Chapter 32: A Place To Sing

As Carol watched, Rick stalked the prison yard fence around their new home, and Daryl paced an overturned bus, watching from his higher vantage point for any danger Rick might have missed.

Their men might be still on edge, but as she bent to stir the stew, Carol hadn't felt this good in months. She hadn't realized how tensed she'd been against the constant reach of walker hands until the space of the prison lawn expanded out around her. Yards and yards empty of danger so that even if she closed her eyes, nothing could hurt her.

Her back was to Daryl right now and not once had she felt the itch to check and make sure nothing was creeping up on his blind side while he was busy watching hers. Instead, she took a little longer serving the stew than she needed to, because she could feel his eyes on her and her backside was looking pretty good these days, what with all the hiking and running they ended up doing. There was just enough light left in the sky that if he were of a mind to, he could appreciate that fact thoroughly from his high perch.

Then again, he was still Daryl, so he'd probably blushed and turned away. She sighed and straightened with his bowl in her hand, then defiantly added an extra half-scoop of stew to the bowl. He'd worked hard today, hauling off walker bodies, and they wouldn't even have meat to thicken the stew if it weren't for him.

Finding the prison had worked just as they'd hoped. They scouted up ahead, and reported about invisible herds to Rick until he routed them onto the roads they needed. But even once they got there, he had ignored all the prison signs until Daryl had to take him "hunting" on a railroad track that ran right by the jail to get him to see the opportunity in front of them. As if Rick had ever been any help at all when it came to hunting.

Of course, once he'd glimpsed the penitentiary yard, Rick's strategic mind took over and he instantly devised a workable plan for clearing it. Their group had worked as smoothly as any military unit, claiming it for themselves before the sun even drooped to the horizon that night.

Carl came up beside her. "Can I fill a bowl for Dad before everybody else splits it up?"

"Course you can, sweetie," she told him. Rick had picked up on Daryl's trick of disappearing right before dinner to avoid the inevitable arguments and Lori's guilty looks when he forced her to take all of her share and half of his.

It made Carol indignant. As if she wouldn't make sure Lori was taken care of. They'd been doing their Lamaze practice together twice a day, and Carol had fought a freaking burglar hand to hand to bring back those folic acid supplements for her. She always made sure Lori had the biggest share to eat, even without the men sacrificing food they needed almost as badly.

"I'm just going to take supper up to Daryl," Carol said. "God knows he'll probably be up on that bus all night, as if those walkers could chew the fence down."

Maggie laughed. "Right? He's been more twitchy in here than he was back when we didn't have a fence."

Carol smiled and shook her head, but Maggie's comment tickled something in the back of her mind. She put it aside to mull over later and walked swiftly toward the bus so the stew wouldn't be too cold by the time she got there.

They'd been too busy today for him to hunt, but she'd been having some success with salting meat so it would keep for a day or two, then letting most of the salt come off to make a sort of broth in the stew. Plus she added lots of pepper, which tended to cover up those first hints of oddness when meat was just starting to turn, but before it was old enough to make you sick. The longer they were on the road, the longer she could stretch the rations before their stomachs rebelled. They were getting tougher. Though Daryl was still the only one with a gut strong enough to eat raw meat. He'd offered to share his owl earlier, and everybody had turned him down. Though if Rick hadn't come in and thrown his hissy fit, she was pretty sure nobody would have refused a share of Carl's canned dog food.

She stepped through the open emergency exit door of the bus that lay on its side, tiptoeing across the windows and hoping they were pressed tightly enough to the ground that they wouldn't break under her weight.

She understood Rick's outburst over the dog food. He was grouchy when he was hungry just like the rest of them, but he pressed all that irritation down quiet and deep so it only came out in his movements. They were sharper, seething with a dangerous strength that wasn't entirely under his control. When he was like that, he moved like Ed. Which made Hershel press his lips together and Beth roll her eyes, but it made Daryl flinch.

On those days, he always oriented himself so Rick was never out of his sight.

