Chapter 12 - Letting go

Austin's Point of View

My fingers strum the last notes on my guitar. I smile, I cannot help myself as pride swells inside me; I wrote my own song sung it infront of an audience and I think people enjoyed it.

Not that I would care if people didn't liked it. I did not write it to be produced and reorded, I wrote in with one person mind and only she can tell me how it sounded; only she can relight the fire that my soul once was.

I look up from where my finger rested and brown eyes lift to meet mine. Her eyes are not what they used to be; bright, full of life and ideas, ready to take on the world. Now they are clouded over with fear and confusion, sadness and hurt over something spill from them.

instantly my heart plummets, my guitar weighing heavily in my hands. My guilt and shame from earlier return and I regret planning and coming to see Ally.

I did this to her!

Maybe it would have been better to quietly walk out of her life with minimal heartbreak but no, I had to go and try to win her back and all it will do is break my heart.

I remove my gaze from Ally's and shoot a look at Dez, hoping he understands my look, the start stowing my instrument and securing all my things before heading out the door.

As I drive away, more memories of Ally fill my mind. Not of the things we did but what made her Ally Dawson:

Pickles and School

Chewing hair and Stage Fright

Writing and Playing Music

Being kind and Always (most of the time) happy.

Everything she did for as long as I knew her screamed All and that she was halere to stay yet the look she gave me was of determined surrender. That look was not Ally, not MY Ally.

I drive in autopilot not really paying attention to the direction I headed until I stop at a red light and look up.

A worn down sign looks at me, its lights flickering with faulty wiring begging me to enter the shop below.

I stare at the sign as I pull my car into the nearest parking spot and walk over to the shop. I pull on the dirty handle but the door is locked shut. I drop my gaze, it coming to rest my keys.

Is it possible?

My fingers quickly search out the key and I insert it into the lock with a quiet prayer, hoping the lock was never changed.

Seconds later I hear a slight click and, after tugging once again, the door opens, giving me access to this place in over a year and a half.

My fingers brush over the dusty stair rail as I walk up to the sscond floor, throwing me back years into the past, into a happier time.

I stride to a door with a familiar but filthy music note on it and listen to the hinges squeak as the door opens into a room with an overwelming amount of sentimentality.

I take a quick walk around the room; everything is where it should though no one has been in here in two years.

I slowly sink down onto the piano bench placing my head on the yellowed keys, an sharp out of tune noise emanating from them.

Here, in a place that makes me feel the closest I can be to my Ally, do I let the tears flow and allow guilt to swallow me up.

I am the one who encouraged Ally to continue to ride more rides, I was the one who pressured her into going in the first place. Everything since that day that ever went wrong with Ally was my fault and I knew that I would have to do everything I could to make sure Ally woke up to forgive me and I did just that.

But now? Did I accomplish what I'm supposed? Was sole purpose to protect the girl, no, woman I love? If my life was just to do all that I utterly failed.

How is the Moon supposed to shine without his Sun?

Hey guys! It's another chapter! I have been really busy (again) but this time I was able to write this! I did have this written on Saturday but my Internet went out. So now you all had to wait a little longer.

Not much this time, just tell me what you think!

Review, follow and favorite!

~ND~