one last time, "I didn't love her like I love you."
"I didn't love her like I love you." He squeezed her arm again, trying to pull her attention towards him. "Having a baby with Katherine seemed wrong. Having one with you felt right."
"It's not about who you have a baby with." She looked up and stared at the wall. "Whomever you have it with, that baby is also a part of you. That baby that Katherine was carrying, that was your flesh and blood too."
"I know that, and I'm not saying that what I did was right." He took a deep breath, blowing it out again. "But I won't say that I'd do it differently now either."
"And that's what I can't accept." She laughed humourlessly. "You can make mistakes but you have to regret them."
"Maybe I don't see it as a mistake but as a lesson." He fixed his eyes on the back of her head, shaking his own. "Look, it's late, we can talk more tomorrow. I'll sleep with Liam tonight."
"I told you I wouldn't kick you out." She turned her head over her shoulder to look at him. "You can sleep here but don't expect anything more than sleep. It might be a while before you gain those privileges back."
"I can live with that."
They shared a long look before Elena finally nodded and stood up to remove her tank top and jeans. She didn't bother to hide her body from him; he'd seen it all. And no matter how much she tried to convince herself he would never see it again, they both knew that within some time his hands would roam down her body again because every road led to him. Once she'd fooled herself into believing that he was a stop in the course of her life, only to realize later that he was the destination, and she'd taken a U-turn to end up back where she really belonged – with him. Once she had thought that running away from him was the solution, but to be honest, she'd rather stay and fight with him every second of every day than live a peaceful existence miles away from him.
She slipped the nightgown over her head and pulled her long curls out of the fabric, feeling Damon's eyes on her with every move she made. Somehow it still managed to make her skin tingle, even after all those mornings she'd been investigated by those orbs of blue while she dressed. It felt like they'd never left Chicago, because he was still there, stuck under her skin like no man had been before, and she was still mesmerized by the contours of his face. She'd once blamed her twenty-year-old self for falling under his spell, for letting the smirk and perfect features seduce her; truth was that almost six years later, she was still under that spell, bound to him without magic, but with a physical attraction stronger than most people ever encounter in their lifetime.
"Did you tuck Liam in?"
"Yeah," he whispered hoarsely, peeling his eyes off her body. "He's asleep."
"He knows he isn't supposed to run on the stairs, but he told me he heard us yelling." She stood next to the side of the bed, feeling like there was an ocean between them. "He hates it when we fight."
"I know."
"You shouldn't have told him that it was the reason we split up." She sat down on the mattress and went to lie down. "It's the reason why he's so scared when we fight. He thinks one of us is going to leave."
"Well, I'm sorry that he asked me a question." Damon rolled his eyes and pulled his shirt over his head. "And that I answered it honestly."
"He's a kid, sometimes you don't have to answer honestly." She stared up at the ceiling. "Sometimes you just have to lie to protect them."
"I won't lie to my kid." He pulled his belt out of the loops. "I'm not going to be the kind of parent that sugar-coats everything."
"Coming from a man who first hid his divorce, and then ignored his son for five years." She turned her head to meet his eyes, shrugging arrogantly. "And who knows what else he's still hiding."
"You wouldn't have given me a second look if you knew I was married." He threw the covers back on his side and got in while glaring at her. "You were too damn Catholic."
"I'm sorry that my mother raised me as a Catholic," she replied, raising her voice before mumbling under her breath, "If yours had, then maybe you'd have some values."
"Keep it up, Elena. You're going to turn out exactly like her." He plopped his head down in the pillow and sighed. "Poor Liam, he'll never get laid."
He heard her gasp before he realized he regretted his words. The wounds of her mother's passing were not only still too fresh to joke about it, but also you didn't offend a girl's mother without automatically insulting her too. She was nothing like her mother, he knew that all too well, but he knew from experience that comparing the two of them pissed her off. He used to do it all the time, but this time he'd crossed the line, as proven by the way her eyes widened and her lips parted. She searched for words but couldn't seem to find them, and if she weren't so pissed at him, he'd have thought it was a comical sight. Now, he was only scared that he'd lose his eyes at the hand of her claws.
"Mommy?" Liam pushed the door open, making their heads snap to him. "My arm hurts."
"Come here."
