I do not own Twilight.
*peeks out from behind wall* Umm... hi! I'm still around. Have no excuses for the delay other than life. I haven't even replied to last chapters reviews - I'm sorry! I promise I will!
So remember last chapter Edward saw Bella at the bar and he took off? Let's see how he handled that...
Skin - RagnBone Man
When I heard that sound
When the walls came down
I was thinking about you
About you
When my skin grows old
When my breath runs cold
I'll be thinking about you
About you
When I run out of air to breathe
It's your ghost I see
I'll be thinking about you, about you
While I reached out for your hand
When the walls were caving in
When I see you on the other side
We can try all over again
~~TTD~~
My head is a pounding thumping mess. Sunlight streams through the window and I cover my eyes with my forearm. I groan, wishing the jackhammers in my brain would just stop.
"Bella." I'm barely coherent when I hear the name spoken. I roll, finding myself flat on my ass as I roll off the couch.
"Jesus fucking Christ. What?" I pry my eyes open to find Emmett sitting in the love seat across from me. I slam them shut to try to eliminate the pain coursing through my head. I again slowly open one blurry eye at a time. I survey the room, the damage taking me by surprise. I don't recall much from last night after I ran all the way home in the pouring rain. The thunderstorm that was teasing in the far off distance was a lot closer than I expected.
I was saturated by the time I got home, but I couldn't feel the sopping wet clothes clinging to my skin. I remember grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, not even bothering to pour a glass as I swigged straight from the bottle, pools of water gathering at my feet on the soft carpet. I tracked dirty footprints where I had paced back and forth, guzzling from the bottle as I recalled the deep brown eyes of the woman who has haunted me, made me go insane over the past few weeks.
I manage to make it to a sitting position where I take in the disaster in front of me. Broken shards of glass from photo frames lay splintered on the carpet. The mostly drunk bottle of whiskey is toppled over on the coffee table. A lamp shade sits haphazardly on it base, which is situated precariously close to the edge of the lamp table. Every single picture in the room is torn from its position; a vase thrown across the room has left its indentation in the wall. I drop my head to my hands, closing my eyes once again to try to ease the pounding effects of last night's alcohol.
"Here, take these." I reluctantly open my eyes to see Emmett's hand in front of my face, two white pills in his palm and a bottle of water dangling from his fingertips. I gingerly take them, wishing a speedy relief from this nightmare. Sadly I think a headache is the least of my worries.
"I said... her name is Bella. Go clean yourself up, take a shower. I'll start on this mess, and then I'll tell you about her."
He leaves the den to find some cleaning supplies while I take the stairs back to our room to shower. I let the warm water run over me, my arms braced against the cool shower wall to stop myself from falling over. Somehow the events of last night feel like a nightmare, but the damage in the den suggests it was very, very real. I close my eyes and try to let the water relax me, but I feel like a tightly wound coil ready to spring at any moment. And the thing is I don't even know why.
I knew all along it was impossible that Senna would be alive. It was ridiculous for me to even contemplate that possibility in the first place. But somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, that hope was there—that maybe she would come back to me. But knowing that poses the question—who is the woman that was at the bar last night? Is she the same one I've been seeing the past few weeks? Why does she look so much like my dead wife?
The only person that has any kind of answers seems to be Emmett, so I hurriedly finish my shower and towel dry. I brush my teeth at the sink, trying to rid my mouth of the shitty taste that always accompanies a heavy night of drinking. I glance quickly in the mirror, knowing I look like crap, anyway. My skin is pale and the dark circles under my eyes are even more pronounced than normal. The scruff on my face scratches my palm as I rub my hands over it, still trying to sober up and get my wits about me. My stomach starts to gurgle, the post binge nausea threatening to overtake my bodily functions. I fight back the taste of bile and after a few minutes head back downstairs. Emmett has a garbage bin in one hand and is squatting picking up the debris littering the floor. Now that I take a closer look there isn't much that's been untouched. CDs and broken cases litter the floor, random scribblings on pieces of paper are settled where they've floated to the floor after I cleared the desk in one fell swoop.
"Help me clean this up, then I'll make us some breakfast and tell you what I know." Emmett hasn't looked up the whole time he's speaking to me and I can't tell if he's pissed off or not. We work together cleaning up the rest of the mess until he breaks the silence. "I have no idea how you managed to trash everything but Senna's stuff." He shakes his head and continues to clean, and I glance around the room seeing that he's right. The den was mainly for my writing anyway, but often Senna would join me and lounge on the couch while I worked. Said couch is now upended underneath the window overlooking the back yard.
We finish up and I take the bag of trash to the bin while Emmett starts frying some bacon. The smell entices me back to the kitchen where I take a seat at the counter in front of a hot cup of coffee.
"As I was saying…" he starts nervously, his back to me. "Her name is Bella."
He turns a pained expression on his face.
Something isn't right. He looks…guilty? He must know her. How can he and not say anything to me? What has he been hiding? Dozens of questions run through my head and irrational anger starts to bubble inside me. He must see it in my face as he holds his hands up in supplication.
"Just...calm down, Edward. I just met her last night. I'll explain everything if you give me a chance."
He settles in front of me with a plate of eggs and bacon which he bypasses for the time being for his steaming cup of coffee.
