OMAKE 4:

CLAPTRAP'S PARTY (C)

"Unce! Unce! Unce! Oh check me out, I'm dancing! I'm dancing!"

I resisted the urge to facepalm with considerable difficulty as Claptrap 'danced'. It had been a few weeks since Jack's death, and I couldn't believe that Angel and Tim had persuaded me to come here. The only other ones to come were Maya and Gaige, who were back from their latest trip to Overlook. Gaige had some sympathy for the robot, as did Maya. Tim had fought alongside Claptrap on Elpis, so I was told, and Angel had admitted that she thought the Claptrap line was endearing.

And me? Well, Angel wanted me to come. And I preferred not to disappoint her.

Even so, the venue for the event, Claptrap's 7th birthday, left a lot to be desired. Claptrap lived in one of Sanctuary's more seedy alleyways. And Claptrap himself was obnoxious and stupid. Not actually malicious, at least not most of the time, but he was like a loud, whiny, opinionated kid, self-centred and thinking he was funny.

Not to mention that it was this particular Claptrap who sparked off the Claptrap Revolution five years back. According to Roland (with Blake being rather circumspect about the matter), Hyperion had reprogrammed Claptrap to become a sort of character assassin, designed to ruin the Vault Hunter's reputation. But Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap (or INAC) decided instead to spark a robot revolution, to free his brother Claptraps from bondage.

I didn't like Claptraps before the Robolution, as it was dubbed. And I was visiting my parents on Pandora at the time it happened during a break at uni, and had to help them fend off Claptraps attacking, screaming "EXTERRRRMINAAAAATE!" and "Fleshies, dead ahead!" So I had more than a little hatred for the line, justifiably so. An AI was one thing, I had no problems with normal AI that acted like a normal, decent person, but obnoxious AI was another. Hell, I'd rather have conversations with GlaDOS, frankly. I'd have had more interesting conversation, even if she wanted to kill me, and I am sure she would've found the Sci-Zone fascinating.

Still, it was a sad fact of life that I had attended worse birthday parties. Like my own 24th, and my most recent. It was not long after my parents had died, and after one of my worst attacks of the Sci-Zone. Nobody came. Dave was on holiday, and just about everyone else I knew was either dead, away from Helios, or avoiding me. The best part about it was that Jack gave me the day off, and even then, he made it clear that it was intended as a token gesture.

It's only in retrospect now that I realise how needlessly cruel and spiteful he was to me. Not that I was the only one to get that treatment, but he seemed to make it personal with me. I think I know why. I had loved Angel, albeit in a rather childish way. And she still loved me. And he knew it, and so went out of his way to make me suffer, and thus, by proxy, her.

Mean bastard. I was glad he was dead.

I wasn't the only one present who thought so, though in Sanctuary, that wasn't difficult to find. The city's population was almost entirely composed of people who had a grievance with Jack. Of course, too many of them didn't seem to understand the difference between Jack and Hyperion, that with Blake in charge, Hyperion was changing for the better. It was still a heartless corporate entity, true, but it at least knew how to keep promises rather than stab you in the back. Or so I hoped. Blake was a slimy bugger, but the Crimson Raiders trusted him, to a point.

After showing off his terpsichorean skills (or lack thereof: maybe it should be called in Claptrap's case derpsichorean skills(1)), Claptrap decided to mingle. And he decided to plump for being next to Angel and myself. I think I could understand his reasoning. I didn't like the little bugger, but Angel had a liking for the Claptrap robots, something she had admitted in Gaige's ECHO log broadcast not long ago.

For a time, we sat in awkward silence. I was amazed Claptrap didn't speak. Usually, the problem was getting the verbose little shit to shut up. I'd remembered, after asking Tim about Claptrap and the events on Elpis, actually going to see Claptrap, and asking him about what had happened. He was a boastful little shit, though, and a good chunk of what he said had to be taken with a small hill of salt. I had jotted down some notes about him in a journal of mine, and had written that I hadn't known his age. He was seven years old today. Which meant he was two when the Vault Hunters first came.

