FILE 3:

THE SCI-ZONE FOR BEGINNERS

(Quick author's note at the beginning: there'll be in-character annotations as Jack, which will be marked with asterisks rather than numbers. Imagine he's hand-written notes over the page)

REPORT TO HANDSOME JACK REGARDING THE SCI-ZONE (VERSION 2)

BY DOCTOR HEATHER SAMUELS(1)

Sir, as you requested, I've gone back over my original report and heavily revised it. I still think that trimming out the vital information was a mistake: you pride yourself as a man who values information*. Anyway, I've included what I know about the Sci-Zone, as well as my personal knowledge of Snyder.

There's frankly little known about the Sci-Zone. What little there is known, I have tried to make more digestible, given that this seems to be the scientific paper's equivalent of caecal pellets**.

The Sci-Zone is a colloquial term standing for Super-Cognitive Interpretation Zone, relating to how sufferers have, while in the throes of an attack, have extremely heightened perceptive abilities and swift decision-making abilities. They also lose their morality to a great degree, and are notably…hammy, to use the colloquial term.

Although the mechanism by which the Sci-Zone occurs is still poorly understood, it seems to involve multiple parts of the brain. The Sci-Zone is often triggered by severe negative emotion, with fear, anger, and grief being notable triggers. The sympathetic nervous system, the one that causes the adrenaline rush, is also a key factor: adrenaline and other catecholamines are thought to be linked***.

Snyder is the first person to have had his brain scanned while in the Sci-Zone and out of it, and the results are interesting. There is decreased activity in the amygdala and other parts of the limbic system. In fact, the areas act as if Snyder suddenly becomes a sociopath****. This is a rather incomplete analogy, as those he is on good terms with, he will display small empathic responses.

Other parts that get activated are something of a mystery still, but I believe that they are related to his heightened perception during the Sci-Zone. In discussion with me, Snyder says that he can see biological weaknesses quite easily while in the Sci-Zone. He finds the concept understandably disturbing outside the Sci-Zone. However, he draws an analogy with the heightened perception to Doctor Joseph Bell and his famous inductive reasoning abilities. Bell was the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes, and had made many extraordinary observations about his patients, though it should be called inductive reasoning, and not deductive*****(2).

The cause of the Sci-Zone seems to be teratogenic rather than genetic. Simply put, those who have such attacks generally have been exposed to certain chemicals or elements while in the womb. It was confirmed that Snyder's mother, Sarah Snyder, was exposed to a small but significant Eridium in an accident while on consultation work with Dahl on behalf of Hyperion. While not all sufferers from the Sci-Zone have encountered pre-natal Eridium exposure (obviously, given the relative rarity of the substance prior to the Vault incident), similar substances were often linked. And the Psychos of Pandora are thought to have Eridium exposure that renders them insane and psychopathic.

There are a variety of treatments for the Sci-Zone. There are at least three known oral drugs (and I KNOW that you are chuckling at that, sir******) and one prototype in your biology department that can actually be delivered in an aerosol form. The latter is still in clinical trials, though, as there may be dangerous side effects, and yes, there are side-effects worse than having a near-lunatic scientist running around. However, Snyder has recently discontinued use of the drug he was taking, apparently on your orders. According to him, the last time he had an attack, you set that cyborg Enforcer on him. Wilhelm, was it? ******* I should remind you that Snyder is not a performing animal, nor is he to be treated like one. If you feel the need to stop him during one of his attacks, then you could use a simple anaesthetic gas pumped through the ventilation systems********.

That is all I have to say on the Sci-Zone, unless you wish for more detailed and accurate assessment.

PS. On a more personal note, I haven't heard from my wife lately. Have you already moved her to our quarters at the Preserve?*********

DOCTOR HEATHER SAMUELS

JACK'S COMMENTS

*Sammy, there's information, and then there's long-winded babble. If you're smart enough to say these words, you're smart enough to render them a bit more palatable for the guy who writes your checks.

**I looked that up! What the hell does rabbit shit have to do with it(3)?!

***Again with the big words. Still, that'd be a helluva word for Scrabble, if they've got it in the dictionary.

****And bloody hammy to boot. He's like one of those Psychos. I have expected him to scream "SEEEEMENNNN!(4)"

*****Wait, wait, wait, there was a real guy who was the basis of Sherlock Holmes? That is easily the most awesome thing you have ever told me, Sammy.

******I'm more classy than that(5).

*******Ah, that was a funny day. Luckily, I have the video recorded so I can watch it over and over again.

********Meh, Wilhelm's funner.

*********Oh, she's gonna be SO surprised. :P

FILE 3 ANNOTATIONS:

This report, obviously, is set shortly before Dr Samuels works at the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve. Snyder is still in the process of getting his PhD, hence why he is referred to as such. This is set not long after the events of the Pre-Sequel as well, so maybe two years before Borderlands 2, give or take. I dunno what the chronology is.

1. This wasn't on the Borderlands Wiki, but when I punched in Dr Samuels into Google (along with Borderlands, obviously), this came up in the results. Dunno whether it's a fan name or not, but I'm going with it.

2. Despite what Holmes would have you think, this is actually what he uses. And yes, Dr Bell was a real person.

3. Caecal pellets (or caecotropes) are basically rabbit crap that they actually eat again, believe it or not. The reason why Samuels uses this analogy is because rabbits eat caecal pellets because it is semi-digested food that they can get more nutrients from. Samuels is saying, in effect, that Jack is getting pre-digested information (as well as saying, obliquely, that Jack's request is full of shit). Jack, while intelligent, has missed the point spectacularly.

4. One of the infamous catch-cries of the Psychos.

5. No, he isn't. He was chuckling.