FILE 4:
THE SNYDER FILES FACSIMILES: THOUGHTS ON THE SECOND-GENERATION VAULT HUNTERS
(Note: This and the following Snyder Files are facsimiles of the original, procured for President Blake by Hyperion's spies within Sanctuary)
After so long travelling with them, I think perhaps I should gather my thoughts on them. It's probably best that I write this down rather than use ECHO recorders.
Originally, I was sent to Pandora, and to the Vault Hunters specifically, as Vault Hunter Attaché Associate. Jack dangled the presence of a Siren in front of me as an incentive. I was wary of them, and they were suspicious of me. Of course, over time, they became comrades. A few of them even became friends, something I would never have expected. Vault Hunters are treasure hunters and fortune seekers of the modern age, and are varied in their nature and morality, though the latter has to be somewhat flexible, especially considering that this is Pandora, a world infamous for its lawlessness.
I'll note down some impressions I got in the month or so since I first met them.
NAME: Axton.
AGE: 26.
NOTES: If there's a member of the Vault Hunters I personally dislike more than any other, then it's Axton. Don't get me wrong, in combat, he's pretty damn good, handy with just about any weapon from a pistol to a rocket launcher, and his sentry turret is a force to be reckoned with in battle. But there's a good reason he was kicked out of the Dahl military.
He's a bit like those arrogant, cocky characters Nathan Fillion liked to play back in those old TV shows. Skilled, yes, but with an ego to match. He admitted that he nearly got hauled in front of a firing squad by his commanding officer (and wife, or at least currently ex-wife), who retained enough compassion and respect for him to send him in the direction of Pandora. He apparently was picking up bounties around Pandora before Jack, who was using Angel to monitor him, lured him in. At the time, Axton found bounty-hunting too little a challenge. I guess he should have been careful what he wished for.
Axton, in many ways, is like Jack. He likes calling me Dick, and mocking me at many an opportunity. He's nowhere near as bad as Jack: unlike Jack, for all Axton's ego, he does have a sense of morality and justice. But he's also frankly got a mean streak in him.
I have little in common with the man, and he likes to tease people that he considers to be nerdy. I have little more to say about him.
NAME: Maya
AGE: 25
NOTES: Maya was the carrot that Jack dangled in front of me to get me to liaise with the Vault Hunters. After all, she was a Siren. The time we spent together, after an albeit shaky start, brought me to know her as more than just a Siren.
Her start in life was both fortunate and unfortunate. She never knew her real parents, and while the story she was told by her guardians was that she was left in the care of the Order of the Impending Storm on Athenas when she was an infant, later events suggest a more disturbing possibility: that she was kidnapped from her real parents, or that her real parents were murdered(1). When I broached those theories to her, it didn't seem like it surprised her.
The monks of the Order raised her and trained her. Maya is not only highly intelligent, but she is an excellent combatant. But the monks, or at least their leader, Brother Sophis, had another agenda: using Maya (with her Siren abilities) as a tool of fear. Sophis' condescending attitude and refusal to let her leave the Order to investigate her own heritage wore on her. She rebelled when Brother Sophis ordered her to execute a man whose only crime was to be late with his tithe, and who was terrified of Maya. Appalled, Maya killed Sophis, and left the Order. Surprisingly, some of the Order actually helped her leave. She came to Pandora. And that's where we met. In fact, one of her first acts was to use her Phaselock abilities on me and interrogate me when Hyperion's Loaders turned on us.
Over time, though, despite my admitting a scientific interest in Sirens, we grew to like each other. I think it helps that we're both intellectuals: Maya often loves reading in her downtime, and we sometimes discuss various scientific and philosophical issues. She also manages a serenity and grace at times that nobody else on Pandora can. But in battle, she's a force of nature: she can use her Phaselock to trap enemies temporarily and take them out of battle. She can also use it for other things: she saved my life when I fell off Flynt's ship, and used a powered-up version of it as part of my plan to save Angel.
I'm glad to count her as a good friend. Besides, it's better than being her enemy: she can kill people with her mind, after all.
NAME: Salvador
AGE: 36
NOTES: Salvador is the only actual Pandora native, as far as I can tell, amongst the second generation Vault Hunters. Hell, he didn't even know about the Vault or Hyperion until a Hyperion force invaded his hometown during his execution. Said execution was for massacring a group of men who were threatening his grandmother. Then again, it's not like he needs an excuse: he's got a rap-sheet taller than he is (his growth was stunted by steroid abuse).
