I woke up the next day and I had expected to see Aaron next to me. But he was not there. I then remembered why Aaron was not beside me. I sighed before I looked at the bedside table and I saw Aaron's engagement ring. A tear trickled down my face when I thought about how I had hurt the one person that I loved more than anything. I had hurt the one man who loved me unconditionally. I hesitated before I rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes. The walk downstairs was a nightmare because I passed Adam in the hallway. Vic had obviously told him about what I did and he was very angry at me for breaking his best mate's heart. I'm angry at myself, if I were Cain or anyone else in the village I would punch or slap myself. 'Why did I kiss her? Why didn't I push her away?' I thought to myself as I walked into the kitchen to have breakfast. I ended up just starring at my toast though. I could not eat or drink. 'I wander what Aaron's doing. Probably making Liv and Noah breakfast' I thought.
Breakfast was not the best or the most pleasant morning. Adam kept giving me dark looks and Vic won't talk to work. And my heart sank when I realised that Aaron was not there. I walked into the trailer and started to do some paperwork. A few minutes later I heard the sound of a car pull up outside. I stood up and looked through the window. It was Aaron. I quickly walked over to one of the desks and sat down just as the door opened and Aaron walked in. "Hiya, Grease monkey" I greeted.
"Hi, Rob" Aaron huffed.
"How are you?" I asked as Aaron sat down.
"You already know the answer to that" Aaron answered.
"How'd you sleep? I fell asleep crying because I missed you" I said in a soft voice.
"I didn't sleep. I had a nightmare about Gordon, I woke up screaming your name but then I remembered. I stayed up the rest of the night. Crying mostly and starring at a razor" Aaron admitted.
Robert sat up "Please tell me that you didn't hurt yourself".
Aaron looked at Robert "I didn't hurt myself. I just cried because you weren't with me. But then again you'd rather get a blonde rich girl, money and a big house rather than love me".
"That's not true. I want you. I cried myself to sleep last night because I missed you" Robert stood up as he spoke.
"I cried because I missed you and I was scared. I didn't sleep" Aaron then turned to walk outside but Robert grabbed his arm.
"Please. Come on, Aaron. You're my grease monkey and I love you".
"Let go of my arm, Robert" Aaron bit the skin under his bottom lip.
"Please, Aaron. I'm sorry" I stood up and pulled Aaron towards me.
Aaron had his hands on my chest and he looked like he was about to cry "So am I. I love you but you don't feel the same way about me".
I cradled Aaron's face in my hands and I kissed him. When I pulled away I looked into his teary blue eyes "I do feel the same way. Please take me back".
"Don't do this, Robert. I can't take it" Aaron pulled away and he walked outside.
"Aaron!" I stood in the doorway and watched as he started to scrap a car "I'm sorry".
Aaron didn't say anything; he just carried on working so I went and sat at one of the desks. I started to cry as I filled out paperwork, I got my phone out and unlocked it, I only did this so that I could see the picture of me and Aaron. He has such an amazing smile; I would do anything to see him smile again. I want him to smile at me again.
A few hours later Aaron left and I drove to the village. I picked up my mum's favorite flowers and I walked to the graveyard to visit my mum's grave. I kneeled down in front of the gravestone and thought about her. "Hi, mum. A lot has happened since yesterday. I broke the heart of the man I love and he won't take me back. I'm trying to get Andy home but I think that I've lost my chance. I'm such an idiot. Rebecca kissed me yesterday and Aaron saw it all. You're probably looking down at me now and want to slap me. I wouldn't blame you, I'm a disappointment. He just got out of hospital and then I do that to him. He nearly died and then he hears me say that I only care about getting Home farm. But that's not true, Aaron means more to me than anything. I just want my fiancé back. I want him to let me come home, I want him to hug me and tell me that he loves me. I want my Aaron back" I sobbed. I stayed at my mum's grave for a few minutes before I kissed my hand and placed it on the headstone as I stood up. I put my hands in my pockets and I walked through the graveyard, I then heard a soft voice and the sound of faint crying. I followed the sound of the crying but I found Aaron, he was sat in front of a grave with a can of larga in his hand. "Aaron?"
Aaron looked up at me and he quickly wiped away his tears "What d'you want?"
"I was visiting my mum. What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I'm visiting Jackson" Aaron answered.
"Do you talk to him? I talk to my mum" I said as I knelt down next to Aaron.
"Yeah, though it takes a lot of energy for someone to listen to me complaining, and feeling sorry for myself all of the time". Aaron smiled.
There it is, that amazing smile makes my world light up "I like to listen to you talk. You have a beautiful voice".
"I bet that listening to me always makes your day depressing" Aaron laughed.
"More like you make my day better" I nudged Aaron's shoulder with my own shoulder.
Aaron's smile disappeared and he sniffled as he wiped away his tears "I should go".
I grabbed his wrist as he went to stand up "Aaron don't go".
"Robert, don't do this" Aaron sighed.
"Can we just talk?" I pleaded.
"There's nothing to talk about" Aaron answered.
"Take me back, Aaron" I begged.
"You kissed Rebecca. In our home, I'd just come home from hospital and we had just gotten engaged" Aaron looked at Robert.
"I know, I'm sorry" I said in a remorseful voice.
"You've hurt me, Robert. You said that I don't matter to you" Aaron said in a sad voice.
"I was using her. I don't care about Rebecca or Home farm, I only care about you" I held onto his hand like my life depended on it, and to be honest it feels like it does.
"I can't do this again, Rob. I don't want to have to share you with someone else again" Aaron pulled his wrist out of my grasp "I gotta go" he stood up and walked away.
"Aaron!" I called but he didn't come back. I spent the rest of the day sat in the living room at Vic's house. I drank and I drank until I passed out from all of the alcohol. I had a nightmare about losing Aaron and I woke up crying, "I miss him. I miss my Aaron" I sobbed as I curled up on the sofa and pulled a blanket over me. "What have I done to him? How could I hurt him like that? I just want my fiancé back, I need my Aaron back".