Saved by their son. He watched Liam crawl on the bed, finding his spot in Elena's arms, the ache apparently lessened immediately by her touch. It made his heart contract in his chest, seeing his son snuggle into his mother's chest, Elena's fingers running through his chestnut hair, whispering soothing words to him as she wrapped him firmly into her embrace. And for some reason he felt oddly out of place, because they'd managed five years without him, they'd been on their own, and they'd survived. For the first time he realized how Stefan had felt – like an outsider – as he watched the two of them, Elena distant because of the argument they'd just had and Liam seemingly oblivious to his presence because only a mother's touch can take away a child's pain.
"Elena?"
Grayson knocked on the door before pushing it open like Liam had done before him. He smiled softly as he found the three of them in the bed, Liam's eyes fluttering again. But even that small smile didn't hide the pain that was going on behind his eyes, the loss of Miranda still too fresh in his heart just as it was in Elena's. There was only the two of them now, left behind by the person that took care of them both, and they had to stand on their own two feet now. And he hadn't realized how much Elena had had to do the same when she left him until that very moment. She'd had to fight through it all alone, her support system not the one she wanted, not him, not like she planned on becoming a mother with him next to her side. He wasn't there to take care of her, to hold her while she cried, or to rub her swollen feet. He wasn't there through it all, and just like Miranda, he'd left an empty space behind.
"Stefan's here." Grayson stood in the doorway, his eyes burning into his daughter's. "He has the divorce papers, and he would like to see Liam."
"I'll be there in a minute."
Elena disentangled herself from a sleeping Liam, then got up and grabbed her robe from the chair in the corner, pulling it over her silk nightgown. She gave him a firm look and briefly checked on Liam before following her father out. As the door closed behind her, he turned on his side and found his son softly snoring. Quietly, he put his hand around Liam's arm and shook gently, waiting for the snoring to fade and those blue eyes to open. Liam's eyes opened slowly, locking onto his own blue ones.
"Are you awake?" He poked his son's arm, waiting for his eyes to focus. "I just need you awake for five seconds."
"Good daddies don't wake up their children."
"No parent is perfect," Damon smirked and then chuckled. "Besides, I'm still in the process of becoming a parent."
"Your five seconds are up."
"No. Wait." He poked Liam's arm once again and waited until the blue orbs re-appeared. "We need to have one of our talks, and this one can't wait ten years."
"Hurry." Liam yawned, his eyes struggling to stay open. "I want to sleep."
"Your mom and I aren't going to break up just because we had a fight," Damon whispered, watching Liam's eyes grow wider. "Neither one of us is going to leave, so you don't have to be scared. We're going to be fine, and we're always going to be right here with you."
"But you and Mommy always fight," he pouted, his eyes watering up. "You have to stop fighting."
"I know, and I'm working on it." He smiled, stroking his son's hair. "But even if we fight, we're not going to break up again, okay? So no more running down the stairs because we're yelling at each other."
"Okay."
"Go back to sleep." He placed a kiss on top of the chestnut hair. "I'm going to go check on your mom."
Liam nodded as he got up from the bed and looked for his shirt and jeans. He pulled them on and quietly pulled the door open, glancing once more over his shoulder and finding Liam already back in dreamland. Once he stepped out of the room, raised voices greeted him and his eyes detected Elena and Grayson at the end of the hallway in a heated conversation. Suddenly, Elena's eyes snapped to his, and she pressed her lips firmly together before she gave her father one last look and walked past him towards the stairs. He wanted to go after her, but before he could take the first step, Grayson's hand closed around his upper-arm, holding him back.
"Let her go."
"Let her go."
He grabbed his mother's arm as she tried to get past him into the bedroom where Elena was packing her clothes. Not only did Elena seem to be having a hard time with this break-up, but his mother's blue eyes were also clouded with tears, red and puffy from crying as she'd heard them yelling at each another in the bedroom. He wanted to kill Katherine, it was the primary thought on his mind, and he knew he should blame himself for not speaking the truth, but pain makes a person more irrational than usual and he needed someone else to blame. The two women that meant the most to him were now broken, one shattered by what he'd done to her and the other crushed by what he'd asked of her. She didn't want to let her newfound daughter go. He could see in her eyes that she'd beg Elena to stay, to forgive his sorry ass. And maybe Elena's persistence would eventually falter, and she's let him back in, but he couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk keeping her here and be a danger to that baby she was carrying. He'd made up his mind. She had to go, and she had to go within the next ten second or else he'd throw himself at her feet and cling to her legs until she bent down and took him in her arms. It would be the end of them.
