Chapter 8 – Renewed determination

Austin's P.O.V.

You're supposed to be dead.

Dead? Ally thinks I died? I stop midstride and stare at her. Well, it might explain why she looks so horrified when she looks at me.

Ally flips the notebook back to her when she sees that I make no move and continues writing.

You're not real.

All the blood drains from my head and I have to clutch the bed rail besides Ally for support because my feet weld themselves to the floor. Whatever happened to her? How is it that I am not even real to her?

"Tha-that's not true!" I sputter, not really sure how can I make Ally see I'm real? Make her understand that whatever she thought had happened isn't true?

My eyes scan the room looking for anything I can use but I find none. I look back at Ally but my eyes only find her lips.

My body moves the instance the thought came into my head and soon my lips meet hers Time, which had been going by so slow, sped up in that instant. Every emotion that I had bottled up for two years, I pour into our kiss; sorrow, grief, passion, trust, hurt, and love.

Please Ally, see just how much I need you, how lost I am without you.

I could have gone on kissing Ally but she pulls her lips away though she rests her head on mine.
I open my eyes and see hers; they are so close to mine. Confusion but peace shines inside those dark orbs. Did that not make her see, does she still not understand?

"I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't have done that… I should get going…" Though breaks my heart, I force myself away from her and stand up straight. Ally's eyes follow my every movement. It takes most of my strength to get my feet to move towards the door. As I reach for the doorknob an overwhelming feeling of despondency washes over me. Will Ally even return to normal? Do I really want this to be how I leave her, maybe for the last time?

"Be-before I go, I just want to say that I love you, I always will." I look at Ally, the love of my life, and see her staring at me with the same look that one might get in a movie with the same dilemma.

As I open the door, I inwardly hope she would call for me, to tell me it was all a joke but I stand outside the door, just having released the handle, and not a single noise or gesture comes from Ally.

With a silent click the door closes and my heart sinks deep, far deeper than the day Ally got hurt.
Then, I had the possibility of Ally returning to me, to come back and stay with me but now it's gone.

Tears spill as I stand in front of room 570, the place where the light of my life was extinguished. What am I going to do now?

I run out of the hospital, hopping into my car and race home, slamming the door as I enter.

"Austin… How many times have I told you not to slam the door when you come home?" My mom yells at me as I storm upstairs. "Austin, did you not hear me?!"

"Now is not the best time Mom!" I yell, taking the steps two at a time to get to my room. If I don't get there before my mom comes then I'll have to explain everything and I'm not in the mood for it.

"AUSTIN!"

Bam! I slam my door and collapse on my bed, the pain I had been holding in for so long comes pouring out.
Aahhh! I scream into my pillow to muffle the noise. How could this have happened? This was never supposed to be our life!

"Austin, what is the matter?" My mom's voice comes from the doorway. Surprisingly, she isn't upset. The floor creaks as she makes her way to me. Her gentle hand caresses my head as she sits next to me.

"Mom, s-she doesn't remember m-me!" I thought I cried all my tears but more pour out as sobs rack my chest.

"Who doesn't remember you? You kinda are hard to forget."

"Ally." Ally. Just the very thought hurts. "I've lost her forever."

"What do you mean by that? I thought she was comatose." A perplexed look crosses my mother's face.

"She woke up but she doesn't remember me. She told me I was supposed to be dead and that I wasn't real. Mom, what am I supposed to do!?"

"I don't know what is going on but I thought I taught you to never give up. Austin, never give up."

"You're right Mom. I'm never going to give up on Ally." New determination flows through me and I sit up hopeful.

"That's my boy. Now, I've got to go finish dinner before your father gets home." Mom tousles my hair as she stands to leave.

When the door closes behind my mom I jump up, grabbing my guitar and a note book from my desk, writing what I feel down and putting music to the words.

Hey guys, new chapter done. It feels good to finally be done.This chapter isn't quite how I wanted to be but I got what I wanted to get across.

Right now I have a lab dog on my feet and a sleeping black cat lying on me. I think animals like me.

Life has become so hectic for me. I really need to get more sleep. Yesterday I totally crashed before 11:30pm and I normally stay awake till almost 2am. Maybe I should sleep more and not be on fanfiction as much.

~ND~