Carol didn't even think Daryl knew he was doing it. It was just buried deep in who they were, both of them. Because it made Carol flinch, too. She knew Rick well enough to know he'd never raise a hand to Lori or the rest of them, but something in her body didn't know that. And the closer they got to Lori's time, the meaner Rick moved. It was as if the man in him recognized his woman needed shelter and he was chewing his own legs off with the frustration of not being able to give it to her. She thought he'd be better tonight with the fences around them, but instead he stalked back and forth, one eye on that big prison building like it was a giant, meaty steak.

Yes, she understood why Rick lost his temper. But she didn't have to like it.

She pushed the bowl of stew up through the ripped off door to the top of the bus, climbing up on the side of one of the seats while trying to keep weight off her sore arm. Daryl's hand reached down and caught hers just as her foot rolled off the edge of the squishy upholstery. He hauled her up through the opening and she smiled at him. "We made it."

His lips twitched upward, the smallest of smiles to acknowledge their shared secret. They were snug inside the prison and Rick thought it had been all his idea.

She straightened and looked out over the yard, the fresh air bringing back the sense of freedom she'd felt earlier on the tower. It was the only time since all this started that there was an end to the walkers coming at them.

She could see all the threats clearly, the fences kept more from coming in behind them, and it was startlingly easy to aim and put down the enemy with the smallest squeeze of her finger. Not to mention she'd felt nearly as tall as one of those towers when Rick had chosen her to be amongst the shooters rather than stabbing walkers through the fence with the rest of the group.

Today was the first time since the end of the world that it felt like winning was an option.

Carol glanced over and her joy subsided just a little at how small that bowl looked in Daryl's big hands. "It's not much, but if I don't bring you something, you won't eat at all." She shot him a glance to let him know what she thought of his continued stubbornness.

"Little Shane's over there's got quite the appetite."

She almost laughed, then pressed her lips together to stop it. "Don't be mean." If Rick heard him say that, it would break his heart. It was one thing, knowing something. It was another thing having to endure the shame of everyone else knowing, too. "Rick's gotten us a lot further than I thought he would, I'll give him that," she said with a tug of guilt at them taking the credit for the prison, even in her own mind. Rick had made that suicide run across the yard, after all, and that was a crazy enough move not even Daryl had volunteered. "Shane never could have done that."

Her arm ached and she wished she would have given Daryl her good hand not her bad. He'd pulled her up with so much strength it wrenched her already sore shoulder. She rolled it, trying to loosen the kink.

" 'S wrong?" he asked.

She winced, telling him half the truth. "The kickback on that rifle. I'm just not used to it."

Rick had taken the deer hunting rifle she'd trained with, because it was lighter to run with. Though she might not have nearly shot off his foot if he'd left her the scope she was used to.

"C'mere." Daryl licked his fingers clean and set down his bowl.

She glanced out at the group, then at him. But maybe treating injuries didn't trigger his superstition about other people seeing him being affectionate toward her, because he started massaging her muscle with quick, expert movements like he knew just where the strain settled into the cup of your shoulder and collarbone. But then, with the weight of the draw, that crossbow probably kicked like hell. The one time he'd tried to teach her to shoot it, the recoil had sent her arrow arching well up into the canopy of trees overhead.

The stars glistened like diamonds, the fire glowing like a red-gold ruby from across the yard, and Carol suddenly wondered if this massage was because he was trying to be romantic.

She peeked over at him. He glanced up, momentarily distracted from his work. She looked back at the yard, bemused. He was rubbing her purposefully but almost roughly, like he was working the knots out of Rick's shoulder, without a single ulterior motive. He wasn't trying to impress her or seduce his way into her pants. He was doing it because it needed to be done, and because he didn't want her to be in pain. And to Carol, that was far more romantic than trying to be romantic would ever be.

She'd never had anything like him, in her whole life.

Carol couldn't help the smile spreading across her face and when she stole a look at him this time, awareness crept into his face. His fingers slowed, and got clumsier, like he'd just realized it was her body underneath his hands.

Heat flushed through her and the very air between them seemed to thrill with possibilities. He shifted his weight, shrugging more of his poncho off his shoulders to hang down the front of him as he dropped his hands. "We should get back."

Carol knew why he was putting the brakes on, but she couldn't help a fond grin at his blushing because really, what on earth did he think he was hiding? The fact that they were attracted to each other? That ship had steamed out of the harbor and was well on its way to the horizon.