Salvador is probably the stereotype of what people would think a Vault Hunter is like: loud, violent, and obsessed with loot and plunder. Curiously enough, though, I like him a little more than Axton, as for all his loud and obnoxious nature, he has little pretension. Not that Axton has much, but Axton is cocky, whereas Salvador…well, what you see is what you get, and he's a short, gun-obsessed powerhouse who is better to have on your side than not. Plus, dual-wielding just about any gun under the sun is pretty awesome, regardless.
NAME: Zer0
AGE: Buggered if I know
NOTES: As far as I know, there is one, maybe two or three people who know anything about who and/or what Zer0 is. Zer0 himself is obvious, but Tannis has been dropping hints that she knows more than Zer0 would like(2). And I think Maya and Zer0 are in a relationship, though whether she knows any of his secrets, she isn't telling. Angel herself couldn't find much, and considering she was hooked up to the ECHOnet, that's saying a lot. I am certain that he enjoys cultivating a mystique about himself. I doubt that he's human (he has three fingers and a thumb on each hand), and that's about all I'm willing to venture. Alien, cyborg, or robot, hell if I know what he is. In battle, you don't really need to know much, only that he's great with a sword or a sniper rifle, and that he can use a sort of hologram decoy to distract the enemy while he uses a cloaking device to go in for the kill.
He does have some quirks, though. Many times when he speaks anything beyond one or two words, he speaks in haiku. Either he has some sort of computer program ticking away in augmented language centres, or he really is that good. He also sometimes projects emoticons on his helmet, showing an occasional impish air that isn't prevalent in his utterances. He also likes a challenge: this was why he came to Pandora in the first place. A bit like Axton, only Zer0 isn't a dick.
I have to confess, I like Zer0. True, he's an enigmatic ninja assassin who could kill me in my sleep, but the guy's already saved my life twice, and he seems to be a decent guy beneath the mask, whatever he is. While it's hard to get more than a couple of words out of him without him doing a haiku, I'd like to think I have a rapport with him.
(In different handwriting)
Hide journal better,
Your secret thoughts on display,
Like a streaker's wang.
-Zer0. :P
(Snyder's handwriting)
Zer0, what the fuck, mate? So, you're allowed to have secrets, but I'm not?
(Zer0's handwriting)
Apologies, friend,
Your new station may make you
Hyperion spy.
A mere precaution
Better to seek forgiveness.
Than ask permission.
-Zer0. :(
(Snyder's handwriting)
…Okay, now that you have looked in my journal, I guess you owe me a secret.
(Zer0's handwriting)
A secret of mine?
A guilty pleasure I have:
Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged.
-Zer0. ;)
(Snyder's handwriting)
…I guess that's why you said something about trap cards when activating Decepti0n(3). Ugh, well, you still owe me a few drinks at Moxxi's.
(Zer0's handwriting)
:(
(Snyder's handwriting)
I drink frigging soft drink most of the time, you got off lightly. Imagine if I drank the stuff Hyperion execs like to.
…Wait, scratch that. I know for a fact that Jack used to serve up cheap champagne (as in, adulterated with all sorts of fun stuff like antifreeze) at dinner functions and claim it was Dom Perignon. And I think most of the execs were fooled.
Anyway, where was I?
(Zer0's handwriting)
A secret you want?
Axton likes Jane Austen Books.
Does that satisfy?
(Snyder's handwriting)
…Wow. I didn't think he liked that sort of thing. Okay, you're forgiven. For now.
(Zero's handwriting)
:/
(Snyder's handwriting)
Anyway, back to musings.
NAME: Gaige
AGE: 18
NOTES: I've mentioned Maya and Zer0 being my friends in the second generation of the Vault Hunters, but the Vault Hunter who is probably my best friend is Gaige. It's probably because she feels like she's about my age: Maya, though she's only a year older than me, acts with more poise and maturity. Maya's like the team mother. Gaige is like the little sister I never had, albeit a kickarse little sister who builds lethal robots.
Originally hailing from Eden-5 (which is where I went to university, incidentally), she was something of a prodigy in robotics and engineering. Her family was at least well-off enough for her to build her prototype anti-bullying robot, later known as Deathtrap, but she had a major rival who was richer and bitchier than her by the name of Marcie. Marcie apparently ripped off her design for Deathtrap and sold it to the local police. Gaige still tried to enter it for the local science fair, where her version showed its better engineering, but Marcie had her dad pay off the judges. And then shoved Gaige. Which was a lethal mistake, as Deathtrap saw Marcie as a threat, and attacked her. Apparently Deathtrap was so overpowered, Marcie exploded. Gaige, being all but convicted on the spot of murder, was helped to escape by her father, and she came to Pandora, partly to get away from the law, and partly because she was curious about the Vault. And once there, we met.
