ZAGREUS' SONG

CHAPTER 2:

CATCH-A-RIDE!

I have something of a gift: being able to wake up swiftly, especially when danger is concerned. So it was to only the surprise of the man whose throat I held my sword to that, within three seconds, I was awake, on my feet, and having a sword at his throat. Yes, redundant statement there. Sue me.

I was also aware of our surroundings. We were in the middle of the Deep Fathoms, part of a desert that used to be an inland sea. Not far away was the infamous Underdome of Mad Moxxi, a local figure of some renown, apparently.

"Holy shit-nuggets!" the man yelped in a nasal drawl that would have marked him as being from the South, and from the less-cultured regions of the South, if we were on Earth. "How the fuck did you do that?"

"With difficulty," I said. I assessed the man, who appeared to be in his twenties, albeit aged by this godforsaken planet. He was shorter than I was, dressed in stained clothing. He wore a baseball cap with the silhouette of a naked, voluptuous woman with a tyre next to it. I frowned as I recalled the files on known persons of prominence on Pandora. "Your name is Scooter?"

"Uh-huh. Hey, is you Crimson Lance?"

"Not anymore." I removed the sword from his throat. "Scooter Hodunk, proprietor of the Catch-A-Ride vehicle digistruction stations," I said out loud.

He grinned. "Yeah, that's right. Catch-a-riiiide!" he brayed.

SCOOTER

Mechanics Is His Best Stat. Charisma Is His Dump Stat.

"I'm Zagreus, former Crimson Lance Psychological Warfare Operative and Assassin, Eris Group." My eyes flickered just behind his shoulder. "And that lovely young woman currently training an SMG on your skull is my sister, Athena, former Lance Assassin Omega Squadron Operative."

"Stand up slowly, and your hands above your head, please," Athena said. She kept her SMG aimed at Scooter's head.

"Hey, I've got little on me!" Scooter said. "Whaddya trying to do, rob me?"

"The question is, what were you going to do?" Athena said, before frisking Scooter with a grimace of distaste. It was clear that she didn't enjoy touching his stained clothing, even with her bodysuit's gloves on her hands. She found something, and fished out a pistol from his jacket. The fact she could hold her SMG in one hand steadily said a lot about her strength.

"Hey, girl, that's jus' for self-defence. You'd be pretty dumb goin' into these lands without protection," Scooter protested.

"I know. What were you doing here?"

Scooter looked at me, a plea in his eyes. I raised an eyebrow. Eventually, he said, "I saw youse guys racin' away from one of the Lance bases. When I saw the Lancer get blowed up, I thought, well, why not salvage some parts? But then I saw youse guys appear closer to me. So, I thought I'd do the gentlemanly thing and help. I mean, if youse guys were getting blowed up while runnin' from the Lance, you may not be on the best of terms with them, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

My eyes flickered over to Athena, and nodded slightly. Athena then lowered her weapon. She then turned Scooter around by the shoulder, and handed his pistol back to him. "Sorry. But we need to be sure. We're both deserters from the Lance. There'll be a price on our heads."

Scooter scoffed. "Well, I fer one don' care! Lissen, while there be plenty o' folk who will turn youse in, most of the folk in New Haven and T-Bone Junction hate Atlas. Of course, that's a good reason ter lay low. They might try to kill you guys anyway. I know a place."

"Like where?" I asked, frowning.

"Well, see that lil place over yonder?" He pointed towards the Underdome. Casually, he said, "My mom owns it."

Scooter was annoying, with a high-pitched nasal bray for a voice with an accent so redneck, it wasn't funny. He wondered about my own accent, so I said I had originally come from Elpis. Which was the truth, or at least near enough. I guess Scooter hadn't heard an Australian accent before.

Even so, while annoying, I could tell he had a decent heart. More or less. I was rarely wrong with my impressions of people: my ability to process information, particularly biological information, meant that I could tell if someone was lying. Most of the time, anyway. Microexpressions and all that(1).

As he drove us away from our crash site in one of his vehicles, he asked, "How in the hell didja get away from that explosion? I don' think ya coulda been thrown free from that there wreck."

"Personal teleport devices," Athena said. "They have a setting Zagreus suggested be implemented in our own PTDs. A Hostile Action Displacement System, or HADS. He got the idea from an old TV show(2)."

"Basically, if it's on, when hostile action is sensed nearby, it teleports us over a relatively short distance, out of immediate danger," I explained. "Can't use that all the time in battle, obviously, but when a quick getaway is needed…"

"Hooeee, thass gotta come in handy," Scooter said with considerable understatement. He then gave me a sly look. "Hey, by the way, have you ever met that Steele chick?"