The thought sent a chill through my mind. What was it like, to wake up fully sentient, with a fully-formed set of personality traits within, but without any memories? What would it be like to have one's own personality changed according to the whim of a programmer?

Claptrap acted like a child. A petulant, foul-mouthed child with many adult characteristics. But in truth, that was probably because he was a child. The thought put a whole new chilly perspective on him. There's that old cliché about a man being the sum of his memories. What if those memories were continually altered and erased?

"…I wish he was here," Claptrap said suddenly.

"Who?" Angel asked.

"Steve," Claptrap said.

"Oh," I muttered, remembering the cheerful bandit with the single-word vocabulary. "I'm sorry about that."

"Nah, you don't have to be. Jack was the one who ganked Steve, and you ganked Jack right back," Claptrap said. "And Nisha. Tried to get that Zer0 dude to high-five me for chopping off Wilhelm's head, but, well, he only has four fingers, and he was a bit reluctant. Actually, I should thank you for blowing Jack's head off."

"You're…welcome," I said. "I did it mostly for Angel and myself, though. We'd never be free without him dead."

"…How did it feel?" Claptrap asked. I blinked. I thought he'd ask it in a loud, obnoxious tone. But instead, it was quiet, almost compassionate.

"…Like I needed to get a drink and wash my hands afterwards," I admitted. "Took a day just to feel relief."

"…Same here," Angel said.

"Huh…" Claptrap looked out at Sanctuary. Then, his voice was back to its chirpy, cheerful self. "Actually, you know what I need? A holiday!"

"A holiday?" I asked. What would a robot do on holiday?

"Yeah, an old pal contacted me, said he had a deal for me for a flight to Aegrus."

Aegrus? That was a relatively small continent on Pandora. I knew only a little bit about it, mostly to do with the wildlife. Apparently Dahl used to have a small presence there, doing prospecting, but pulled out of that area, and left the convicts they had as a labour force there. They had apparently degenerated into savages. This was some decades before Dahl pulled out of the rest of Pandora(2).

Why would an old pal want to send Claptrap there? Surely there were easier ways of getting rid of the robot?

"Why Aegrus?" Angel asked.

"Why not Aegrus?" Claptrap responded. "Anyway, I'll be off through the Fast-Travel Station tomorrow. Thanks for blowing Jack's head off. He had it coming. Closest thing to a birthday present I ever had. Douchebag wiped out my entire line." He then looked up to Angel. "And thanks for getting the Vault Hunters to repair me five years ago in Fyrestone."

"You remembered?" Meeting my eyes, she explained, "I did a diagnostic for them using my Phase-shift, and directed them on how to repair Claptrap. Claptrap saw me."

"An angel of mercy if there ever was one!" Claptrap said cheerfully, and with such sincerity that I couldn't help but smile. I shared his sentiment. "You're lucky to have this babe as your wife, Doc!"

Well, at least he wasn't calling me Dick, like when we first met. And he was right. I was lucky. And for Claptrap to be so sincere, instead of his childish self…I smiled. "Thanks, Claptrap. Hope you enjoy your holiday."

"It's gonna be awesome!" Claptrap cheered.

OMAKE 4 ANNOTATIONS:

This will probably be the last tale to be contributed to this work for a while. I hope you enjoy it, though. It's set after Snyder writes his thoughts on Claptrap down, but before Claptrap takes his holiday. And yes, that means he's going to interfere in Nakayama's plans.

I thought I would add why Snyder hates Claptraps specifically. I think trying to fight them off during the Claptrap Revolution would engender a hatred of them. I also wanted to include a nice moment where Claptrap actually has a more human element to him. As Claptrap will play a big role in the latter half of Welcome to the Jungle, I thought I'd also get him to be on better terms with Snyder.

1. Terpsichorean means relating to dance and dancing. 'Derpsichorean' is a term I made up (though doubtlessly some internet wag's already coined it before) whose meaning should be fairly obvious.

2. It bothered me as to how the savages, clearly human, ended up on Aegrus in the first place. This was my attempt to explain it, as well as some of the older structures you see in Aegrus.