Ren wakes up the next morning to the smell of bacon in the air.
It's his first clue something is wrong. His mother never makes bacon unless something important is happening. While Ren would consider his final test to see if he could make it as a genin important he doubts his mother does. She went through the tests to become genin as well, no doubt she would consider her son having to do so just another step for him to take.
Narrowing his eyes, Ren throws off his blankets and gets dressed. Tossing on a black mesh shirt and some cargo shorts he grabs his red jacket with a the Haruno circle on the back and throws it on before heading down stairs after securing his weapon pouches.
In a house full of ninja, it's best to be prepared for whatever it can throw at you. And while Ren doesn't expect his mother to attack him his father is an entirely different matter.
Kizashi, his father in this, seems to enjoy attacking Ren at the most random of times. Something about surprise attacks teaching him to expect the unexpected. His mother does nothing to stop her husband, in fact, Ren almost thinks she enjoys watching the two of them fight.
Knowing her, it's most likely true.
When Ren reaches the bottom of the stairs and enters the kitchen he is only marginally surprised to see his father scarfing down the eggs and bacon his mother had laid out for him.
Somehow, he's only marginally disappointed when he realizes that there hasn't been any food laid out for him.
"None for me then?" Ren asks.
"Hmm," Mebuki says, "No, I'm afraid not. Your sensei told us not to feed you in case you throw up."
Of course, Ren thinks sourly, Kakashi just had to make sure I didn't eat at home.
"Right," Ren says, irritation clear in his voice, "Well, I'm heading out to Ichiraku's then."
His father laughs, loud and boisterous.
"Not scared of your sensei's warnings then?"
"No," Ren deadpans, "I'd rather throw up than face him on an empty stomach."
"Smart boy," His mother tells his father as he leaves, "He might have a chance."
Your faith in me is so reassuring mom, Ren thinks as he stalks his way toward Ichiraku's.
Definitely what every twelve year old needs to hear.
Rolling his eyes Ren pushes open the curtain to Ichiraku's only to stop short. Sitting in front of him is Naruto, slurping back what looks to be his third bowl of ramen.
Ren sighs loudly, drawing both Naruto's and Teuchi's attention.
"Naruto," Ren says, "When I said ignore Kakashi-sensei and eat breakfast I didn't mean gorge yourself on ramen before our test." Eyeing the pile of bowls beside Naruto with distaste Ren takes a seat next to Naruto and adds, "At the rate you're eating you are going to throw out when we face sensei."
Naruto pales and points an accusing finger at Ren.
"I thought you said we needed all the calories we could get." Naruto exclaims.
"That doesn't mean eat until you're sick." Giving his order for a bowl of Tonkotsu ramen to Teuchi, Ren turns back to look at Naruto, "Besides, we can always come back here later. After we pass whatever test Kakashi-sensei is planning."
Naruto blinks.
"Eh? You'd come back here with me?"
Ren shrugs, quickly thanking Teuchi for the ramen he placed in front of Ren. Teuchi nods, going back to his work but Ren can still feel the old mans eyes on them.
Ren almost snorts. Naruto is his teammate, and though they may not like each other that much Ren is determined to make their team work. He's not going to be a dick to Naruto just for the sake of it.
Though if Naruto kisses him again Ren will not be held responsible for his actions.
"Sure," Ren says, "Now shut up and let me eat."
Later, after telling Naruto they were going to be late and watching him rush toward the training grounds Ren decides that he needs a new weapon. Judging by the sun it's only half past nine and Ren doubts Kakashi is going to show up before eleven. With that in mind, Ren heads out to the weapons shop his father had recommended to him before.
He still has some money his parents had given him as a graduation present, and what better way to spend it than on a weapon that will serve him for the rest of his genin career?
Once he's there Ren quickly enters the shop only to stop short once inside. Inside there are weapons lining the walls and hanging from the ceiling, it's every weapon-masters dreams. Hell, it's every shinobi's dream
If Ren himself is a little dumbstruck, well, he thinks he's excused on the grounds of being a new genin.
Shaking himself, Ren turns to look at the amused owner of the shop.
"Yo," Ren says, "Do you have any brass knuckles?"
Ren arrives, as expected, late to Training Ground Seven. Naruto and Sasuke are already there.
Kakashi isn't. That isn't surprising.
None the less, that doesn't stop either Sasuke or Naruto from chewing him out.
"Where were you?" Sasuke demands as soon as Ren shows up, "You're late."