"Commandant Steele?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I only saw a few ECHO broadcasts of her. Heart colder than ice, and she looked like she could get more sun, but hooeee, she hadda body! Ever seen her naked?"

I glanced at Athena and smirked, before I said, "Actually, I have."

"Wait, what?!" Scooter yelped.

"Yeah, that's right." I kept smirking. While I was telling the truth here, I was really only saying this to see what reaction I could get from the mechanic. Athena merely rolled her eyes, but the faintest of smiles was touching her lips. "As an operative, I have to know a variety of skills. Would you believe she taught both of us how to seduce people if necessary?"

"Whoa, no way, dude!" Scooter exclaimed. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Athena said. It was an interesting experience. Apparently seduction classes was one of Steele's few known vices. The woman was so uptight and commanding and domineering. I guess seduction classes allowed her to blow off steam without blowing someone's head off.

"She was also a Siren," I added. "Actually, I heard another Siren was there when Steele became a shish-kebab."

"Oh yeah, Lilith. Nice gal. Not somebody yer wanna mess with, though, her or her friends. You do know she's a Vault Hunter, right?"

"We saw the wanted posters for the four of them," Athena said. "Though whoever chose the photos was…unprofessional." I noticed she had avoided saying 'pervert'. "He chose one that focused on Lilith's chest."

Scooter chuckled, and then said, in a somewhat darker tone, "Speakin' of chests, I'll thank you to keep your hands to yerself with my mom. She gets around a bit, but the last guy who hurt her, I buried alive.(3)"

"You can try," I said. "If I really wanted to, I could have your head off by the time your hands touch your gun. Though given who your mother is, you wouldn't have to worry about me getting away with anything. She'd probably have a good go at killing me herself."

Scooter left us near the entrance to the Underdome after ECHOing his mother. A pair of thugs were at the door, looking intimidating…well, enough to intimidate the usual bandit. I reckoned I could have taken their heads before their weapons cleared their holsters.

"Who're you guys? Atlas? If you're here to watch the games, just remember, don't cause any trouble. Or are you here to fight in the Underdome itself?" asked one of them.

"Neither," Athena said. "We're here to see Moxxi. Scooter said he ECHOed ahead."

"Sam, watch them." The first thug went inside for a minute, before coming back out. "Okay, Moxxi will see you. But you'll be escorted there. And you will have to give your weapons to the storage bank inside."

"Yeah, how about no?" I said. "Look, I understand why you want our weapons, you're just doing your jobs and all, but I'm not going unarmed into a situation where I could be betrayed."

"Zagreus," Athena hissed.

"Fine. You can take our guns, but we're keeping our swords. And Athena can keep her Aspis."

"The shield thing?" the first thug asked. "Fine. But any trouble, and we force-feed you lead sandwiches. Got it?"

"Crystal clear, mate," I said, handing the man my sniper rifle. "But I don't want it fucked around with, or I'll go all Alucard on your arse."

The man snorted, but took the rifle with all due care, along with Athena's weapons. He frowned when he saw the buttons as we walked into the Underdome's reception area. "It can switch between elements?"

"Yeah, and I said not to fuck around with it. If you have enough money and ask Maliwan nicely, they might sell you one. Can't get that one through Marcus, not easily, anyway."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," purred a sultry voice, whose owner emerged from a doorway, strutting towards us in a sensual manner. She was dressed in a crimson, fetishized version of the Mad Hatter's outfit, albeit with elements of the Red Queen. Her face was covered in stylised make-up that made her look vaguely doll-like. A top hat was perched on her hair at a jaunty angle. Despite looking like some stripper in a themed erotic establishment, she moved with dangerous grace and authority, like a predatory cat on the prowl. "Having been married to the man, I know that there's very little he can't get."

"Mad Moxxi, I presume," Athena said.

"Got in in one, sugar," she purred, smiling. "But you can call me Moxxi."

MAD MOXXI

Beautiful Buxom Bloodsports Babe

"And you two are the Atlas defectors that my son radioed ahead about," she added. "So…I wonder, what are you doing here? What do you intend to do here?"

I looked at Athena. She was the one with the plan, usually. I had a vague idea of it, true, that we were going to strike back at Atlas, but she usually had something more planned in mind. I was more spontaneous. After all, the old cliché went that no plan survived contact with an enemy.

"Take revenge on Atlas," Athena said. "They took our families away. Zagreus and I are siblings save by blood, but the Crimson Lance tricked us into murdering our respective blood families. We intend to take them down, but we can't do it alone. It was lucky that we met, as I am aware that you have contacts on Pandora who may be able to help."