"I don't know." She pursed her lips, feeling mischievous and in the mood to enjoy the little surge of pride it brought to know he was aware enough of her that she could make him blush. "It's pretty romantic…" she teased. Because it was everything he'd asked for. A warm, safe place where they could steal some privacy without worrying about the group's safety, or their own. "Wanna screw around?"

She let her eyes slip down his body and back up. He stiffened like she'd licked him, then shot a look across the open yard to where the group sat. Then a wry look at the pile of walker bodies next to the prison fence. He snorted.

She laughed, because that first look meant he'd thought about it, at least for a moment.

He bent as he eyed the drop down into the bus. "I'll go down first."

"Even better," she drawled.

He jerked a little, maybe because she'd never been so graphic with her teasing before. But her body was alive tonight and her thoughts weren't exactly clean.

"Stop," he grumbled, but he disappeared into the shadows before she could see if she'd coaxed another blush out of him.

It was a long drop to the seats in the bus, and she ended up dangling her legs and letting him catch her, sliding down his body with the security of his arms controlling her speed. But at that range, not even the thick wool of his poncho could muffle his response to her teasing.

Carol grinned and took a breath to comment, but his mouth sealed her joke away, and as soon as his tongue touched her lips, she forgot everything she'd meant to say. Her mouth melted open, inviting him inside. One of his hands stayed locked around her waist and the other came up, tentatively, to brush her cheek. Her heart swelled, because this felt as much like them as shooting from the tower side by side this morning.

They were together now, not just in the way they stayed close during the day as well as at night now. More like their minds had begun to parallel each other as much as their feet did. And right now his hunger for her was soothing the fierce burn down deep in her belly, the wriggle of uncertainty in the back of her mind. It felt good to know she wasn't the only one wanting.

He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers and panting harder than he had earlier when they'd taken the prison. "Ain't that I don't wanna," he growled.

She laid a hand flat against his chest, across the worn leather of his crossbow strap. "Shh, hey," she stopped him. "I know, Daryl. I was just teasing."

"Yard's good," he said. "But there ain't nowhere to go 'cept behind the bus." His jaw set solid. "Ain't gonna take m' girl behind no bus."

She closed her eyes and smiled into the kiss she left at the base of his throat. "I know you wouldn't." And he'd never relax if he was anywhere the others could hear them. He wanted to be with her, just her. She didn't know how many walkers she'd have to kill to make that happen, but the thought made her want to start nailing them through the fence without even waiting for morning.

"If we can put down enough of them through the fence," Daryl said, "we can take that next yard. Maybe one of the outbuildings where we can keep it cut off from the rest."

She chuckled softly and he scowled.

"What? Didn't say we could take on the whole damn prison. But if we do it smart, one piece at a time like today, we can."

"That's not why I'm laughing." She reached up and stroked his hair back from his temple. "Great minds think alike, that's all."

He looked at her, looked away. "Don't wantcha to go in, when we clear the next piece."

Her hand fell and she frowned. "Why the hell not? I'm as good with a knife as Maggie, more accurate with a gun than T-dog, even if he is stronger."

"You and Hershel are the only doctors. Until Lori's time, we can't risk ya or we might as well throw her to the walkers for all the chance she'll have, skinny little hips like hers. 'Sides, people'll get hurt, taking on that many at once. If there ain't nobody to stitch 'em back up we won't get far."

She glared at him. "You've been working on that argument all day, haven't you?"

"Didn't need all day. Don't take no brains to see the truth." His arms tightened obstinately around her. "For the yards, you can shoot from a tower. Take just as many as you could with a knife, without riskin' nothing."

"Only trophy worth earning is being alive, right?" she said sourly. "Then why aren't you going to be shooting from the tower, Mr. Don't Take No Brains?"

"'Cause Rick's gonna want to save ammo, so he's gonna try to kill as many as we can from the ground. Plus, once we find a little building to clear, won't be able to shoot from a tower anyway. Might as well use a knife as risk plugging each other in the dark with a ricochet." He looked off toward the exit to the bus, his face twitching as he chewed his lip. "Rick ain't in the mood to play it smart right now. With 'nother man's baby in his wife's belly, he's gotta be on the front lines to feel like he's still got balls in his britches."