"Chill Uchiha," Ren says, "I was busy."
Beside Sasuke, Naruto snickers.
"I bet Ren was too busy eating ramen to make it on time." Naruto jeers, a silly grin spreading across his face.
"No," Ren says, "I was actually weapon shopping."
That seems to peak the other boys interests as they suddenly gathered around him.
"What'd you get?" Naruto asks, leaning in far too close for Ren to be comfortable, "Is it super cool?"
Sasuke snorts at Naruto's words. But even he looks interested.
"Yes, it is super cool," Ren says, "No, I'm not telling you what it is. It's a secret."
"In other words it's probably not worth our time." Sasuke says.
Ren scoffs.
"It is entirely worth you time," He says, "Though I wouldn't be surprised if someone like you wouldn't be able to handle their magnificence."
Sasuke scowls, "Whatever, it can't be that good."
"On the contrary, it's fucking great."
Just as Sasuke opens his mouth to argue a hand lands on top pf his head.
Sasuke's scowl deepens.
"Now, now," Kakashi says, smiling from underneath his mask, "Let's not fight amongst each other yes?"
"Whatever sensei," Ren says, rolling his eyes, "What's the test?"
"You're not going to ask why he's late?" Naruto asks.
"Nah," Ren says, "I'm pretty sure we have the laziest sensei around. He's always going to be late."
"Oho," Kakashi says, "You seem pretty sure that you're going to pass."
"Because we are," Ren says confidently, holding his head high, "I'm not about to let my teammates fail."
"Interesting idea," Kakashi says, eye crinkling as he removes his hand from Sasuke's head, "Too bad only two of you will pass."
"What?" Naruto exclaims, "That's not fair!"
"Shinobi aren't suppose to be fair," Sasuke shoots back at Naruto, before turning to look back at Kakashi, "What are the rules?"
Kakashi whips out two bells from his weapons pounch and gives the three of them a smile.
"Oh it's simple really," Kakashi says, "The first two to get the bells graduate, the other one gets sent back to the Academy."
Ren nods sharply. "Anything else?"
"Hmm? Oh yes," Kakashi's playful demeanour suddenly turns serious, "If you want to get the bells you better come at me with the intent to kill."
The silence between the three genin is almost deafening.
Kakashi smiles.
"Alright!" He says, "Three, two, one, go."
Naruto makes to rush at Kakashi so Ren reaches out and grabs him, hauling him away from their sensei before taking off running. Dragging a protesting Naruto with him.
Sasuke is nowhere to be seen.
Ren decides to worry about him later.
Right now, his focus is on Naruto and finding a way to convince Naruto to work with him and Sasuke. While Ren doesn't doubt that Sasuke will be the more difficult of the two to convince that teamwork is needed he's determined to make this work.
He is not getting sent back to the Academy.
No fucking way.
Once they are far enough into the forest Ren lets go of Naruto's arm and spuns around to speak to him.
Before Ren can open his mouth Naruto is in his face ranting at him.
"What did ya do that for?" Naruto demands, "I could have had him!"
Ren snorts, "Naruto think for a goddamn second. He's a jonin, he's worth ten of us," Ren says, "The only way we have a hope of defeating him is if we work together."
Naruto narrows his eyes for a moment before his expression brightens.
"Huh I guess," Naruto says, "But that means that loser Sasuke gets to go back to the Academy right?"
"No," Ren deadpans, before Naruto can protest he adds, "We need Sasuke too. For all we know Kakashi-sensei could be lying about sending one of us back and send all of us back even if we do get the bells."
"Why would he lie?"
"Think about it Naruto," Ren says, "Genin teams are made up of three man cells with a jonin overseeing each team. Unless he has a backup genin Kakashi-sensei would be making up a two man cell with one jonin teacher."
"In other words he'd be doing something against the rules?"
"In other words he's tricking us," Ren corrects.
Naruto fumes.
"That bastard," He says, "Well show him! Ren, where is Sasuke?"
Ren blinks before closing his eyes and concentrating. Sensing chakra isn't something that's second nature to him. He's not a natural sensor, rather it's something his father had taught him, and though Ren's range s limited he's still rather confident that he can find Sasuke's unique chakra signature.
Beside him Naruto feels like the sun. Bright and gold and burning, Naruto seems at once cheerful and dangerous.
Ren smirks, and expands his senses further.
He finds Sasuke burning too. Not like Naruto though, Sasuke is more like a wildfire and lightning. Devouring everything in it's path and leaving new growth and the smell of ozone behind.
