FLY ME TO THE MOON

CHAPTER 3:

MOONFALL

As we scurried into an office, an ECHO communication came through. Although meant for Jack, it came through to all of our ECHOs. The avatar showed a fussy-looking man, and the caption said 'Tassiter'. Oh yes, the CEO of Hyperion. And all-round arsehole, if the Atlas file on him was any good.

"Jack, what the hell is going on?" Tassiter demanded. "I'm getting reports of alarms going off all over Helios…"

"Nothing sir," Jack said hastily. "Just, uh…one of the Claptrap units decided to try French-kissing a light-socket."

Tassiter groaned. "Need I remind you that you are there to observe Pandora, nothing more. If you incur any damages to Helios Space Station…"

I snarled, and punched the transmission key on my ECHO device. "Ahoy there, Tassiter!" As Jack looked at me in horror, and waved at me to be quiet, I continued, "There are damages being incurred to Helios, but by a bunch of nutjob Dahl nutjobs."

"Oh, son of a taint…" Jack groaned quietly, burying his face in his hands.

"…Who is this?" Tassiter asked, bemused.

"Zagreus, one half of the magnificent mercenary sibling duo Athena and Zagreus." Athena facepalmed. "Sorry, we were in the area, looking to head to Elpis, try and seek our fortune you know, when these Dahl arseholes fired on our ship and sent it off-course, crashing into Helios. Now some rogue Dahl nutjobs are trying to take Helios over. Unfortunately, the defences are being jammed by a signal coming from Elpis. So we've got to find a way to get to Elpis and stop whatever's fucking with Helios' defences. Any questions?"

Tassiter spluttered in confusion, before finally saying, "I have plenty. But for now, if you do manage to get rid of the jamming signal, then I will overlook your 'coincidental' appearance on Helios. Jack, do not fail me. Tassiter out."

Jack let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding. "Okay…may just have saved my bacon there."

"For the second time. First time it was physically, second time it was metaphorically." I grinned winningly. Only for Athena to cuff me on the back of the head.

"You got lucky there," Athena muttered.

I looked at Lilith. "I should really skip past the next few bits. Only a couple more interesting bits happened before we reached the moonshot cannon. The first was that Jack demanded what Zarpedon wanted. She actually replied."

"What did she say?"

"That she wanted Helios, and she wanted to save the universe."

The golden-eyed woman blinked. "Huh. That sounds a bit like hyperbole."

"True, but given what happened later, well…anyway, the second thing that happened was that we fought this Dahl guy in a flamethrower-equipped mecha. Yelled something like 'be cleansed with heat' or something like that. I find it hard to describe a battle, anyway. I usually just go with the flow, and slice and dice things up. His mecha was already damaged when he arrived, anyway, though he put up a fight when it got destroyed. Anyway, we got to the moonshot cannon, had to use a moonshot bullet instead of a lift, blah blah blah…and then, some Dahl arsehole shot the moonshot control panel. The upshot was that someone had to stay behind because the automated systems were fucked. Now, I know you're not going to believe this, but Jack volunteered to stay behind."

"Bullshit," Lilith growled, her eyes narrowing.

"Hey, I have the ECHO recording to prove it. I was worried we weren't going to get paid, so I started recording it on my ECHO so that I could put Tassiter on the spot should Jack bite the dust." I pressed a button on the ECHO device on my arm.

Athena's voice came out. "You're staying? You'll likely die."

"Yeah," said Wilhelm. "I'd better get paid if you bite it."

"Eh, you guys saved my life a couple of times, I'm repaying the favour," Jack said. "Besides, I'm a hero, baby. Self-sacrifice is part of the job."

Lilith made a gagging noise.

My voice came from the ECHO recorder. "Okay, Jack, but there's one thing that I want as well as the money, assuming we all survive."

"What's that, Dick?"

"…I'm Zagreus. And I want to talk to someone I haven't seen for years."

"…You mean my daughter, right?" Jack sighed. "Help me with the Vault, and I'll think about it."

"Okay. Now, listen up you lot. Take these, and put them on your shoulders. They're OZ Kits. Basic devices for forcefield-based counterpressure and oxygenation. I bought them when I heard we were going to Elpis. Luckily, I had spares."

"Who died and made you leader, hmm?" came the haughty tones of Lady Hammerlock.

"I'm not. Think of me as a quartermaster. Someone who, while crazy, also has just enough common sense. I mean, I assume you're not into suffocation?"

"Not outside the bedroom," Nisha's voice said.

"Then put them on. Claptrap, I've even got one for you. I know you don't need oxygen, but OZ Kits can also be used as a jetpack. But the jetpack function uses your oxygen supply. Don't piss it up the wall."