Carol half-laughed, shaking her head despite the seriousness of his tone. It was just what she'd been thinking earlier, but what a way to put it!

"I gotta be there with him or man'll get himself killed." Daryl met her eyes. "He did the same for me in Atlanta, when I's out of my head and ready to run right into a herd if that's where Merle's trail led. He'd just met me, didn't know me from a dog turd he'd stepped in. All he knew is that I got an asshole for a brother and he helped me try 'n find him anyhow."

She squeezed his sides. That baby needed a father, their group needed a leader. But she already knew a part of her was going to wither the second Daryl was out of sight and she couldn't shoot the walkers reaching for him.

"All right," she said. "But if you go in there, play it smart and cautious. You're used to being the muscle and letting Rick be the brains, but until he calms down, you need to be both. Because this place is nice, but it isn't worth losing you over." She looked back at him just as hard. "I'll burn it to the ground tonight if I think you or anybody else is thinking of sacrificing themselves to win us a home with a fresh graveyard out front. You hear me?"

He ducked his head in the tiniest of nods, then gave her a shy smile. "A'right."

"Speaking of which, are you all right?" Carol asked as Maggie's words came back to her. "I know you didn't delay telling us about this prison for so long just because you were embarrassed that you knew where it was."

His nose twitched and he stepped away from her, tugging at the edge of his poncho. "Oughta get back."

"Claustrophobic?" she asked, wondering why the fence made him twitchier when all it made her feel was safe. "You were okay in the CDC, and heck, that was underground."

He shoved the back of his wrist across his face. "Spent my whole damn life tryin' to stay outta jail. It's all just one big cage. Person gets ya in a cage, they can do whatever they want to ya. Cain't run."

She reached out and squeezed his arm, holding on a little longer than she needed to. "Hey, even if we take it for the group, you don't have to stay in there. We can make a bedroom in that one tower, sleep up there. You can see for miles. It's nothing like a cage." Plus nobody'd be able to hear them for miles. A tingle warmed her way down low at the thought.

"Nah," he said, and something twinged painfully in her chest. "You oughta sleep near Lori, case the baby comes. I'll be a'right."

He started toward the back of the bus and she struggled with her expression, trying to stuff down her disappointment before they got back to the group. Had she been wrong? Was he not waiting just for privacy but he didn't really want her that way?

But no, every time they'd touched she'd felt his response, and he'd asked her to be his girl. He must be just taking his time.

Carol took a breath, letting her knee-jerk insecurity fade into the background again. Ed had said no one could ever want her but him, but he'd been wrong about that. He'd said she was worthless, too, and she wasn't. Not as far as Daryl was concerned, or the rest of the group, who turned to her for a dozen different things just before breakfast. These days, they might very well be the only people left in the world. They were certainly the only ones whose opinions mattered to her.

Maybe he simply meant what he said and he really cared more about Lori and the baby than he did about getting his rocks off. It wasn't just the lack of abuse that made Daryl a very different man than Ed.

The shadows slowly brightened as they reached the exit at the back of the bus and suddenly, the silence opened up into a voice raised in song.

Carol froze, her hand shooting out to grip Daryl's arm. In the same instant, he threw out a hand to keep her back.

What on earth was Beth thinking? The sound would draw in all manner of dangerous things.

But then she remembered where they were and she relaxed, squeezing his bicep through the poncho.

"It's okay," she said. "Here, it's safe to sing."

Author's Note: Ahhh! I can't believe we're finally here. This closing note (with my own twists on the canon scene) has been in my head since the very first moment I conceived of this fic. And this is, truly, the end. But I'm still going to tack on several chapters of epilogue-y goodness because I'm a huge Happy Epilogue fan (my last book ended up with one about a penis tiara because Important Reasons) and because this is fanfic and I do what I want and also OMG CAROL STILL HASN'T GOTTEN LAID AND THAT IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY CAN I GET AN AMEN? I never expected this to be a smutty fic but thanks to Daryl being shy AF, it's turned out even less smutty than I would have preferred. Let's see if I can fix that.