"What are you talking about?" Lauren shoved him, her blue eyes filled with a rage he couldn't understand. "She's packing her bags! She's going to leave if you don't do something about it!"
"You need to let her go!" He held his mother's arms in his grip, shaking her. "I can't explain to you why, but I need you to do this for me. Let her go."
"Do this for you?" she spat out, fighting against his hold. "I already did enough for you. You asked me not to tell her about Katherine, I thought it was because you'd tell her and you didn't want her to be reminded of it. But no, you hid it from her, and you made her dream about things you'd never give her."
At that exact time, the bedroom door was unlocked and thrown open. Elena strolled out of it, dragging the suitcase behind her and looking anywhere but at him because she'd fall apart if she did. His mother launched herself at her, wrapping her in her arms while Elena buried her face in the crook of her neck, gently sobbing there as his mother sobbed right along with her. And oh how he'd pay millions of dollars to just have those brown eyes on his one last time, or to stop his hands from itching like they were now, and just touch her, hold her in his embrace where she was safe and no one could get to her; no one but him. He told himself a thousand times that that's why she couldn't stay; he'd hurt her if she did, he'd panic like he'd done with Katherine and he'd drive her away from him for good. He had to let her go, so she could save herself and the child she was carrying, and he couldn't go after her. It was the promise he silently made. He'd let her have his child, he'd give her what she wanted, and he'd let her go so she could save them.
"I'm so sorry," Lauren whispered into Elena's hair, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry this happened."
"My taxi is waiting." Elena pulled back, talking to Lauren only. "I have to go."
And being the coward he was, he turned away as she walked out the door. Seeing her walk through it would make it official, that she was leaving him and he let her go. She wouldn't be sleeping in his arms tonight, and she wouldn't be staring at him as he woke up in morning. Everything, the life, he wanted with her had just left through that door, and he was on his own again, doomed to be an eternal bachelor. Not even his mom could bear to look into his eyes at this moment. She stood in front of the window, watching Elena get into the taxi and drive away from everything she'd found there.
"Never before have I been embarrassed to call you my son." Lauren's hands grabbed the windowsill, her back still to him. "But it seems that even a mother's tolerance for her son has its limits."
"You don't understand." He shook his head, looking for the right words. "She couldn't stay."
"Explain to me why exactly." Lauren threw her hands in the air. "I get it that she'd dumped your ass, but what I don't get is why you let her go when just this morning you two were perfectly happy."
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because you'd never forgive me."
"Try me."
"Elena's pregnant."
His mother's palm left a sting behind on his cheek, his head cocked to the side by the impact of it. He should have seen it coming. No mother has enough self-control to let her son make the same mistake twice without some sort of reprimand. She hadn't liked Katherine, but after she'd found out about the abortion, he'd gotten the silence treatment for months, at one point even slamming the door in his face. He could only guess what she'd do now that he'd hurt the girl she loved as much as he did, a girl she'd come to see as her own daughter instead of just a daughter-in-law. She'd never forgive him, it was written in her eyes. Not even a mother's love could forgive everything.
"Is that your game plan, Damon?" Lauren looked at him in agony, brutally mocking him. "Find a girl you like, knock her up and then take it from her so she never wants to see your face again."
"That's exactly why Elena couldn't stay here." He clenched his fists next to his side, his eyes tearing up. "I can't do that to her. She's not Katherine, I can't take that baby from her and I can't be a father. So either way, our relationship was over."
"You're an idiot."
"I'm Giuseppe's son!" He spoke through clenched teeth, shrugging. "I can't raise a kid. I'll panic and run away from it."
"You're not only Giuseppe's son, you're mine too." Lauren pointed to herself, eyes blazing. "I gave up everything for you, and I never regretted it. Giuseppe wanted to be part of your life, and I didn't let him, but he raised Stefan so don't you dare blame this on bad genes. He was never there for you and that scarred you. How can you do that to your own child?"
"He or she will thank me later." He turned to the couch and sat down. "At least this way that child will get to grow up."
"So you're never going to be part of its life?" Lauren shook her head and scoffed. "When are you going to realize that you're not Giuseppe? You're just acting like him."