While she has regrets over Marcie's death, and over others' death, when fighting in battle, it's almost like she's in the Sci-Zone. She's also got this thing for anarchy (the without-order anarchy, not the without-leaders one), enjoying a bit of chaos. Seriously, she's a bit scary at times. Actually, she's a little like Tiny Tina, only more sane: she likes mayhem and destruction, and 'smashing the system', to use her words. And after gashing her arm while working on Deathtrap, she decided, instead of healing it up, she decided to make a cybernetic arm (to help her summon Deathtrap: she needed a special digistruction device and was having trouble making it portable). That's a special kind of scary. That being said, she is also endearing, and we often speak about ECHOnet shows and old TV: like me, she's a fan of Doctor Who (she sometimes yells "EXTERMINATE!" while summoning Deathtrap) amongst other things. And we also had very understanding parents. I wonder what her parents actually do? I mean, they allowed their daughter to come to Pandora, confident that she would survive, she has basic weapons training, and they were more than willing to help her escape the law on Eden-5.
She might have grown up in privilege, but Gaige is surprisingly well-suited to Pandora. And not just because of her love of mayhem. She's the sort of person who wants to improve this world, and the drive to make it happen. No less so than some of the older Vault Hunters, true, but Gaige has an enthusiasm and energy about it that was long ago wrung out of me. And for all her talk of smashing the system, she's also all for helping people. And she's enjoyable to be around. Plus she's got an interesting ECHO Log series.
NAME: Krieg
AGE: Have no idea. If my theory about him being Tina's father is true, I'd guess that he was at least in his thirties.
NOTES: It's weird, now that he's dead. I miss the bloodthirsty maniac.
I once heard Hammerlock refer to Krieg as a 'mass of rage and abdominal muscles(4)'. That's a pretty succinct way of describing Krieg. He was one of the Psychos that are infamous for infesting Pandora, complete with a mask. But unlike those Psychos, he was on our side. Okay, he screamed strange utterances about bacon, blood, and battle at the top of his lungs. He was nuttier than a squirrel's hoard and more violent than a Tarantino film. And he had this charming habit of calling me jaundice-sack (I guess it was because I was very much a coward when we first met, and when you're suffering from jaundice, you're yellow). But he was an excellent comrade (God, I'm calling a bloodthirsty psychotic a comrade), and I'd sooner would've had him at my back. Did I fuck up the tenses there?
Anyway, nobody knows much about Krieg's past, though what I discovered at the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve and his reaction suggested that he may very well have been Tiny Tina's father. Whatever past he had before, Eridium-based experimentation (at the hands of my own mentor, Doctor Heather Samuels, though Jack coerced her) drove him insane. He also seemed to have a split personality. I sympathise: the Sci-Zone and DID are different entities, but it feels like I have another personality within the Sci-Zone. The bloodthirsty personality was the one in control, but a sane persona, tired and resigned, would sometimes come through.
Krieg was, for want of a better word, unstoppable, a juggernaut. He was scary and belligerent, and yet…I felt a camaraderie, one that I think he shared. He seemed invincible, but Jack, using an anti-respawn E-Tech gun, proved otherwise. His last words to me, meant as encouragement for my wedding, was "LET THE BLOOD RUSH TO YOUR BRAIN, NOT TO YOUR CHEEKS, OR YOUR PENIS!" Not exactly the most scintillating of last words, but it's nice to think that he cared about me enough, before Jack ganked him.
I'm…not sure I want to write anymore.
(Zer0's handwriting)
A tormented man
Krieg fought beasts inside and out
He has earned his rest.
-Zer0 ;_;
(Snyder's handwriting)
…That's pretty good. We should put that on his memorial.
(Zer0's handwriting)
I already have.
-Zer0 :(
FILE 4 ANNOTATIONS:
Snyder's thoughts and feelings on his comrades. I hope you liked them.
1. It occurred to me that Maya may have been told by the monks that she had been left at their temple. I thought, given how corrupt Sophis was, that he may very well have murdered Maya's parents and stolen her from them. She is a Siren, after all. That sort of thing you would kill for.
2. I think there was an in-universe newspaper mentioned on the Borderlands Wiki that stated that Tannis knew who and what Zer0 was.
3. I like Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series. And that whole thing about activating a trap card that Zer0 uses…well, I think, given the impish sense of humour that I have given Zer0, he'd like the Abridged Series more than the original.
4. The term Hammerlock uses in a promotional trailer for Krieg. It's a good description