I stopped the recording. "Sounded like you led that group," Lilith mused.

"It was more Athena and myself. She was the leader, and I was her second in command. Wilhelm and Nisha didn't like it, and nor did that bitch Hammerlock. Anyway, Jack had formulated some brilliantly insane plan to get to Elpis via the moonshot. Crazy as shit, and we nearly died in the process, but we got there. Just as well I got those OZ Kits too. He deluded himself into thinking he was a hero, but given what we saw later…well, he was pretty self-delusional. Especially knowing what I know now."

"…Why did you ask Jack about his daughter? I didn't know he had one."

"True. But you know her." I looked up at her. "Not very well, AS you've only seen her as an image on your ECHO. I've known her since she was a girl my age. We both had unusual conditions. I had the Sci-Zone. And she was a Siren."

Lilith's eyes widened. "A Siren? Who is she?"

"Her name is Clarke. Angel Clarke. Does that give you enough of a hint?"

Lilith's eyes widened. "Jack's daughter…is the Guardian Angel?!"

"Yeah. And I'm certain that she's not a willing accomplice."

The older Siren ran a hand through her fire-red hair, before she shook her head. "Okay, never mind about Angel for the time being. Back to your story…"

The landing on Elpis was definitely a rough one, and I ended up at the bottom of a pile of several people. A voice was calling over the ECHO devices on our wrists. "Hello? Hello? Are ya listening in there?" It was the distinctive Aussie twang common to many inhabitants of Elpis. And there was something about the ECHO avatar, of a young blonde woman, that was vaguely familiar.

"Yes, we copy," Athena said, getting to her feet, as did everyone else. "Is everyone all right?"

A series of various affirmatives rang out, culminating in me saying, "My dignity has been crippled, never to walk again. But otherwise, I'm fine."

"Well, you're far from fine, mates," came the voice from outside. "You're about to die. There's only limited oxygen in that container, and once ya open it up, all the air's going to vent."

"We've all got OZ Kits…hopefully not damaged." I checked mine over, and did the same with the others. "Yeah, we're good."

"Okay, nice. You sound like ya come from these parts, mate. Nice preparation. Okay, well, when you're ready, open her up, and follow me to my place. It's not too far."

Wilhelm smashed the button, and we were blown out of the container by the outrushing air. The woman who was waiting nearby as our OZ Kits deployed was blonde, dressed in jeans, a midriff-baring tank top, and a jacket, the distinctive helmet-like forcefield of an OZ Kit over her head. She had short blonde hair, dark eyes, a bandage on her nose, and burn scars over part of her neck and midriff.

I blinked as I recognised her. "Janey? Little Janey Springs?!"

JANEY SPRINGS

Good Heart. Great Scavenging. Bad Writing.

She blinked as she peered at me. "Do I know you?"

"You knew who I used to be. Look, can we get to some sort of shelter?"

"Sure."

Back in school, Janey Springs wasn't exactly a friend. I had pretty much none of those, especially with the Sci-Zone hanging over my head. But we were on fairly good terms. She was a cute, rambunctious little thing. For some weird reason, she tended to speak with a stronger Aussie accent than the norm, sounding a bit like Crocodile Dundee.

We made it back to her outpost, which she called Ozless Harbour. I couldn't help but notice that Janey's eyes roved up and down Athena's body appreciatively. I knew my sister batted for the same team, but it was a mild surprise to notice Janey did so too(1).

Introductions were made. She cooed appreciatively at Wilhelm's beard and cybernetic eye, and gave a rather flat response towards Jack's double's attempt at flirting. She then peered at me. "Actually, if she's Athena, does that make you Zagreus? One of the two Crimson Lance deserters who helped the Vault Hunters off Knoxx?"

"Indeed."

"Strange. You seem to know me, but I know I don't remember a Zagreus…" Suddenly, a switch seemed to flick in her head, and her eyes widened. "Whoa, wait a tick! Dick Snyder? Poor little kid who had the mad scientist thing in his head? Got kidnapped? You're Dick Snyder?"

"…I was."

Her face fell, and she peered at me. "...Strewth, what the hell did Atlas did to you?"

"Hell is the right word," Athena said. "He and I went through much of the same hell. It's how we came to call each other siblings. Listen, as much as I hate to break up the reunion, we have a job to do. Miss Springs…"

Janey gave a winning smile. "Call me Janey."

"Janey…okay, well, we just came from Helios. There's a jamming signal that we need to get rid of, a signal that Colonel Zarpedon is using to help her conquer Helios. Would you have any idea?"