"You don't get it!" He threw his hands up and stomped away. "She has to do this on her own."
"She has to do this on her own."
Grayson held his arm, his eyes wide but soft, full of understanding. And for some reason that understanding dawned on him too; she'd stepped in this marriage alone, it was only fair that she stepped out of it alone too. Although some part of him said she'd never really been alone, because he'd been there, always. He'd been the one thing that separated a married couple, the one thing that held Elena back from having kids with Stefan. And after that, he'd been the reason why she'd never have any, until that plan was shot to hell.
"I take it you told her that you knew about Liam." Grayson eyed him humourlessly. "She isn't happy with either of us."
"I bet she isn't."
Elena chose that moment to come back up the stairs, holding the divorce papers in one hand and a pen in the other. Behind her walked Stefan, clearly uncomfortable now that he and Grayson were staring him down. Damon watched the former couple and couldn't imagine them belonging to one another. It seemed like Elena had always belong to him, that her hand was supposed to be in his and his ring around her finger. Surely she'd realized that when she stood in front of the Altar? He'd been by her side minutes before she'd said 'I do', practically walked her down the aisle; the image must have been picture perfect.
"I'd like to check on Liam," Stefan explained himself to them, shifting uncomfortably. "I heard about his arm. I'm glad he's okay."
"He's in our room." Elena nodded her head towards the door. "Come on."
"Don't wake him up." Damon's eyes bored into Stefan's. "He won't like that."
"You're not supposed to let them sleep with you." Stefan cleared his throat. "I read about it."
"Well, in ten years we'll be longing for the days that he slept with us and he won't want to anymore." Damon rolled his eyes and sighed. "Besides, no textbook applies to Liam."
"I couldn't get Damon out of my bed either." Lauren stepped into the hallway, wearing her robe. "Hello Stefan."
"You must be Lauren." Stefan extended his hand, nodding politely. "I heard a lot about you from Elena. It's nice meeting you."
"It's nice meeting you too."
Lauren's eyes travelled over Stefan's form, her face washed over with sadness as she saw what she'd been hurting for. Another son from the man she'd once loved, a man that didn't think her or her son worthy enough to stay with them. She'd thought that once she'd get to see that child, it would all make sense why he was better than her son. But now he was standing here in front of her, and he hadn't saved the world, he hadn't even saved somebody's life. It cut deeper than it ever had before. Maybe there was an angel hidden inside of him, maybe she couldn't see it but Giuseppe could, and that's why he'd gone back to Helen, because he knew she'd carry an angel after she'd conceived the devil.
"You look like your mother." Lauren smiled at Stefan, nodding. "You have her eyes."
"I hear that a lot," Stefan chuckled, blushing. "Did you know my mother?"
"I only met her once." She glanced at Damon and then back at Stefan. "It was a very long time ago."
"I'm sure it wasn't a pleasant time."
"Come on, I'll show you to Liam." Lauren changed the subject and led him into the bedroom. "He's way cuter when he's asleep."
Lauren closed the door after Stefan, giving Damon a pointed glare. Grayson coughed uncomfortably and turned around to his bedroom, closing the door behind them, leaving only Damon and Elena standing in the hallway. Damon's eyes slipped to the papers in her hand, knowing the meaning behind those papers. She wasn't necessarily his now, but she wasn't Stefan's anymore either. She was a free woman, to do as she pleased, to love who she pleased, and he could only hope that she would decide it was him, that she'd give him the chance to earn back what he'd lost.
"It's official now." She held the papers up, biting her bottom lip. "I'm divorced."
"I'm glad."
"Yeah, me too."
It was real now. They would have to figure things out and make decisions about their future, about their son's future. It scared and thrilled him at the same time, as he hadn't known he'd wanted to be on this path with her before he got here. He had a son and a wife, and this time he wouldn't screw it up, he wouldn't hurt her so she'd run away and take his son from him again. He'd chase her to the ends of the earth and bring her back in his arms where she belonged if that's what it took to keep his family together.
"What does this mean, Elena?" He took a step towards her, closing the distance between them. "What does this mean for us?"
"I don't know." She shook her head, smiling softly. "We have a lot of things to figure out."
"Stop fighting with me, Elena." He took another step, watching her pupils widen. "Stop fighting me."
"I'm scared to let you back in."
"I know." He cupped her cheek, placing his other hand on her heart. "But the thing is, I'm already in there."