"The blonde I met at the bar—her name is Rosalie. I went back to talk to her after I got your message that you'd gone. I didn't think anything was wrong—probably you'd had a bit too much to drink and were catching a cab home." He pauses and runs his hands through his hair, causing the strands to stand up on end. "Christ, Edward. If I knew the reason you ran I would have come with you. I would have made sure you were ok. That, in there…" he points his thumb over his shoulder toward the den, "I've never seen you do anything like that in the entire time I've known you."
I rub my forehead, knowing that he's right. It is totally out of character for me to lose it like that.
"Anyway...as I was saying, I went to find Rosalie, and she was sitting in a booth, waiting for her friends. She invited me to join them so I did. I just...fuck! I shit myself when I saw her, E. She's the spitting image of Sen. No wonder you took off after you saw her. I wanted to leave too. Frankly, I was kinda freaked out looking at her. Anyway Rose begged me to stay, and...Well, I really kind of like her. So I stayed, and we talked a while.
"Turns out Bella is a really nice chick. She's new to Chicago, transferred to the hospital from Seattle. Garrett, her boyfriend seems like a decent guy. He still lives in Seattle but they're trying the long distance thing. Rose met Bella through work and invited her out last night."
I churn this new information over in my head, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. If she's only been here a few weeks, it could very well have been her that I saw at the cemetery and it was more than likely her at the coffee shop the other handful of places I'd had sightings. It's all starting to make sense, except…
"Emmett, where did you say she is working?"
"At UCH, not sure where though. I didn't get to ask that many questions about her." He looks puzzled as he scratches his head in thought. "Hey, she probably knows your old man. But wait...no she can't. Your dad surely would have mentioned something."
I push the food around on my plate, contemplating what Emmett has just said. "You know what, I think he already has."
"What do you mean?"
"I was at mom and dad's the other day. I'd been seeing this person around and thought I was going crazy and needed that damn psych appointment. So I asked him if he believed in ghosts and he went as pale as one himself. Ma got really worried, but he waved her off and ended the conversation."
"Yeah, that doesn't sound like Carlisle at all. He's normally all in for those kinds of debates." After a few seconds he asks tentatively, "So what are you going to do?"
I run my hands through my hair having given up on trying to stomach any food. It'll just come back up anyways. "Christ...I don't know Em. I should just leave it, but it kills me thinking that he's keeping something like that from me. I'll just drive myself further insane if I don't talk to him about it."
"Yeah, I agree. I think it would be a good idea to talk to him. Hey, I know I've asked before, but Senna didn't have any other family did she? Some unknown aunts and uncles or cousins that she didn't know about?"
I shake my head decisively. This is something that we'd talked about before. She's an only child from only children from only children. We'd laughed about it that it was some sort of family curse. She'd said that at least if she had a cousin she wouldn't be so lonely.
"No, definitely not. We'd talked about it and went back through her family history. Definitely no one around her age."
"Hmmm...maybe she just has a doppelgänger. Remember a couple of years ago we were discussing them after seeing that Facebook post?"
"Yeah, but they're so alike, she could be her twin. Did you really look at her, Em? They're the same except for her eyes. It's the first time I've seen her up close, and it's even worse than looking at her from afar."
"Yeah, yeah I did man. I don't know what to say. If you reckon Sen didn't have any other family it has to be just a strange coincidence."
"A bit too alike to be a coincidence," I grumble under my breath. Something just doesn't feel right but I can't put my finger on it. If Emmett heard me he doesn't comment. "Listen, did Alice and Jasper happen to see her?" My thoughts are racing with how they would have reacted to seeing her.
"No, they took off just after you left. Wanted to get home to the baby. If they had seen her there, I'm sure they would have said something."
"I think you're right." I push the plate to the side, my interest in the food completely abated. The rolling stomach is still there, but for completely different reasons.
"You finished?" Em points to the plate. I nod so he takes both to the kitchen and scrapes them off. "Listen man, you ok?" He asks as he places the dishes in the sink. "I mean, do I have to be worried about that again?" Pointing over his shoulder I know he's talking about last night.
"Nope. One off Em. Will never happen again."
Grabbing his keys off the counter he eyes me, weighing up whether to believe me or not.
"Ok. I believe you. I need to take off, but give me a call when you're done talking with your Dad ok? I'm curious to find out what he knows."
I follow him to the door, ready to lock it once he leaves. "No worries. Thanks for your help, it's appreciated." Em leans in and gives me an unexpected hug. With his longs strides taking up the driveway and a 'laters' thrown over his shoulder, he's gone.
I head back into the den, feeling awfully out of sorts. It's like I can feel a shift, something has changed and I'm not sure what it is. Lowering myself to the couch by the window I stare at the garden. It's been neglected since Senna has been gone. She was the green thumb, said it calmed her and it was good to get her hands in the earth and feel grounded. I replay memories over and over in my head. There's no order or reason for them, just random recollections. Hours must tick past. By the time I regain some type of coherency, it's dark outside and I'm still sitting in the same position on the couch, but now I'm staring at the stars.
Tomorrow. I'll go see Dad tomorrow and find out what he knows.
Thoughts? What do you think Carlisle will say?
Love love that song by Rag'n'Bone man. Go have a listen if you haven't already heard it.
Next update will probably be Into The Light. So if you haven't read it jump on over, it's on my profile. There's only a chapter so far so not a lot to read. We'll see Bella's POV from their meeting. These chapters will be shorter and not as in depth, but it's important to see some of this story from BPOV.
Skin by Rag'n'Bone Man from the album "Human"
Songwriters: Daniel Bryer / Jamie Scott / Jonny Coffer / Mike Needle / Rory Graham