"Nope. I'd say, go to Concordia, and talk to the bloke in charge there, the Meriff. The problem is, the bridge is out, and my Moon Zoomy digistruct stations are out of commission, thanks to some arsehole Scav called Deadlift."

"Scav?" the double asked.

"Scavenger," I said. "Local name for the arsehole bandits here."

"Got it in one, Dick," Janey said cheerfully. "I'm not much of a fighter: it's been all I could do to fight off the Scavs Deadlift has sent after me before. But if you could do me a favour, I can get you a Moon Zoomy to get across to Concordia. My Fast-Travel Station is busted, otherwise, I would have used that. Deadlift has the digistruct key for the Moon Zoomy. Plus, he's an arsehole who didn't take kindly to me when I said I wasn't into men."

"Ah," the double said. "Sorry about the flirting earlier."

"It's fine," Janey said, waving off the apology. "Anyway, Deadlift was a convict once imprisoned by Zarpedon. Nasty bugger. Kill him, get the digistruct key, and then we can all get to Concordia."

We were checking our equipment before our expedition to kill Deadlift and retrieve the digistruct key. I was looking over our Oz Kits when Janey approached me. "God…you've changed, Dick."

"It's Zagreus now," I said quietly. I then began singing, quietly.

Zagreus sits inside your head,

Zagreus lives among the dead,

Zagreus sees you in your bed

And eats you when you're sleeping(2)…

"Wow…that…was creepy as hell," Janey said.

I chuckled. "You don't know the half of it. You remember me being in the Sci-Zone. Imagine what it's like for me to be in it, 24/7. All that information sleeting through my head. The reason I'm not hammy all the time is because it's exhausting…but almost all of my morals died when Richard Snyder did. Screaming for his parents. Screaming for Angel."

"Angel?"

"Oh, that's right. She didn't go to our school. She was, frankly, my only friend." I turned to her. "Zagreus is another name for Dionysus, a god of insanity. Atlas wanted a monster…and that's what they got. They called me the Sword-Dancer, Mr Hyde, the Bloody Blade of the Crimson Lance, the Male Lance Assassin."

"And you helped Athena and the Vault Hunters oust General Knoxx."

I chuckled ruefully. "Yeah. Poor old Knoxxie. I wish we didn't have to kill him. He was one of the saner officers in the entire Crimson Lance. He was a nice guy when he wasn't trying to kill us, and frankly, he had a point about the higher-ups. But he was willing to do his duty until he was finished with his mission on Pandora. And that meant trying to kill us. I take issue when people try to kill my friends and family. Atlas tricked me into killing my parents…and put out a hit on my sister and I." I leaned forward confidentially. "By the way, she doesn't really get into flirting while on a mission. Wait till it's over, and then make your move."

"Wait, you mean she's into girls?"

"Yeah. So am I, but I need to find the right woman." I grinned, although it felt somewhat hollow. "Anyway, once this is all over, then feel free to approach her. Or else, you know, try to be a shoulder to lean on when bad shit happens. I'm not the most comforting of people, you see, being a bloodthirsty nutjob."

She nodded, before peering at an electronic port on my temple, half-hidden by my hair. She whistled. "Nice cyberneural port."

"Thanks," I said. "That's part of how they turned my Sci-Zone on 24/7. I sometimes just plug a music player in, but I can do some instinctive programming in here. I could probably lobotomise an AI core within seconds if I had it plugged in. No wireless, though. Don't want to be prey to every malware out there on the ECHOnet."

"It was almost like I was Richard Snyder again, meeting Janey," I said ruefully to Lilith. "She's a nice girl. I think Athena will be very happy with her. Assuming we all get out of this alive."

Don't worry, Ricky. You will, came a voice into my head.

"Thanks for the comfort, but I know harsh reality."

"Who're you speaking to?"

"Spoilers. I haven't gotten to that part of the story yet. Anyway, you know damn well who I'm speaking to. I told you earlier. Let's just say I need all the Happiness in my head I can get…"

CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:

So, they've made it to Elpis, and present-day Ricky has someone in his head. A bit of foreshadowing there. Who is it? Wouldn't you like to know… (Though there's a few clues already)

I skipped over a lot of the crap on Helios because I wanted to get to Elpis quicker. That, and, like Zagreus, I'm crap at writing battle scenes.

1. Keep in mind that Zagreus hasn't seen Janey since they were kids, and Janey wouldn't have given any signs of her orientation then, obviously. He probably thought of her as a tomboy.

2. This is the first verse of the Zagreus nursery rhyme, which is used as an arc theme throughout many of the early releases of the Doctor Who Big Finish audios.