He watched her strong mask falter, the pain making its way through and reflecting in her eyes. And she wanted to push him away, but at the same time she wanted to pull him against her and lose herself in him. He made the choice for her by placing his hands around her waist and picking her up, setting her down on the table behind them. Her hands sought his shoulders, feeling his muscles flex beneath her palms, and it made her think back on so many heated nights they'd shared. Just like then, she could feel the heat radiating off him now, the electricity sizzling in the air between them. Her ocean of blue was staring at her, watching her closely, ready to engulf her once she was ready to dive back in again. Her heart and head were at war, but somehow she knew her heart would win that battle; it always did. It was the very reason she'd moved to Chicago, because he was her heart.
"I love you so much," he whispered huskily into her neck, making shivers appear on her skin. "I'm never going to hurt you again."
Her head surrendered, moving her arms around his neck and bringing his lips to meet hers. With her ankles locked behind his waist, she brought him closer to her body, the front of his jeans pressing against her core through the silk material of her robe. Her fingers tangled into his hair as she met a fire that had been lit years ago, had endured storms, tornados, rain, lightening, thunder, had concurred everything, only to burn here again, with a flame brighter than ever. He claimed her lips, possessing the free woman she was now, making her his once again, and she'd never felt more his than in that moment, just as he'd never felt more hers. She slipped her palms under his shirt and met the abs under it, her fingers knowing the way between them, having memorized every line in them. He mimicked her movement and hitched her robe up, sneaking his arm beneath it, ignoring the pool between her legs and going straight for her breast, kneading it as she let go of his lips and reveled in the sensation.
"This was always the easy part, wasn't it?" Damon peppered kisses along her jaw line. "Just being like this."
"I'm afraid that the emotional part won't be so easy." She held his head in her hands, her lips inches from his. "I don't know where to start to make this alright again."
"First of all," he cocked his head to the side, grinning. "Stop moping."
"Stop moping."
Caroline threw the door open, walking straight to the windows to pull the curtains aside and let the daylight into the room. Elena pulled the sheets over her head and buried her head back into the pillow, wishing for the dark that for some reason numbed the pain. In the daylight, she could see that empty space beside her, but in the dark she could pretend that there was someone there. She didn't feel the warmth that radiated from his body, nor the purring sound he made when he was about to fall asleep, and there was no arm draped around her waist, but she could imagine all those things as long as she didn't have to face the light.
"Close the curtains," she mumbled into the comforter around her. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."
"That's not because of the light, Elena." Caroline punched her fist above her on the sheets. "Get up! I let you mope in this bed for a week, but not anymore. It's time to stop smelling and living like a pig and get back out there."
"I am getting back out there." She threw the covers off her body and sat up. "I booked a plane ticket to Chicago, I'm going back."
"What?" Caroline threw her hands up, her blond curls bouncing. "After what he did to you?"
"I think I'm going to be more miserable here than with him." She fumbled with the covers and bit her bottom lip. "I just want to go back, Caroline. I've been in this bed for a week and all I can think about is, why did I run out of the door, why didn't I stay and fight?"
"Because he's a son of a bitch and he hurt you." Caroline put her hands on her hips. "Elena, you're going to be fine."
"Yeah, I will be." She made a move to get up from the bed. "Once I'm back in Chicago."
Caroline swallowed her words as she watched Elena get up, stumbling to stay upright and holding her stomach as the nausea hit her. Elena covered her mouth and ran into the bathroom, holding herself up above the toilet. She wanted to blame it on stress for being in here every morning for the past five days, but part of her knew it wasn't that, only that part was still in denial. Because if she admitted it to herself, then the plane ticket she booked wouldn't be used, and she wouldn't hold Damon in her arms tomorrow. She'd be stuck here, protecting that what she once wished for so desperately.
"I got you a pregnancy test." Caroline came up behind her and handed her to box. "You can't have the flu for a week."
"I can."
"No," Caroline spoke firmly, crouching down beside her. "You don't puke in the morning and feel fine in the afternoon when you have the flu. Take the pregnancy test."
"I don't want to."
"Elena, I swear to god that I'll push on your bladder until you pee on the damn stick." Her blue eyes widened as she rattled. "Just take it, and if it's negative, then I'll get off your back."
"Fine!"