Moxxi frowned, considering this. Of course, there was little reason to trust us. "I'll tell you what…" she said. "You tell me some intelligence that might be of some use to us…and if it pans out, I'll contact some associates of mine. Last I heard, they're in Jakobs' Cove(4)."

"Let me guess, the Vault Hunters," I said. "The ones who were there when Steele got shish-kebabed."

"Yeah. Hope there's no hard feelings," Moxxi said.

"More likely that they'd have hard feelings against us," Athena mused. "We are Atlas, after all, former or not."

"All but one of them are sensible enough to listen anyway," Moxxi said. "Roland, Lilith, Mordecai, they do listen. Brick might be a bit harder to persuade. Now, talk…"

In the end, it took only a few hours for Moxxi to confirm the intel we gave her, which was mostly some decryption ciphers for the comms systems of the Crimson Lance. She was smirking when she came back to us. She had us brought to the Red Light, a bar near the Underdome.

I have to admit, she was attractive, and more than just her physical appearance. For all that she made herself out to be a sexpot, Moxxi had subtler nuances to her as well.

"So, now that your intel has worked out, I guess I can trust you a little," Moxxi said. Although she still had the flirtatious attitude, it was now more subdued, and her attitude more serious. "Your escape has made waves, you know, and not just because of that bomb you left behind. The top operative of the Lance Assassin Omega Squadron, and the most terrifying psychological warfare operative in Eris Squad."

"You flatter me," I said with a grin, giving Moxxi a bow.

"Quiet, Zagreus," Athena said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Comms chatter from Atlas is filled with panic. Already, the top brass is ordering higher bounties for you than the Vault Hunters," Moxxi said. "And before you ask, no, I won't be collecting. I want Atlas gone as much as you do, and you would be very useful in taking out the occupying force. But the Vault Hunters will be your best allies in taking down Atlas. They managed to give Steele a hard time, as you well know, and they've been the top fighters to participate in my tournaments for some time."

Suddenly, a shrill beeping emitted from Moxxi's ECHO device. "Well, well, well," she purred. "Speak of the devil, and they shall appear. They've come to T-Bone Junction. I can have you contact them. Which of you will do the honours?"

"The floor's all yours, sister," I said. "Remember when they wanted you to be a spokesperson for the propaganda films? You would've been great!"

"Bullshit. I have choked on the disingenuous lies forged by their corporate greed all my life, and it is a meal I will no longer stomach(5)."

"See?" I said, grinning. "You always did have a way with words, sister."

She scowled, but began speaking into the ECHO. Of course, while having allies would be good, I knew that, regardless of whether the Vault Hunters would help, I would do anything to bring Atlas down, both for my sister, and my blood family. Nothing else mattered.

CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:

Another chapter down. We've met Scooter and Mad Moxxi. And finally, the events of the DLC proper will begin to take place, albeit from Snyder/Zagreus' point of view.

Anyway, here's the details of Zagreus' Action Skill, as well as his (tentative) skill trees…

ACTION SKILL: Dionysian Dance. Similar to Krieg's Buzz-Axe Rampage. Zagreus basically goes into a berserker mode where he takes less damage and does massive melee damage.

SKILL TREE 1: Why So Serious? Designed to enhance the Dionysian Dance. Ultimate Skill: Zantetsuken. When triggered during his Action Skill, Zagreus kills all enemies within a predetermined radius instantly, at the cost of halting his Action Skill.

SKILL TREE 2: Could I Have a Hug? Named for Melvin/Dark Marik's catchphrase in Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, this skill tree focuses more on buffs for Zagreus and his comrades, as well as debuffs for the enemy. Ultimate Skill: Eris' Touch. Enemies shot by Zagreus have a chance to turn on their comrades.

SKILL TREE 3: Little Yellow Boxes. Named for Deadpool's signature thought boxes, these are mostly concerned with buffing Zagreus' melee, sniper rifle, and grenade abilities. Ultimate Skill: undecided.

1. Microexpressions are considered to be one of the few reliable means of telling whether someone is lying or not, and one of their key researchers, Paul Ekman, was the inspiration for Dr Lightman in Lie to Me.

2. Namely Doctor Who, and specifically, the story The Krotons. The HADS is a special system of the TARDIS that causes it to dematerialise if attacked, and then rematerialize when the danger has passed.

3. A reference to Lucky Zaford.

4. Which sets this scene in the last moments of The Zombie Island of Dr Ned.

5. Cribbed from Athena's opening lines in The Secret Armoury of General Knoxx.