20/01-17
Dear diary
I know I told I wouldn't write before the 27th, but I need to talk. You know how Francis couldn't find his diary?
Arthur did find it and he has read it all. When he delivered it back, I have never seen him so sad. I thought he would be smirking really widely, but he didn't. In fact, he hugged Francis. Of course, everyone was confused. At last Francis told us why. Diary I can't even explain how heartbroken and sad I am right now. It turns out that Francis has blood cancer, Supposedly incurable.
I've cried so much. Francis is a great friend, I love him, but I think it took the hardest on Antonio and Gilbert. Antonio didn't spend a single moment away from Francis today, and Gilbert… well, he just left. He didn't even say anything.
Francis said it's named some kind of weird name I can't spell, but he said that people can live decades with it. I'm still worried though. Oh diary, I'm so glad to have Sebastiano. He took me out for a walk to talk about it. He is such a good brother. He takes care of us, especially when Grandpa isn't home.
I wonder how long Francis will live, I hope it'll be long because I'd be sad without him. School would be so different. There wouldn't be anyone to ship everyone, there wouldn't be any love expert or couple therapist. I think Arthur got really sad. He went outside to smoke and went with him just to get some air. He said that he wanted to hang out with Francis as well, but he couldn't stand being around Antonio after all that has happened.
I asked him about the whole cheating thing and he told me that it had been one night. One night that he regretted with his life. He admitted to have flirted with him on text, but that he felt very guilty about it. He really opened up to me. He told me that he missed being around Lovino a lot. He also felt bad that he had been such a bad friend, but Lovino wouldn't let him in.
I think Arthur is a good person, he just made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. It's understandable.
He also said that he wanted to try and become friends with Francis instead of picking on him all the time.
I want to be Arthur's friend, he seems nice. Most of all I want to fix everything. If I could, I'd make it so Lovino was happy, that he wasn't as insecure as he is. I would make it so that Arthur had never done something he has regretted that much. I would make it so that Francis could be cured. So that Kiku would tell me what was wrong. So that everyone was happy and that I could stop being anxious. I would make it so that my parents were still here.
I miss Ludwig so incredibly much. He comforted me today and I was grateful, but… I still wish he was here right now. He makes me feel as though there is no one else in this world. All my worries go away when I am with him. It is amazing. Do you think he feels the same way diary?
Haha, I hope so.
Sleep well diary - Feliciano Vargas