She pulled the box open and removed the cap from the stick, waiting for Caroline to step out of the bathroom. A dwarf was doing flip-flops in her belly as she sat down on the toilet and did her business, doubts filling her mind, wishes and dreams that she'd pushed back returning to the surface. And for some reason they were her nightmare now, because if she got this dream, she wouldn't get to live the other one, and the two warring possibilities were battling inside her.
"How's it going?" Caroline banged on the door, clearly impatient. "Do you need any help?"
"Do I need any help peeing?" Elena mused, raising her voice. "I've been doing this my whole life, I can handle it."
Her hand shook as she placed the stick on the counter and pulled her panties up again, so many emotions rushing through her that she didn't have the time to identify them. That stick was going to decide her future; she'd have Damon, or she'd have his child, and she didn't know which one she wanted more. In a perfect world, she'd have both. Damon would be sitting outside now and he'd be pacing in front of the door. But she didn't have Damon, she had Caroline opening the door and coming in to wait for the result. Caroline's certainty about what was going to come out of the test was so intimidating that Elena couldn't handle it, so she walked back into the bedroom and grabbed her suitcase, snatching her clothes from the shelves and dumping them in the suitcase. Maybe if she had her things packed before the two minutes were up, she would be out the door too, on the way to airport already, and she'd spend tomorrow in Damon's arms, blissfully unaware of what she already knew.
"Elena…"
"I'm not pregnant."
"It's smiling." Caroline clasped a hand in front of her mouth as a sob escaped, holding the stick up. "Elena, you're pregnant."
"I'm not." She ignored Caroline's words and shook her head. "I can't be."
"Elena, you're pregnant."
Tears started streaming down her cheeks as she tried to shake the truth out of her head, out of her stomach. Her hands kept on moving, folding the clothes neatly before placing them in the suitcase. As long as she kept on going, she didn't have to think about what this meant, about what she was going to have to leave behind, and how she was going to have to live the past week for the rest of her life. She couldn't go back, she couldn't do what Katherine did, because she had longed for this too much and now it seemed like that wish was mocking her.
"I can't be." She fell to the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. "I can't be pregnant, Caroline. Damon doesn't... Damon doesn't want to have a baby. I can't be pregnant."
"You're going to be okay." Caroline crouched down in front of her, holding her shoulders. "Shh, you're going to have your baby, it's going to be okay."
"I can't do this on my own." She buried her head between her knees, shaking violently with sobs. "I can't raise a baby on my own."
"You don't have to." Caroline pried her fingers away from her knees and clasped them tightly in her own. "We're going to raise this baby with the two of us. We're going to raise this little princess and she's going to be loved so much."
"What if it's a boy?"
"Well, then we just have to pray that he doesn't take after Damon." Caroline smiled, a tear escaping her eye. "We're going to be fine, Elena. I promise you that you don't have to do this on your own."
"What's going on?"
Both their heads jerked to the door as Grayson hovered in it, his eyes focusing on Elena, watching her tremble as she hugged herself against the bed. Then they slipped to the suitcase on the bed, finding the closet shelves empty. He must have made the link, but Elena could see that he hadn't grasped the full story. He could only see his daughter moving back to Chicago, and a small smile played on his lips because secretly that's what he'd wanted her to do since she'd stormed in here and hid in the bed for days. He wanted her to get up again and get on a flight. The only question on his mind right now was why she was still sitting there, until his eyes fell on the pregnancy test that lay in front of his feet.
"Oh, baby."
"Daddy."
Grayson fell on his knees in front of her and hugged her to his chest, pulling her head against him like he'd done when she was a little girl and had scratched her leg after falling from her bike. But he couldn't fix this scar with a hug and a kiss; her heart was scarred now, and there was no medicine on the market that would be able to heal the wound. So she sobbed it out, feeling Caroline rub her back while Grayson clung to her as if he needed the support just as much as she did.
"It's going to be okay." Grayson rocked her in his arms. "You don't have to do this alone, we'll all help you."
"You're not mad at me?"
"Honey, how could I ever be mad at you for making me a grandfather?" He took her head in his hands, water clouding his sight. "This is one of the best days of my life."
That only made her cry harder, hiding her face again in her father's chest, wanting to hide there from the world, from the life she had to say goodbye too. She'd be stuck here, raising what she'd once wanted to so desperately, but now the truth had slapped her in the face. She was going to be the mother of Damon's child, she'd be bound to him in the most intimate way possible, and yet she'd be separated from him for good now. Together, they'd bring a new life into this world, after it felt like he'd killed her. He'd broken her heart and put the cure for it in her belly.