Sasuke's chakra is bright, like a flash of lightning across the sky and white fire. Ren has no doubt that Sasuke is dangerous too.
Ren opens his eyes.
"Found him," He says.
When Naruto and Ren find Sasuke he's been pulled underground so just his head is showing.
Naruto snickers, "Heh, sensei sure got you didn't he?"
If looks could kill, Naruto would be ten feet underground.
"Shut up." Sasuke says, irritation lacing his voice.
"Anyway," Ren says, ignoring both of them, "Naruto and I have an idea on how to get the bells. You in or out?"
"I don't need help from people like you."
"Alright," Ren says, "I guess we'll just leave you in the hole and go get the bells ourselves."
Sasuke narrows his eyes, "Only two of us can graduate anyway."
Ren smirks, "There's a loophole to everything Uchiha."
Sasuke considers them for a moment.
"Alright," He says at last, "What's the plan?"
In the end Ren doesn't get to use his brass knuckles on his sensei.
He's only mildly disappointed in that fact.
Ren watches as Naruto spams the area with clones, each one of them trying to take down Kakashi.
It goes as expected, the clones are defeated and just as Naruto is about to get hit by Kakashi a fireball interrupts their bout. Kakashi pushes Naruto away from them and jumps as to not get hit by the fireball Sasuke had cast.
That's Ren's cue.
Without hesitation Ren bursts onto the scene beside Kakashi. Rushing at him, Ren aims a punch full of concentrated chakra at bells dangling from Kakashi's weapons pouch.
The punch repels the bells away from him, breaking the strings attaching the bells to Kakashi's weapons pouch in the process. Ren rolls forward and comes up with both the bells in his hands.
Naruto let's out a whoop in victory and Sasuke comes out from behind the trees he was hiding in.
"Hell yeah!" Naruto says, "We got the bells!"
Sasuke just smirks and Ren rolls his eyes.
"Yeah," He says, walking toward the other two and throwing one of the bells toward each of them, "Here ya go."
"Eh?" Naruto says, "Shouldn't you take one?"
Ren shrugs.
"Nah," He says, "I may have come up with the plan but you two did most of the work. Besides," He adds, "It's not like another year at the Academy is going to kill me."
Suddenly there's a bell being thrust in his face.
Ren blinks.
"Take it," Naruto says determinedly, "I can go back to the Academy, you deserve this."
"Ah," Ren says, "Naruto you truly are an idiot."
Naruto reels back as if shocked.
"Eh?!"
"I'm not taking any of your bells," Ren says, crossing his arms, "I know how important being a ninja is to both of you. So no, I'm not taking either of your bells."
"Ahem," Kakashi says from behind him, Ren turns to look at him.
Kakashi smiles and gives them a thumbs up.
"You all pass!"
Ren smirks before glancing at Sasuke and Naruto.
"Told you it would work."
"So let me get this straight," Kakashi says from his seat at Ichiraku's, "Ren came up with a plan to make sure you all passed. And that planned involved tricking me into thinking that one of you would had the bells over."
Ren shrugs.
"Yeah," He says, "Pretty much."
"And if had been wrong and I did send you back to the Academy?" Kakashi questions.
"It wouldn't have been that great of a loss," Ren says, "Besides, I have a back up plan if this whole shinobi thing doesn't work out."
"Oh? And what is that plan?"
"Easy," Ren says, "If I had failed I would have become a poet."
That seems to catch Sasuke's and Naruto's attention.
"Urgh," Naruto says, "Poetry."
Ren raises an eyebrow, "Got a problem with it Uzumaki?"
"It doesn't make any sense!" Naruto says waving his chopsticks around, "It's all metaphors and shit! I don't get how people could like it!"
Sasuke rolls his eyes, "Of course someone like you wouldn't get it."
Ren blinks, and before Naruto can respond to Sasuke's taunts Ren says, "Eh, Uchiha? You know poetry?"
Sasuke shrugs, ducking his head and looking embarrassed.
"Some of it," He grumbles, "Is pretty good."
Ren laughs.
"Just some of it?" He teases.
Sasuke looks away and doesn't respond.
Ren grins.
"I'm home," Ren announces as he enters his house.
"Good for you," His mother says dryly, eyeing the Konoha headband still tied around his neck, "I take it you passed then?"
Ren nods.
"Yeah," He says, smiling a bit, "We did."