"I'm just going to make a quick phone call." Grayson placed a kiss on top of her head after he'd been holding her for what seemed like forever. "I'll be back in a second."
Elena, who'd finally stopped crying, nodded and let Caroline help her up to the bed. Grayson stepped back into the hallway as he watched Caroline tuck his daughter in. He rounded the corner and pulled his phone out of his pocket, feeling two sides fighting inside of him; one of pure happiness that he was going to be a grandfather, the other dark with grief for the pain his daughter was going through. He took a deep breath before putting the phone to his ear and waiting for it to be answered.
"Hello?"
"I know now why you let her go," Grayson whispered, nodding to himself. "You knew."
"Did she figure it out?"
"She did."
"Was she happy about it?"
"She was packing her bags to come back to you." Grayson let out a humourless laugh. "I don't think she was exactly happy to figure out that she can't now."
He heard Damon's sharp intake of breath and pressed his lips together because he could only imagine the pain that he was going through, the same pain his daughter was feeling. But this man had not only said goodbye to the love of his life, he'd let her walk out knowing that, most likely, he'd never see his child either. And it made Grayson want to curl up into a ball because he'd seen them together, the way those two completed one another, and he'd never thought that at some point they'd separate. But it all made sense now, why Damon had let her walk out, why he hadn't come after her. His daughter's pain finally had a reason.
"Take care of her," Damon breathed into the phone, clearly fighting his own emotions. "Take care of both of them."
"You know I will."
"Make sure they're happy." He sighed and swallowed. "Call me if there's anything."
"I will." Grayson nodded and blinked his eyes against the tears. "Goodbye, son."
"Bye, Dad."
Grayson composed himself again before he walked back towards the bedroom, finding Elena and Caroline spooning on the bed, Elena staring at the wall in front of her while Caroline hugged her from behind and stroked her arm. It made his heart clench seeing her like that, but at the same time he knew something that would make a smile come back to her face was on its way. She'd smile again once she held that baby in her arms, and it made him all the more determined to make sure she was ready to love that child.
"Okay, I've had enough of this." He grabbed the covers from the bed and pulled them off the ladies. "Time to stop moping."
"I'm not moping."
"I'm not moping."
"You are," Damon chuckled against her lips, pecking them softly. "You've been spending too much time with Stefan."
"You're not funny."
"I beg to differ."
He launched himself at her neck, softly nibbling on the skin there, knowing from experience that it would make her giggle. And as he predicted, she started squirming beneath him, moans and laughs escaping her mouth. Without realizing it, she pulled him closer while she tried to fight him off, her legs tightening around his waist as she fought against him, her arms wrapping more securely around his neck. He chuckled as she surrendered and tipped her head back so he could access her throat and kiss her behind her ear, knowing she liked nothing better.
"I'm sorry for interrupting." Lauren closed the bedroom door behind her. "Next time I'll check the schedule for romps in the hallway."
"Mom..."
"Do carry on." Lauren waved her hands in the air, walking to the guest bedroom. "I wouldn't mind another grandchild."
"We'd have a whole football team if we let her get her way," Elena chuckled against his chin, biting it softly. "She always wanted a big family, she used to remind me of it every day."
"It's a shame that she won't have one."
"Damon..."
"It's okay." He tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear, smiling comfortingly. "I know you can't have kids, and it's okay, we don't need them."
"Do you want more?"
"No," he answered firmly, shaking his head. "I want you and Liam. That's all I want."
She smiled softly and he smiled right back, feeling that warmth again that had been missing for five years, that understanding they once shared and had been longing to find again. They finally were on the same page again and it brought an unknown comfort to both of them, because they knew they were going to spend to rest of their lives next to one another. They had issues to work out and they'd fight about things, but in the end he'd be next to her and she'd be the woman by his side, finally the place they'd both always wanted to be.
"Are you coming back to bed?" Elena held his waist, her legs still wrapped around it. "I'll kick Stefan out of there."
"Does this mean I have my privileges back?" He smirked cocky, waggling his eyebrows. "Because then, I suggest we throw Liam and Stefan out."
"Damon…" She wetted her lips, biting her bottom one softly. "I'm going to need some time."
"I know, it's okay." He placed one last kiss on her lips, lingering there. "Go to bed. My mom reminded me of something I have to do. I'll see you in the morning."
Her legs released him so she could jump of the table, squeezing his hand before she put her hand on the doorknob and pushed it open so he could see Stefan sitting on the bed next to Liam, stroking the boy's hair. Elena glanced at him and then closed the door again, leaving him standing there alone. He sighed and looked at the guest bedroom, quietly opening the door so a small amount of light hit the room and lit his mother's form on the bed. He closed the door behind him again and turned his back to the bed, letting himself fall on it.
"Damon!" Lauren started, sitting up on the mattress. "You know I hate it when you do that."
"That's why I did it."
"Well, congratulations." She slipped back under the covers and shoved him. "I'm writing you out of my will."
"Ah!" He jumped up as she pushed her cold feet against his warm legs. "You know I hate it when you do that."
"That's why I did it. That's why I had you, to warm my feet," Lauren mused and sighed contently. "My little radiator has become a big one."
"You make me feel so special."
"I'm your momma." Lauren squeezed his arm before rubbing it. "You'll always be special to me."
He scoffed softly and stared up at the ceiling, feeling his mother's blue eyes boring into the side of his face. After a while, he'd counted all the tiles above him and turned on his side, finding those blue eyes still watching him. It made him feel safe, like when he'd been a little boy and slept in his mother's arms; it made him feel treasured and wanted. But now at the age of thirty-five, it made him feel a bit uncomfortable too.
"What are you doing here?" Lauren asked, no judgement in her voice. "It looked like you and Elena were getting it on in the hallway."
"She needs time." He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "It's understandable, I guess."
"I guess so," Lauren shrugged and smiled. "I'm proud of you, Damon."
"I'm proud of you too, old lady," he smirked, ruffling his mom's gray hair. "For still breathing and all that."
"Get under the covers before I spank you." Lauren glared at him and made room for him on the mattress. "It's time for you to spend more time with me again because you've lost your manners."
He let out a loud laugh and kicked his jeans off, slipping under the covers as his mother held them up. She turned on her side and he threw his arm around her, remembering the days when he'd done this every night, searching comfort in this mother's arms like Liam had done this morning in Elena's. His mother's fingers ran up and down his arm as he snuggled his nose in the crook of her neck and felt the darkness close around him.
"I feel like I have to warn you that I'm not wearing any underwear."
"Mom!"
"I'm just kidding." She held his arm so he couldn't escape and burst out laughing. "You can check if you want to."
"Mom!"
"Don't be such a prude, Damon," she mocked and started circling his skin again with her fingers. "The first time you met me I wasn't wearing any underwear either."
"Do we really have to talk about this?" he growled, his cheeks flushing. "Why am I even sleeping here?"
"Because you like it."
"I would have never thought that I'd have a thing for an old lady."
"Oh?" Lauren feigned interest. "How did that happen?"
"Well, after I was born I met you." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "And I kinda liked you."
"I kinda liked you too, kiddo." Lauren brought her hand to his cheek and patted it. "And I must say that you've grown up to be a big man, and I mean that in every place."
"That's it!" He let go of her and turned around on his other side. "No more hugging with you."
"I mean it! That must be the one good thing you got from Giuseppe." She turned around too and swung her arm around his middle, hugging him to her. "And you knew how to use it, besides you've never gotten gonorrhoea or any of that nasty stuff either. How many STD's did Alaric pick up?"
"All those that are treatable."
"Did you never share the condoms I gave you with him?"
"You're absolutely nuts, mom," he grumbled into his pillow, shaking his head from the embarrassment. "Go to sleep before I'm even more traumatized."
"I love you, my boy."
"I love you too."
She placed a kiss behind his ear and settled her cheek against his shoulder blade, hugging him tightly to her. He couldn't help but feel like a little kid as she started stroking his arm again, soothing him into sleep like she'd done every night until he'd been too stubborn to sleep with her any longer. Now he remembered again how Liam must feel, why he preferred his parents' bed over his own, because feeling that kind of cared for can only be provided by someone that loves you more than themselves, the love of a parent.
"Damon?" Lauren's fingers stilled as she whispered into his ear. "Did you tell Elena about what Giuseppe did?"
"Not yet."
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